Italian Jokes


Funniest Italian Jokes

An English man, German, French and Italian are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded:

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A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!

They named him Ravi O. Lee


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People get impressed when I tell them my home is designed by a famous Italian. Until I invite them home and they realize I live in a Fiat.

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Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will be a pizza history.

Edit: Thank you for getting this on the front page!

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Funny Italian Jokes
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Why are so many Italian men named Tony? When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...

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What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with their hands and makes goofy noises at random volumes, and the other can't hear.

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Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening it? Because there could be an Italian dressing inside.

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What do you call an Italian with a broken arm? Speech impaired.

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My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess So I used her as bait to lure an Italian plumber into my castle

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What do you call an Italian hooker? A PASTA-tute!

I am so sorry.

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I think I was Italian, in a pasta life.

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Why couldn't the Italian explain himself to the police? He was handcuffed.

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How do you talk to a dead Italian? with a luigi board

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What do you call an Italian Jedi? Obi Wan Cannoli.

Don't worry, I'll see myself out.

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Did you hear about the famous Italian chef that recently died? He pasta way.

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What's a specimen? An Italian astronaut :-D

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The Italian government has decided to put a big clock similar to Big Ben in the leaning tower of Piza. Now they’ll have the time as well as the inclination.

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What do you call a poor Italian community? a spaghetto.

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What did the Jedi order at the Italian restaurant? Only one cannoli.

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What does an Italian have when he is missing one arm? A severe speech impediment.

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What do you call the Italian slums? The spaghettos.

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Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta way :(

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I'm dating an Italian bricklayer. It's cement to be.

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What do you call an Italian with two broken hands? Mute

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Did you hear about the woman who died in an Italian restaurant? She pasta way.

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Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way. Although we cannoli do so much, he will forever be a pizza history. His wife? Cheese still not over it. Just goes to show here today, gone tomato. Lets send olive our prayers to the family.

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Don't be racist, be like Mario... He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

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I was at an Italian restaurant last Friday... Me: "I'll just have the Paggione".
Waitress: "That says 'page one', sir."

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What do you call an Italian man without arms? A mute.

Sorry if repost.

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Italian restaurant. I went to my local Italian restaurant last night, but there was a large fat woman standing at the entrance.

I couldn't get pasta.

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I once knew an Italian born with a toe growing out of his knee. So his mom, being hilarious, named him.... Just kidding, she left him at the hospital.

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My Italian girlfriend bet me I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

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What did a laid-back Italian cop say to a speeding driver? That's a fine.

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A half Chinese, half Italian mobster came into my store today He made me an offer I couldn't understand

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What do you call an Italian moose on an incline Moose-a-leani

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What do you get when you cross an Italian with a gorilla? A retarded gorilla.

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An Italian and a Jew go into business together, who looses? the government

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TIFU by accidentally giving my vegetarian girlfriend my Italian Sandwich from quizno's instead of her Veggie Delight Sandwich. Oops wrong sub.

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What do you call the bad part of an Italian town? The spaghetto

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New Italian Jokes

Did you hear about the dead Italian? I don't know how he died. He just kinda pasta way.

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Had Corona virus occurred prior to 1997 and the Chinese covered it up It would have been called the Italian Flu instead of the Wuhan virus.

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What does an Italian call an annoying British politician? A Pesci-Torrey

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Where does an Italian gang live? In the "Spaghetto"

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Italian people don't die. They pasta way.

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What do you call an Italian sailor who died while stranded on a deserted island? Pastaway

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How do you know a chef is Italian? They'll tell you within moments of meeting them. Don't worry.

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Oh man... did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way...

I mean, the doctors cannoli do so much.

It’s just crazy how you can wake up one day and be gone tomato.

I’ve truly never sausage a tragic thing.

So sad he ran out of thyme... :~(

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What do you order from a french Italian restaurant? Sbaguetti

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What does an Italian gang member say to a Kingdom Hearts fan? Kairivederci

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What did the Italian chef say when he didn’t bring out dessert? Affogato

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I asked for soup at an Italian restaurant, But the bowl they gave me was tiny! I guess they weren't lying when they said it was ministrone.

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I'm going to a fancy dress party later, "What you going as?" my friend asked. "A small island off the Italian coast" I replied... "Don't be so silly" he said

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Someone told me there's no 'x' in Italian. I'm pretty sure there's ten.

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Did you hear about the Italian foot soldier who ran away from the front line He ran so far away from the front line that he bumped into a general

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What would you call Italian if it overtook English as a world language? A Linguini Franca

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On a US Navy vessel is written: “USS.” What does that stand for? -United States Ship.

And on a British vessel it says: “HMS”?

-Her Majesty’s Ship

And on an Italian one it says: “AMB”?

-Aaatsah Meh Boat

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An Italian, a Jamaican and a stormtrooper tried to make a meal for Gordon Ramsay. It was a rasta blaster pasta disaster.

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What do you call someone who dislikes Italian food? An Antipasta

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What did the owner of the Italian restaurant say to the bald man that was trying to dine-and-dash? You need a toupee!

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How do you ask for pizza in italian? Pasta pizza

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What did the Italian say when he got locked out? Gnocchi

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What did the Italian barista say when he received a new car for his christmas bonus? It's a merry car, no?

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What is an Italian’s favorite casino game? Penne slots.

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What colour in the Italian flag represents loyalty in WWII? Purple. (there's no purple in the Italian flag)

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What's the difference between an Italian dessert cheese and a small pony who loves makeup? Ones a mascarpone, ones a mascara pony

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How come there are zero Italian tourist travelling by car? Because all roads lead to Rome.

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What do you do if you want to look up something in Italian? You

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If you're an overwhelmed Italian, you have lasagna mind.

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What do you get when you cross an Italian and a Russian? Broken legs at best

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An Italian man was having trouble growing his beard. So he did some research and found out he was native American.

So now when asked about his beard he says
"Eh.. It's just apache"

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What do you call a paraplegic Italian? Mute

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What does the Italian cat say? Cheow!

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An Italian painter loved spice So he boughtachili

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A Grek and an Italian go into a restaurant Who pays?
The German.

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Me and my Italian friend are opening a Chinese restaurant... It's called 2 Dum Wops

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What do you call Macaulay Culkin's second Italian mortgage Home'a loan 2

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What do you call an Italian at the World Cup Finals? A referee

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