Sick Jokes

Contents

Funniest Sick Jokes

Funny Sick Jokes

I'm an American, and I'm sick of people saying, “America is the stupidest country in the world.” Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

I'm sick of people comparing Trump to Hitler. Hitler wrote his own book.

My girlfriend told me she's sick of me pretending to be a detective. Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. I think we should split up."

Me: "Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."

Im sick and tired of people calling America the stupidest country in the world Personally I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world

My girlfriend said she was sick of me pretending to be a detective... ...and that "we should split up"

"Good idea", I said, "that way we can cover more ground"

My wife asked me: "Shall we go bowling or stay cozy home." I replied: " I am sick of putting my fingers in holes that everyone has touched with their sweaty hands. Let's go bowling!"

GF: I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. We should split up ME: Good idea. We can cover more ground that way.

My girlfriend is sick of me pretending that I'm a transformer. Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a transformer. I'm leaving you."


Me: "No baby wait, I can change..."

I’m sick of my wife blowing everything out of proportion. She’s single handedly ruining my balloon animal business.

I'm sick of tired of people soaking my floor with their wet umbrellas when they come over to visit. I think it's time to make a stand.

I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I killed a cyclist.

I'm American, and I'm sick of hearing that America is the stupidest country in the world. Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world...

I recently got sick at the airport, my doctor says it's a terminal illness.

I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.

I'm sick to death of cocaine dealers... always sticking their business in other people's noses.

My Grandfather warned people the Titanic would sink No one listened.

​

But he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre

I'll never forget what my grandad told me before he kicked the bucket Daniel I'm sick of this bucket

How do you treat a sick chemist? If you can't curium and you can't helium, you might as well barium.

My friend is pretty sick and tired of PC culture I tried to console him but he didn't want his hand held

I am sick and tired of millenials and their entitled attitude. Always walking around like they rent the place.

Girlfriend Detective Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. I think we should split up."

Me: "Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."

Her: I want to break up. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes. Him: Ok. And for the main course?

What do you do with sick chemists? If you can't helium or curium, you barium.

What is the difference between unlawful and illegal? Unlawful = Against the law

Illegal = A sick bird

I felt kinda sick at the airport earlier... It could be a terminal illness.

Have you heard the one about the sick chemist? If you can't helium and you can't curium, you'll probably have to barium.

Remember when radical extremists were just kids pulling sick stunts off on their skateboards? Gnarly.

Where do sick boats go? ........to the dock!!

HAHHAHHAHAHHA

"I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time." Said the Malaysian shark.

Marriage Counseling Therapist: So you're considering ending the marriage?

Wife: I am sick of all the Star Wars puns.

Husband: Divorce is strong with this one.

I’m sick and tired of these millennial weathermen... In my day, only the raining champion got an award, but nowadays everyone wants a precipitation trophy.

My wife left me According to her, she is sick of me talking behind her back and pushing her around.

In my defence, she's in a wheelchair.

How many Skateboarders does it ake to change a lightbulb? Three.
One to do it,
One to film it,
and one more to say...
"damn that was sick man!"

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert? He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

Where Do Boats Go When They Are Sick The Doc

I had to disable the Carbon Monoxide detector in my house the constant beeping was making me feel sick and dizzy and giving me a headache.

Most people think I'm sick and twisted... But I'm not! I have the heart of a little girl.

In a jar.

On my desk.

I just got my wife a get better card. She isn't sick but I think she could get better.

The wife told me she's sick of me pushing her around and talking behind her back. I said "Well you are in a wheelchair"

New Sick Jokes

My wife was sick to the stomach when I told her I put ginger in the curry She really loved that cat

What do you call a vegetable with sick beats? A Rap Scallion

r/Wuhan_flu has been quarantined. Is this some kind of sick joke...?

Silly joke from 5yo neighbor girl: "What did the sick cook make for lunch?" Mac and sneeze.

What happens when a sick person from China gets bitten by a tick? A corona gets its Lyme

What do you do with a sick chemist? You have to curium and helium. If you can't, you have to barium.

What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium.

Or curium.

You just gotta barium.

Me and my sisters are baking bread for our sick grandmother. I’m the one responsible for making sure the bread rises but hey, it’s the yeast I can do.

What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't curium nor helium, then you'll need to barium

What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t curium or helium, then you’ll have to barium.

Different races need to be segregated. I'm so sick of people combining biking, swimming and running and calling it one single race. "iTs A tRiAtHaLOn" shut up lmfao. Those are 3 different events, and should be treated as such.

A man smokes a pack a day for 30 years His wife, sick of it: do you realize that if you had saved all this cigaret money you could have bought a ferrari by now ?

The man answers: well where's your ferrari ?

You ever see those patients smoking outside a hospital? Taking a break from being sick

I so sick of russian dolls they are full of themselves

I Got my Girlfriend a "Get Better Soon" Card. She's not sick or anything but she could definitely get better.

[At a restaurant] Her: It’s not working out between us. For starters, I’m sick of your awful jokes. Me: Ok. And for the main course?

“Hi Boss, I’m not coming in today, I’m sick in bed.” “Do you have the flu?”

“No, I slept with my sister.”

If you get sick before boarding a plane... ...does that mean you have a terminal illness?

I once knew an old German soldier who took to caring for sick animals when he retired from the armed forces. I suppose you could say he was a Veteran Aryan.

[At a restaurant] Her: It’s not working out between us. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes. Me: Oh, ok. And for the main course?

I’m getting so sick of millennials and their attitudes. Always walking around like they rent the place.

What is it called when a sick wookie loses all its hair? Wookemia

I got sick in the airport It was a terminal illness.

I’m honestly sick and tired of people asking me what would i be doing in 139 days like as if I have 2020 vision.

I got my girlfriend a get better soon card.... She's not sick or anything, I just think she could be better.

I felt pretty sick after drinking milk with cream. My stomach was churning for a while, but now I’m finally feeling butter.

i have a 13 year kid body and his family are worried sick about him

Will people please stop calling me a hypochondriac!? I'm sick of it.

Why did Trump push for Congress to change the national bird after seeing one get sick in a zoo? He hates ill eagles.

I heard a rumour there is a remake of Brokeback mountain in the works starring women On the one hand im sick of all these remakes, on the other hand...
Will be lotion.

What did the sick pony say before giving a speech? Sorry, I'm a little hoarse.

What did the sick trebuchet say? I am about to throw up




*if you don't know what a trebuchet is then google it

I’m so sick and tired of my friends who can not handle their alcohol. Last night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.

So my ex wife was sick in the hospital and I decide to visit her. She was complaining that her body temperature has dropped below 30. So I told her not to worry since it's a standard body temperature for snakes.

GF: I'm sick of you pretending you're a Detective. I think we should split up. Me:

Good idea, we can cover more ground that way.

My friend got sick and asked me to call him an ambulance Apparently yelling at him “you’re an ambulance!” is not sufficient.

I'm so sick of hearing necrophelia jokes They've all been done to death.

What do you do with a sick chemist First you try and helium and if that doesn't work then you barium

Insomniacs are sick human beings... ...how do they even sleep at night?

I don't exercise when I'm sick My nose does the running for me

Long Sick Jokes

One day, Albert Einstein was on his way to a science convention for a speech.

On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"

The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."

"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"

So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.

But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.

The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :

"Sir, your question is so easy that I'm going to let my driver explain it to you."

An easy question to Albert Einstein!

One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:


"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"


The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."


"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"


So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.


But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.


The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :


"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."

One day, Albert Einstein had to speak at an important science conference.

On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:
 

"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"


The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."
 

"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"
 

So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
 

But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
 

The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :


 "Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."

Adultery Code

There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen".

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen."

The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about. Your wife fell three times this week."

God notices heaven is getting a bit crowded

So he sits down with St Peter and says
“Look, too many people are getting in. As of tomorrow at 12pm, no one is getting in unless they’ve had a really bad day”

Peter nods, and the next day he sits down at the pearly gates when a man arrives

“Hi sir, welcome to heaven, hey new rules... you’re not allowed in unless you’ve had like a really bad day”

The man doesn’t pause before screaming:
“Bad day? A bad day! Let me tell you about my day. I have suspected my wife of cheating on me for a year now and I decided to come home at lunch and catch her in the act. So I go up to my apartment on the 10th floor and I nearly bust straight in. Anyway she’s lying on the couch, naked and screaming at me! I can’t find the guy anywhere, until I go outside on the balcony and there’s this guy, naked, holding on to the balcony floor. And he’s screaming at me too! Well next thing I go into this rage... I just stomp on his hands and he falls the ten storeys. But at the bottom these branches break his fall, and he starts to get up! He’s alive! So I grab the nearest thing, our fridge, and I haul it out onto the edge of the balcony and lever t over the railing, sending it right at him. I don’t know what happened next though cause I gave myself a heart attack while doing it!”

Peter nods “wow yeah that is rough. In ya come”. The next guy in line walks up, naked

“Hey so yeah, new rules, you have to have had a bad day to get in”

“Well let me tell ya. I was home sick from work and I just got out of the shower. Anyway I walked out onto my balcony of my fifteen floor apartment to get some fresh air. A gust of wind whipped my towel off and I reached out to grab it... but I ended up falling over the edge! Luckily I managed to turn mid-air and grab onto this balcony. So I am hanging there, screaming for someone to help me when this god damn mad man comes running out and starts stamping on my fingers! I then fall ten storeys, but I’m saved! All these branches in these trees at the bottom slowly break my fall. I was just getting my bearings when I look up and a fridge is flying at my face”

Peter nods... perplexed... “wow. Yeah. Okay. That sounds rough, in ya go... next”

This other guy walks up, and Peter says “same as the last two, you’ve had to have had a bad day to get in”

The guy looks at him and goes
“Okay. So imagine this. You’re naked inside a fridge”

One day, Einstein has to give a conference to all the top scientists in the world...

One day, Einstein has to give a conference to all the top scientists in the world.

On the way there, he tells his driver, that looks a bit like him, "I'm sick of all these conferences, I always say the same things over and over!"

The drivers agrees, "You're right, as your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."

"That's a great idea!" says Einstein "Lets switch places then!"

So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein, goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.

But in the crowd, there was one scientist who wanted to impress everyone and thought of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he wouldn't be able to respond.

So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question.

The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.

The driver looks at him, dead in the eyes and says : "Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."

Divorce

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "They're not getting divorced if I have anything to do about it," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife and says, "Okay, they're coming for Thanksgiving...now what do we tell them for Christmas?"

A man is explaining to his coworker that he never realized how much his wife loved him until he was home sick from work the previous day.

“Really?” the coworker asks. “What showed you she really loved you?”

“She was just really excited to have me around,” the man replied. “Like when the mailman and FedEx guy came to the door she shouted excitedly, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”

A New Yorker, a Nebraskan, a Georgian, and a Floridian were driving to Vegas...

After a few hours in the car, the Nebraskan suddenly rolls down his window, opens his bag, and starts chucking corn out the window.

"What are you doing that for?", the others exclaim.

"Back in Nebraska, everywhere I look I see corn. I'm going on vacation and I don't want to see any corn for a couple weeks."

The Georgian replies, "you know what? You're right; I'm sick of seeing peaches all over Georgia. I don't know why I brought them with me." He opens his window and dumps his bag of peaches out.

The Floridian, feeling inspired, opens the door and kicks the New Yorker out.

Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced...

“My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!”

“What makes you say that?” the bartender inquired.

“Last week,” Bill explained, “I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman or mailman came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms and hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”

An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman are working on a building site...

High above the city, they sit together, eating their lunch as they do every lunchtime.
The Englishman, Arthur, opens his lunchbox and picks out his sandwiches.

"I say! roast beef sandwiches. I'm sick of roast beef sandwiches! If I've got roast beef sandwiches tomorrow, I shall throw myself off this building!"

Andrew, the Scot, opens his sandwiches, "Ach! haggis sandwiches! I'm sick of haggis sandwiches! If I get haggis sandwiches tomorrow, I shall throw myself off this building!"

Paddy likewise opens his sandwiches, "Feck! potato sandwiches! I'm sick of potato sandwiches! If I get potato sandwiches tomorrow, I shall throw myself off this building!"

the next days comes and, what do you know. Arthur has roast beef again. Without a word, he jumps from the 20th floor. Likewise, Andrew has haggis. Without so much as a whisper, he swan-dives the full 20 floors.
Mournfully, Paddy eyes his potato sandwiches. With a final salute to the world, he too jumps off. All three men quite dead.

At the funeral the tearful wife of the Englishman says, "All Arthur had to do was tell me he didn't like roast beef. I'd have made him another filling!"

The wife of the Scotsman sniffs, "I loved my Andrew! I would have made him any sandwich he'd asked for, if he'd just said something!"

The wife of the Irishman is quite unmoved, "The fecking idiot made his own sandwiches!"

A doctor and a lawyer

During a party, a doctor is telling a lawyer that he is sick of his friends asking him for free medical advice. The lawyer says, "just do what I do, and leave a bill in their mailbox." The doctor decides he'll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend. When the doctor gets home, he has a bill in his mailbox from the lawyer.

There were 2 blondes...

So I was sat on my porch one day and I saw 2 blondes working hard at the end of the street. One was digging a hole and the other would fill it in immediately after the first was done. This went on for about 2 hours until I walked over and said "Hey, you two are working pretty hard there, but I don't understand what you are trying to achieve?"
To which one of the blondes replied "Well there's usually 3 of us, but the one who plants the trees is off sick today".

Sick day.

A man calls his boss and tells him he won't be coming in to work today because he's not feeling well. The boss says, "Well we really need you today. Whenever I'm feeling sick I tell my wife to give me a blow job. Works every time. Why don't you try that and then see how you feel."

He calls back an hour later and says, "Just letting you know, I'm on my way to work. I feel great now. And by the way, you have a nice house."

skipping church

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally
beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he
told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass
for him that day.

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town
to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't
accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee,
he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from
the heavens and exclaimed "You're not going to let him get away with this, are
you?"

The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin,
dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.

IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!
St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"

I walked into a bar once...

I went into a bar once and ordered a drink from the bartender. He puts down the drink and a side of peanuts. I take a sip of the drink and I hear faintly, "Man, you have great hair!" I was a little freaked out by it, because there isn't anyone in the bar besides me and the bartender, but the bartender is on the other side of the bar washing dishes. I shook it off as me hearing things after having a long day. I take another gulp of my drink and again I hear the voice: "That's a wonderful shirt you have on, sir!". I look around the bar again and still there is no one to be found. I thought maybe it's time to leave. So I take my third and final drink and again I hear the voice, but louder this time: "You're such a handsome man!!" Before I leave I call the bartender over to explain what is happening to me, maybe I was sick or something? I said, "Mr. Bartender, I keep hearing a voice say nice things about me every time I take a drink. Did you add something into the drink to make me hallucinate or something? Should I call an ambulance?" And the bartender says, "No, sir. It's the peanuts; they're complimentary!"

Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced, “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!” The bartender inquired, “What makes you say that?”

“Last week,” Bill explained, “I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman or mailman came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms and hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”

On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"


The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."


"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"


So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.


But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.


The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :


"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."

God notices that heaven was getting too crowded...

So he sits down with St Peter and says
“Look, too many people are getting in. As of tomorrow at 12pm, no one is getting in unless they’ve had a really bad day”

Peter nods, and the next day he sits down at the pearly gates when a man arrives

“Hi sir, welcome to heaven, hey new rules... you’re not allowed in unless you’ve had like a really bad day”

The man doesn’t pause before screaming:
“Bad day? A bad day! Let me tell you about my day. I have suspected my wife of cheating on me for a year now and I decided to come home at lunch and catch her in the act. So I go up to my apartment on the 10th floor and I nearly bust straight in. Anyway she’s lying on the couch, naked and screaming at me! I can’t find the guy anywhere, until I go outside on the balcony and there’s this guy, naked, holding on to the balcony floor. And he’s screaming at me too! Well next thing I go into this rage... I just stomp on his hands and he falls the ten storeys. But at the bottom these branches break his fall, and he starts to get up! He’s alive! So I grab the nearest thing, our fridge, and I haul it out onto the edge of the balcony and lever t over the railing, sending it right at him. I don’t know what happened next though cause I gave myself a heart attack while doing it!”

Peter nods “wow yeah that is rough. In ya come”. The next guy in line walks up, naked

“Hey so yeah, new rules, you have to have had a bad day to get in”

“Well let me tell ya. I was home sick from work and I just got out of the shower. Anyway I walked out onto my balcony of my fifteen floor apartment to get some fresh air. A gust of wind whipped my towel off and I reached out to grab it... but I ended up falling over the edge! Luckily I managed to turn mid-air and grab onto this balcony. So I am hanging there, screaming for someone to help me when this god damn mad man comes running out and starts stamping on my fingers! I then fall ten storeys, but I’m saved! All these branches in these trees at the bottom slowly break my fall. I was just getting my bearings when I look up and a fridge is flying at my face”

Peter nods... perplexed... “wow. Yeah. Okay. That sounds rough, in ya go... next”

This other guy walks up, and Peter says “same as the last two, you’ve had to have had a bad day to get in”

The guy looks at him and goes
“Okay. So imagine this. You’re naked inside a fridge”

Two high school drop-outs are digging a ditch in the hot summer sun...

and they're complaining about it non-stop.

"Sheesh, this is hard work. I hate this job!"

"Yeah. How come we're down here working our asses off, and the foreman is up there sitting under a shady tree with a cool drink, and making 3 times as much as us? It's not fair!"

"That's it! I'm sick of this! I'm gonna go ask him!"

So the guy climbs out of the ditch and goes up to the foreman under the shady tree.

"How come we're down there working our asses off in the burning hot sun, while you sit up here under this shady tree with a cool drink?"

The foreman says, "Well, it comes down to one word: Intelligence."

"Whaddya mean, intelligence? You calling me stupid!?"

"Well, here. Let me show you."

So the foreman holds his hand up against the tree and says, "Punch my hand as hard as you can."

The guy figures, now's my chance for some payback! He winds up and swings at the foreman's hand as hard as he can, but at the last moment, the foreman yanks his hand away. The guy nearly breaks his hand smashing it against the tree.

"See what I mean?" the foreman says. "Intelligence."

"Alright. I get it." And he goes back to work with his hand throbbing in pain.

His buddy in the ditch asks him, "So whad he say?"

"He said we're slaving away down here because of intelligence!"

"Intelligence!? Is he calling us stupid!? What does he mean by that!?"

His buddy says, "Well here, let me show you."

Seeing no tree around, he holds up his hand in front of his face. "Take your shovel and hit my hand..."