My friend really changed when she became a vegetarian...
it's like I've never seen herbivore.
edit: I think I summoned the pun cult.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails?
Edit: This is not a political statement. I do not have an agenda. This is a bad pun for you guys to enjoy. Wake up sheeple!
So there's a fly...
and a gnat lands on its back.
The fly says, "is there a gnat on my back?"
The gnat says, "gnat at all."
The fly says, "that's the worst pun I've ever heard."
The gnat goes, "what do you expect, I just made it up on the fly!"
Awful pun I came up with whilst drunk last night.
Who is the Australian Frankesntein's favourite singer?
A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet, and told he would not be released until he made up a pun about the situation. He immediately shouted, "Oh, pun the door"
Smaller babies are always delivered by stork...
but the heavier ones need to be delivered by **crane**.
Edit: Heh, didn't expect a terrible pun to be my most upvoted post.
A pun loving old man forgot to order his tombstone before he passed away This was a grave mistake
People often ask why I’m so good at Dad jokes and it’s simple. I take an ordinarily terrible pun and take it even father.
A man enters a pun contest in a local paper... He loses. So the next year, he enters 2 puns, doubling his chances. He still loses. So the third year, determined to win, he enters 10 puns. He waits, hoping at least one of his puns will win, but no pun in 10 did.
What's the difference between a pun and a dad joke? A pun can make you groan, but a dad joke goes even father.
So I sent my friend 10 puns hoping that at least one of them would get a laugh out of him. No pun in ten did.
A man enters a pun contest He sent in ten puns, hoping at least one would win, but sadly, no pun in ten did.
I submitted 10 puns to a local newspaper, hoping one would make it in. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
A man sent ten puns to his friends, hoping at least one would make them laugh No pun in ten did.
What's better than a rose on your piano?
Tulips on your organ
EDIT: This blew up. (No pun intended)
A man sends 10 puns to a pun contest in hopes that at least one of them would be selected as the winning entry No pun in ten did.
I was going to make a joke about that bus...
I was going to make a joke about that bus that rolled over and killed the driver and 9 passengers...
But there's no pun in ten dead.
What kind of doctors have the shortest temper?
Paedatricians - because they have little patients.
Hurhur. Thought of this myself while attempting to pun on patience/patients.
I gave my brother ten puns to make him laugh. But they couldn't make him laugh, no pun in ten did.
I sent 10 puns to the world best pun contest...
...hoping at least one of them would win.
Well,no pun in-ten-did.
I made a program to generate puns, but I stored them in the wrong type of variable No pun int. Ended
Where do Baby jokes come from? A dad joke and a yo momma walk into a bar. They meet, knock knock, and put little pun in the oven.
I like to write PUN on a sheet of paper and then rip it in half because... My puns are tearable.
I got punched twice for making a dadjoke.
Once in India, another in Pakistan.
It was Pun Jab.
maybe a better pun next time..
### I ordered a pair of sneakers from an online shopping site and found it to be defective.
Is that an e-shoe?
I love reading the local newspaper. Just last week, they had a pun contest and I submitted 10 jokes, hoping that at least one of them would win. However, no pun in ten did.
Today my culinary teacher challenged us to make a food pun She’s going to have a rutebega’ning when we tell her challenging kids isn’t kosher.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed? (BPI)
Because they're never ***right.***
\- brought to you by the Bad Pun Initiative (BPI)
What was Tom Cruises first marriage called?
The Manchild vs. Kidman
Please go easy, I know it’s not a very current topic but I just came up with the pun on this wonderful actresses name.
I submitted ten puns to r/Jokes, hoping one would make it to the front page. But no pun in ten did
Honestly, if I had to offer you lot money for every bread joke.. Y'all would have a pun per nickel.
(So i like to ask for pun topics) topic was “road trip”: “there was an accident on the A5 causing a huge acid spill” It made everyone On the freeway take a massive road trip
A pun walks into a bar.
A pun walks into a bar and ten people died on the spot.
Pun in, ten dead.
Reporter: “Sir, did you mean to come up with the, now famous, ‘no pun in ten did’ joke?” “Nope, unintended.”
I have an online friend who likes wordplay as much as I do. We've never met in person, but we like to exchange groan-inducing jokes by Email. We're pun pals.
A Guinness world record judge was fired for obsessing over pun world records He would go on to describe the firing as the worlds biggest mistake
What do you call a South Asian who likes both men and women and have an overly fondness for wordplay? A Pun Jar Bi.
So a guy gave his friend 10 puns hoping that one would make him laugh Sadly no pun in ten did