Rape Jokes

Contents

Funniest Rape Jokes

Went to Jail for the first time and found out that what they say about dropping the soap is just a myth I held on to that soap for dear life and it turns out they rape you anyway

Funny Rape Jokes

Alabama has decided to force women to carry babies conceived by rape and incest, to term. Because if they didn't, the state's population would die out pretty quickly.

I called the rape advice hotline today Apparently it's only for victims

Are rape jokes funny in this subreddit? I wouldn't want to do anything if you guys said NO.

I asked my wife if she was up for a game of rape She said no


I said that's the spirit

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to take part in a rape fantasy She screamed NO!!

I said thats the spirit

Last night I asked my wife if she would like to roleplay rape "No", she replied.
"That's the spirit"

Rape in an elevator is wrong.... on so many levels

I don't like rape jokes... they always feel forced.

I never liked rape jokes It always feels like they're forced upon you.

I spent too much time on the punchline to my rape joke and now it just feels forced

I asked a group of women if they found rape jokes funny. They all said "no!" But deep down I knew they really meant "yes."

I'm not proud of it but I used the date rape drug last night... All it did was make me tired. I wasn't able to get any of my raping done.

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.

A man comes home to his wife... Upon entering their home he promtly asks her, "hey honey, do you want to play the rape game tonight?", a flat and unenthusiastic "no" is her response, to which he replies excitedly "good sport"

What stops rape every single time? Consent

I called the rape advice hotline the other day... Turns out, it was meant for victims

Rape fantasy Guy: "Wanna do a rape fantasy?"

Woman: "No!"

Guy: "That's the spirit"

Called the rape advice hotline last night.. Apparently it's only for victims.

Today I called the rape help line... But apparently it's just meant for the victims.

I called a rape advice hotline... Turns out they only help victim.

Husband: “Honey, want to do some rape role play tonight?” Wife: **NO!!**

Husband *(unzips)* “That’s the spirit!”

You know why I no longer tell prison rape jokes? Because someone usually gets butt hurt.

Making jokes about rape is hard... because it's such a touchy subject and you always have to force it

Since were storming Area 51, why not storm the Vatican... By your logic they can’t rape all of us.

I prevented a rape today. I convinced her.

"Wanna play the Rape Game?" "No"

"That's the spirit"

I said to my girlfriend, "Do you want to experiment with a role-play rape fantasy?" She said, "**NO!**"

I said, "*That's the spirit!*" —Jimmy Carr

So I tried using one of those date rape drugs the other night... It turns out its really hard to rape a girl when you're drooling on the floor the room is spinning.

I got accused of date rape once in college, but that's ridiculous. It wasn't a date.

I like my rape jokes how I like my rape victims... Not taken seriously.

Maybe not a joke as much as a cute misunderstanding but... I cracked open a rape kit last weekend. I had never seen one before.

Anyway, I obviously have been operating under a huge misconception. I laughed so hard, she got away.

What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle? Optimistic

Someone said "you think you're funny, try and make prison rape funny." I replied "well, I've been sent to jail a few times and each time I've been raped. I don't hold it against him, my brother just takes monopoly very seriously."

Was arrested after calling the rape advice hotline Apparently it’s for victims

I called the rape support hotline last night. Apparently it is only for victims.

I called a rape advice line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.

What do you call an obese woman with a rape whistle? Optimistic.

Instead of storming Area-51, we should storm Vatican They can’t rape us all

Popular Topics

New Rape Jokes

For the first time in centuries the Pope is not busy. With all the churches closed there haven't been any rape allegations today.

I tried to include a rape joke in my new novel, but the publisher said no. They wouldn't let me put it in.

I was gonna make a rape joke but wasn't sure y'all would consent.

I asked my wife if she wants to play the rape game My wife: no

Me: Perfect

Why is it impossible to rape a camel? They humpback

Once I was in a police line up for a rape case, I never felt more out of place, there was 6 of us, me and ... ...5 innocent men.

Rape jokes are funny! I don't know, some of them are a bit forced.

Grandpa story from WW2 A: Grandpa, tell me about WW2.

B: It was tough, SS captured us and gave us 2 choices. Rape or death.

A: What did they do to you?

B: They killed me.

You should never Joke about Rape It’s a Touchy subject.

You go to therapy after rape , you go home feeling better and then, You realise he’s therapist

Guys don’t listen to ear rape covers of songs You might get hearing aids

What do out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape

Hey, does anyone want to come over and help me rape all the leaves?!?! God damn autocorrect!!!

*Girls

Republican Steve King: if not for incest and rape ‘would there be any population left?’ Do you want to share something with us?

How do you prevent a rape ? Self-control.

I stopped a rape from happening today. My friend: wow! How did you do it?

Me: with all of my willpower.

Our southern neighbors are crude barbarians who rape and murder and destroy and we need a wall to keep them out. Thank God we live in Canada.

What makes 9 out of 10 people happy? Gang rape

Hey, do you want to play the rape game? "no"

That's the spirit!

I can understand why some people don’t like rape jokes They always feel forced

When I first went to prison... I was really nervous about dropping the soap, which was pretty silly in retrospect, turns out they just rape you anyways.

Families in Alabama recognize the controversy over abortion, sure, rape victims may not get the help they need, but without incest, there wouldn't be any families in the first place.

Alabama just passed a law banning abortion even in cases of rape and incest Without rape or incest, would Alabama even exist?

A blonde prostitute calls the police to report that she'd been raped... "When did it happen?" the cop asks.

"Five days ago," the blonde says.

"Five days!" the cop says. "Why did you wait so long to call us!?"

"Well, I didn't know it was rape until the check bounced!"

A leading sexologist was once asked if it was possible to rape someone while running " No, a woman with her skirt up can run faster than a man with his pants down" .

I would tell you a rape joke... But I don't want it to be *forced*

I am no 18 year old virgin anymore! Now I'm a 18 year old rape victim.

What’s the difference between Cardi B and Genghis Khan? Nothing. They both rape and pillage.

Dad: Hello son, can you come over and help me rape these leaves? Dad: Oh my god! Damn autocorrect. My bad!

Dad: I meant *girls.

Racy jokes are like gang rape Most people enjoy it but there’s always that one person who doesn’t

Its fine to tell someone a rape joke ...As long as they consent to it

And thats my rape joke, thank you.

Rape jokes are never funny........ I repeat rape jokes are never funny, and I say this as someone who has experienced rape. But after therapy and counseling, I'm proud to say I haven't raped anyone in months.

You know what's better than a rape whistle? A rape knife or a rape gun. All's I'm saying is don't bring a whistle to a rape fight.


credit to comedian Doug Mellard

Last night I was with a chick, and she said “No, don’t stop!” The next morning I got hit with a rape charge. That’s when I knew I was terrible at punctuation.

I called the rape advice hotline today... I had no idea it was for victims

What makes 9/10 people happy Gang rape

What do you call it when you open an unripened pistachio? Pistatutory rape

I'm going over to give a large donation to rape victims... ... and I won't take no for an answer.

​

(Stewart Francis)

You know what stops rape everytime? Consent. Works like a charm.

"Never, never, never give up." Thanks Winston Churchill. I now have 8 counts of rape and battery.

Popular Topics

Long Rape Jokes

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight
and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.


SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?

A nun with her dress up can run faster
than man with his pants down.

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It was getting dark and they were still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?

A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

Two nuns.....

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?

A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.

Nun joke we used to tell back when I was in catholic school

Back in the Mexican revolution a bunch of armed men enter a convent and start rounding up all of the nuns in the cafeteria. The leader of the bandits starts yelling:

"We are part of the Pancho Villa army and it is our right to take what we want! We want all of your food and supplies!"

Sister Mary yells from the back: Not the chickens, please, not the chickens!

"I said ALL of your food and supplies!" replied the bandit. "Plus, we are going to rape everyone of you!"

"Not Superior Sister Prudence, please! She's 80 years old!" yelled sister Mary again.

Before the bandit could say anything there was a commotion in the back. It was Superior Sister Prudence making her way to the front yelling: "He said EVERYONE!".

When I get a few beers in me I tell a lot of these jokes very fast without pausing for laughter or criticism

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? The color

What did Jane say to Tarzan when the elephants were coming? The elephants are coming

What did Tarzan say to Jane when the Elephants were coming? The Plums are coming (He was color blind)

How do you kill a Blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a purple elephant? no, that's a plum

How do you kill a red elephant? Hold it's Trunk until it turns blue and shoot it with the blue elephant gun.

How many elephants can you fit into a nissan sentra? 5, 2 in the front three in the back.

How can you tell there's an elephant in the fridge? His footprints are in the peanut butter

How can you tell when there are two elephants in your fridge? they giggle when the light goes off

How can you tell when there are three elephants in your fridge? you can't close the door so easily.

How can you tell when there are four elephants in your fridge? I don't know

How can you tell when there are five elephants in your fridge? There's an empty nissan sentra parked outside.

Why do elephants wear springs on their feet? So they can jump in the trees and rape the monkeys.

What's the most terrifying noise a monkey can hear? Boing Boing..

... I sadly have way more of these.

Edit 1: no changes. Just wanted to thank everyone here for having the same weird sense of humor that made my family get me tested for learning disabilities.

A nun was out for a walk...

...when a black van pulls up beside her. A man jumps out and drags her into the van were he proceeds to rape her. When he's done he stands up beside her and asks:
- So what are you gonna tell your sisters when you get back?
- I will tell them the truth. That a horrible man attacked me and raped me twice.
- Twice? the man asks.
- Yes. the nun replies. If your not in a rush of course?

A Rapey looking man follows two Nuns...SFW

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM) ,

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL)

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM : So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical .

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical ! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL : The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me

SM : Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL : The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM : And?

SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me

SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL : The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL : Isn't it logical, Sister?

A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.

The Bear hunter

There was a guy and he was out in the woods hunting. He was walking through the bush and he spotted a bear, so he aimed at the bear - shot - walked over saw no blood no fur no bear! So then he feels a tap on his shoulder he turns around and it is the bear, "Did you just try to shoot me?"

"Well yeah"

"Well seeing as you tried to kill me I'm gonna have to rape you!"

So the bear does his business and leaves! The guy is really mad so he goes to the city, buys an even bigger gun and goes out looking for the bear. He sees it takes the shot - walks over no blood no fur no bear! Then he feels a tap on the shoulder it is the bear again!

"Did you just try and kill me again?"

"Yeah"

"Well now i have to rape you again!"

So the bear did his thing and left! The guy was really mad, went back to the city and found the biggest gun he could! He went back, found the bear took a shot - walked over no blood no fur no bear. The guy then feels a tap on the shoulder!

"You aren't in this for the hunting are you?"

Two nuns went to shop at the market. They were taking so long so one said

- Sister Mary it is getting dark and we are so far away from the convent.
- I know Sister Rose but there is a man following us.
- Oh! What does he want.
- To rape us.
- What can we do.
- Let's separate. You go left and I will go right.
- He followed Sister Rose.
- Sister Mary reached the convent and was worried.
- After an hour Sister Rose appeared.
- What happed?
- I started to run and so did he.
- And then?
- Ge caught up with me.
- Oh my God. And what did you do.
- I lifted up my dress.
- Sister! And what did he do.
- Dropped his pants.
- And then?
- Its obvious isn't it.
.
.
.
- A nun with her dress lifted up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

Best lines when dealing with telemarketers

Some of the better ones

* City Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em
* Mario's Pizzaria and Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, may I take your order?
* Roadkill Cafe, you kill it, we grill it
* Mort's Mortuary, you slice 'em, we ice 'em
* Bob's Back Alley Abortion Parlour, you rape 'em, we scrape 'em, no fetus can beat us

Anyone have more?

Two nuns sare coming back from the market late at night

Two nuns, Sister Dulce and Sister Andrea, are on their way back from the market one evening. It's already very late, and they have quite a distance left before reaching their convent. Suddenly, Sister Dulce grabs hold of Sister Andrea's arm.
"Is it just me," she asks, "or is that man following us?!"
Sister Andrea glances over her shoulder, then whispers back. "I think he might be, yes!"
"What do you think he wants?!"
"Isn't it obvious?" asks Sister Andrea. "He's going to rape us! What should we do?!"
"I know," replies Sister Dulce. "We'll split up. I'll take the left road to the convent, and you take the one on the right."
The nuns part ways, and a few minutes later, Sister Dulce arrives at the convent. She starts pacing in front of the door, worried that some terrible fate has befallen the other nun. Then, just as Sister Dulce is about to give up hope, she sees Sister Andrea running up the path.
"What happened?!" asks Sister Dulce.
"Well," replies Sister Andrea, "I started running, and the man started chasing me."
"Oh, no! Then what?!"
"He caught up to me."
Sister Dulce gasps. "What did you do?!"
"The only thing I could do," Sister Andrea answers. "I lifted up my dress."
"What did the man do?!"
"He dropped his pants."
Sister Dulce clutches her rosary, terrified of what she's about to hear next. "Then... then what happened?"
"Isn't it obvious?" asks Sister Andrea. "A nun with her dress up runs faster than a man with his pants down"

The two nuns

There are two nuns. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. But the man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split up. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the pair split up, with Sister Mathematical heading towards the convent and Sister Logical running away from it. Making a quick decision, the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. But a few short minutes later, Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.....

Two nuns are walking down a dark alley one night.

Two men suddenly jump out of the shadows and start to rape them. The first nun looks up toward heaven and says, "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they are doing."

The second nun looks up and says,
"This one does!"

A married couple was lying in bed when suddenly an intruder enters.

A married couple was lying in bed one night when suddenly an intruder breaks in.

He ties the couple up. He begins to look at the couple. First staring at the husband then staring at the wife. He walks over to the wife, leans his head close to hers, pulls back then walks into the bathroom.

While in the bathroom, the husband looks to his wife. “Sweety, this man looks very rough, he is going to rape you, the only way to survive is to not fight him. I love you, be strong.”

The wife looks to her husband and says”When he leaned in he said he just broke out of prison and thought my husband was cute and asked if we had any Vaseline, I told him it was in the bathroom, I love you, be strong.”

An american, a german and a russian guy crashland in a jungle...

...after some days of pointless wanderling they finally meet the fearsome natives of that place. Their hopes of survival are shattered, as the chief of the tribe proclaims: "We will kill you all in a terrible and painful way." They start to plead for their lifes and finally the chief gives in. He offers them a challenge: "If you succed in our 3 holy tasks, we will let you live. First: Drink 2 litres of our strongest moonshine. Second: Go to the dark cave and kill the bloodthirsty bear living there. And third: Sneak into the camp of our rival tribe and rape their chieftains' daughter." Desperately the 3 men agree.

The American starts. He manages to drink half a litre of moonshines, then passes out, so they kill him. Second goes the German. Being an experienced drinker he manages to trink 1 1/2 litres of the evil stuff. Just as he goes for the rest he blacks out and dies of alcohol poisoning. Third goes the russian. After downing the 2 litre of moonshine in one gulp he asks for more. Having finished another litre he proceeds to waddle to the cave. The natives are mightyly impressed as he enters the cave fearlessly. After some time there are some terrible fighting noises to be heard. There are excruciating screams and moans, from man and bear alike. This goes on for some time. Suddenly there is a loud whimpering from the bear which slowly fades after some time. After that the russian is leaving the cave. His shirt is torn, his back full of bloody scratches, otherwise he seems okay. The natives and their chief watch him in awe. Finally he straightens his back, looks the chief directly in the eye and asks: "Aaah, so, that would be that. Now where can I find this chieftains' daughter, I am supposed to kill?"

A German, a French and an English survives a plane crash at Pacific...

Before they figure out what to do, a local tribe captures and bring them to their village. As they enter to the village , a mighty chieftain appears. He goes next to the German and asks : “ Death?! or Onga-Bonga?!”

German answers with fear and hesitation “Onga-Bonga” without knowing meaning of it. The chieftain turns to his people and shouts “Onga-Bonga!!”. Immediately warriors untie the German and rape him at spot.

Next, Chieftain comes next to French and asks “ Death?! or Onga-Bonga?!” . Ofcourse the French doesn’t want to die and answers “Onga-Bonga”. Again the Chieftain turns to his people and shouts “Onga-Bonga!!” Same happens to the French..

Lastly, Chieftain approaches to the English and asks “Death?! Or Onga-Bonga?!”. English waits a second, looks at the French and German with pity, raises his chin and shouts with pride : “ Death!!”

Chieftain turns to his people and shouts “Death!!! By Onga-Bonga!!”

Two Nuns

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It’s logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It’s not working.
SL: Of course it’s not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I’ll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn’t follow us both, so he followed me.
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my habit (dress) up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn’t it logical, Sister?
A nun with her habit up can run faster than man with his pants down.

**EDIT:**Changed the word "dress" to "habit."

Logical nun!

There are two nuns. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

Latvian Joke

Man sits in broken cottage with daughter. Man is cold and hungry. Man not have potato for days.
"Knock, knock" is heard at door.
"Who there is" man say.
"Politburo"
"Politburo who" say man.
Politburo burst in cottage rape daughter. Man now cold, hungry and sad.

2 guys..

Are lost and in the woods, when they get captured by indians. The indian chief tells the first man "Either we kill you or we give you bunga bunga." Well the first guy doesnt want to die, so he decides bunga bunga. The chief yells "Yeah!!!Bunga bunga!!", and the whole tribe proceeds to rape the man for two hours, leaving him beaten and near death. The chief then asks the second guy the same question. Well he decides he sure doesn't want bunga bunga, so he tells the chief they can kill him. The chief looks around and yells "Yeah!!! Death by bunga bunga!!!!!"

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