Hitler Jokes


Funniest Hitler Jokes

Funny Hitler Jokes
Score: 9808

What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Score: 2960

People compare Trump and hitler all the time, but there is one major difference. Hitler was good at making speeches

Score: 2948

I'm sick of people comparing Trump to Hitler. Hitler wrote his own book.

Score: 2760

Girls use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye But when hitler does it everyone loses their mind

Score: 2658

Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler.

Score: 2258

Trump is blaming Sanders for the violence at his rally... because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a jew for all your problems.

Score: 1704

Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Inn by a local priest. Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

Score: 1280

What's Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game? Mein Kraft.

Score: 1269

What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Hitler? Hitler had supporters.

Score: 1141

My joke was removed for comparing Trump to Hitler Apparently it's against the rules to make personal attacks on someone even after they've been dead for over 70 years.

Score: 1060

What could the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race.

Score: 969

How did Hitler keep his shoelaces from coming untied? Little knotsies.

Score: 955

Hitler wasn't a very athletic man. He never even finished a single race.

Score: 942

Hey, I'm not saying Hitler was a great guy. But he really saved the History channel.

Score: 862

What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain can finish a race

Score: 703

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person "Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945

Score: 646

What's the difference between a female farmer and Hitler's girlfriend? One bails her hay and the other heils her bae

Score: 611

What is the difference between Usian Bolt and Hitler ? Usian Bolt can finish a race.

Score: 582

What did the Boston Bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race.

Score: 539

What video game would Adolf Hitler play? Mein Kraft.

Score: 534

Worst joke I've ever heard What is the difference between Hitler and the Boston Bombers?

One of them actually ended a race.

Score: 487

You'll never be able to go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. You'd be way too short and weak.

Score: 480

An Arab and a Jew stand in front of a Hitler statue. The Jew spits on the statue.
Arab: why did you do that?
Jew: because he killed half my people.

The Arab spits on the statue as well.
Jew: why did you do that?
Arab: because he didn't kill the other half.

Score: 475

A girl uses chemicals to remove polish and no one looks twice And yet when Hitler tried it, everyone threw a fit

Score: 421

Can we stop making Hitler jokes? It really takes me out of mein kampfort zone.

Score: 316

How did Hitler like his orange juice? Concentrated.

Score: 290

Anagram of "mother in law" Woman Hitler

Score: 269

Why wasn't Hitler invited to the BBQ? Because he always burns the franks.

Score: 261

What do Justin Bieber and Adolf Hitler have in common? Neither of them are musicians.

Score: 260

Hitler was worst track runner he couldn't even finish one race

Score: 108

Hitler was talking to one of his generals, Hitler: I want to kill 6 million jews and 5 clowns.

General: Why the 5 clowns?

Hitler: See? Nobody cares about ze jews!

Score: 92

Mao Zedong, Stalin, Hitler, and Ellen Pao walk into a bar... (user was banned for this post)

Score: 90

Girls use chemicals to remove polish on a daily and no one bats an eye... But when Hitler does it everyone loses their mind

Score: 46

What was Hitler's favorite videogame? Meinkraft

Score: 39

Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like... Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.

Score: 34

Hitler walks into a restaurant... Adolf walks in to a restaurant and states, "I'm hungry!"

The owner asks, "Well, what do you want to eat?"

Hitler replies with, "As long as it's *not-sea*food, I'm sure I'll love it!"

Score: 33

Why do Muslims hate Hitler? My friend told me this 'joke' after he found out I was Muslim.
Him: Why do Muslims hate Hitler?
Me: Why?
Him: He didn't kill ALL the Jews.

Score: 25

Hitler was the worst track runner he couldn't even finish one race

Score: 19

They say Mussolini made the trains run on time.... But Hitler's were free.

Score: 17

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New Hitler Jokes

Why did Hitler like most letters Because they were not Z

Score: 3

What did Hitler say after being drunk for three days strait? I said GLASS of JUICE!!! Not GAS the JEWS!!!

Score: 1

[dark] Why did Hitler commit suicide? He received the gas bill.

Score: 2

Why is Stalin better than Hitler? Because he killed everyone as EQUALS.

Score: 0

What is common between Hitler and Usian Bolt They both finished a race

Score: 0

What did trump said when CNN called him worst than Hitler? To late for flattery

Score: 0

who would win hitler or a millenial? none. they will both kill themselves

(im a millenial so don’t get offended)

I know a bad joke but it’s all I could come up with

Score: 0

The Real reason Hitler took his life, He got his gas bill.

Score: 3

Why did Hitler drink milk for breakfast? He didn't like juice.

Score: 6

A joke about Hitler. (Offensive? Probably). So Hitler is a nice guy He just took the Jews on the Holocoaster

Score: 2

Hitler needed to watch his weight So he tried a Jews cleanse

Score: 2

What does hitler call doing his laundry? Purifying the jeans

Score: 4

What video game did Hitler play before starting WWII? Mein Kraft

Score: 4

If Hitler were alive today, he'd hate playing Minecraft Whenever he'd start mining diamonds, his generals would yell out "mine fewer!"

Score: 4

On 30th April 1945, Hitler's wife went up to him and asked Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Score: 3

Everybody is talking about how bad white people are now, but I think they should be praised for a super important thing. A white man killed Hitler.

Score: 3

If Hitler was a tech nerd He would've written a book called my comp

Score: 1

Why did Adolf Hitler fail Art School? He hated mixing colour.

Score: 9

How old was Adolf Hitler when he started showing outward evil? NEIN!!!

Score: 1

Me: I finally went back in time and killed Adolf Hitler! I’m going to be famous! Scientist: Who?

Score: 1

What does Hitler and a Boston marathon runner have in common? They can't finish a race.

Score: 3

Why did Hitler go from a painter to a massmurderer? He couldn't paint a good picture of himself

Score: 2

Y’know, people are way to harsh on Hitler I mean he did kill the guy who started the Holocaust.

Score: 2

Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, and Adolf Hitler are all running a race, who wins? Hitler, cause he’s the racist

Score: 4

What is the highest thing hitler achieved in WW2 His gas bill

Score: 2

No need to insult the Jewish Hitler already roasted them

Score: 6

why did hitler fail his math exam he couldn't finish the final solution

Score: 6

New research says Hitler didn't really want to kill the Jews. He just wanted America's support to pit them against the Palestinians.

Score: 2

If hitler would be a football coach and his team lost what would he say Get to the showers

Score: 1

Did you hear about the brand of brans that cause gase in Jewish people more then in others? it's called Heinz Hitler

Score: 0

What was Adolf Hitler's favourite gameshow? Wipeout.

Score: 3

What do you call Adolf Hitler's personal gym? The liftwaffe.

Score: 8

World War II was There were many heros in World War II... Like the guy who killed Hitler

Score: 0

What was Hitler’s favorite band? Death Camp For Cutie

Score: 2

what is the difference between Hitler and KKK Hitler cooks with gas.

Score: 2

Was Hitler on Santa's Naughty or Nice list? Both. He was on the "Naughtcy" list.

Score: 8

What did Hitler name the Gas planet he discovered during World War 2. Jewpiter

Score: 5

Why did Hitler lose his driving license? He was too hard on the gas.

Score: 5

Did you know that before WWII, Hitler and Stalin took cooking classes together? They were learning how to make peas with their enemies.

Score: 4

What was the name of Hitler's boat? Knot Sea

Score: 4

I don't know why people hate Adolf Hitler so much I mean the dude killed Hitler, sounds like a hero to me

Score: 2

What's the difference between Hitler and a runner? A runner can finish a race.

Score: 5

Question - Why did Hitler kill his wife? Answer - She liked jewellery too much.

Score: 1

What was Hitler's favorite bar? Bar Mitzvah

Score: 4

Trump proposed new regulations for the airline industry... Because even Hitler didn't remove passengers with reserved seats.

Score: 11

Whyndid hitler never ever say thank you to anyone? Cause he spoke German.

Score: 0

Did you know Hitler was blinded in WW1? That's when he became a not-see

Score: 5

One day, Adolf Hitler looked outside and saw heavy storm clouds. Worried, he contacted a meteorologist and asked him what the weather was going to be like.

The meteorologist replied, "Hail, Hitler!"

Score: 7

Hitler had a half-deaf secretary..... Hitler is fuming furious one day, he called his half-deaf secretary to his office after recieving some news. He yells, "Glass of juice, not gas the jews!"

Score: 3

What do you say when Hitler sends you a spicy meme? DANKe

Score: 6

A feminist, a fat person and a Hitler walk into a bar... Feminism is bad.

Score: 2

Who was Hitler's childhood hero? the white power ranger

Score: 1

What do Hitler and Boston have in common? Neither can finish a race.

Score: 2

Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? It made him mean.

Score: 2

The world would be a much better place if people like Adolf Hitler were still born. EDIT: typo, 'stillborn'

Score: 3

Why did Hitler delay the invasion of Britain? The weather called for *Heil*

Score: 2

Why did Hitler have a thing for men from Hungary? Because they are Hung Arian's

Score: 7

Why did Hitler have a vitamin C deficiency? He hated juice.

Score: 1

Why did hitler get an A in chemistry? He always knew the final solution!

Score: 3

What do you call it when Hitler pees? Führenating.

Score: 4

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