Pasta Jokes

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Funniest Pasta Jokes

COVID-19 is like Pasta Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will be a pizza history.




Edit: Thank you for getting this on the front page!

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. you should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta

My sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face as I drove pasta

My wife didn't believe me when i said I'd made a car from spaghetti Should've seen her face when I drove pasta

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta

Funny Pasta Jokes

My wife just left me because of my fetish with pasta I'm feeling cannelloni right now

Did you hear about the famous Italian chef that recently died? He pasta way.

I was choking on some alphabet pasta when a lady asked if I needed help. She took the words right out of my mouth.

What kind of pasta is served at Forrest Gumps restaurant? Penn-ay!

My girlfriend dumped me over my love for pasta And now I'm feeling canaloni

Did you hear about the chef that died? He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will become a pizza history.

Corona virus is just like pasta The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.

My friend bet me $100 I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti You should've seen her face when I drove pasta

Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta way :(

My sister told me I couldn't make a bicycle out of spaghetti You should have seen her face when i rode pasta

I got fired from my job at the pasta factory after a fusilli mistakes.

Did you hear about the woman who died in an Italian restaurant? She pasta way.

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way. Although we cannoli do so much, he will forever be a pizza history. His wife? Cheese still not over it. Just goes to show here today, gone tomato. Lets send olive our prayers to the family.

I bet my sister that I could make a car out of spaghetti.... ...you should have seen her face when I drove pasta

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way last night.

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You shoulda seen the look on her face when I drove pasta

My wife left me because I kept touching pasta
inappropriately... Now I'm feeling cannelloni

What kind of pasta sauce does Trump LOVE!!! Putin-esca

I made this up myself just now.

Did you hear about the Italian man who died? He pasta way... ...now he's a pizza history.

My wife laughed at me when I told her I was going to make a car out of spaghetti You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta

My girlfriend broke up with me because of my weird pasta touching fetish... I'm feeling *cannelloni* right now...

My mum was upset when I put ginger in the pasta last night I guess she liked that cat

Did you hear about the girl who died in the Italian restaurant? She pasta way.

My wife said she'd leave me if I didn't stop eating Pasta Now I'm feeling cannelloni

My girlfriend and I spent $40 on a pesto pasta It was worth every penne

Did you hear about the guy who died from eating spaghetti? He pasta way.

My wife left me because I couldn't control my pasta touching fetish... I'm feeling cannelloni right now

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. I should've seen the look on her face as i drove pasta !

Have you heard about the Italian chef? He pasta way

My girlfriend didn't believe me when I said I could make a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face when I drove pasta

Did you guys hear about the Italian chef who had food poisoning? He pasta way.

My sister didn't think I could build a car out of spaghetti You should've seen her face when I drove pasta

I just got fired from the pasta factory :( I made a fusili mistakes.

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New Pasta Jokes

Did you hear about the dead Italian? I don't know how he died. He just kinda pasta way.

Guy 1: Hey! Did you hear about the chef that died? Friend: What? No!
Guy 1: Yeah! He pasta way
Friend: you’re not funny.
Guy 1: His legacy will become a pizza history!
Friend: Shut up!
Guy 1: He ran out of thyme!
Fiend: why am I friends with you?

I didn't understand what my wife meant when she told me I was holding the bag of pasta upside down... Then the Penne dropped

I forget where I heard it but I didn’t make this. Did you hear my uncle died?

Oh no.

Yeah, he was a chef. He just pasta way so quickly. But hey, you cannoli do so much. His life will remain a pizza history.

Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef? He pasta way. Looks like he ran out of thyme

My wife once told me I can’t build a car out of pasta. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta

Did you hear about the pasta and its cooking water? Their relationship was strained.

What did the ravioli play on his birthday? Pasta Parcel.

What kind of pasta doesn't belong An impasta

Which party game do Italians like most? Pasta parcel

Did you hear about the accident at the milk noodle factory? One of the workers fell into the machinery and they weren't able to stop it in time. He's unfortunately pasta whey.

What's "Hasta la vista, baby" in Italian? Pasta la pizza, baby

What's Forrest Gump favourite type of pasta Penne

After an astronaut fell into a black hole, an official from NASA was explaining the situation to his, now widowed, ex-wife. "What do you mean he was spaghettified?" The widow interjects.

The official replies, "I'm sorry, Mam. Your husband has... Pasta way..."

What is it called when an Italian hooker farts? Pasta toot.

I love eating food at midnight It's pasta bed time!

I taught my son about gravity by throwing pasta and sauce at the ceiling He didn't get it at first, but it wasn't long before the penne dropped.

Italians don't die... They pasta away.

Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta a way. Then a man come along prehending to be him. Everyone knew he was a in-pasta

Italians don’t die they... Pasta way

What do you call a pair of pasta magicians? Penne and Tagliateller

What did the pasta that grew up in the streets tell his kids? I grew up in the spaghetto.

A pasta chef was locked out of his restaurant He had gnocchi.

Did you hear about the COVID-19 spreading like crazy in Italy? Looks like it's being pasta around.

Italians should lay off the penne and linguine for a while. It's the obvious cause for why so many have pasta way.

The coronavirus is striking everywhere All the Italians have pasta way

Why are people buying out all the pasta/macaroni products? Because when you are in lockdown.. A nice bowl can pasta time quicker

Edit: removed make :)

PSA on Hoarding and Panic buying due to Covid-19 Due to the current pasta shortage, the government has asked people not to panic buy based to the actions of a fusilli individuals.

Corona virus is much like pasta Invented by the Chinese.

Spread by the Italians.

Due to the coronavirus, there has been a shortage of pasta in shops. The government is urging the public not to panic buy based on the actions of a fusilli individuals.

Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta All because of a fusilli people

Coronavirus is like pasta It emerged in China, but Italy spread it to the world

Coronavirus has hit Italy hard. That's 6 people who have pasta way.

Did you hear about the Italian chef that just died? He pasta away

„Man you heard about that Virus Outbreak in Italy?“ „Yeah man, looks like it’s being pasta round“

What do you call a fastidious Italian pasta maker? Rigour Tony

Very good tea and pasta joke What is your favorite type of tea?







Spaghett-tea


Thank you

Did you heard about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way

Italian people don't die. They pasta way.

Did you hear about the guy who dies from eating spaghetti ? He pasta away

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Long Pasta Jokes

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Sending olive my prayers to the family. His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it. You never sausage a tragic thing.

Did you hear about the Italian Chef who died?

He pasta way.
I never sausage a tragic thing.
He is now a pizza history.
Sending olive my support to his family.
We cannoli do so much though.
I feel for his wife. Cheese still not over it.
I guess he just ran out of thyme.

I used to know an Italian chef.

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I feel horrible, he just ran out of thyme.

I am sending olive my love to his friends. His wife is really upset too. Cheese crying. He died fusilli reasons. I never sausage a tragic situation.

it was a farfalle from grace.

Cheesy Jokes/ Lame Jokes. They make my day.

How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.

Why did the cookie go to hospital?
Because he was feeling a little crummy.

Why was the mushroom happy?
Because he was a fungi.

How do you organise a party in space?
You planet.

How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party?
He had no body to go with.

Hear about the Italian chef?
He pasta way.

What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing they just waved.

Did you hear about the movie constipated?
It never came out.

Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta away
We cannoli do so much,
His legacy will become a pizza history.
Here today gone tomato.
How sad he ran out of thyme,
Sending olive my prayers to the family.
His wife is really upset, Cheese still not over it.
You never saussage a tragic thing.
Because
some people just want to watch the world burn!

Two Hungry Soldiers (Disgusting)

After a long, big battle , there are two enemy soldiers left on the battlefield. They decide to make peace and look for food because they are very, VERY hungry. They look food for 2 hours but cannot find something.

Soldier 1 says " I can't take this anymore!" and walks to a nearby dead soldier. Other one follows, curious. Soldier 1 takes his knife and cuts the dead soldiers belly. Behold, half digested pasta.

Both soldiers very hungry and disgusted, Soldier 1 asks Soldier 2 if he wants some. Soldier 2 declines and watchs in disgust as Soldier 1 finishes his meal.


After 10 minutes, Soldier 2 says "Dude, there was some hair in your pasta." Soldier 1 vomits his entire food. Immediatly, Soldier 2 eats that food. Then turns around to his new friend and says "Thanks, cold pasta disgusts me."

I work as a spy for the US government.

One of my more deadly assignments involved going after a mad scientist in Italy. I was having dinner with one of my contacts over some delicious cheesy rigatoni. Then, out of nowhere, I was hit by a shrink ray and tossed into my food with the sound of evil laughter. Fraught by the perils of steaming hot carbs around me, I knew that for now, escape would have to be my mission.

Mission in pasta bowl.

3 Construction Workers

Alanzo, Carlos and John are three construction workers are sitting on a high up beam of their nearly finished skyscrapers. Opening his lunchbox and seeing pasta, Alanzo curses, "I swear if my wife makes me pasta again, I will throw myself off this building." Carlos opens his lunchbox to see burritos, "I'm with you, I'm tired cold burritos everyday. If I see burritos again, I will jump." John opens his lunchbox, "I got bologna and cheese sandwich again. I will jump if I get this again.

The next day, Alanzo, Carlos and John are sitting together, ready to open their lunches. Taking a deep breath, Alanzo opens his lunchbox and sees pasta.With a sigh, he stands up and throws himself off the skyscraper to his death. Carlos opens his lunch box to see a burrito. Wiping away a tear, he stands and throws himself to his death. John opens his lunchbox and finds bologna and cheese sandwich. He stands and throws himself off the beam.

At the funeral, Alanzo's wife cries, "If I knew he was tired of my pasta, I would have never made it for him and he would never had jumped." Next to her, Carlos's wife is crying, "If I knew my Carlos didn't like my burritos, I would never had made them and he would never had jumped." Both women look at John's wife, "Well, don't look at me. He made his own lunch."

A Mexican, an Italian and a blonde American construction worker.

A Mexican, an Italian and a blonde American construction worker are all sitting to have lunch on the 20th floor of a building they are working on. The Mexican opens his lunch and sees he has tacos. He looks at the other and says "tacos again, I am so sick of tacos, if I have tacos in my lunch again tomorrow I am going to jump." The Italian opens his lunch and sees he has pasta he says ""pasta again, I am so sick of pasta, if I have pasta in my lunch again tomorrow I am going to jump." The American opens his lunch and sees he has a ham sandwich. He looks at it and states" a ham sandwich again. If I have a ham sandwich tomorrow, I'm gonna jump."

The next day they all sit down to eat, the Mexican opens his lunch, and sure enough it's tacos, so he throws his lunch then jumps from the building. The Italian opens his lunch and see he has pasta and of course, he jumps. The American opens his lunch and sees a ham sandwich, so he jumps.

The wives decide to have a 3 person funeral, at the funeral you hear the Mexicans wife screaming, "why did he just not tell me he didn't want tacos, why...why...

The Italians wife is a mess screaming about never making pasta again, that if he had told her, she never would have packed him pasta....

The Blonde Americans wife is sitting the calmly, and everyone begins to look at her funny. She simply looks back and says, "hey. Don't look at me, he packed his own lunches."

Three men stop for lunch

Three men stop for lunch on a construction site while working on the 10th floor.

The first one, Chang from China says "I am so bored with what I have been having for lunch. If I have noodles again for lunch, I am going to jump off the building" And he opens his lunch to find noodles, and promptly jumps off the from the 10th floor to his death.
Mario from Italy says "I agree - I am so sick of pasta for lunch, if I find my lunch is pasta I will jump off the building and kill myself" He opens his lunch bag to find pasta and promptly stands up and jumps off the same as Chang to his death.
Paddy the Irishman says "I agree with my friends, if I have potatoes in my lunch I will jump too" Opening his bag he finds potatoes and jumps from the 10th floor, same as his two colleagues.

There was a combined funeral for Chang, Mario and Paddy, and their grieving widows get talking

"Oh if I had known Chang was tired of noodles I would have packed a different lunch! if only he had told me" Chang's widow remarked
"Yes if Mario had only said that he wanted something different I would have not given him pasta all the time!" stated Mario's wife
"I don't get it - Paddy packed his own fookin lunch...."

Did you hear about the Italian Chef?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. He was a real pizza work. You never sausage a guy. Sad about his brother, the broadway actor, in jail because he tried to rigatoni. His friend, the french chef, didn't make it to work- he couldn't make the escargot.

An Italian, Polish and Irish man were eating lunch at work one day

The Italian opens up his lunch bag and says, "pasta? Again? If I get pasta one more time I'ma gonna killa myself".
The polish guy opens up his lunch box and sees he got a sausage for lunch. He proceeds to make a similar promise, "if I get one more sausage for lunch I'm gonna jump off this buildin".
The Irish guy, opens his lunch and he gets potatoes. "If I get potatoes one more time im gonna hang myself"

Next day, Italian guy opens up his lunch, sees he got pasta, and kills himself. Polish guy opens up his lunch, sees that he got a sausage, jumps off the building.
The Irish guy opens up his lunch, sees that he got potatoes and proceeds to hang himself.

The next day at the funeral, the Irish guy's wife is crying while the polish and Italian widows try to console her. The Irish wife says "I just don't understand, he made the lunch himself!"

Did you hear about the Italian chef?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Sending olive my prayers to the family. His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it. You never sausage a tragic thing.

The last week or two I've been really obsessed with mixing things.

The last week of two I've been really obsessed with mixing things. I've been mixing anything and everything I can find, from pasta and sauce to the garbage in the trash can and the clothes in my drawer.


The weirdest thing is that when I start mixing something I have a hard time stopping! I'll get mesmerized and just keep staring at it until I'm eventually able to snap out of it!


I don't know what's going on guys, I think I might be going stir crazy.

[long] Another blond guy joke...

Three best friends worked in construction together on the same crew. They were working on the 20th floor of a building when they stopped for their lunch break. They sat on the edge of the building, legs dangling over the edge, enjoying the view as they ate their lunches.
Guido opened his lunch box and yelled in frustration, "Pasta! Pasta! Every day it's pasta! If I get pasta in my lunch tomorrow, I'm gonna jump!"
Jose then opened his lunch and exclaimed, "Tortillas!! Tortillas! Every day it's tortillas! If I get tortillas in my lunch tomorrow, I'm gonna jump, too!"
Then Bob (the blond) opened his lunch and said, "Bologna sandwich! Bologna sandwich! Every day it's a bologna sandwich! If I get a bologna sandwich in my lunch tomorrow, I'm jumping, too!"
The next day, they sit down on the edge of the building for lunch.
Guido opens his lunch box, sees pasta, and jumps to his death.
Jose opens his lunch box and sees tortillas and also jumps to his death.
Bob opens his, finds a bologna sandwich, and jumps to his death.
Since they were such close friends, their wives decide to have a joint funeral for them.
At the funeral, the wives are lamenting their loss. Guido's wife says, "If only I'd known, I would have packed something other than pasta in his lunch!" And she cries in anguish.
Jose's wife says, "If only I'd known, I would have packed something other than tortillas in his lunch!" And she cries hysterically.
Bob's wife just stands there, nodding her head. The other two wives look at her incredulously at her lack of emotion.
"Don't look at me," Bob's wife said. "He packed his own lunch."

Interesting Title Here

Pun time!!

Q: What do you call dental x-rays? A: Tooth pics.

Q: What do you call a group of babies? A: An infantry.

Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? A: He pasta away.

Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose.

Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A: A dinosnore.

Q: Which way did the programmer go? A: He went data way.

Q: How does NASA organize a party? A: They planet.

Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A: Same middle name.

Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye? A: Between you and me, something smells.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn't have the guts.

Q: What do you call an alligator that wears a vest? A: An investigator.

Q: Are mountains just funny? A: No. They are hill areas.

Q: Why didn't the bicycle stand up on its own? A: It was two tyred.

Q: What did the window feel when it was hit by a stone? A: It felt the pane.

What do you call the place where bad noodles live?

The Spaghetto

What do you call noodles who can’t remember anything?

Forgetti


I’d like to apologize for wasting your time with these terrible jokes, just trying to get pasta really boring morning.

I hope my internet points don’t take a hit too, that would cost me a pretty penne.

Did you guys hear about the Italian Chef that died recently?

>He pasta way.
>>We cannoli do so much.
>>>His legacy will become a pizza history.
>>>>Here today, gone tomato.
>>>>>How sad that he ran out of thyme.
>>>>>>Sending olive my prayers to the family.
>>>>>>>His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it.
>>>>>>>>You never sausage a tragic thing.
>>>>>>>>>I hope he wasn't Alfredo the end.
>>>>>>>>>>Did he die on the job? His family might be entitled to some compennesation.
>>>>>>>>>>>I doubt he'll see a penne of it.

An Italian mom visits her son and his roomate in his apartment..

... During supper, his roommate gets up and go to the bathroom and during this time her mother asks: "So, are you in a relationship with her?"

"Ugh!" replies the son, "Mamma, I told you she is just a friend.."

"Mmh Mmh.." says the mom.

The supper ends and all is jolly. A few days later, the son ask his roommate: "Hey, did you see the pasta drain? I can't find it!". After a few minutes of searching he decides to ask his mother if perhaps she took since he used it when she was here last.

" Mom, Did you by any chance take the pasta drain thingy? " To which she replies:

"If you were sleeping in your own bed like you are supposed to, you would have found it already!"

My buddy went to the bull fights

My buddy returned from Spain a few days ago and was telling me about his trip. He said he went to the bull fights and later found the best Italian food he had ever had right outside the stadium. The pasta was fresh, the sauce was amazing, and the meatballs were the most tender and well seasoned he had ever had. On his last day of vacation he said he wanted to go back to the Italian restaurant so he did and ordered the same dish. They brought it out and the pasta was fresh, the sauce was even better, but the meatballs were much much smaller. He ate them and they were still amazing. As he was leaving he was asked if his meal was as good as the first visit. He told them everything was great but he didn't understand one thing. He said the first time he came in the meat balls were the size of tennis ball and this time they were like marbles. The owner says, "ah yes, sometimes the bull wins and sometimes that matador wins".

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