Went to Jail for the first time and found out that what they say about dropping the soap is just a myth I held on to that soap for dear life and it turns out they rape you anyway
Alabama has decided to force women to carry babies conceived by rape and incest, to term. Because if they didn't, the state's population would die out pretty quickly.
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to take part in a rape fantasy
She screamed NO!!
I said thats the spirit
Last night I asked my wife if she would like to roleplay rape
"No", she replied.
"That's the spirit"
I asked a group of women if they found rape jokes funny. They all said "no!" But deep down I knew they really meant "yes."
I'm not proud of it but I used the date rape drug last night... All it did was make me tired. I wasn't able to get any of my raping done.
A man comes home to his wife... Upon entering their home he promtly asks her, "hey honey, do you want to play the rape game tonight?", a flat and unenthusiastic "no" is her response, to which he replies excitedly "good sport"
Husband: “Honey, want to do some rape role play tonight?”
Husband *(unzips)* “That’s the spirit!”
Making jokes about rape is hard... because it's such a touchy subject and you always have to force it
Since were storming Area 51, why not storm the Vatican... By your logic they can’t rape all of us.
I said to my girlfriend, "Do you want to experiment with a role-play rape fantasy?"
She said, "**NO!**"
I said, "*That's the spirit!*" —Jimmy Carr
So I tried using one of those date rape drugs the other night... It turns out its really hard to rape a girl when you're drooling on the floor the room is spinning.
Maybe not a joke as much as a cute misunderstanding but...
I cracked open a rape kit last weekend. I had never seen one before.
Anyway, I obviously have been operating under a huge misconception. I laughed so hard, she got away.
Someone said "you think you're funny, try and make prison rape funny." I replied "well, I've been sent to jail a few times and each time I've been raped. I don't hold it against him, my brother just takes monopoly very seriously."
For the first time in centuries the Pope is not busy. With all the churches closed there haven't been any rape allegations today.
I tried to include a rape joke in my new novel, but the publisher said no. They wouldn't let me put it in.
Once I was in a police line up for a rape case, I never felt more out of place, there was 6 of us, me and ... ...5 innocent men.
Grandpa story from WW2
A: Grandpa, tell me about WW2.
B: It was tough, SS captured us and gave us 2 choices. Rape or death.
A: What did they do to you?
B: They killed me.
You go to therapy after rape , you go home feeling better and then, You realise he’s therapist
Hey, does anyone want to come over and help me rape all the leaves?!?!
God damn autocorrect!!!
Republican Steve King: if not for incest and rape ‘would there be any population left?’ Do you want to share something with us?
I stopped a rape from happening today.
My friend: wow! How did you do it?
Me: with all of my willpower.
Our southern neighbors are crude barbarians who rape and murder and destroy and we need a wall to keep them out. Thank God we live in Canada.
When I first went to prison... I was really nervous about dropping the soap, which was pretty silly in retrospect, turns out they just rape you anyways.
Families in Alabama recognize the controversy over abortion, sure, rape victims may not get the help they need, but without incest, there wouldn't be any families in the first place.
Alabama just passed a law banning abortion even in cases of rape and incest Without rape or incest, would Alabama even exist?
A blonde prostitute calls the police to report that she'd been raped...
"When did it happen?" the cop asks.
"Five days ago," the blonde says.
"Five days!" the cop says. "Why did you wait so long to call us!?"
"Well, I didn't know it was rape until the check bounced!"
A leading sexologist was once asked if it was possible to rape someone while running " No, a woman with her skirt up can run faster than a man with his pants down" .
Dad: Hello son, can you come over and help me rape these leaves?
Dad: Oh my god! Damn autocorrect. My bad!
Dad: I meant *girls.
Racy jokes are like gang rape Most people enjoy it but there’s always that one person who doesn’t
Its fine to tell someone a rape joke
...As long as they consent to it
And thats my rape joke, thank you.
Rape jokes are never funny........ I repeat rape jokes are never funny, and I say this as someone who has experienced rape. But after therapy and counseling, I'm proud to say I haven't raped anyone in months.
You know what's better than a rape whistle?
A rape knife or a rape gun. All's I'm saying is don't bring a whistle to a rape fight.
credit to comedian Doug Mellard
Last night I was with a chick, and she said “No, don’t stop!” The next morning I got hit with a rape charge. That’s when I knew I was terrible at punctuation.
I'm going over to give a large donation to rape victims...
... and I won't take no for an answer.