Here's a collection of the best/worst dad jokes I know.
"When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down."
"Why are skeletons always so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin."
"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care."
"Why can't T rexes clap their hands? Because they're extinct."
"Why did the girl smear peanut butter over the road? To have something to go along with the traffic jam."
"What do you call a factory that produces okay products? A satisfactory."
"A nurse once said to me: I'm sorry for the wait. I responded: I'm patient."
"Why did the invisible man decline the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it."
"I used to work at a calender factory. They fired me because I took a couple days off."
"A friend once told me: it could be worse, you could be stuck in a hole in the ground filled with water.
I know he means well."
"I disposed of my empty batteries recently. Free of charge."
Feel free to add more...