Rabbit Jokes

Funny Rabbit Jokes
Score: 213

Children are so unappreciative these days. I bought my daughter a rabbit.

She just keeps complaining about how it "doesn't count if it's roadkill".

Score: 171

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?"

Score: 135

I dyed my hair... I mean, I killed my rabbit.

Score: 75

Had a rabbit that would come by every morning. I'd leave a bit of food for him. But he stopped coming one day. Now he's just some bunny that I used to know.

Score: 68

Three statisticians are hunting when they see a rabbit. The first one shoots and misses him on the left.

The second shoots and misses him on the right.

The third one shouts, "We've hit it!"

Score: 47

How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat? One. It's a trick question.

Score: 45

A classic from my grandfather. How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way. Unique up on it.

Score: 45

Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"

The third one was hit by the train.

Score: 41

How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way! Unique up on it!

How do you catch a calm rabbit?
Calm on, tame way! Unique up on it!

Score: 40

A priest and a rabbit walk into a bar The bartender says "I think someone has made a typo here."

Score: 36

What's the difference between United Airlines and a magician's hat? You can't pull a live rabbit out of a United jet.

Score: 31

What do you call a rabbit who is an anesthesiologist? An Ether Bunny

Score: 30

Here's one from my 8 yr old neice What's invisible and smells like a carrot?

Rabbit farts!

Score: 24

I went to the pet store today and stole a rabbit. Then I made a run for it.

Score: 20

What do you get if you crossbreed a rabbit with an insect? Bugs Bunny

Score: 20

Two rabbits are eating carrots ...from farmer Brown's field. One turns to the other and says, "This carrot is pithy." The other rabbit says, "I guess so. I just pithed on it."

Score: 19

Witty Answer from a Four Year Old Mom just informed me that I said this when I was little. The original punch line is "Make a sound like a carrot".

MOM: "How do you catch a rabbit?"
ME: "Have someone throw one at you."

Score: 18

A guy applies for a job at the L.A.P.D. The inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen! Just one more thing: take this gun and shoot 6 black men and a rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?" the man replies.

"Good attitude, you've got the job!"

Score: 17

I almost hit a rabbit on my way home last night. Missed him by a hare.

Score: 17

What's the difference between a rabbit on a treadmill and a rabbit with a carrot stuck up its nose? One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny

Score: 16

A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit, "What will you have?" The rabbit shakes his head and answers, "I have no idea, the only reason I'm here is because of Autocorrect."

Score: 16

What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit? A bunny ribbit

Score: 15

On earth: A magician puts his hand in his hat. In the rabbit realm: The Hand emerges. It is time. The rabit council must choose another sacrifice.

Score: 14

What does a flying rabbit has on his back? An eagle

Score: 14

I ordered rabbit stew but had to return it. There was a hare in my soup

Score: 14

If I ran a nightclub, I would hire a rabbit to guard the front door. I heard theyโ€™re good bouncers.

Score: 14

What's the worst part of eating rabbit? Their little legs kicking you in the forehead.

Score: 12

How did the rabbit know his wife was cheating on him? He found a bunch of hares in his bed.

Score: 12

Wife driving the car .... WIFE: honey?
Husband: yes dear
WIFE: did something hit the car
Husband: yes deer
WIFE: do you know what it was
Husband: yes deer
WIFE: was it an animal
Husband: yes deer
WIFE: was it a rabbit
Husband: no deer


Score: 12

Two cow talking in a field The first one ask :
"aren't you afraid about this terrible disease from the neighbor's farm called" mad cow" ? "

The second one looked at her, surprised, and answered :
" I don't care... I'm a rabbit"

Score: 8

How to know if a rabbit is depressed? He no longer carrot all about his life

Score: 3

A rabbit walks into a barbers shop and asks for a haircut... The barber says, "I can't help you with that my friend, but the butcher across the street sure can."

Score: 2

A wild brown rabbit recently became the world's very first non-human creature to be charged with a crime and subsequently arrested. The charge: Disturbing the peas!

Score: 1

What species of rabbit can jump higher than a house? All of them. Houses can't jump.

Score: 1

Have you ever noticed that all the characters in Winnie the Pooh have names that reflect what they are? Piglet is a little ๐Ÿ–

Tigger is a ๐Ÿ…

Rabbit is a ๐Ÿฐ

Owl is an ๐Ÿฆ‰

And "Eeyore" is the sound people make when they're clinically depressed.

Score: 1

Homeless friends aweful joke Rabbit " what do Mormons and tweakers have in common?"


Rabbit "They're always on mountain bikes and always on a mission"

Pretty sure its original atleast.
Lol made me laugh, -had to be there maybe-

Score: 0

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an octopus? An immediate cessation of funds and a stern reprimand from the ethics committee

Score: 0

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