Your mom joke, but clever
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Clever Insult joke If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ level.
So my wife said to me, "I swear, it's like all men share one brain" I wanted to think of a clever comeback, but it wasn't my turn to use the brain
Ok my 4 year old came up with this one, not sure he really understands how clever it is though... Why did the Dragon Cross the Road? He wanted to eat some chicken.
Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: It's for you and your parents.
I came up with a clever strategy to get my girlfriend to like my wordplay-loving family.... ....but she didn't fall for my punning clan.
Clever guy applying for a job, ended up talking about the wages...
Manager: '' So you will start at $15 a hour and later you could earn at least $20 a hour. ''
Applicant: ''Alright then I'll be back later! ''
most clever student
Teacher: Who answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?
Boy: Me and I’m going home now.
“Daddy, I inherited my intelligence from you, right?”
“That’s right my clever girl!”
“Makes total sense! Mom’s so lucky she's still got hers!”
Q: A word that defines "a quick, clever reply to an insult or criticism." Sorry, this was "a riposte".
What's the difference between a tribe of clever pygmies and a girls' track team? One is a group of cunning runts.
Clever yo mama jokes
The title says it all.
Yo mama so fat that light bends around her.
The trouble with translating jokes is...
Many jokes rely on clever wordplay, which can get lost in translation!
(What? That always gets a laugh when I tell it in Basque.)
Did you hear about 50 Cent's clever new song about the small, detail-oriented urban cat? They're calling it "Fiddy's witty itty bitty nitty gritty city kitty ditty".
Got pulled over for drink driving and had to give a urine sample.
But clever me drank it before it could be analysed.
Now I'm getting charged for taking the piss:
I was tasked with coming up with a clever puberty pun But I guess I really dropped the balls on that one
In park people come across man playing chess with dog
They are of surprise and say "What clever dog!"
But man say: "No, no, he isn't so clever. I am lead by three game to one!"
Three stereotypes (one that you don't like) are in this particular situation The first two act in a normal or clever way, while the third confirms some negative thing you want to think about the stereotype, but in a humorous way!!
Dolphins are really clever In fact, they have trained humans to stand at the edge of the pools and throw fish at them.
Got pulled over by the cops for drink driving, but clever me drank the urine sample. Now I am in court for taking the piss..
Last night I did a theatrical performance about puns Really it was just a clever play on words
Bad joke I made but thought it was clever in 4th grade
What do you get when you slice ice cream?
... I think I'll join the reposting group now...
My better half said period jokes aren't clever So I wound up discarding 3 pages of jokes i had expounded on the Victorian period.
God said to Eve: "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;" Clever as she was, she asked, "You mind if I pay in periods?"
“Daddy, I inherited my intelligence from you, didn’t I?” - “That’s right my clever girl!” “That makes sense, because mommy’s still got hers.”
I've perfected the art of clever comebacks Too bad I have no friends to talk to in first place.
What's the difference between a group of clever midgets and a women's track team? One's a bunch of cunning runts.
To be funny you must make both a clever and witty statement that is understood by the majority of people Or just kick someone in the nuts
Whenever I see a “Baby On Board” Bumper sticker, I think to myself.. The driver is either a really paranoid parent. Or a really clever child abductor.
A clever man decides he is going to steal a car Being clever he decides he seal steal a Tesla. The police find him and they say we are looking for this red Tesla. He reply’s this isn’t a Tesla, it’s an Edison
Need help with a clever response.. What can I do if whenever I hit my thumb with a hammer, it hurts?
Clever Boy ! A young boy came home from school and told his mother, "I had a big fight with my classmate. He called me a sissy." The mother asked, "What did you do?" The boy replied, "I hit him with my purse!"
When your not clever enough for metaphors... I've found literal comparisons make great fact similes.
I'm so proud of my mother-in-law We were sitting down to our St Patrick's day dinner. And I announced, "I took extra pickles, so Dill with it." I thought I was clever but she did me one better. She smiled sweetly and said, "That's ok. Today I'm Dublin everything!"
Everybody's trying to make clever statements on Twitter. In the end they always turn out as 'Stupid autocovfefe!'
I need some help with some really corny jokes.... I'm in need of some clever and creative corny jokes (example....what's brown and sticky? A stick) Keep in mind they need to be clean and appropriate for elementary students. Thank y'all!
Being in an interview and being a financial advisor are the same thing.
At first you need to convince them you can make them money and then you try to take it all!
Let me know if it's a repost I feel very clever now!
clever pupil makes fool his teacher
PUPIL: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: off course not.
PUPIL: good, because I didn't do my homework.
The clever boy
Boy: Dear sir, I want to ask you something.
Teacher: yes boy, ask me, what do you want?
Boy: Sir, do you punish anyone for something they did not do?
Teacher: No boy. Why should I?
Boy: Thank you sir. That’s a relief. I haven’t done the homework. -
What's the difference between a clever midget and an STD?
Well, one of them is a cunning runt...
side note: apparently Jim Morrison of The Doors said this gem at a meeting with some record executives.