Unicorn Jokes


Funniest Unicorn Jokes

Funny Unicorn Jokes

What do you call a unicorn that's had its horn removed. Eunuchorn

My dad is like a unicorn He's never here. :(

I went to get my unicorn neutered... Now it's a eunuchorn.


A unicorn without testicles is called a eunuchorn

What do you call a unicorn that's had its horn removed? A eunuchorn.

what's the difference between a unicorn and a girlfriend? i am 8 times more likely to find a unicorn

What do you call a unicorn who's had it's horn removed? A eunuchcorn.

What do you call a Unicorn with his horn cut off? a Eunuch-horn! :D

A Republican, a Democrat, a Communist, a priest, a rabbi, an Imam, an African, a Caucasian, an Asian, a horse, a giraffe, an elephant, a fairy, an elf, and an unicorn walk into a bar... The bar tender looks up

"What is this? A joke?"

What do you call a unicorn with no horn? A eunuch

A mailman, a boy, and a unicorn walk into a bar. The woman gets a concussion, some stitches, and a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder.

What do you call a unicorn that had its horn cut off? A eunuchorn!

Why didn’t the narwhal invite the unicorn to his party? He wanted to keep it real

What's the difference between a unicorn and a head of cabbage? One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!

(not mine) I hate the Harry Potter franchise, it's too unrealistic. I mean I'm not saying magic is impossible, everyone on my estate fights with sticks, there may even be the odd unicorn about, but who, has ever seen a ginger kid with two mates ?

The other day, I was questioning the state of my sanity... ... but the unicorn and the gummy bear told me I was okay.

NOAH'S DIARY: Day 42... NOAH'S DIARY: Day 42
Dragon steak for lunch, and Unicorn pie for dinner.

Why did the unicorn cross the road? Because he wanted to get hit by a car.

As told by my 4 year old.

What do you call a unicorn who got a flu shot? An immunicorn

Whats the difference between a generous scottish man and a unicorn Nothing, Theyre both fictional characters

Why did the 2-Horned Unicorn keep getting sent home from work? Excessive Horniness is inappropriate in the workplace

Where do you get unicorn milk? From the Legendairy...

What do you call a vegetable in college? A unicorn

what do you call a unicorn with 2 horns and 2 tails? bizarre.

A gift for the daughter Father to daughter: "What do you wish for Christmas?"

Daughter: a unicorn!

Father: Please, something realistic!

Daughter: Ok, then I want a friend with whom I can go out and kiss.

Father: What colour should the unicorn be?

You are riding a unicorn chasing a rainbow tiger and there is a flying lion behind you. What do you do? Get off the carousal, you're drunk.

What do you call a unicorn gelding? Eunuchorn

Every time I take LSD some unicorn starts talking to me This way I’ll never start hallucinating

What do you call a unicorn with a soar throat? Horse...

Why did the unicorn cross the road? To make the rainbow connection!

What did the unicorn say at the horse orgy? "I feel really horny."

My girlfriend is like a unicorn She doesnt exist

My daughter asked me if she could have the Amazon Prime App for our Apple TV for Christmas. I said “Sorry Sweetheart. I’ll get you a Unicorn instead.”

joke? I would say a unicorn joke but it would be to corny.

yea i'm pretty bad

A guy walks into Starbucks and orders a Frappe with unicorn hair and newt eyes It was quite the tall order

The truth about Unicorn Q: Why do unicorns only let virgin women get close to them?

A: Because they are horny.

What do you call an academic institute concerning vegetables that only offers their services to mythological creatures? A Unicorn

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Long Unicorn Jokes

Unicorn hunting...

Two hunters, Paul and Kurt, were in a lodge, making small talk.

Paul asked Kurt, “So, what do you hunt?”

Kurt answered, “I hunt unicorns.”

Paul was startled, but said, “Really? How do you do that?”

Kurt replied, “I find a virgin and hire her to help me. The virgin sits around in the woods until a unicorn comes to her. When it does, it sets off a snare.”

Paul said, “Boy, they must be hard to find. I’ve heard of them, but I’ve never seen one.”

Kurt said, “Yeah, and there aren’t many unicorns around, either!”

My niece’s joke...

First she told us the old, “why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he was feeling crumby”

Being encouraged by the pity laugh from everyone, she made up this little gem:

Why did the unicorn go to the hospital? Because he was feeling horny!

A frog entered a bank

He hopped up to a teller named Patty Whack and said, "My name is Kermit Jagger, son of Mick Jagger. I'd like to take out a loan of one million dollars. Just take this collateral to the bank president and he'll approve it."

The frog produced a tiny porcelain unicorn. Patty Whack brought the unicorn to the bank president and explained what happened. The president immediately approved the loan. Curious, Patty Whack pointed to the unicorn and asked, "What is it?"

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

A father finds a magic lamp...

and when he rubs it, a genie pops out and offers to grant him anything he wants.

The man asks for a unicorn for his daughter.

The genie says unicorns aren't even real, try to be more realistic.

So the man decides to ask the genie to let the Browns win a single game.

The genie sighs and asks the man what color unicorn his daughter would prefer.

Noah's Ark

"How does my new toupe look?" he asks his family. "Honest opinions only."

His son says, "It looks great, Dad!"

His wife says, "It looks totally realistic!"

His uncle says, "It looks like something crawled up and died there."

Lo and Behold, Noah throws his uncle over the side of the ark, never to be seen again. Coming to his senses, he apologizes, then turns to the animals. "And how does my outfit look? Honest opinions only."

The horse says, "Great! The colors really go together."

The parrot says, "I couldn't have said it better myself."

The unicorn says, "Bozo called, he wants his tie back."

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