Hitler Jokes


Funniest Hitler Jokes

Funny Hitler Jokes
Score: 9808

What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Score: 2960

People compare Trump and hitler all the time, but there is one major difference. Hitler was good at making speeches

Score: 2948

I'm sick of people comparing Trump to Hitler. Hitler wrote his own book.

Score: 2760

Girls use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye But when hitler does it everyone loses their mind

Score: 2658

Trump is blaming Sanders for the violence at his rally... because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a jew for all your problems.

Score: 1704

Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Inn by a local priest. Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

Score: 1280

What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Hitler? Hitler had supporters.

Score: 1141

My joke was removed for comparing Trump to Hitler Apparently it's against the rules to make personal attacks on someone even after they've been dead for over 70 years.

Score: 1060

What could the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race.

Score: 969

How did Hitler keep his shoelaces from coming untied? Little knotsies.

Score: 955

Hitler wasn't a very athletic man. He never even finished a single race.

Score: 942

Hey, I'm not saying Hitler was a great guy. But he really saved the History channel.

Score: 862

What is the difference between Usian Bolt and Hitler ? Usian Bolt can finish a race.

Score: 582

What did the Boston Bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race.

Score: 539

What video game would Adolf Hitler play? Mein Kraft.

Score: 534

Worst joke I've ever heard What is the difference between Hitler and the Boston Bombers?

One of them actually ended a race.

Score: 487

You'll never be able to go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. You'd be way too short and weak.

Score: 480

An Arab and a Jew stand in front of a Hitler statue. The Jew spits on the statue.
Arab: why did you do that?
Jew: because he killed half my people.

The Arab spits on the statue as well.
Jew: why did you do that?
Arab: because he didn't kill the other half.

Score: 475

A girl uses chemicals to remove polish and no one looks twice And yet when Hitler tried it, everyone threw a fit

Score: 421

Trump is nothing like Hitler There’s no way he could write a book.

Score: 328

Can we stop making Hitler jokes? It really takes me out of mein kampfort zone.

Score: 316

How did Hitler like his orange juice? Concentrated.

Score: 290

Anagram of "mother in law" Woman Hitler

Score: 269

Why wasn't Hitler invited to the BBQ? Because he always burns the franks.

Score: 261

What do Justin Bieber and Adolf Hitler have in common? Neither of them are musicians.

Score: 260

Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first? A black guy

Score: 256

Why does Hitler like acetone? It's a Polish Remover

Score: 246

Ya gotta give Hitler credit for one thing... He killed Hitler.

Score: 236

What gave Hitler a heart attack? Seeing his gas bill

Score: 226

Kinda scared for 2017 Because 2+0+1+7 is 10 - the exact number of nipples Hitler would have if he had 8 more

Score: 207

What did they call Hitler when he swam? Adolfin

Score: 177

Hitler walked in to a bar... The bartenders says "whoa, hitler I thought you were dead"

Hitler says "no, just hiding. I'm planning to kill the rest of the Jews and 5 clowns"

The bartender asks "why the clowns?"

Hitler says "see no one cares about Jews"

Score: 169

Adolf Hitler and my wife have the same birthday. It's crazy to think that such a loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people... Shares the same birthday as Adolf Hitler.

Score: 168

Why isn't Hitler in Mario Kart? Because he cant finish a race

Score: 165

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy After all he did kill Hitler. Then again... He killed the guy who killed Hitler.

Score: 154

Roses are red, Violets are blue Hitler blew an 11 country lead during World War 2

Score: 140

It's not fair for people to keep comparing Trump to Hitler. It's not fair for people to keep comparing Trump to Hitler. Hitler was a decorated war hero and qualified leader.

Score: 137

What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Phelps can finish a race!

Score: 133

How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little knotsies.

Score: 130

How did Hitler originally get into power? "Let's make Germany great again"

Score: 124

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New Hitler Jokes

Why does Hitler not like going to strip clubs? He hates the Poles

Score: 38

What's the difference between Logan Paul and Hitler? Hitler respected the Japanese.

Score: 4

The comparisons between Trump and Hitler are a bit unfair... ...Hitler actually achieved his goals.

Score: 3

Confederates are reverse Hitlers. Hitler first sucked at art and then lost the war while Confederates first lost the war and then sucked at art.

Score: 4

Why did Hitler win every political race? Because he's the fascist

Score: 4

What’s the difference Logan Paul and hitler? Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Score: 34

Why did Hitler fail as an artist? He refused to mix colors.

Score: 46

In another timeline In another timeline Hitler becomes a musician and opens a chain of very successful record stores named the Vinyl Solution.

Score: 5

Napoleon wore a red shirt so no one could see him bleed if he was shot. Hitler wore brown pants

Score: 20

Hitler adopted a child He's now a step-Fuhrer

Score: 4

Why wasn’t Hitler able to foresee his own demise? Because he was part of the not-see party.

Score: 8

Why isn’t Hitler invited to any BBQ’s? Because he burns the Franks.

Score: 9

I always see people comparing Trump to Hitler, and I think that’s incredibly ignorant At least Hitler knew what he was doing

Score: 3

How would you call Hitler if the world was made of playdoh? Playdolf. (yeah, yeah, stupid joke, but I'm not sorry about it)

Score: 4

Hitler got so pissed at the 1936 Berlin Olympics He decided to finish the race himself.

Score: 4

Why did Hitler like most letters Because they were not Z

Score: 5

What kind of drink does Hitler dislike? Juice.

Score: 6

Hitler and Stalin are having a conversation Hitler: Tell me a joke
Stalin: Stalingrad
Hitler: I don’t get it
Stalin: Exactly

Score: 9

Adolf Hitler has just took up golf... He always manages to find himself in the bunker.

Score: 4

I finally understand how people could compare Bernie Sanders to Hitler Seeing how neither of them could finish a race.

Score: 9

Why was Hitler grumpy at breakfast? Because he didn't like the juice.

Score: 14

Hitler didn't want to take a cab He is more of an Ubermensch

Score: 3

How did Hitler tie his shoes? Gudenteit

Score: 5

Hitler May have ended lots of lives But at least he put a stop to Hitler

Score: 3

They say Hitler used potatoes to treat his genital warts... Talk about a Dictator.

Score: 5

[dark] Why did Hitler commit suicide? He received the gas bill.

Score: 5

What is it that most women do in their daily lives but is considered a tragedy when Adolf Hitler did? Remove Polish using chemicals.

Score: 4

What's the difference between Hitler and epstein Hitler killed himself

Score: 20

Why is Hitler a better person than Jeffery Epstein? At least Hitler killed himself.

Score: 30

Hitler went to a fortune teller and asked her, " On what day will I die?" She assured him that he would die on a Jewish holiday. "Why are you so sure of that?", demanded Hitler. "Any day", she replied, " on which you die will be a jewish holiday."

Score: 6

Why did hitler only drink water Because he hates juice

Score: 46

What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler Usain Bolt can actually finish the race

Score: 10

What's the difference between Hitler and Usain bolt Usain can actually Finish a race

Score: 5

Why did Hitler only drink milk for breakfast? He hated juice.

Score: 16

What do Hitler and Lizzo have in common? They both blame it on the juice

Score: 3

Hitler is judged harshly by history, but let's not ignore the heroic acts he performed, like.... He killed Hitler

Score: 8

Why didn't Hitler get accepted to art school? Because he didn't like to mix colours

Score: 4

Killing 31,646 people would be the equivalent of planting 20 million trees. Making hitler the biggest environmentalist ever!

Score: 4

What’s the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? Hitler had some respect for the Japanese.

Score: 6

What’s the difference between a feminazi and Hitler? Hitler only had half a mustache

Score: 5

Why is Hitler better than Epstein? In a herioc last act, Hitler killed one of the biggest criminals of his time.

Score: 5

How does Hitler like his juice? Concentrated

Score: 9

The Real reason Hitler took his life, He got his gas bill.

Score: 3

People can change Even Hitler went from being an anti-semite to finally killing the person responsible for death of million jews.

Score: 5

Hitler built a boat in pixelated blocks and named it Mein Kraft

Score: 109

What kind of animal would Hitler be? Adolfin

Score: 106

Did You Know Hitler Was Good At Insulting People He at one point Roasted 6 Million Jews

Score: 23

A bug pimp is a lot like Adolf Hitler One brings holocausts and the other ho locusts.

Thanks I'll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitresses.

Score: 13

Why did Hitler drink milk for breakfast? He didn't like juice.

Score: 6

Why did Hitler only drink water? He doesn't like juice.

Score: 8

What position would Hitler play in Hockey? Reich Wing

Score: 3

What makes Hitler and Jake Paul different Hitler knew when to kill himself

Score: 4

What's the difference between Hitler and a guy with a pet badger? One is a Bad German and the other is a Badger Man

Score: 30

I am sorry about this one Hitler is not allowed to grill at cookouts because he always burns the franks

Score: 4

What does hitler call doing his laundry? Purifying the jeans

Score: 4

Hitler walked into a bar. Just kidding, it was actually a Pole.

Score: 3

What video game did Hitler play before starting WWII? Mein Kraft

Score: 4

If Hitler were alive today, he'd hate playing Minecraft Whenever he'd start mining diamonds, his generals would yell out "mine fewer!"

Score: 4

So Hitler wrote a book about his favorite piece of furniture Mine kampfy couch

Score: 3

They say Hitler was driven to war because of his addiction to video games He was obsessed with Mein Kraft

Score: 41

Adolf Hitler is judged very harshly by history But at the end of the day, he's the one that killed Hitler.

Score: 4

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