Why does the blonde have smudges on the inside of her windshield?
She needs to drag her finger across the words as she's reading street signs.
Note: I just made this up. However, please tell me if someone else has a similar one.
Whats wet on the inside and hairy on the outside. It starts with 'C', ends with 'T', and has a 'U' and an 'N' in the middle. Coconut.
As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter… I slid my finger back out, and within seconds, she was going down on me. I thought to myself, “I really need a new boat.”
The pregnant lady sitting across from me laughed
"What is it?" I asked.
"Oh its nothing, just my baby doing standup."
"Really?" I inquired. "What did he say?"
"You wont get it." She laughed.
"It's an inside joke."
I like my women like I like my microwave Hot, clean, and she'll kill any baby I put inside her.
There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night The police told us to stay inside until they shot him
What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common? They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.
I like my women like I like my microwaves... Cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and willing and able to kill any baby I put inside them.
What is the worst part about locking your keys inside your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and asking for a coat hanger.
What did the robber say after detonating a bomb inside a bank? EDIT: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!
My uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain
He come out late at night to ring people's doorbells.
Because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician
A bag of Frito Lays and a bra are the same... Once you open them you realize there's only half of what you thought inside
What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood? Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.
What’s the worst part about being locked out of your car outside and abortion clinic? Having to go inside to ask for a coat hanger
I am a man trapped inside the body of a woman. I will never keep lube and glue in the same drawer ever again.
What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of an abortion clinic? Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.
one man six horses. a man was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him. The doctor described his condition as stable.
What's the difference between a black man and Batman? Batman can go inside a store without Robin
My friend keeps telling me to cheer up these days...
My friend keeps telling me to cheer up these days. He says it could be a lot worse , I could be trapped inside an underground hole filled with water.
I know he means well.
I swallowed some food coloring. My doctor says I'm OK But I feel like I've dyed a little inside
What’s the worst thing about locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
Did you hear about the surgeon who branded his initials on a patient's organ? Apparently it was an inside joke
A woman walks by a clothes shop, and spots a nice red dress in the window.
She goes inside to inquire:
Woman: Hi. I want to try on that red dress in the window.
Employee: Well, as you wish, but we have changing rooms too.
why do scuba divers go in the water backwards? because if they go forward they would fall inside the boat.
My pregnant wife asked me if I ever worried it would be too hot for the baby inside her… I said, “Nah, it’s probably womb temperature.”
My pregnant wife asked me if I ever worried it would be too hot for the baby inside her. I said, “Nah, it’s probably womb temperature.”
New study shows bodies found from the Bermuda Triangle all died from heat exhaustion... ...everyone knows its 180 degrees inside a triangle, I don't know why people even bother traveling through it.
What's worse than locking your keys in you car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and ask for a coathanger
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring The doctor says I’m ok, but I feel like I dyed a little inside
Since COVID-19 took over, I don’t understand the humor in this subreddit. I guess it’s because every joke is an Inside Joke now!
I haven't understood a single joke since this quarantine started. They must all be inside jokes.
My Dad has been admitted to hospital with 3 horses living inside him... Doctors have described his condition as "stable".
Apparently the CDC is even limiting JOKES now? The CDC put out humor guidelines today asking Americans to limit themselves to only telling inside jokes
I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. She asked how warm? I said lukewarm
As the coffin was lowered into the ground at a traffic warden’s funeral, a voice from inside yelled: “I’m not dead! I’m not dead!” To which the vicar shouted back: “Sorry, the paperwork has already been done.”
My friend keeps telling me to cheer up these days. He says it could be a lot worse, I could be trapped inside an underground hole filled with water. I know he means well.
My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly inside the house
I told her it was because I felt like someone was listening to us.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins I was about to run straight inside to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden
Women are like swimming pools. They cost a lot of money to maintain, considering the amount of time you spend inside them.
What did the burglar say after detonating a bomb inside Ft. Knox? Edit: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!
I have this weird ability of guessing what is inside a wrapped present. You can say ....it’s a gift.
I was watering the plants when my wife said "Can you come inside and unlock your phone after you're done watering the plants? There's something I need to see." I have been watering the plants for the last four days.
After Generation Z, the next generation should be called generation AA It would fit even better because they will be the generation to grow up with batteries inside everything.
It doesn't matter if you're black, white, old, young, tall, short or even if you're from another country. It's what's INSIDE that counts! I love you refrigerator!
Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. She asked how warm is it inside. I replied Lukewarm.
I found my first grey pubic hair today. It wouldn't have bothered me but it was inside my Big Mac.
Starting this Thursday, some movie theaters will not allow large bags inside the theater But thank God I have a few twix up my sleeve
Today I Failed my Biology Test.
One of the questions asked. “What are normally found inside cells?”
Apparently, ‘Black People’ was not the correct answer.
If I had a penny for every time a girl asked me out..
I’d have 5 cents.
She said if I came back inside her house a sixth time she would call the cops.
What is it called when too many people pass gas inside of a mine? An excess stench hole crisis.
I have come to the realization that I am, in fact, a man trapped inside a woman's body… In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have put the lube next to the glue…
I had a happy childhood my Dad would put me inside a tire and roll me down a hill, they were Goodyears.