Hitler Jokes

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Funniest Hitler Jokes

Funny Hitler Jokes
Score: 9808

What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Score: 2960

People compare Trump and hitler all the time, but there is one major difference. Hitler was good at making speeches

Score: 2948

I'm sick of people comparing Trump to Hitler. Hitler wrote his own book.

Score: 2760

Girls use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye But when hitler does it everyone loses their mind

Score: 2658

Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler.

Score: 2258

Trump is blaming Sanders for the violence at his rally... because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a jew for all your problems.

Score: 1704

Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Inn by a local priest. Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

Score: 1280

What's Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game? Mein Kraft.

Score: 1269

What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Hitler? Hitler had supporters.

Score: 1141

My joke was removed for comparing Trump to Hitler Apparently it's against the rules to make personal attacks on someone even after they've been dead for over 70 years.

Score: 1060

What could the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race.

Score: 969

How did Hitler keep his shoelaces from coming untied? Little knotsies.

Score: 955

Hitler wasn't a very athletic man. He never even finished a single race.

Score: 942

Hey, I'm not saying Hitler was a great guy. But he really saved the History channel.

Score: 862

What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain can finish a race

Score: 703

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person "Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945

Score: 646

What's the difference between a female farmer and Hitler's girlfriend? One bails her hay and the other heils her bae

Score: 611

What is the difference between Usian Bolt and Hitler ? Usian Bolt can finish a race.

Score: 582

What did the Boston Bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race.

Score: 539

What video game would Adolf Hitler play? Mein Kraft.

Score: 534

Worst joke I've ever heard What is the difference between Hitler and the Boston Bombers?

One of them actually ended a race.

Score: 487

You'll never be able to go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. You'd be way too short and weak.

Score: 480

An Arab and a Jew stand in front of a Hitler statue. The Jew spits on the statue.
Arab: why did you do that?
Jew: because he killed half my people.

The Arab spits on the statue as well.
Jew: why did you do that?
Arab: because he didn't kill the other half.

Score: 475

A girl uses chemicals to remove polish and no one looks twice And yet when Hitler tried it, everyone threw a fit

Score: 421

Can we stop making Hitler jokes? It really takes me out of mein kampfort zone.

Score: 316

How did Hitler like his orange juice? Concentrated.

Score: 290

Anagram of "mother in law" Woman Hitler

Score: 269

Why wasn't Hitler invited to the BBQ? Because he always burns the franks.

Score: 261

What do Justin Bieber and Adolf Hitler have in common? Neither of them are musicians.

Score: 260

What was Hitler's favourite computer game? Mein Kraft

Score: 238

Hitler was worst track runner he couldn't even finish one race

Score: 108

What is Hitler's favorite video game? Mein Craft.

Score: 90

Mao Zedong, Stalin, Hitler, and Ellen Pao walk into a bar... (user was banned for this post)

Score: 90

Whats Hitler's favorite type of joke A roast

Score: 54

How did baby Hitler tie his little shoesies? In little knotsies!

Score: 42

What was Hitler's favorite videogame? Meinkraft

Score: 39

Canadian Joke: How was Terry Fox like Hitler? He couldn't finish a race either.

Score: 28

Hitler was the worst track runner he couldn't even finish one race

Score: 19

Why were the Boston Marathon Bombings worse than Hitler? (OFFENSIVE) Because they actually managed to end a race.

Score: 16

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New Hitler Jokes

I traveled to a parallel world where Hitler became a succcessful artist. And in that world they wrote a book too. The book itself became so popular, that it got translated to English. The English title of the book was ... "Mine Craft"

Score: 1

Why did Hitler like most letters Because they were not Z

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What did Hitler say after being drunk for three days strait? I said GLASS of JUICE!!! Not GAS the JEWS!!!

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[dark] Why did Hitler commit suicide? He received the gas bill.

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The Real reason Hitler took his life, He got his gas bill.

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Why did Hitler drink milk for breakfast? He didn't like juice.

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A joke about Hitler. (Offensive? Probably). So Hitler is a nice guy He just took the Jews on the Holocoaster

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Hitler needed to watch his weight So he tried a Jews cleanse

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What does hitler call doing his laundry? Purifying the jeans

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What video game did Hitler play before starting WWII? Mein Kraft

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If Hitler were alive today, he'd hate playing Minecraft Whenever he'd start mining diamonds, his generals would yell out "mine fewer!"

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On 30th April 1945, Hitler's wife went up to him and asked Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

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Everybody is talking about how bad white people are now, but I think they should be praised for a super important thing. A white man killed Hitler.

Score: 3

If Hitler was a tech nerd He would've written a book called my comp

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Why did Adolf Hitler fail Art School? He hated mixing colour.

Score: 9

How old was Adolf Hitler when he started showing outward evil? NEIN!!!

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Me: I finally went back in time and killed Adolf Hitler! I’m going to be famous! Scientist: Who?

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What does Hitler and a Boston marathon runner have in common? They can't finish a race.

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Why did Hitler go from a painter to a massmurderer? He couldn't paint a good picture of himself

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Y’know, people are way to harsh on Hitler I mean he did kill the guy who started the Holocaust.

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Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, and Adolf Hitler are all running a race, who wins? Hitler, cause he’s the racist

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What is the highest thing hitler achieved in WW2 His gas bill

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No need to insult the Jewish Hitler already roasted them

Score: 6

why did hitler fail his math exam he couldn't finish the final solution

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New research says Hitler didn't really want to kill the Jews. He just wanted America's support to pit them against the Palestinians.

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If hitler would be a football coach and his team lost what would he say Get to the showers

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What was Adolf Hitler's favourite gameshow? Wipeout.

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What do you call Adolf Hitler's personal gym? The liftwaffe.

Score: 8

World War II was There were many heros in World War II... Like the guy who killed Hitler

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What was Hitler’s favorite band? Death Camp For Cutie

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what is the difference between Hitler and KKK Hitler cooks with gas.

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Was Hitler on Santa's Naughty or Nice list? Both. He was on the "Naughtcy" list.

Score: 8

What did Hitler name the Gas planet he discovered during World War 2. Jewpiter

Score: 5

Jokes about mass genocide are only funny if they are said by certain people. - Adolf Hitler.

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A Muslim and a Jew are walking down a street The Jew spots a statue of Hitler. He runs up and spits on it. The Jew said "He killed my people"

The Muslim runs up to the statue and spits on it too. When the asked why he spit on it he said "He didn't kill them all"

Score: 1

What do Hitler and Boston have in common? They both can’t finish a race.

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Did you know that before WWII, Hitler and Stalin took cooking classes together? They were learning how to make peas with their enemies.

Score: 4

What was the name of Hitler's boat? Knot Sea

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I don't know why people hate Adolf Hitler so much I mean the dude killed Hitler, sounds like a hero to me

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Question - Why did Hitler kill his wife? Answer - She liked jewellery too much.

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Trump proposed new regulations for the airline industry... Because even Hitler didn't remove passengers with reserved seats.

Score: 11

Whyndid hitler never ever say thank you to anyone? Cause he spoke German.

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Why was the russian president late for his meeting with Hitler? He was Stalin

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What was Hitler's philosophy on PR? Weimar your reputation when you know you're in the Reich!

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TIL - that Adolf Hitler was inspecting his U-Boat fleet one day and got on the Wrong sub

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A kid meets Hitler while visiting in a concentration camp. The kid asks him "What will I be when I grow up?"

"I don't know, man", Hitler answered. "A soap or a shoe maybe. Probably a lampshade".

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What do a Boston Marathon runner and Hitler have in common? Neither can finish a race.

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Stalin bragged that his death camps were better than Hitler's. Hitler responded, "Jewish."

Score: 14

One day, Adolf Hitler looked outside and saw heavy storm clouds. Worried, he contacted a meteorologist and asked him what the weather was going to be like.

The meteorologist replied, "Hail, Hitler!"

Score: 7

If Hitler had a pet, what would it be? A dolphin

Score: 7

What was Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game? Mein Kraft.

Score: 5

Hitler had a half-deaf secretary..... Hitler is fuming furious one day, he called his half-deaf secretary to his office after recieving some news. He yells, "Glass of juice, not gas the jews!"

Score: 3

What did Hitler dream of during the holidays? A WHITE Christmas!

Score: 5

What's the difference difference between Hitler and a little kid? Hitler didn't get a medal for trying to finish a race.

Score: 3

What do you say when Hitler sends you a spicy meme? DANKe

Score: 6

A feminist, a fat person and a Hitler walk into a bar... Feminism is bad.

Score: 2

What did Hitler say from heaven when the Russians took over Auschwitz Stop it that's Mein Kampf!

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Who was Hitler's childhood hero? the white power ranger

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What do Hitler and Boston have in common? Neither can finish a race.

Score: 2

Hitler wanted to be a painter but failed. Ended up almost killing entire ethnicities of people. He never did learn to mix the colours.

Score: 3

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