Hitler Jokes


Funniest Hitler Jokes

Funny Hitler Jokes
Score: 9808

What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Score: 2960

People compare Trump and hitler all the time, but there is one major difference. Hitler was good at making speeches

Score: 2948

I'm sick of people comparing Trump to Hitler. Hitler wrote his own book.

Score: 2760

Girls use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye But when hitler does it everyone loses their mind

Score: 2658

Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler.

Score: 2258

Trump is blaming Sanders for the violence at his rally... because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a jew for all your problems.

Score: 1704

Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Inn by a local priest. Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

Score: 1280

What's Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game? Mein Kraft.

Score: 1269

What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Hitler? Hitler had supporters.

Score: 1141

My joke was removed for comparing Trump to Hitler Apparently it's against the rules to make personal attacks on someone even after they've been dead for over 70 years.

Score: 1060

What could the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race.

Score: 969

How did Hitler keep his shoelaces from coming untied? Little knotsies.

Score: 955

Hitler wasn't a very athletic man. He never even finished a single race.

Score: 942

Hey, I'm not saying Hitler was a great guy. But he really saved the History channel.

Score: 862

What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain can finish a race

Score: 703

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person "Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945

Score: 646

What's the difference between a female farmer and Hitler's girlfriend? One bails her hay and the other heils her bae

Score: 611

What is the difference between Usian Bolt and Hitler ? Usian Bolt can finish a race.

Score: 582

What did the Boston Bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race.

Score: 539

What video game would Adolf Hitler play? Mein Kraft.

Score: 534

Worst joke I've ever heard What is the difference between Hitler and the Boston Bombers?

One of them actually ended a race.

Score: 487

You'll never be able to go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. You'd be way too short and weak.

Score: 480

An Arab and a Jew stand in front of a Hitler statue. The Jew spits on the statue.
Arab: why did you do that?
Jew: because he killed half my people.

The Arab spits on the statue as well.
Jew: why did you do that?
Arab: because he didn't kill the other half.

Score: 475

A girl uses chemicals to remove polish and no one looks twice And yet when Hitler tried it, everyone threw a fit

Score: 421

Can we stop making Hitler jokes? It really takes me out of mein kampfort zone.

Score: 316

How did Hitler like his orange juice? Concentrated.

Score: 290

Anagram of "mother in law" Woman Hitler

Score: 269

Why wasn't Hitler invited to the BBQ? Because he always burns the franks.

Score: 261

What do Justin Bieber and Adolf Hitler have in common? Neither of them are musicians.

Score: 260

Why does Hitler like acetone? It's a Polish Remover

Score: 246

Ya gotta give Hitler credit for one thing... He killed Hitler.

Score: 236

Kinda scared for 2017 Because 2+0+1+7 is 10 - the exact number of nipples Hitler would have if he had 8 more

Score: 207

Why did Hitler lose his drivers licence? He was too hard on the gas

Score: 119

What do you get when you cross Hitler with Osama bin laden? Nein 11

Score: 113

The guy who killed Hitler is my hero Oh wait...

Score: 107

Trump is nothing like Hitler There's no way he could write a book.

Score: 93

Hitler was talking to one of his generals, Hitler: I want to kill 6 million jews and 5 clowns.

General: Why the 5 clowns?

Hitler: See? Nobody cares about ze jews!

Score: 92

Hitler wasn't that bad. I mean, he killed Hitler!

*although he killed the guy who killed Hitler. Man, that guy is the worst.*

Score: 91

What do you call a homeless Hitler? A roofless dictator.

Score: 88

Popular Topics

New Hitler Jokes

Did You Know Hitler Was Good At Insulting People He at one point Roasted 6 Million Jews

Score: 23

Why did Hitler drink milk for breakfast? He didn't like juice.

Score: 6

They say Hitler was driven to war because of his addiction to video games He was obsessed with Mein Kraft

Score: 41

A cooking utensil owned by both Hitler and Osama Bin Laden went for auction today. It’s the grater of two evils.

Score: 8

History has been harsh on Hitler, but you've gotta give it to him ... ... he did kill Hitler.

Score: 7

No need to insult the Jewish Hitler already roasted them

Score: 6

why did hitler fail his math exam he couldn't finish the final solution

Score: 6

What do you call Adolf Hitler's personal gym? The liftwaffe.

Score: 8

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Phelps can end a race.

Score: 12

What is Hitler's favorite thing to cook with? WHITE FLOUR!

Score: 6

Everybody is saying Harvey Weinstein is the worst person in history, but I think they're forgetting that Hitler is the worst person in history I mean if he finished what he started, we wouldn't have to deal with Weinstein

Score: 56

Hitler was on to something..... How can you be racist if there is only one race.

Score: 10

What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain can finish a race

Sorry if this has all ready been posted....

Score: 17

Hitler was the hand sanitizer of world leaders He tried to kill 99.9%

Score: 6

What did the Boston Marathon bombers accomplish that Hitler could not? They ended a race.

Score: 7

What's Hitler's favorite spa treatment? Ethnic cleansing

Score: 14

Why is Michael Phelps better than Hitler? Michael Phelps can actually finish off a race.

Score: 73

What is the difference between hitler and Usain bolt? (Dark joke) Usain bolt can finish a race

Score: 25

What's the difference between Hitler and Jake Paul? Hitler knew when to kill himself

Score: 33

I hate Adolf Hitler! The man who shot that scum must be a saint!

Score: 55

Why shouldn't you trust Hitler with a grill? He always burns the Franks.

Score: 17

Why was Hitler Disqualified from the marathon? He cant finish a Race.

Score: 6

What would you call Hitler if he was blind? A not see.

Score: 6

Girls use chemicals to remove polish on a daily and no one bats an eye... But when Hitler does it everyone loses their mind

Score: 46

In light of Trump’s increasing volume of golf: What’s the difference between Hitler and Trump? It only took Hitler one shot to get out of the bunker he ended up in after succumbing to Russia.

Score: 6

Who was Adolf Hitler's least favorite athlete? O.J. Simpson. Everyone knows Hitler hated The Juice.

Score: 6

What is Hitler's most hated drink? Jews

Score: 13

Hitler would be a bad genie. Because despite having unlimited power, he can't handle itty bitty living space.

Score: 6

Why doesn't Hitler ever get invited to a BBQ? He keeps burning the Franks

Score: 66

Hitler failed English class. He was an anti-semantic.

Score: 8

Hitler was a hero... He single handedly ended the Holocaust, and killed one of the most evil people from history!

Score: 8

Why was Hitler never an athlete? He couldn't finish a race.

Score: 38

I ran into Hitler!!! I was surprised to see him and asked him what he was up to? He said "This time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and two clowns!"
"Two Clowns? Why are you going to kill two clowns?"
"See? Nobody cares about zee Jews."

Score: 25

My time machine landed right in the middle of Hitler's living room I thought to myself, now's my chance to make the world a better place

"Please sir," I pleaded, "Don't gas the Jews."

"Gas the Jews?" Hitler replied, "Hmm, I hadn't thought of that."

Score: 22

What is Hitler's least favourite drink? Juice.

Score: 41

What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt? Usain Bolt can actually finish off a race

Score: 55

Before art school, Adolf Hitler tried programming, but he always got stuck on race conditions.

Score: 7

Trump proposed new regulations for the airline industry... Because even Hitler didn't remove passengers with reserved seats.

Score: 11

What is Hitler's favorite blanket? Mein Kampfurter.

Score: 16

What is Hitler's favourite video game..? Mein Kraft

Score: 17

World War 2 fans have their own set of complaints.... "I can't believe Hitler blew an 11 country lead!"

Score: 10

I'm tired of people comparing Trump to Hitler. After all, Hitler wrote his own book.

Score: 8

It's not fair to compare Trump to Hitler. Hitler appreciated the arts.

Score: 23

I haven't seen a team blow a win this bad... Since Hitler invaded Russia

Score: 19

Adolf Hitler has never touched Call of Duty... ...and yet, he still has a better KDR than me.

Score: 11

How does Hitler sneeze? **a-jew* *

Score: 14

What's the difference between Trump and Hitler? Hitler started out as a good guy.

Score: 9

Guys, Trump isn't Hitler... ...because Hitler actually won the popular vote.

Score: 6

Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like... Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.

Score: 34

What does Hitler drink each morning? Some Jews

Score: 6

You know, Hitler must have been a pretty great artist. There are a ton of museums dedicated to his work, after all.

Score: 37

One day, Adolf Hitler looked outside and saw heavy storm clouds. Worried, he contacted a meteorologist and asked him what the weather was going to be like.

The meteorologist replied, "Hail, Hitler!"

Score: 7

Who died and left America in charge? Hitler.

Score: 20

How did Hitler like his juice? Concentrated

Score: 85

Adolf Hitler once asked the Germans if it was raining in their place The Germans replied "No, it's hail Hitler"

Score: 5

Why did Hitler and Mussolini get into a footrace? They wanted to see who was the fascist.

Score: 44

What does the weather do when Hitler's around? It heils.

Score: 5

Why were the Boston Marathon Bombings worse than Hitler? (OFFENSIVE) Because they actually managed to end a race.

Score: 16

My 10 y/o daughter made this joke up on the way to school... What do you get when you cross Hitler with a fish? A-dolphin!

Score: 14

Besides being an famous chief (despite burning everything he cooked), Adolf Hitler was also a star athlete.... He was the fascist kid on the playground.

Score: 7

Popular Topics