Vegetarian Jokes

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Funniest Vegetarian Jokes

"No thanks. I am a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you a baby.

Score: 5021

My friend really changed when she became a vegetarian... it's like I've never seen herbivore.


edit: I think I summoned the pun cult.

Score: 2017

What do you call a cannibal who only eats coma patients? A vegetarian.

Score: 1576

My friend really changed onced she decided to be a vegetarian It's like I've never known herbivore

Score: 963
Funny Vegetarian Jokes
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This girl said she knew me from the vegetarian restaurant... But I've never met herbivore!

Score: 795

I had to quit my vegetarian diet Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.

Score: 750

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club Which was weird, because I'd never met herbivore.

Score: 495

I'm going out with a girl I met online who's a vegetarian... I've never met *herbivore*


:)

Score: 311

Hear that Bruce Lee had a vegetarian son? Brock Lee.

Score: 298

My friend set me up on a blind date with her vegetarian friend but I’m kind of nervous... I’ve never met herbivore.

Score: 244

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club but I’d never met herbivore.

Score: 155

When a vegetarian turns into a zombie, what does it eat? Coma patients.

Score: 154

This girl came up to me today and said she recognized me from Vegetarian Club. I was a bit confused, seeing how I'd never met herbivore.

Score: 148

Anyone hear about the transsexual lion that became a vegetarian? He was a her before.

Score: 140

"Have you seen my vegetarian girlfriend?" "No, I have not seen herbivore."

Score: 120

I met this vegetarian girl who said we knew each other But I never met herbivore.

Score: 119

A woman once said she recognized me from the vegetarian club But I'd never met herbivore.

Score: 118

(OC) one I thought up this morning What did the vegetarian lion say before going hunting?

"Lettuce prey"

Score: 106

The statement "You are what you eat" isn't really true. If you eat a vegetarian, you probably aren't a vegetarian.

Score: 99

What was Bruce Lees vegetarian brothers name? Broco Lee

Score: 88

I met this vegetarian girl yesterday i had never met herbivore

Score: 82

I met this vegetarian and she looks very familiar Seems like I met herbivore

Score: 72

Did you know Bruce Lee had a son other than Brandon? He was a famous vegetarian. His name was Brock.

Score: 71

This girl reckons she met me at the vegetarian club But I've never met herbivore.

Score: 68

This woman said she met me in a vegetarian restaurant But i never met herbivore

Score: 63

What do vegetarian zombies eat? GRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!

Score: 61

Have you met my vegetarian girlfriend? No, I've never met herbivore.

Score: 61

A girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from the local vegetarian restaurant...... I'm very confused as I've never met herbivore.

Score: 60

I think my girlfriend might be a vegetarian... ...because I've never met a girl like herbivore.

Score: 57

What did the epileptic vegetarian always have for dinner? Seizure salad...

Score: 42

What's it called when a vegetarian starts eating meat again? Losing your veginity.

Score: 39

What kind of joke do you tell to a vegetarian? One they've never herbivore.

Score: 34

What do you call a cannibal that only eats coma patients? Vegetarian

Score: 33

"No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.

Score: 32

What do vegetarian zombies eat? Grains

Score: 28

My friend changed a lot when she became a vegetarian ...it's like I've never seen herbivore.

Score: 28

My friend has really changed since she became a vegetarian. It's like I've never seen herbivore.

Score: 26

What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grainsss...

Score: 18

What do you call a cannibal who only eats comatose people? A vegetarian.

Score: 17

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New Vegetarian Jokes

Found out my cousin is a vegetarian now. The lengths he goes to have his wife swallow.

Score: 0

How do you find out if someone is a vegetarian? Don't worry, they will let you know as soon as they can.


Last week, I told this joke a colleague who just had proudly told me he's vegetarian now. We both had a very good laugh.

Score: 2

A Republican, Christian, Vegetarian and the Nicest man ever walks into a bar And only orders water because Mr. Rogers didn't drink

Score: 13

Why would someone want to start a vegetarian keto diet? To reduce their carb-in footprint.

Score: 1

What do zombies vegetarian eat? GRAAAAAAAAAAAINSSSS!

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I was on a vegetarian diet then I switched to vegan. The lack of protein in their diets make them a lot easier to catch

Score: 9

A vegetarian walks into a barber shop I would tell you the rest but it’s too quorny.

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What did the epileptic vegetarian have for supper? Seizure salad

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I just became a vegetarian and I'm trying some new meatless options, come to find out I like everything but seitan. I'm just not a fan of religion in my food. I believe in a firm separation of church and plate.

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Today, a vegetarian girl said she recognized me, but I think I've never met herbivore

Score: 10

What do you call a Cannibal who only eats retards? A vegetarian

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TIL that 'vegetarian' is an old Indian word It means 'lousy hunter'.

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What's the difference between a lion and a vegetarian? A lion only eats meat and can't talk and a vegetarian only eats plants and won't shut up about it.

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For a Dutch vegetarian.. Meat is the worst

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Why are satanists vegetarian? Because they worship seitan.

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My friend asked me if I'd go on a date with his vegetarian friend. "I dunno", I replied "never met herbivore"

^^^^^^sorry

Score: 17

What type of meat would a vegetarian priest eat? Nun

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What did the homicidal vegetarian say? I would kale for some salad.

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What do you call a vegetarian Viking A nor-vegan!

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What's the hardest part of going vegetarian? Giving up cold turkey

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A woman once said she recognized me from the vegetarian club... But I had never met herbivore.

Score: 15

A vegetarian was very angry with her son, who became a butcher. She's got a lot of beef right now.

Score: 12

What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graaiiinsss....

Score: 13

If there were two vegetarian rappers Could they still have beef? Or would they squash it!

Score: 6

Why did the vegetarian hot dog cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!

Score: 17

Who knew Peter Frampton was such a committed vegetarian? Always singing "I want you to show me the whey."

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What did the vegan say to the vegetarian? I'm better than you.

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I really regret becoming a vegetarian It was a big missed steak.

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My friend really changed since she became a vegetarian... It's like I've never seen herbivore.

Score: 7

what do you call a vegetarian restaurant with lots of big windows? a vegi-terratium...

Score: 2

I bought my girlfriend a book called Cheap and Easy Vegetarian Cooking Which is great for her, because not only is she a vegetarian...

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How do you call a vegetarian spy? A Spynach

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I'm curious what my vegetarian friend will bring to the superbowl party tonight. Hopefully it's an apology.

Score: 4

TIFU by accidentally giving my vegetarian girlfriend my Italian Sandwich from quizno's instead of her Veggie Delight Sandwich. Oops wrong sub.

Score: 7

Vegetarian is an ancient Native Indian word meaning "bad hunter".

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What was the cannibal's favorite part about the Vegetarian dish? The Vegetarian

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Why do you think I dated a vegetarian? So I can get my salad tossed

Score: 3

Do you know that in some ancient American Indian language the word "vegetarian".... ...the word "vegetarian" means "a very bad hunter" ?

Score: 10

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