what's the difference between a unicorn and a girlfriend? i am 8 times more likely to find a unicorn
A Republican, a Democrat, a Communist, a priest, a rabbi, an Imam, an African, a Caucasian, an Asian, a horse, a giraffe, an elephant, a fairy, an elf, and an unicorn walk into a bar...
The bar tender looks up
"What is this? A joke?"
A mailman, a boy, and a unicorn walk into a bar. The woman gets a concussion, some stitches, and a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder.
What's the difference between a unicorn and a head of cabbage? One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!
(not mine) I hate the Harry Potter franchise, it's too unrealistic. I mean I'm not saying magic is impossible, everyone on my estate fights with sticks, there may even be the odd unicorn about, but who, has ever seen a ginger kid with two mates ?
The other day, I was questioning the state of my sanity... ... but the unicorn and the gummy bear told me I was okay.
NOAH'S DIARY: Day 42...
NOAH'S DIARY: Day 42
Dragon steak for lunch, and Unicorn pie for dinner.
Why did the unicorn cross the road?
Because he wanted to get hit by a car.
As told by my 4 year old.
Whats the difference between a generous scottish man and a unicorn Nothing, Theyre both fictional characters
Why did the 2-Horned Unicorn keep getting sent home from work? Excessive Horniness is inappropriate in the workplace
A gift for the daughter
Father to daughter: "What do you wish for Christmas?"
Daughter: a unicorn!
Father: Please, something realistic!
Daughter: Ok, then I want a friend with whom I can go out and kiss.
Father: What colour should the unicorn be?
You are riding a unicorn chasing a rainbow tiger and there is a flying lion behind you. What do you do? Get off the carousal, you're drunk.
Every time I take LSD some unicorn starts talking to me This way I’ll never start hallucinating
My daughter asked me if she could have the Amazon Prime App for our Apple TV for Christmas. I said “Sorry Sweetheart. I’ll get you a Unicorn instead.”
A guy walks into Starbucks and orders a Frappe with unicorn hair and newt eyes It was quite the tall order
The truth about Unicorn
Q: Why do unicorns only let virgin women get close to them?
A: Because they are horny.