Lunch Box Jokes

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Funniest Lunch Box Jokes

Funny Lunch Box Jokes

My daughter packed a light bulb in her lunch box this morning. I asked her, "why did you put that in there?"

She replied, "I want a light snack."

I just found a fruit roll-up in my pocket That means one of my kids has a grape flavored blunt rap in their lunch box.

Chuck Norris went to a feminist gathering... And came back with well ironed shirt and a lunch box.

Jihadi math university question: Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes. He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the area it will cover after the explosion.

Pakistani Maths Problems are like really really complex Abdul has 3 lunch boxes.

He gives one to Rafiq and another to Hassan.

Calculate the radius of the explosion.

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Long Lunch Box Jokes

An Italian, a Mexican, and a Blonde American are working construction.

The three men eat lunch together each day at the top of the building they are constructing.

The Italian opens his lunchbox and exclaims "Seriously!? Spaghetti again? If my wife packs this one more time, I swear I'm jumping off this building."

The Mexican opens his too. "Tacos again? I'm with you. I'm jumping tomorrow if it happens again."

The blonde opens up his lunch box and pulls out a PB&J sandwich. "Another PB&J!" He cries. "I'm jumping tomorrow too if I get a PB&J in my lunch again."

The next day, the Italian opens his lunch, pulls out a tupperware of spaghetti, and jumps to his death. The Mexican pulls out a bag of tacos, and immediately follows the Italian off of the building. The Blonde pulls out a PB&J, sighs, and jumps to his death as well.

A few days later at the funeral, the Italian and Mexican's wives are in tears. Both exclaim that if they had known, they would have packed something different and the men would still be alive. The women notice the wife of the Blonde, standing there and not shedding a tear.

They ask the wife of the Blonde "How can you not be upset? Your husband is dead because he kept getting the same food!"

The wife of the blonde replies "Don't look at me. He packed his own lunch."

The first blonde GUY joke

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said: "Corned beef and cabbage.
If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch and exclaimed, Burritos again!"
If I get burritos one more time in my lunch, I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again!
If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping off, too."

The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw the corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch bucket, saw the bologna sandwich and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage.
I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," she said. "He makes his own lunch".

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde guy..

...were doing construction work on scaffolding at the 20th floor of a building.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said: "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch and exclaimed, Burritos again!"

If I get burritos one more time in my lunch, I'm ging to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again!
If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping, too."

The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw the corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped, too.
The blonde opened his lunch bucket, saw the bologna sandwich and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage.
I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife.
"Hey, don't look at me," she said. "He makes his own lunch."

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman...

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all builders working on a bridge. The Englishman opens his lunch-box and says, "If I get one more tuna sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The Scotsman opens his lunch box and says, "If I get one more ham sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The Irishman then says, "If I get one more egg sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge."

The next day, all three get the same lunch, all three jump off the bridge, and all three die. At their funeral, the Englishman's wife says, "If only I'd known he didn't like tuna." The Scotsman's wife says, "If only I'd known he didn't like ham." The Irishman's wife says, "I don't understand it. He made his own sandwiches."

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond guy

were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building"

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blond opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."

The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.

The blond opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much.

Everyone turned and stared at the blond's wife.

"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch."

Three construction workers are sitting down to lunch...

They each bring their lunches to to the top of the building.

The first worker says, "Turkey, turkey, turkey. If I have turkey one more time, I'm gonna jump off of this building." He opens his lunch box and finds turkey, so he jumps to his death.

The second worker says, "Tuna, tuna, tuna. If I have tuna one more time, I'm gonna jump off of this building." He opens his lunch box, finds he has tuna, and plummets to the bottom.

The third worker says, "Bologna, bologna, bologna. If I have bologna one more time, I'm gonna jump off of this building." He opens his lunch box and lo and behold- it's bologna. He joins the other two workers on the ground.

Later that day, the news station is interviewing the wives of the three workers. The first two workers' wives both react the same way, "If I had known I never would have packed his lunch like that!"

After much sympathy and condolences they finally get to the third worker's wife to hear what she has to say.

"Don't look at me, he packs his own lunch."

So, a blonde, an asian, and an african american are at lunch at school

The blonde opens up her lunch box and sees a PB&J. She exclaims "If I get PB&J one more time I'm going to kill myself."

The asian girl opens her lunch box and sees rice. She says "If I get rice more time I'm going to kill myself."

The african american girl opens her lunch box and sees chicken. She goes "If I get chicken one more time, I'm going to kill myself."

The next day they're all at lunch and the same thing happens, only they all kill themselves once they've opened they're lunch box and see the same food.

The asian girls parents cry "If only we didn't pack her rice for lunch again!"

The african american girls parents cry "If only we didn't pack her chicken again!"

The blonde girls parents look puzzled and say "I don't know what her problem was, she packed her own lunch."

A German, an Italian and a Newfie are sitting on a steel girder...

...hundreds of feet above the ground, having lunch. The German opens up his lunch box and lets out a groan. "Mein Gott!" he says. "Not wiener schnitzel again! I'm so sick of wiener schnitzel, if I ever have to eat wiener schnitzel for lunch again I'm going to throw myself from this girder."

Then the Italian opens up his lunch box and lets out a cry of disgust. "Mamma mia! Rigatoni con pollo e funghi! Again! I am so sick of rigatoni con pollo e funghi, if I ever have to eat rigatoni con pollo e funghi for lunch again I'm going to throw myself from this girder."

The Newfie opens up his lunch box and lets out a cry of despair. "Don't be telling me," he says. "Seal flipper sandwich! Again! I am so sick of this bleedin' seal flipper sandwich for lunch, if I ever have seal flipper sandwich for lunch again I'll be throwing myself from this girder."

The next day they sat down on the girder for lunch and the German opens up his lunch box. "Gott verdammt," he says. "Wiener schnitzel again! I am so sick of wiener schnitzel..." and he throws himself from the girder and plummets to his death.

The Italian opens up his lunchbox and nearly screams. "Rigatoni con pollo e funghi again! I am so sick of rigatoni con pollo e funghi..." and he throws himself from the girder and plummets to his death.

The Newfie opens up his lunchbox and slaps his forehead in frustration. "Seal flipper sandwich again. I am so sick of seal flipper sandwich..." and he throws himself from the girder and plummets to his death.

At their funerals a few days later the three widows commiserate. "If only I had known," the German widow laments, "I would gladly have made him something else."

"If only he had said something to me," the Italian widow says, "I would have made him anything he wanted."

The Newfie widow looks at both of them, bewildered. "I don't understand," she says. "He makes his own lunch."

Blond man joke

An Irish, Mexican, and blond iron worker were sitting on the top of a skyscraper under construction for their lunch break.

The Irishman opens his lunch box, "Corned beef and cabbage again. If I get this one more time I am going to jump off this roof!"

The Mexican opens his lunch box, "Tacos again. If I get this one more time I am going to jump off this roof!"

The blond opens his lunch box, "A ham and cheese sandwich again. If I get this one more time I am going to jump off this roof!"

The next day the Irishman gets corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican gets tacos and jumps to his death. The blond gets a ham and cheese sandwich and jumps to his death.

At their wake, their wives sit together to mourn the men.

The Irishman's wife laments, "If he would have told me he hated his food I could have made something else."

The Mexican's wife agrees, "I could have made my husband quesadillas or enchiladas."

The women look over at the blond's wife, who responds, "Don't look at me, he made his own lunch."

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman ...

There were three steeplejacks: an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman. They all took their lunch breaks on the construction site hundreds of feet above the ground level.

*The Englishman opens his lunch box*

Englishman: "Not a beef sandwich again! Every single day my wife makes me a beef sandwich and I'm sick of it! I swear, if I get another beef sandwich tomorrow, I'm going to jump."

*The Scotsman opens his lunch box*

Scotsman: "Tuna! Not again! I hate tuna sandwiches! My wife keeps making them for me but I absolutely hate them! I'm with you, one more tuna sandwich and I'll jump."

*The Irishman opens his lunch box*

Irishman: "Unbelievable! Cheese! Another cheese sandwich! That's it! I'm with you guys! One more cheese sandwich and I'm jumping off too!"

During their lunch breaks the next day, they opened their lunch boxes. Unfortunately, the Englishman had a beef sandwich, the Scotsman had a tuna sandwich and the Irishman had a cheese sandwich. Together they jumped off and fell to their deaths.

At the combined funeral the three widows tried to console each other and reflected on the passings of their late husbands.

Englishman's wife: "I can't believe he's gone. I made him beef sandwiches everyday thinking that he liked them but I didn't think it would lead to this."

Scotsman's wife: "I don't understand. He never told me that he disliked tuna sandwiches so much. If only he had have told me, things would be different."

Irishman's wife: "I don't understand either. He made his own sandwiches."

Same Lunch Everyday

A Mexican, Armenian, Korean, and Redneck are construction workers. Every day, there is a bell that sounds at 12:00 PM notifying the workers that it is their lunch break. The workers go on with their day and as soon as the bell rings, they grab their lunches and sit together to eat.

The Mexican opens his lunchbox and says, "Ugh, burrito again?
The Armenian opens his lunchbox and says, "Ugh, kebab again?"
The Korean opens his lunchbox and says, "Ugh, kimchi again?"
The Redneck opens his lunchbox and says, "Ugh, peanut butter again?"

They eat their lunches and carry on with their work. The following day, the same routine continues. They all moan at the sight of the same lunch packed for them.

They all say to each other, "If I get the same lunch again tomorrow, then I will jump off the top of the building we are working on." Then, they carry on with their work.

The next day, the construction workers, hoping they don't have the same lunch open up their lunch boxes one by one.

The Mexican opens his lunchbox and says, "Ugh, burrito again? So he jumps off the building and dies.
The Armenian opens his lunchbox and says, "Ugh, kebab again?" So he jumps off the building and dies.
The Korean opens his lunchbox and says, "Ugh, kimchi again?" So he jumps off the building and dies.
The Redneck opens his lunchbox and says, "Ugh, peanut butter again?" So he jumps off the building and dies.

A week later, the wives of these construction workers gather at their funeral.

The wife of the Mexican says, "I thought he loved my burritos." She begins to cry.
The wife of the Armenian says, "I thought he loved my kebab." She begins to cry.
The wife of the Korean says, "I thought he loved Kimchi." She begins to cry.

The wife of the Redneck looks at them with a confused gaze. She says, "I don't know what ya'll talkin' 'bout, but my husband made his own lunches."

Italian, Ukrainian and Newfie on a Lunch Break..

An Italian, a Ukrainian and a Newfie high-rise construction worker were all up on a huge building about to have lunch. They all took a seat and opened up their lunch boxes;

"Mama mia!" Said the Italian "Mya wife! She always give-a me meat-a-balls! If I get meat-a-balls in my lunch tomorrow, Imma throw myself offa this building!"

"Shliukha! Perogies again!" griped the Ukrainian "If I have to eat perogies one more day, I too will throw myself off this building!"

The Newfie opens up his lunch box "Awful! Just terrible eh, bologna and cheese! Imma join youse guys off the roof tomorrow if I have to eat bologna and cheese again tomorrow!"

The next day, the same three men met on the high-rise for lunch. The Italian opens up his lunch box and sees that it's meatballs again for lunch. "Ciao!" he yells out and throws himself off the building.

The Ukrainian opens up his lunch box "Upizdysh! Perogies! Goodbye to this world!" There he goes off the roof.

The Newfie opens up his lunch box; "Jeeze aloo! Bologna and cheese! I'm outta here too, eh!" and throws himself off the building.

All three men had their funeral on the same day. After the service, the wives of the three men met. "Iffa he only tell me, he no wanta meat-a-balls no more, I never make it for him!" The Italian wife says.

"Yes, yes, I agree." Said the Ukrainian wife "I would never have made him perogies if I knew this would happen."

The Newfie's wife was flabbergasted. "I don't understand, he made his own lunch!"

3 Construction Workers

Alanzo, Carlos and John are three construction workers are sitting on a high up beam of their nearly finished skyscrapers. Opening his lunchbox and seeing pasta, Alanzo curses, "I swear if my wife makes me pasta again, I will throw myself off this building." Carlos opens his lunchbox to see burritos, "I'm with you, I'm tired cold burritos everyday. If I see burritos again, I will jump." John opens his lunchbox, "I got bologna and cheese sandwich again. I will jump if I get this again.

The next day, Alanzo, Carlos and John are sitting together, ready to open their lunches. Taking a deep breath, Alanzo opens his lunchbox and sees pasta.With a sigh, he stands up and throws himself off the skyscraper to his death. Carlos opens his lunch box to see a burrito. Wiping away a tear, he stands and throws himself to his death. John opens his lunchbox and finds bologna and cheese sandwich. He stands and throws himself off the beam.

At the funeral, Alanzo's wife cries, "If I knew he was tired of my pasta, I would have never made it for him and he would never had jumped." Next to her, Carlos's wife is crying, "If I knew my Carlos didn't like my burritos, I would never had made them and he would never had jumped." Both women look at John's wife, "Well, don't look at me. He made his own lunch."

An Italian, A Mexican, and A Redneck

They were all sitting on top of the sky scraper they were helping build about to eat lunch.
The Italian opens his lunch box and says "dammit, spaghetti again! I swear if I get spaghetti again tomorrow I'm gonna jump off here and kill myself!"
The Mexican opens his lunch box and says "dammit, tacos again! I swear if I get tacos again tomorrow I'm gonna jump off here and kill myself!
The Redneck opens his lunch box and says "dammit, Baloney and Cheese again! I swear if I get Baloney and Cheese again tomorrow I'm gonna jump off here and kill myself!"
The next day at lunch, they all get the same things and they all kill themselves.
All three funerals were held together.
The Italians wife says "If I had only made him something besides spaghetti he'd still be with me!"
The Mexicans wife says "If I had only made him something besides tacos he'd still be with me!"
The Rednecks wife says "well I wish I could say something like that but he packs his own lunch..."

Three construction workers on their lunch break...

One of them is Italian, one is Irish and one is German. They sit on the top of an 8 story building they are currently working on, ready to open their lunch boxes.

The Italian opens his lunch box: "Spaghetti again? Every day it'sa Spaghetti! Always a Spaghetti! If I have to eata the Spaghetti one more time I'ma gonna jumpa!"

The Irish opens his lunch box: "Awww not Black Pudding againsh! I swear I have have to eash Black Pudding one more god damn time, I jump!"

The German opens his lunch box: "Really? Sauerkraut again? I can't take it any more! Next time I have to eat ze Sauerkraut I jump!"

The next day all three of them sit together again. The Italian opens his lunch box. Spaghetti. He jumps. The Irish opens his lunch box. Black Pudding. He jumps. The German opens his lunch box. Sauerkraut. He jumps.

At the funeral the widows of the three men meet. The Italian woman weeps: "I had a no idea! If only I had known he doesn't a want a eata the Spaghetti!". The Irish woman is equally distraught: "He never told me to make something else! He could have just told me! I'm so sorry!"

They look at the German woman, who doesn't seem sad but rather puzzled. They ask her why she's not crying, to which she said:

"I just don't get it. He always prepared his own lunches."

Three builders are atop a large building at lunchtime... (Long)

The first builder opens his lunch box and says, "Cheese? Bloody cheese sandwiches again! If I have cheese sandwiches tomorrow I will throw myself off this building."

The second builder opens his lunch box and shouts, "Not ham sandwiches again! If I have ham sandwiches tomorrow I will throw myself off this building!"

The third builder opens up his lunch box and is just as furious as the other two, "Jam!" he yells, "Jam sandwiches again? If I have jam sandwiches tomorrow I will throw myself off this building!"

The next day the three builders open up their lunch boxes and, to the first's disgust, "I don't believe it. Cheese! That's it, I've had enough!" He throws himself off the top of the building and dies.

The second builder opens his lunch box and is met with ham sandwiches again. "I'm really fed up," he says, "I'm ending it all now!" and throws himself off the building and dies.

Finally, the third builder opens up his lunch box. "For God's sake! Jam again? Wait for me lads, I'm coming with you!" he then throws himself off the building and dies.

The three wives are at the three builders' funeral; they were good friends so they were buried together.

"I just wish he would have told me he didn't like cheese sandwiches and I would have made something else," said the first builder's wife.

"Same here," said the second builder's wife, "if only he had said something."

"I don't understand it," said the third wife, "he made his own sandwiches."

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman...

...are all builders working on a bridge. The Englishman opens his lunch-box and says, "If I get one more tuna sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The Scotsman opens his lunch box and says, "If I get one more ham sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The Irishman then says, "If I get one more egg sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The next day, all three get the same lunch, all three jump off the bridge, and all three die. At their funeral, the Englishman's wife wails, "If only I'd known he didn't like tuna!" The Scotsman's wife cries, "If only I'd known he didn't like ham!" The Irishman's wife says, "I don't understand it. He made his own sandwiches."

First submission to /jokes, and it's an old one about women making sandwiches.

Three riveters take their lunch break up on the rafters of a high rise. The first one opens his lunch pail and turns to the others, "Goddamn Ham & Swiss *again.* Fifteen years of marriage, and every day it's the same thing. I swear, if my wife makes me one more Ham & Swiss, I'm ending it. I'll jump right off this beam."

The second one opens his lunch box and pipes in, "Me too, man. Tuna Salad every damn day. I've even told my wife how I've grown to hate it. If it's Tuna Salad again tomorrow, I'm jumping off too."

The third pulls out his sandwich. "Peanut Butter and Jelly. It's been the same thing for a decade. One more PB&J and I'm done!"

The next day the three are eating lunch again. The first one looks at his Ham & Swiss and says "Nice knowing ya, fellas," and jumps off to his death.

The second one finds Tuna Salad, turns to the third with a look of desperation, then leaps forty stories to the street below.

The third one opens his lunch box to see a Peanut Butter and Jelly. Without delay, he joins the other two in suicide.

At their funerals, the wives console each other. "If I had only known he felt this way, he never would have had Ham & Swiss for the rest of his life."

"Yes," says the second "I never would have made another Tuna Salad sandwich the rest of my days!"

The third wife, wiping away tears, says, "I *still* don't understand it. My husband always packed his own lunch!"

An Englishman, A Scotsman, and An Irishman are building a skyscraper...

They’re all sat on a construction beam on their brake, about to have their lunch.

The Englishman opens his lunch box and angrily says “Ham again! If I get ham on my sandwich again tomorrow I’m gonna jump!”

The Scotsman opens up his lunchbox and angrily says “Corned beef again! If I get corned beef again tomorrow I’ll jump with you mate!”

Finally the Irishman opens up his sandwich and angrily says “Cheese again! If I get cheese again tomorrow I’ll jump with both of you!”

The next day the three workers open their lunchboxes. The Englishman gets ham in his sandwich and jumps, the Scotsman get corned beef in his sandwich and jumps, and the Irishman gets cheese in his sandwich again and jumps.

A few weeks later, at the funeral for the three men the Englishman’s wife is crying and saying “If only he’d told me he didn’t want ham then I’d have made him something different!”

And the Scotsman’s wife is crying and saying “If only he’d told me he didn’t want corned beef then I’d have made him something different!”

The Irishman’s wife however, is not crying but is confused and says “I don’t get it! He made his own sandwiches!”

3 Construction Workers

There are 3 construction workers who are working on a very tall building. As lunch starts, they sit down on the top floor and prepare to eat their lunch.

The first guy opens his lunch box and says, "Ah man! Spaghetti again!?!? If I get spaghetti one more time, I'm gonna jump off this building."

The second guy opens his lunch box and says, "Ah man! Hot dogs again!?!? If I get hot dogs one more time, I'm gonna jump off this building."

The third guy opens his lunch box and says, "Ah man! Peanut butter and jelly sandwich again!?!? If I get a PB&J sandwich one more time, I'm gonna jump off this building."

The next day, lunch begins and they each prepare to eat their lunch at the top of the building.
The first guy opens his lunch box, sees spaghetti, and jumps off the building.
The second guy opens his lunch box, sees hot dogs, and jumps off the building.
The third guy opens his lunch box, sees a PB&J sandwich, and jumps off the building.

A couple weeks pass, and the 3 construction workers' funeral is being held. Each of their wives are there and they are crying.

The first construction worker's wife said, "If I had known he didn't want spaghetti, I wouldn't have made it for him" and continues to cry.

The second construction worker's wife said, "If I had known he didn't want hot dogs, I wouldn't have made it for him" and continues to cry.

The third construction worker's wife just sits there quietly. They first two wives look at her and she says, "Don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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