Racial Jokes

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Funniest Racial Jokes

Of all the racial slurs, "chinaman" has to be the laziest. A black guy probably came up with it...

What do you get when you get a bunch of white supremacists drunk? Racial slurs.

Had an idea for a Scrabble like game where you can only use racial slurs as words. The object is to see who can out trump who.

Funny Racial Jokes

I was visiting a mental hospital. Various patients shouted racial slurs at me. I knew this country had issues with institutionalized racism.

Is there really racial inequality in America? Because in my neighbourhood as a kid, EVERY time a white kid got a new bike, a black kid got a new bike.

What is a pirates favorite racial slur? The hard arrrrr

A Hispanic, African-American, Jewish, Native American, and Asian man were walking down the street. They were part of a parade that celebrated racial equality.

Racial issues in America are very complex They're not just black and white

Why do I watch the Cosby show? I enjoy dark humour.



Yes, this was both a rapist and racial joke.

If China had $1 for every time they oppressed a racial minority... They’d become an economic global power.




Wait...

I'm not a fan of Starbucks new racial bias training I just got thrown out for ordering a black coffee

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to the movie execs when he found out they wanted more racial diversity in the Terminator movies? I’ll be black.

What do you call a bird that drunkenly conveys a compelling perspective on racial hatred? Tequila Mockingbird.

My dad had the worst temper when he watched sports. One day it got so bad he ripped off his shirt and began shouting racial slurs... Really ruined my little league game.

If I owned a restaurant back in the era of racial segregation, do you know what our motto would be? "The customer's always white."

Edit: Aw, come on. Is that racism or because it's not a repost!

Do all black people have a problem with slavery? Racial Or is it just mine

My dyslexic support group held a slam poetry competition Doug got first with a great piece about racial tensions in America.

Anna got second with a touching monologue about women's rights.

I got third by smashing an urn.

A beacon of true racial equality "In this time of being divided by race we should be more like Jeffrey dahmer, who only saw the color of people as a light pink center with a nice sear"

They always say “eat your greens” and “eat an orange”, But try to eat one black and it’s ‘cannibalism’ and ‘a racial crime’!

You know, living through these tumultuous times politically reminds of a saying my great-great grandfather always use to say... (*Insert racial pejorative here*)

Gotta love racial jokes Q. What do black guys have that’s double the size of white men and gets bigger every time they touch a woman?
A. Their criminal record.

What's a racial epithet for a white duck? Quacker!

I don't see why people dislike racial diversity I'm getting bored of watching the 100 meter dash.

An Englington man was briefly detained and questioned for yelling racial epitaphs in a local park. When questioned he told officers he was walking around the park looking for his lost dog....Snickers.

What places have the least racial tensions? Bakeries, there are brownies and crackers there and yet they never fight.

Moulinyan is the funniest racial slur... Because Italians couldn't help but involve food in their racism.

What do you get if you cross a black guy with a racial slur? Shot.

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Long Racial Jokes

The class comes in from recess and gets a spelling quiz...

"Jimmy, what did you do during recess?" asks the teacher.
"I played in the sand box with Sally!"
"That's great! If you can spell 'sand' on the board, you get a cookie!"
Jimmy does and gets his reward.
"Sally, what did you do during recess?"
"I played in the sand box with Jimmy!"
"Wow! If you can spell 'box' on the board, you get a cookie!"
Sally does and gets a cookie.
"Jamal, what did you do during recess?"
"I tried to play with Sally and Jimmy but they just threw rocks at me."
"Oh my! That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination' on the board, you get a cookie!"

A teacher calls her first grade class

from recess. She goes up to little Sally and asked, "Sally, what did you do at recess?" "I played in the sand box." "Good. Now, if you can spell the word 'sand' on the black board, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." So she spells the word right and gets a cookie. Then comes in little Billy. "Billy, what did you do at recess?" "I played in the sand box with Sally." "Good. Now, if you can spell the word 'box' on the black board, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." So he spells it right and gets a cookie. Then comes in little Mohammed from recess. "Mohammed, what did you do at recess?" "Billy and Sally threw rocks at me!" "Hmm, that sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination', I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."

Recess and cookies

An elementary teacher asks her students what they did during recess.

Teacher: Johnny what did you do doing recess?

Johnny: I played in the sandbox.

Teacher: Okay, if you can write the word "sand" on the board, you get a cookie.

Johnny writes "sand" and gets his cookie.

Teacher: Alright Suzie, what did you do?

Suzie: I played in the sandbox with Johnny.

Teacher: Okay, if you can write the word "box" on the board, you get a cookie.

Suzie writes "box" and gets her cookie.

Teacher: Jamal, what did you do?

Jamal: Well, I tried to play with Johnny and Suzie, but they kicked sand in my face.

Teacher: Oh no, that sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can write "blatant racial discrimination" on the board, you get a cookie.

A first grade class walks in from recess...

The teacher asks Sarah: What did you do doing recess?

Sarah replied: I played in the sandbox.

The teacher says: “That’s good. Go to the blackboard and if you can write ‘sand’ correctly I’ll give you a fresh-baked cookie.

She does and gets a cookie. The teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.

Morris said: “I played with Sarah in the sandbox”

The teacher says: “Good, if you can write ‘box’ correctly on the blackboard I’ll give you a fresh-baked cookie”

Morris does and gets a cookie. The teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess.

He says: “I tried to play in the sandbox with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me.”

The teacher says: “Threw rocks at you?That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go to the blackboard and write ‘blatant racial discrimination’. I’ll give you a cookie.

A first grade class comes in from recess.

The teacher asks Emily, "What did you do at recess?"

Emily says, "I played in the sand box."

The teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie." She does and gets a cookie.

Next the teacher asks James what he did at recess. James says, "I played with Emily in the sand box."

The teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box' correctly on blackboard, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie." James does, and gets a cookie.

The teacher then asks Tyrone what he did at recess. He says, "I tried to play with Emily and James in the sand box, but they just threw rocks at me."

The teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like indisputable racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'indisputable racial discrimination,' I'll give you a cookie."

Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Singaporean, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Monk, an Italian, a Serb, a Russian and an Ethiopian went to a bar.

The bouncer said, "I'm sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai"

A class comes in from recess and is given a spelling test.

"Jimmy, what did you do during recess" asks the teacher. "I played in the sandbox with Sally" says Jimmy. "That's great! If you can spell 'sand' on the board, you get a cookie!" Jimmy does and gets his reward.
"Sally, what did you do during recess?" "I played in the sand box with Jimmy!" "Wow! If you can spell 'box' on the board, you get a cookie!" Sally does and gets a cookie.
"Jamal, what did you do during recess?" "I tried to play with Sally and Jimmy but they just threw rocks at me." "Oh my! That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination' on the board, you get a cookie!"

When the kids came back from recess, the teacher announced a pop spelling quiz...

"Pop spelling quiz, class!" She said, and called on little Johnny.

"What did you do during recess, Johnny?" Asked the teacher. Johnny replied "I played in the sandbox with Suzy and Leroy" "Ok, spell 'sand' and you will get a cookie!" Says the teacher. Johnny spells it correctly and gets his cookie.

"And what did you do on recess, Suzy?" Suzy replied that she played in the sandbox with Johnny and Leroy. "Spell 'box' and you will get a cookie." Says the teacher. Suzy correctly spelled box and got her cookie.

"Leroy, what did you do during rwcess?" The teacher asked. He replied, with tears in his eyes "Well, I tried to play in the sandbox with Johnny and Suzy, but they just threw rocks at me and called me a N$%%ER!"

The teacher looked at Leroy and said "Well my goodness! That sounds like blatant racial discrimination!"

"So, Leroy, spell 'blatant racial discrimination' and you'll get a cookie!"

A teacher calls her first grade class

from recess. She goes up to little Kally and asked, "Kally, what did you do at recess?" "I played in the sand box." "Good. Now, if you can spell the word 'sand' on the black board, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." So she spells the word right and gets a cookie. Then comes in little Jilly. "Jilly, what did you do at recess?" "I played in the sand box with Kally." "Good. Now, if you can spell the word 'box' on the black board, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." So he spells it right and gets a cookie. Then comes in little Mohammed from recess. "Mohammed, what did you do at recess?" "Jilly and Kally threw rocks at me!" "Hmm, that sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination', I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."

Discrimination?

A First-grade class comes in from recess. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at recess?"

Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."

The teacher says, "That's great. Tell you what, go to the blackboard, and if you can write the word 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."

She does and gets a cookie.

The teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.

Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."

The teacher says, "Good. If you can write the word 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."

Morris does, and gets a cookie.

Teacher then asks Leroy what he did at recess.

He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me."

The teacher says, "They threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination.

Tell you what, if you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."

Sandbox Humor

First-grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at recess?"

Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."

Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."

She does and gets a cookie. Teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.

Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."

Teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."

Morris does, and gets a cookie. Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess.

He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me."

Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."

A teacher calls her first grade class in

from recess. She goes up to little Sally and asked, "Sally, what did you do at recess?" "I played in the sand box." "Good. Now, if you can spell the word 'sand' on the black board, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." So she spells the word right and gets a cookie. Then comes in little Billy. "Billy, what did you do at recess?" "I played in the sand box with Sally." "Good. Now, if you can spell the word 'box' on the black board, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." So he spells it right and gets a cookie. Then comes in little Mohammed from recess. "Mohammed, what did you do at recess?" "Billy and Sally threw rocks at me!" "Hmm, that sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination', I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."

A kindergarden class returns from recess...

The teacher asks Suzie, "What did you do doing recess?"

Suzie replied, "I climbed on the monkey bars."

The teacher says, “That’s good. Go to the blackboard and if you can write ‘monkey’ correctly I’ll give you a fresh-baked cookie."

She does and gets a cookie. The teacher asks Benny what he did at recess.

Benny said, “I played with Suzie on the monkey bars”

The teacher says, “Good, if you can write ‘bar’ correctly on the blackboard I’ll give you a fresh-baked cookie”

Benny does and gets a cookie. The teacher then asks Machmoud Abdallah Mustaffa Abdul Bashir Waheed Muhammad III what he did at recess.

He says, “I tried to play with Suzie and Benny, but they threw woodchips at me and called me racial slurs”

The teacher says, “racial slurs? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go to the blackboard and write ‘blatant racial discrimination’. I’ll give you a cookie.

Racial Humor

An Irish man is sitting at a bar, then a Chinese man sits down next to him. The Chinese takes a drink, the the Irish man says to him, "do you know Kung fu?". The Chinese man says, "why because I'm Chinese? That's just racist!". The Irish man says, "No, I ask because you're drinking my beer".

Mohammed goes to school....

The children were returning to class after playtime.

The first child into class was Jack.
''Jack,'' said the teacher, ''what did you do this playtime?''
''I was playing in the sandpit,'' replied Jack.
''How fun! If you can spell 'sand' on the board, you can have a cookie!''
Jack successfully spelled 'sand' on the board and was given a cookie.

Sally was the next child into class.
''Sally,'' said the teacher, ''what did you do this playtime?''
''I played in the sandpit, with Jack,'' replied Sally.
''How fun! If you can spell 'pit' on the board, you can have a cookie!''
Sally successfully spelled 'pit' on the board and was given a cookie.

Finally, Muhammad returned to the class, looking a little upset.
''Muhammad,'' said the teacher, ''what did you do this playtime?''
''Well, I wanted to play in the sandpit with Jack and Sally, but they threw sand at me,'' replied Muhammad.
The teacher gasped and said ''well, that sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can spell blatant racial discrimination on the board, I'll give you a cookie!''

Poor Ajmal.

After playtime, Ms Wilson asks some of her kindergarten kids what they did during playtime.
"What did you do at playtime Tom?"
"I played in the sandpit" said Tom.
"Very good, if you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie!"
Tom spelled sand and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Sally?"
"I played in the sandpit with Tom" said Sally.
"That's nice, if you can spell pit, I'll give you a cookie!"
Sally spelled pit and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Ajmal?"
"I tried to play in the sandpit, but Sally and Tom threw rocks at me!" said Ajmal.
"That sounds like blatant racial discrimination, If you can spell blatant racial discrimination I'll give you a cookie!".

A kindergarten class came back inside from playing at recess

The teacher likes to ask the kids what they did with their free time so he starts with Mary. "Mary, what did you do at recess today?" Mary said that she played in the sandbox. The teacher says, "that sounds like a lot of fun! If you can spell "sand" on the blackboard then you can have a cookie." Mary spells it on the board and received her cookie. Then the teacher asked Billy, "What did you do at recess?" Billy said that he played in the sandbox with Mary. "Well that's great, if you can spell box on the blackboard then you can have a cookie." He spells the word with ease and gets a cookie. Then the teacher asked Jaquan, "Jaquan, what did you do at recess?" He said that he tried to play in the sandbox with Mary and Billy but they just threw stones at him. Appalled, the teacher said "well that sounds like blatant racial discrimination to me! Ok, if you can spell blatant racial discrimination on the blackboard then you can have a cookie."

One day a kid is late to class

Kid: Sorry I'm late

Teacher: Go and sit down and you'll spend your break time in here with me

Kid: Thats not fair, I had an issue with my kitchen appliances

Teacher: Is that meant to be some kind of joke, we will discuss this in your time, not mine

*The teacher turns up to the detention 10 minutes late*

Teacher: Sorry I'm late

Kid: Well why were you late?

Teacher: You see, my kitchen appliances came to life and were misbehaving and using racial slurs

Kid: The pot calling the kettle black

Teacher: How did you know?

A teacher calls up her first grade class from recess

She she says to little Sally
-"Sally, what did you do at recess?"
-"I played in the sand box"
-"If you can spell the word "sand" I'll give you a fresh baked cookie"
So she spells it and enjoys a cookie
Then comes in Jimmy so the teacher says
-"Jimmy, what did you do at recess?"
-"I played in the sandbox with Sally"
-"If you can spell "box" I'll give you a fresh baked cookie"
So he spells it and enjoys a cookie
Then Tyrone comes in
-"Tyrone, what did you do at recess"
-"Sally and Jimmy threw rocks at me!"
-"wow that sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can spell "blatant racial discrimination" I'll give you a fresh baked cookie"

If you can spell...

A first grade teacher is bringing her class in from recess.

Teacher: Jimmy, what did you do outside?

Jimmy: I played in the sandbox

Teacher: Wonderful! If you can spell "sand", you will get a cookie! What did you do Sally?

Sally: I played in the sandbox with Jimmy.

Teacher: Fantastic! If you can spell "box", you will get a cookie! Toby, what did you do?

Toby: I wanted to play in the sandbox, but Sally and Jimmy wouldn't let me because I am black.

Teacher: That sounds like blatant racial discrimination! If you can spell "blatant racial discrimination"...

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