Hitler Jokes


Funniest Hitler Jokes

Funny Hitler Jokes
Score: 9808

What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Score: 2960

People compare Trump and hitler all the time, but there is one major difference. Hitler was good at making speeches

Score: 2948

I'm sick of people comparing Trump to Hitler. Hitler wrote his own book.

Score: 2760

Girls use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye But when hitler does it everyone loses their mind

Score: 2658

Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler.

Score: 2258

Trump is blaming Sanders for the violence at his rally... because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a jew for all your problems.

Score: 1704

Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Inn by a local priest. Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

Score: 1280

What's Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game? Mein Kraft.

Score: 1269

What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Hitler? Hitler had supporters.

Score: 1141

My joke was removed for comparing Trump to Hitler Apparently it's against the rules to make personal attacks on someone even after they've been dead for over 70 years.

Score: 1060

What could the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race.

Score: 969

How did Hitler keep his shoelaces from coming untied? Little knotsies.

Score: 955

Hitler wasn't a very athletic man. He never even finished a single race.

Score: 942

Hey, I'm not saying Hitler was a great guy. But he really saved the History channel.

Score: 862

What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain can finish a race

Score: 703

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person "Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945

Score: 646

What's the difference between a female farmer and Hitler's girlfriend? One bails her hay and the other heils her bae

Score: 611

What is the difference between Usian Bolt and Hitler ? Usian Bolt can finish a race.

Score: 582

What did the Boston Bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race.

Score: 539

What video game would Adolf Hitler play? Mein Kraft.

Score: 534

Worst joke I've ever heard What is the difference between Hitler and the Boston Bombers?

One of them actually ended a race.

Score: 487

You'll never be able to go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. You'd be way too short and weak.

Score: 480

An Arab and a Jew stand in front of a Hitler statue. The Jew spits on the statue.
Arab: why did you do that?
Jew: because he killed half my people.

The Arab spits on the statue as well.
Jew: why did you do that?
Arab: because he didn't kill the other half.

Score: 475

A girl uses chemicals to remove polish and no one looks twice And yet when Hitler tried it, everyone threw a fit

Score: 421

Can we stop making Hitler jokes? It really takes me out of mein kampfort zone.

Score: 316

How did Hitler like his orange juice? Concentrated.

Score: 290

Anagram of "mother in law" Woman Hitler

Score: 269

Why wasn't Hitler invited to the BBQ? Because he always burns the franks.

Score: 261

What do Justin Bieber and Adolf Hitler have in common? Neither of them are musicians.

Score: 260

How did Hitler like his juice? Concentrated

Score: 85

Girls use chemicals to remove polish on a daily and no one bats an eye... But when Hitler does it everyone loses their mind

Score: 46

Why did Hitler and Mussolini get into a footrace? They wanted to see who was the fascist.

Score: 44

They say Hitler was driven to war because of his addiction to video games He was obsessed with Mein Kraft

Score: 41

Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like... Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.

Score: 34

Did You Know Hitler Was Good At Insulting People He at one point Roasted 6 Million Jews

Score: 23

Who died and left America in charge? Hitler.

Score: 20

Why were the Boston Marathon Bombings worse than Hitler? (OFFENSIVE) Because they actually managed to end a race.

Score: 16

My 10 y/o daughter made this joke up on the way to school... What do you get when you cross Hitler with a fish? A-dolphin!

Score: 14

World War 2 fans have their own set of complaints.... "I can't believe Hitler blew an 11 country lead!"

Score: 10

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New Hitler Jokes

The Real reason Hitler took his life, He got his gas bill.

Score: 3

Why did Hitler drink milk for breakfast? He didn't like juice.

Score: 6

A joke about Hitler. (Offensive? Probably). So Hitler is a nice guy He just took the Jews on the Holocoaster

Score: 2

Hitler needed to watch his weight So he tried a Jews cleanse

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I'll agree: Donald Trump isn't the same as Hitler... Hitler served in the army

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Why does Hitler only sing “__ this the ____ life?” on the first line of Bohemian Rhapsody? It’s because he wants to take out “Is real”

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What does hitler call doing his laundry? Purifying the jeans

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What video game did Hitler play before starting WWII? Mein Kraft

Score: 4

On 30th April 1945, Hitler's wife went up to him and asked Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Score: 3

Everybody is talking about how bad white people are now, but I think they should be praised for a super important thing. A white man killed Hitler.

Score: 3

What did Hitler tell his footballteam after losing the match? Get in the shower

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Hitlet went to a fortuneteller to ask when he will die. The teller told him, “You will die on a Jewish holiday.”

“How are you sure about that?”, Hitler demanded.

“Because”, she replied, “any day which you die on will become a Jewish holiday.”

Score: 2

A cooking utensil owned by both Hitler and Osama Bin Laden went for auction today. It’s the grater of two evils.

Score: 8

History has been harsh on Hitler, but you've gotta give it to him ... ... he did kill Hitler.

Score: 7

How old was Adolf Hitler when he started showing outward evil? NEIN!!!

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Me: I finally went back in time and killed Adolf Hitler! I’m going to be famous! Scientist: Who?

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Why did Hitler go from a painter to a massmurderer? He couldn't paint a good picture of himself

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Y’know, people are way to harsh on Hitler I mean he did kill the guy who started the Holocaust.

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I realized while seeing old photos that Hitlers wife never used to wear any jewelry. It's because Hitler didn't like JEWelry..

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Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, and Adolf Hitler are all running a race, who wins? Hitler, cause he’s the racist

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No need to insult the Jewish Hitler already roasted them

Score: 6

why did hitler fail his math exam he couldn't finish the final solution

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New research says Hitler didn't really want to kill the Jews. He just wanted America's support to pit them against the Palestinians.

Score: 2

If hitler would be a football coach and his team lost what would he say Get to the showers

Score: 1

What do you call Adolf Hitler's personal gym? The liftwaffe.

Score: 8

They’re naming our school after hitler We complained of course, but then they said "no no no he's the good one, he's the one that killed hitler"

Score: 2

what is the difference between Hitler and KKK Hitler cooks with gas.

Score: 2

What did Hitler name the Gas planet he discovered during World War 2. Jewpiter

Score: 5

What does hitler say when he kills someone in call of duty? Get reiched!

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What does Hitler name his Minecraft worlds? Mein Kraft

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What did the Boston Marathon bombers accomplish that Hitler could not? They ended a race.

Score: 7

What was the name of Hitler's boat? Knot Sea

Score: 4

Hitler failed English class. He was an anti-semantic.

Score: 8

What's the difference between Hitler and a runner? A runner can finish a race.

Score: 5

Question - Why did Hitler kill his wife? Answer - She liked jewellery too much.

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What was Hitler's favorite bar? Bar Mitzvah

Score: 4

Use chemicals to remove nail polish and its fine But once you use chemicals to remove the Polish, you're suddenly Hitler.

Score: 1

Jewish Pun What did Hitler say when the Jews got away?

Aushwitz, they got away!

Score: 3

Me and my Girlfriend just broke up We had different views on history, I wanted to Hitler and she was just Stalin.

Score: 1

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Hitler? Hitler had a plan.

Score: 4

Hitler was argueably the greatest person that ever lived... I mean he did kill Hitler

Score: 3

Hitler had a half-deaf secretary..... Hitler is fuming furious one day, he called his half-deaf secretary to his office after recieving some news. He yells, "Glass of juice, not gas the jews!"

Score: 3

So Hitler is working at a bookstore and I go up to him and say, "Hey, do you have any books about the expense of a yell?"

He replies, "Kinda, I have this book about the Holla' cost."

Score: 2

Adolf Hitler once asked the Germans if it was raining in their place The Germans replied "No, it's hail Hitler"

Score: 5

If Hitler were a black supremacist English teacher what would the Holocaust be called? White-out.

Score: 2

I inherited one of the paintings done by Adolf Hitler today. I don't want to hang it in my house though. I'm afraid it's bad Jew Jew.

Score: 3

What does the weather do when Hitler's around? It heils.

Score: 5

What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race

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How old was the kid that dressed up like Hitler? Nine

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What was Hitler's favourite air vehicle? heilcopter

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Hurricanes should be named after worst dictators and world leaders So we could have a proper idea of how much damage they can cause example:

Hurricane Hitler.

Hurricane Kim Jong ill.

Hurricane Bush.

Hurricane Nixon.

Score: 1

What does Hitler hate about leg day ? Mein Krampf

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Which brand of pen does Hitler and Napolean like to use? Uniball.

Score: 2

What is hitler's favourite kind of weather? Hail

Score: 3

What is Hitler's favorite type of car? A führari

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What games does Hitler play? Mein Kraft

Score: 3

Who was Hitler's childhood hero? the white power ranger

Score: 1

What do Hitler and Boston have in common? Neither can finish a race.

Score: 2

Besides being an famous chief (despite burning everything he cooked), Adolf Hitler was also a star athlete.... He was the fascist kid on the playground.

Score: 7

What do you call it when Hitler pees? Führenating.

Score: 4

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