Italian Jokes


Funniest Italian Jokes

An English man, German, French and Italian are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded:

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A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!

They named him Ravi O. Lee


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People get impressed when I tell them my home is designed by a famous Italian. Until I invite them home and they realize I live in a Fiat.

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Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will be a pizza history.

Edit: Thank you for getting this on the front page!

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Funny Italian Jokes
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Why are so many Italian men named Tony? When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...

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What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with their hands and makes goofy noises at random volumes, and the other can't hear.

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Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening it? Because there could be an Italian dressing inside.

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What do you call an Italian with a broken arm? Speech impaired.

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My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess So I used her as bait to lure an Italian plumber into my castle

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What do you call an Italian hooker? A PASTA-tute!

I am so sorry.

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I think I was Italian, in a pasta life.

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Why couldn't the Italian explain himself to the police? He was handcuffed.

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How do you talk to a dead Italian? with a luigi board

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What do you call an Italian Jedi? Obi Wan Cannoli.

Don't worry, I'll see myself out.

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Did you hear about the famous Italian chef that recently died? He pasta way.

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What's a specimen? An Italian astronaut :-D

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The Italian government has decided to put a big clock similar to Big Ben in the leaning tower of Piza. Now they’ll have the time as well as the inclination.

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What do you call a poor Italian community? a spaghetto.

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What did the Jedi order at the Italian restaurant? Only one cannoli.

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What does an Italian have when he is missing one arm? A severe speech impediment.

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What do you call the Italian slums? The spaghettos.

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Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta way :(

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I'm dating an Italian bricklayer. It's cement to be.

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What do you call an Italian with two broken hands? Mute

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Did you hear about the woman who died in an Italian restaurant? She pasta way.

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Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way. Although we cannoli do so much, he will forever be a pizza history. His wife? Cheese still not over it. Just goes to show here today, gone tomato. Lets send olive our prayers to the family.

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Don't be racist, be like Mario... He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

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I was at an Italian restaurant last Friday... Me: "I'll just have the Paggione".
Waitress: "That says 'page one', sir."

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What do you call an Italian man without arms? A mute.

Sorry if repost.

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I once knew an Italian born with a toe growing out of his knee. So his mom, being hilarious, named him.... Just kidding, she left him at the hospital.

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My Italian girlfriend bet me I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

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What did a laid-back Italian cop say to a speeding driver? That's a fine.

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What do you call the bad part of an Italian town? The spaghetto

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What do the colors in the Italian flag stand for? Red: food

White: architecture

Green: music

Blue: a strong and courageous military

Yellow: competitive Formula 1 teams

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How come there are zero Italian tourist travelling by car? Because all roads lead to Rome.

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How do you ask for pizza in italian? Pasta pizza

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On a US Navy vessel is written: “USS.” What does that stand for? -United States Ship.

And on a British vessel it says: “HMS”?

-Her Majesty’s Ship

And on an Italian one it says: “AMB”?

-Aaatsah Meh Boat

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A vegan, an Italian and a Prius owner walk into a bar. I know this because they told me when they walked in the door.

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An Italian, a Jamaican and a stormtrooper tried to make a meal for Gordon Ramsay. It was a rasta blaster pasta disaster.

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New Italian Jokes

Did you hear about the dead Italian? I don't know how he died. He just kinda pasta way.

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Had Corona virus occurred prior to 1997 and the Chinese covered it up It would have been called the Italian Flu instead of the Wuhan virus.

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How do you know a chef is Italian? They'll tell you within moments of meeting them. Don't worry.

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What do you order from a french Italian restaurant? Sbaguetti

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What does an Italian gang member say to a Kingdom Hearts fan? Kairivederci

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What did the Italian chef say when he didn’t bring out dessert? Affogato

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I asked for soup at an Italian restaurant, But the bowl they gave me was tiny! I guess they weren't lying when they said it was ministrone.

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My GPS is Italian. "In 500 feet, make-a you turn."

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Did you hear about the Italian foot soldier who ran away from the front line He ran so far away from the front line that he bumped into a general

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What did the Italian say after his discovery worked? Pesto!

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What would you call Italian if it overtook English as a world language? A Linguini Franca

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Anyone heard of the Italian Chef that died? He just pasta-way.

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What do you call someone who dislikes Italian food? An Antipasta

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What do you call an Italian living in Detroit? Spa-ghetto

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What did the Italian say when he got locked out? Gnocchi

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What do you do if you want to look up something in Italian? You

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What do you get when you cross an Italian and a Russian? Broken legs at best

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How does an Italian say goodbye to a German in New York City? Arrive-deutsch-i!

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What do you call a paraplegic Italian? Mute

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An Italian painter loved spice So he boughtachili

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A Grek and an Italian go into a restaurant Who pays?
The German.

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Where do all the poor Italian people live? In the spaghetto!

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How did the Italian die? Talking while driving.

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