Italian Jokes

Contents

Funniest Italian Jokes

What's that Italian dessert called where you pour espresso coffee over ice cream? Everyone I ask can't remember either.

Score: 14026

An English man, German, French and Italian are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded:
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sì"
"Ja"

Score: 10089

A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!

They named him Ravi O. Lee

Sorry

Score: 2538

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will be a pizza history.




Edit: Thank you for getting this on the front page!

Score: 1636
Funny Italian Jokes
Score: 591

Why are so many Italian men named Tony? When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...

Score: 440

Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening it? Because there could be an Italian dressing inside.

Score: 255

What do you call an Italian with a broken arm? Speech impaired.

Score: 250

A Judge orders an Italian man to pay $10,000 Italian man: Why?

Judge: It's a fine.

Italian man: (quietly) It's a not...

Score: 245

My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess So I used her as bait to lure an Italian plumber into my castle

Score: 221

What do you call an Italian hooker? A PASTA-tute!

I am so sorry.

Score: 205

Why couldn't the Italian explain himself to the police? He was handcuffed.

Score: 150

What do you call an Italian Jedi? Obi Wan Cannoli.

Don't worry, I'll see myself out.

Score: 139

Did you hear about the famous Italian chef that recently died? He pasta way.

Score: 137

What's a specimen? An Italian astronaut :-D

Score: 129

The Italian government has decided to put a big clock similar to Big Ben in the leaning tower of Piza. Now they’ll have the time as well as the inclination.

Score: 126

What do you call a poor Italian community? a spaghetto.

Score: 116

What did the Jedi order at the Italian restaurant? Only one cannoli.

Score: 108

What does an Italian have when he is missing one arm? A severe speech impediment.

Score: 103

What do you call the Italian slums? The spaghettos.

Score: 95

Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta way :(

Score: 92

I'm dating an Italian bricklayer. It's cement to be.

Score: 86

What do you call an Italian with two broken hands? Mute

Score: 80

Did you hear about the woman who died in an Italian restaurant? She pasta way.

Score: 77

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way. Although we cannoli do so much, he will forever be a pizza history. His wife? Cheese still not over it. Just goes to show here today, gone tomato. Lets send olive our prayers to the family.

Score: 75

Don't be racist, be like Mario... He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

Score: 66

I was at an Italian restaurant last Friday... Me: "I'll just have the Paggione".
Waitress: "That says 'page one', sir."

Score: 62

What do you call an Italian man without arms? A mute.


Sorry if repost.

Score: 60

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way last night.

Score: 59

Did you hear about the Italian man who died? He pasta way... ...now he's a pizza history.

Score: 49

If Italian bread is Italian bread, and French bread is French bread, what do you call southern bread Inbred

Score: 49

How much dessert does a dieting Jedi eat at an Italian restaurant? Only one cannoli.

Score: 45

Who? Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be."

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and *poof* she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini". St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?", he says.

"Sara Pipalini", replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says; "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

Score: 45

What's a specimen? An Italian astronaut!

​

Get it...?

Score: 45

Did you hear about the girl who died in the Italian restaurant? She pasta way.

Score: 44

What do you call an Italian with one arm? Speech impaired.

Score: 42

Why can't Italian snakes talk? They don't have hands.

Score: 41

Why did the Italian wear handcuffs to bed? So he wouldn't talk in his sleep

Score: 40

How do you know if an Italian person is mute? When you see he has no hands.

Score: 40

What is a specimen? An Italian astronaut.

Score: 40

Where do Italian gangsters come from? The spaghetto

Score: 38

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New Italian Jokes

The Italian Chef Died He pasta way!

Score: 5

Why are Italian cops so cute? Because they're guinea pigs!!

Score: 3

The old Italian man didn’t die. He pasta way.

Score: 9

Have you heard what pirates did to an Italian condiment ship on the fifth of May? They Sink-a Da Mayo

Score: 2

All Italian recipes are equal, but some Italian recipes are more equal than others. Animal Parm

Score: 2

What do you call spooky Italian music? Creepy pasta.

Score: 3

What do you call a bad Italian neighborhood? A spaghetto

Score: 9

Why did Louis XIV seize possession of an Italian triumph? To absolutely claim it as, "Mon arch"

Score: 3

I hear The Beatles influenced the COVID19 treatment policy at Italian hospitals... Live... Let Die... Live... Let Die...

Score: 2

What do you call a jamaican who has a fond taste for italian food A Pasta-man

Score: 2

My friend works at an Italian restaurant. Today, he over-fried the food while trying to tell us a ghost story. Guess it's crispy-pasta now.

Score: 4

Your move. I had lunch with chess grandmaster magnus magnuson last week. It was a lovely Italian restaurant with a chequered tablecloth though.
So
It took him three hours to pass the salt.

Score: 2

Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef? He pasta way. Looks like he ran out of thyme

Score: 5

What do you call Italian yoga? tortellini

Score: 2

What's a "specimen"? An Italian astronaut.

Score: 4

I heard an Italian supercar manufacturer is going to be making its next model be covered in chocolate and hazelnuts They're calling it the Ferrari Rocher

Score: 2

Have you ever heard of an italian vampire? Neither have i #garlicPower

Score: 6

What did the dyslexic man order at the Italian restaurant? Tapas

Score: 6

What does an Italian barista say when they can't remember the letter between N and P? Affogato.

Score: 3

If Italian food is made by Italians and Indian food by Indians,... who is making Dog food?

Score: 2

The Italian government has cancelled the town of Ferno’s annual fiesta This year there’ll be no disco in ferno

Score: 4

What is a horse’s favorite Italian city? Neigh-poli

Score: 2

What is an Italian suppository called? Innuendo

Score: 3

What is it called when an Italian hooker farts? Pasta toot.

Score: 2

What did the Italian Dictator say to those dang Allies? Get off Mi-Lan!

Score: 2

Why was the Italian chef locked out of his house? Because he had gnocchi.

Score: 7

What does an Italian dementia patient eat for dessert? Affogato.

Score: 2

An identity thief stole an Italian chef's identity. When the police found him, they accused him if being an impasta.

Score: 3

I started learning Italian recently It's'a going perfecto

Score: 2

I told my Italian housemate that "I'm not a materialist", he asked "is that a pronoun?", I replied "no, it's more anti noun"

Score: 4

A German engineer approaches his Italian colleague... "Give me iron and steel and I'll build you an aircraft carrier!"

The Italian says, "Give me your sister and I'll make you the crew."

Score: 3

What does an Italian person do when they are unclean? They take a ciao-er

Score: 2

My Italian friend works part-time as a chef and part-time as a comedian. I'm sick of hearing his gnocchi gnocchi jokes.

Score: 2

My Italian girlfriend said she only dates bad boys I told her today I walked out of my place three times

Score: 2

What's the difference between your mama and the Italian COVID-19 situation? Your mama's got flat curves

Score: 2

I’m learning a soon to be dead language It’s called Italian

Score: 5

How to speak Italian Credit to my 8 year old daughter.

"Hey, Dad. Want to hear me speak Italian?"

"Sure!"

*cough cough*

Score: 6

The Italian government has imposed strict curfews. Absolutely no Roman the streets.

Score: 3

An italian walks into a bar ... but his wife has locked the fridge

Score: 2

Had Corona virus occurred prior to 1997 and the Chinese covered it up It would have been called the Italian Flu instead of the Wuhan virus.

Score: 1

What's the best place to get Italian food in the ocean? The Marinara trench

Score: 5

What is an Italian frogs favourite food? Ribbitoni.

Score: 3

What does a woman get for letting an Italian man nut inside her? Prego

Score: 5

Did you hear about the Italian chef that just died? He pasta away

Score: 4

My doctor said the reason why I am sorry and then mad all the time is because I am bipolar I told him no, it's because I'm half Italian and half Canadian

Score: 2

What do you call an Italian Buddhist? Karmesan

Score: 3

What do you call a fastidious Italian pasta maker? Rigour Tony

Score: 2

Where does an Italian gang live? In the "Spaghetto"

Score: 6

Anthony, a chef from Latvia, decided to open an Italian restaurant... He named it Rigatoni's.

Score: 5

Did you heard about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way

Score: 4

What is it called when two Italians fight? An Italian beef.

Score: 2

What do you call a parent’s sister who hates Italian appetizers? Auntie anti-antipasto

Score: 2

What does an Italian chef make in a Chinese restaurant? Ciao Mein.

Score: 4

What do you call an inner city Italian mob? Spaghetto

Score: 2

They say "you are what you eat"... … which can't be true, because I don't feel like a large Italian with everything.

Score: 8

What do you call an Italian strip club? Spaghetti-hoes

Score: 11

What do you call an Italian sailor who died while stranded on a deserted island? Pastaway

Score: 4

A Greek, a Spaniard and an Italian go out for dinner. Who pays the bill? The German.

Score: 3

The moment I knew she was a sub Was when I licked her forehead and it tasted of Italian herbs and cheese

Score: 4

What's an Italian kids favourite party game Pasta parcel

Score: 2

Should an Italian child born without ears learn sign language? Deafinitaly.

Score: 35

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