Beaver Jokes

Funny Beaver Jokes
Score: 80

What did the river say when it saw the beaver coming? Well I'll be dammed

Score: 51

What did the selfish beaver say to the deer that asked him to help stop the flooding affecting her grazing grounds? Frankly, my deer, I don't give a dam.

Score: 39

Why was the beaver homeless? He just couldn't give a dam.

Score: 36

What's the worst part about being a beaver? It's a lot of dam work.

Score: 19

I walked out my my cabin to find a beaver chewing on my favorite tree. So I says to him "Will you stop doing that, Mr. Beaver?"

​

Him "Gnaw."

Score: 19

What do you call a Canadian tampon? A beaver dam

Score: 16

What did the beaver say when he chipped his tooth? Dam it!

Score: 13

A wife tells her husband her underwear cost $300... The husband screams "Three hundred dollars!? That's outrageous!" The wife says "Well you don't wrap a beautiful jewel in newspaper".

The husband replies "Yeah, but you don't gift wrap a dead beaver, either".

Score: 11

What do you call a communist beaver? A dam commie

Score: 11

A toothless beaver walks into a pub and asks... ...is the bar tender here?

Score: 8

Anyone here eat a beaver before? I hear they taste pretty dam good.

Score: 8

A toothless beaver walks into a bar and asks... Is the bar tender here?

Score: 8

I saw a beaver movie last night. And it was the best dam movie I'd ever seen.

Score: 7

What's worse than finding a dead monkey on your piano? Finding a diseased beaver on your organ.

Score: 6

I saw a beaver movie last night it was the best dam movie ever.

Score: 6

What’s worse than a skunk on a piano? A diseased beaver on your organ

Score: 6

What does a French beaver call her home? (From my 8 year old) Madame

Score: 5

I loved watching "Leave it to Beaver" Just so I could hear June say "Gosh Ward, you sure were hard on the Beaver last night"

Score: 5

What did the beaver say after it hit a wall? Dam!

Score: 5

What do you call it when rodents invade a beaver colony? Hamsterdam

Score: 5

I watched beaver documentary yesterday best dam show I've ever seen

Score: 5

What stopped the beaver's crime spree? The damming evidence

Score: 4

Beaver curry A Canadian is showing his English friend around his hometown.

Canadian: "Have you ever tried beaver curry?"

Englishman: "Beaver curry,!?"

Canadian: " Yeah, it's like normal curry, but just a bit otter."

Score: 4

Are you a beaver? Cuz dam.

Score: 4

What did the selfish beaver say to the deer that asked it to help stop the flooding affecting its grazing grounds? Frankly, my deer, I don't give a dam.

Score: 4

What did the beaver say when he slipped in water? Dammit.

Score: 4

What do Canadians call tampons? Beaver Dams

Score: 4

What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish? Cod dam

Score: 3

June was sore. She scolded Ward Cleaver.
"You were awfully hard on the Beaver last night Ward!!"

Score: 3

A beaver and a bear are talking... The bear says to the beaver
"I can see lots of honey and berries on the other side of this river, but I can't think of any way to cross. Can you help me?"

The beaver says
"Dam!"

Score: 2

Why was the Islamic Beaver upset? He had to ram-a-dam.

Score: 2

If Missouri and Oregon became one state.... It'd be known as the show me your beaver state.

Score: 2

What did the tree say to the bullying beaver? Gnawed again.

Score: 2

What does an otter have that a beaver does not? Otter parts.

Score: 1

What do you call a singing rodent that lives in a dam? Just-a Beaver

Score: 1

What did the beaver said to the tree ? It's been nice gnawing you.

Score: 1

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