The worst thing about celebrity deaths is the inevitable torrent of jokes referencing them from people trying to be witty when really it should be a time of mourning and respect. I won’t take any part in it. So wake me up when it’s all over
TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport...
The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking "Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?"
I replied "No, only guns."
How does Spider-Man think of such witty comebacks? With great power comes great response ability.
A linguistics professor is giving a lecture...
She says "Only in few languages, like Russian do two negatives make a positive, but there is not a single language known where two positives make a negative"
A witty student shouts back "yeah right! "
Witty Answer from a Four Year Old
Mom just informed me that I said this when I was little. The original punch line is "Make a sound like a carrot".
MOM: "How do you catch a rabbit?"
ME: "Have someone throw one at you."
Do vegans get paid hourly or celery? That's it. That was the joke. No witty punchline or anything like that. Sorry.
Did you hear about 50 Cent's clever new song about the small, detail-oriented urban cat? They're calling it "Fiddy's witty itty bitty nitty gritty city kitty ditty".
I don't always post something witty and amusing .....but when I do, I probably stole it from someone else.
My boss asked if he dropped his watch in the toilet
Because I was shitting on his time
And joke creds to him. I was also fresh out of witty comebacks...
So this witty kid went to his teacher asked her if he can go to the bathroom...
The teacher responded, "Alright, you can go."
The kid thanked his teacher and then went back to his seat.
I was born handsome, charming witty and wise I'm also a compulsive liar, but I think it evens out.
Need something witty to say after i pee in a cup... Tomorrow is drug test day... Not sure this is actually the right sub for this but watevs.
An Irishman offended everyone in the pub by making witty jokes about their mums. What was his name? O'Byrne
Beating up band nerds with witty comebacks
*Impales Flutist* "Must be flute poisoning"
*Bludgeons French Horn Player* "Am I making you horny?"
*Throws Tuba player off cliff* "Tu...bad"
I was going to post a humorous, witty and intelligent time travel joke... But you guys downvoted it.
How does Spiderman comes up with such witty comebacks? Because with great power comes great response-ability
What do they say about a guy who takes credit for other's witty word play? He has puns of steal.
To be funny you must make both a clever and witty statement that is understood by the majority of people Or just kick someone in the nuts