Fathers Day Jokes

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Funniest Fathers Day Jokes

Since it’s Fathers Day, my wife asked if I could tell dad jokes all day tomorrow. I told her I don’t know anyone named Morrow.

Funny Fathers Day Jokes

I told my wife she had to buy me a fathers day present. I mean, why should I suffer just because she had a miscarrage?

So I have a pretty good fathers day joke Can't wait to tell my dad when he finally brings the milk home

Everyone keeps wishing a Happy Father's Day to "The Best Dad in the World." I'm flattered. But I hope everyone wishes their own dad a Happy Fathers Day as well.

For fathers day, I bought my dad a $100 gift card to the Apple Store... He said "Thanks for the phone charger, son."

Last September my wife asked me to put a load in the dishwasher. So long story short, happy fathers day to me.

Poor Caitlyn Jenner. She missed Mothers Day & Fathers Day.

What did the Frenchman say when he got hit by an egg? Oeuf.

A dad joke for Australian fathers day!

Happy Fathers Day! Me: Happy Fathers Day!

Pop: Thanks!

Me: I'll call you later.

Pop: Don't call me later, call me Dad :')

...

How is my dad supposed to celebrate Fathers day When it's on a Sonday

What is the most confusing day in Harlem Fathers day

Happy Fathers Day to all you mother fuckers!

Why did the starship captain buy a sub-lightspeed propulsion system that he didn't need? It was an impulse purchase.

For anyone who isn't aware, this is a star trek fathers day joke.

Palm Sunday For Dads ... Fathers Day,
For mothers ... Mothers Day,
For Lovers ... Valentines Day
For Wankers there is Palm Sunday

For Fathers Day I took my Dad out. It only took seven bullets.

I wanted eggs for breakfast but I was short in time. So I had to scramble.

Happy Fathers Day.

What did the bull say to his son when he left for college? Bison.


Happy fathers day.

What do you call Mass Confusion Fathers Day in Detroit

Bought a litre of tip-ex today. Huge mistake.


(in honour of all the dads out there, happy fathers day - UK)

Happy fathers day says my ex

In honor of Fathers Day, Im going to tell Dad Jokes...... Lets see if he laughs.

(Fathers day joke) what makes a joke a dad joke? When the joke becomes a parent.

TEENAGERS: Get something that will make your dad really happy this fathers day. A Flat.

what's the definition of confusion? Fathers day in Detroit.

White people are always butthurt about MLK day and black history month. They always say, "It'd be racist of we had a holiday." They don't understand we do.... Fathers Day.

For grandfathers day I decided to take out my grandfather The coffin was a little heavy but we had a great time

My sister wished me a happy fathers day... I was so scared and frightened that I froze for an entire minute.
She looked confused for a second then laughed, she apologised for mixing me up and my twin brother

You can't choose your father... ... but you can choose who you call daddy.



Happy Fathers Day!

Whats the most deserted place on fathers day? The visitation ward.

The Day Was Fathers Day, However nobody attended the celebration. Only Marvel Characters were invited

Whats the most confusing day in Compton? Fathers Day!

Its fathers day so a kid asked his dad to tell dad jokes today The father said who is day?

Just another fathers day joke Just wrote this to wish yall a happy fathers day,

The day when 80% of people dont know whom to wish, and the same day when 20% of the perppe are scared someone might come and wish them...

Found out I was dyslexic the hard way. Apparently the saying is actually “wrap it before you tap it”...happy fathers day!

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Long Fathers Day Jokes

Fathers Day Joke

A small boy was at the zoo with his father. They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.

“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”

“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.

“ …Which bus would I take home?”

What type of candy do you buy for...

What type of candy do you buy for a comedian?

...Snickers

What type of candy do you buy for a happy horse owner?

...Jolly Rancher

What type of candy do you buy for a rap star?

...M&Ms

What type of candy do you buy for a divorced wife with no prenup?

...100 Grand

What type of candy do you buy for hasidic wasps?

...JewJewBees

What type of candy do you buy for study group?

...Nerds

What type of candy do you buy for breast enhancement surgery?

...Mounds

...

and finally

...

What type of candy do you buy for your horny incestuous dad for fathers day?

...Blow Pops!

In honor of Fathers Day, my dad's favorite joke

An Indian goes to the dentist to get a root canal. The dentist asks if the Indian would like any gas.

"No." reply's the Indian. "This will be nothing. I have already felt the worst pain possible and survived."

So the dentist performs the whole procedure without any gas or pain killers and the Indian doesn't flinch even once. When he was finished the dentist says "Wow. I have never seen anything like that. Not even a hint of pain on your face at any point. How did you do that?"

"As I said," relied the Indian, "I have already felt and survived the worst pain possible."

"What was that?" asked the dentist.

"One day," replied the Indian, "I was hunting in the woods, heard the call of nature, squatted down, did not see bear trap."

"Wow," replied the dentist wincing, "That would be the worst pain."

"No," replied the Indian, "That was not worst pain."

"Then what was?" asked the dentist.

"Worst pain come when get to end of chain."

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