My girlfriend's parents are very religious
The first time I went to stay with her at her parents' house her dad wouldn't let us sleep together.
Which is a shame because he is very attractive.
To most religious people, the holy books are like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree"
My girlfriend and I broke up because of a difference in religious beliefs. She didn't believe I was God.
What do you call a religious song from Helsinki that describes the end of a Mortal Kombat match? A Finnish Hymn
I heard my son's girlfriend screaming "Oh God!" in his bedroom upstairs ... Im so glad he found a good religious girl.
A religious traitor
Son: Dad, what's a religious traitor?
Father: A person who leaves our church and joins another.
Son: And what is a person who leaves another church and joins ours?
Father: A convert, son, a blessed convert.
I didn't realize how religious the Japanese are. Always asking me if I have a pray station at home.
Science and Religion have to coexist because science can make a bomb, But you do need a religious person to set it off.
My girlfriend’s parents are very religious The first time I came to her house, her father insisted that we could not sleep together. It was a shame, he was very attractive.
My girlfriends father is very religious and says we can't sleep together. Which is really unfortunate because he is extremely good looking.
How do you broach the sensitive religious topic about the possibility a human soul might not actually exist? Gingerly.
It's a funny thing, when you talk to God, you're religious but when he talks to you, you're a psycopath
I went on vacation with my girlfriends family - her dad is really religious and said we could not sleep together Which is a shame cuz he's a really attractive man
My girlfriend's father is pretty religious and said we couldn't make love... which is rather disappointing because he's extremely handsome.
I tried to start a religious social media page called Faithbook... ...but it was deemed offensive by the American Lisp Association.
If Lars Ulrich of Metallica provided religious support to Kermit and his friends He'd be a pastor of muppets
Picture this: a trumpet-like instrument made of ram’s horn that we blow at times of religious observance to commemorate our ancestors Are you with me shofar?
Which type of religious people can read the fastest? Muslims. They can go through 94 stories in less than a second, but only when they're on a plane.
What’s something that you can say during a T-Rex feeding show and when you go on a hike with your religious father? “Where’s the goat?”
Valentine’s Day is about to become a religious holiday because there will be screaming, “Oh God! Oh God!" everywhere all night.
What do a religious transman and Pinocchio have in common? Every night they pray "Please God, I want to be a real boy."
Did you hear about Popeye's epiphany? He had a religious experience on the way to mount Olive.
When I was young I used to pray for a bicycle I wouldn’t get my hopes up ... you religious types
Why are priests always doing service in the community? Because of their religious convictions
I love the feeling of getting a silver medal, especially after I've been beaten by a religious woman. It's second to nun.
I’d say I’m religious out of fear... ...it’s like when your girlfriend wants you to tell her what’s on your mind and you can’t out of fear of her getting upset and crying.
Did you know that there is a toll road being used as a religious building? After the incident with Santino, it’s the holiest place in world!
Religious wars to an atheist's standpoint are just people fighting over who has the better imaginary friend
Religious Trigger Warning! Priest: "Your honor, I would just like to state for the record, that I self identified as an 11 year old girl at the time, so not only was this relationship legal, it was also completely heterosexual."
Why do surgeons have a God complex Because religious people always thank them after operations go well
SEGA has decided to release a game about a guy that won't let other people queue for religious events. Instead he always runs really fast to the front. Sonic the hajj-hog.
Many dinosaurs were very religious In fact, prior to the meteor strike that killed them off, the most devout dinos were taken to Heaven. It was The Velocirapture.
A priest, a rabbi and an imam sit down for breakfast at Denny’s where they each order a grand slam and a cup of coffee.
They set aside their religious difference and enjoy a meal over the hearth of American comfort food.
It’s just delightful.