Italian Jokes


Funniest Italian Jokes

An English man, German, French and Italian are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded:

Score: 10089

A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!

They named him Ravi O. Lee


Score: 2538

People get impressed when I tell them my home is designed by a famous Italian. Until I invite them home and they realize I live in a Fiat.

Score: 2115

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will be a pizza history.

Edit: Thank you for getting this on the front page!

Score: 1636
Funny Italian Jokes
Score: 591

Why are so many Italian men named Tony? When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...

Score: 440

What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with their hands and makes goofy noises at random volumes, and the other can't hear.

Score: 372

Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening it? Because there could be an Italian dressing inside.

Score: 255

What do you call an Italian with a broken arm? Speech impaired.

Score: 250

My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess So I used her as bait to lure an Italian plumber into my castle

Score: 221

What do you call an Italian hooker? A PASTA-tute!

I am so sorry.

Score: 205

I think I was Italian, in a pasta life.

Score: 201

Why couldn't the Italian explain himself to the police? He was handcuffed.

Score: 150

How do you talk to a dead Italian? with a luigi board

Score: 141

What do you call an Italian Jedi? Obi Wan Cannoli.

Don't worry, I'll see myself out.

Score: 139

Did you hear about the famous Italian chef that recently died? He pasta way.

Score: 137

What's a specimen? An Italian astronaut :-D

Score: 129

The Italian government has decided to put a big clock similar to Big Ben in the leaning tower of Piza. Now they’ll have the time as well as the inclination.

Score: 126

What do you call a poor Italian community? a spaghetto.

Score: 116

What did the Jedi order at the Italian restaurant? Only one cannoli.

Score: 108

What does an Italian have when he is missing one arm? A severe speech impediment.

Score: 103

What do you call the Italian slums? The spaghettos.

Score: 95

Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta way :(

Score: 92

I'm dating an Italian bricklayer. It's cement to be.

Score: 86

What do you call an Italian with two broken hands? Mute

Score: 80

Did you hear about the woman who died in an Italian restaurant? She pasta way.

Score: 77

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way. Although we cannoli do so much, he will forever be a pizza history. His wife? Cheese still not over it. Just goes to show here today, gone tomato. Lets send olive our prayers to the family.

Score: 75

Don't be racist, be like Mario... He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

Score: 66

I was at an Italian restaurant last Friday... Me: "I'll just have the Paggione".
Waitress: "That says 'page one', sir."

Score: 62

What do you call an Italian man without arms? A mute.

Sorry if repost.

Score: 60

If Italian bread is Italian bread, and French bread is French bread, what do you call southern bread Inbred

Score: 49

What do you call a girl who'll go home with any guy after he buy her a hearty Italian meal? A pasta-tute.

Score: 36

Bigamist… What an Italian calls very thick fog

Score: 28

Why did the Italian get kicked out of heaven? He ate too much angel hair

Score: 26

What do you call a bad area in an italian city? The spaghetto

Score: 24

I once knew an Italian born with a toe growing out of his knee. So his mom, being hilarious, named him.... Just kidding, she left him at the hospital.

Score: 21

Why does the Italian Navy have glass bottom boats? To see the old Italian Navy

Score: 19

Why couldn't the Italian get inside his house? He had gnocchi

Score: 19

Where do poor Italian grow up? The spaghetto

Score: 18

Where do Italian rappers come from? The spaghetto.

Score: 17

Popular Topics

New Italian Jokes

What did the Italian chef say when he didn’t bring out dessert? Affogato

Score: 3

What do the colors in the Italian flag stand for? Red: food

White: architecture

Green: music

Blue: a strong and courageous military

Yellow: competitive Formula 1 teams

Score: 5

What do you call the bad part of an Italian town? The spaghetto

Score: 6

Anyone heard of the Italian Chef that died? He just pasta-way.

Score: 3

On a US Navy vessel is written: “USS.” What does that stand for? -United States Ship.

And on a British vessel it says: “HMS”?

-Her Majesty’s Ship

And on an Italian one it says: “AMB”?

-Aaatsah Meh Boat

Score: 4

An Italian, a Jamaican and a stormtrooper tried to make a meal for Gordon Ramsay. It was a rasta blaster pasta disaster.

Score: 3

My Italian girlfriend bet me I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

Score: 14

How do you ask for pizza in italian? Pasta pizza

Score: 4

A vegan, an Italian and a Prius owner walk into a bar. I know this because they told me when they walked in the door.

Score: 4

What did a laid-back Italian cop say to a speeding driver? That's a fine.

Score: 11

How come there are zero Italian tourist travelling by car? Because all roads lead to Rome.

Score: 4

I finally got to have a conversation with an Italian chef It was about thyme.

Score: 5

Why did the Italian miss her train Because it went right Pasta.

Score: 5

Have you guys heard about the old italian plumber who can talk to ghosts? He uses a Luigi board.

Score: 3

Have you heard the one about the guy that got locked out of his house after having Italian for dinner? He had gnocchi...

Credit: twitter user @Mostly_Cheese

Score: 6

This is my favorite sub. Meatball with marinara, provolone, and parmesan on an Italian loaf.

Score: 7

Luke Skywalker goes to eat at an Italian restaurant, finishes dinner then orders desert. Only one canoli.

Score: 4

How do you shut an Italian up for good? Chop his hands off

Score: 6

What do you call a shady Italian neighborhood... The Spaghetto

Score: 4

What did the Italian seamstress say to the Greek playwright? Euripides!

Score: 3

Why do a Jew, an Italian, and a redneck go to stripclubs? The Jew goes to pick up the rent.

The Italian goes to pick up his protection money.

The redneck goes to pick up his daughter.

Score: 3

Why couldn't the Italian guy open the lock? Gnocchi

Score: 4

What does an Italian Lightning McQueen say? Ka-ciao

Score: 3

What do you get when you cross the Russian Mob with the Italian Mafia? Killed.

Score: 8

How do you take away an Italian's freedom of speech? Handcuff them

Score: 6

What do you call a bad Italian neighborhood? Spaghetto

Score: 12

What do you call an Italian slum? Spaghetto

Score: 8

What do you call an Italian with only one hand? Speech impediment.

Score: 5

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? Yeah, he pasta way.

Score: 15

Italian Bodybuilder Did you hear about the Italian Bodybuilder? He loves astrophysics! He even said:
"I love-a steroids"

Score: 11

What happened to the Italian chef? He pasta way.

Score: 4

What do you call an emo italian person? A pizza cutter

Score: 6

How many gears does an Italian tank have? Four, one to go forward and three for reverse.

Score: 3

An Italian man was having trouble growing his beard. So he did some research and found out he was native American.

So now when asked about his beard he says
"Eh.. It's just apache"

Score: 3

What do you call Italian children with epilepsy? Little Caesars

Score: 6

How does an Italian say goodbye to a German in New York City? Arrive-deutsch-i!

Score: 2

I called the cops on two guys who were gonna start fighting anytime Turns out they were just having a conversation in Italian

Score: 5

What do you call it when two Italians get in a fight? Italian beef

Score: 3

What do you call an Italian with no hands? Mute

Score: 3

This awesome new TV automatically set subtitles to Italian for my Italian girlfriend I guess the CIA picked up on her hand gestures.

Score: 3

Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta away recently.

Score: 7

What do you call a rough Italian neighbourhood? A spaghetto

Score: 16

How do you make an italian shut up? Cut his hands off.

Score: 7

How do you say McDonalds in Italian? Olive Garden

Score: 4

Heard about the famous italian chef that died? He pastaway, here today gone tomato,we cannoli do so much. He will be pizza history!

Score: 2

So my girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess. So I put her in a castle and sent some Italian plummer to find her.

Score: 5

What does the Italian cat say? Cheow!

Score: 5

Have you heard about the Italian chef that recently died? Yeah, he pasta way.

Score: 2

My girlfriend is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with Italian food. I wouldn't put it pasta.

Score: 2

What did the Italian chef say when his boss tried to pick a fight? You wanna pizza me?!

Score: 4

TIFU by accidentally giving my vegetarian girlfriend my Italian Sandwich from quizno's instead of her Veggie Delight Sandwich. Oops wrong sub.

Score: 7

Did you hear about the Italian chef last night? He pasta way

Score: 2

An Italian painter loved spice So he boughtachili

Score: 2

Today I learned that Disney had to rename Moana in Italy because an Italian pornstar has the same name AND NO ONE KNOOOOOOOOWS HOW DEEP SHE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOES.

Score: 3

What's that famous hand made Italian cheese? Palmesan.

Score: 3

What do you hear when an Italian person gets a call? Their ringatoni

Score: 2

I tried really hard to make a punny italian joke. but it was impastable

Score: 3

Why do Italian men grow moustache's? So they can look like their mother.

Score: 2

Where do all the poor Italian people live? In the spaghetto!

Score: 3

How did the Italian die? Talking while driving.

Score: 3

Popular Topics