Italian Jokes

Contents

Funniest Italian Jokes

An English man, German, French and Italian are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded:
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sì"
"Ja"

Score: 10089

A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!

They named him Ravi O. Lee

Sorry

Score: 2538

People get impressed when I tell them my home is designed by a famous Italian. Until I invite them home and they realize I live in a Fiat.

Score: 2115

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will be a pizza history.




Edit: Thank you for getting this on the front page!

Score: 1636
Funny Italian Jokes
Score: 591

Why are so many Italian men named Tony? When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...

Score: 440

What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with their hands and makes goofy noises at random volumes, and the other can't hear.

Score: 372

Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening it? Because there could be an Italian dressing inside.

Score: 255

What do you call an Italian with a broken arm? Speech impaired.

Score: 250

My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess So I used her as bait to lure an Italian plumber into my castle

Score: 221

What do you call an Italian hooker? A PASTA-tute!

I am so sorry.

Score: 205

I think I was Italian, in a pasta life.

Score: 201

Why couldn't the Italian explain himself to the police? He was handcuffed.

Score: 150

How do you talk to a dead Italian? with a luigi board

Score: 141

What do you call an Italian Jedi? Obi Wan Cannoli.

Don't worry, I'll see myself out.

Score: 139

Did you hear about the famous Italian chef that recently died? He pasta way.

Score: 137

What's a specimen? An Italian astronaut :-D

Score: 129

The Italian government has decided to put a big clock similar to Big Ben in the leaning tower of Piza. Now they’ll have the time as well as the inclination.

Score: 126

What do you call a poor Italian community? a spaghetto.

Score: 116

What did the Jedi order at the Italian restaurant? Only one cannoli.

Score: 108

What does an Italian have when he is missing one arm? A severe speech impediment.

Score: 103

What do you call the Italian slums? The spaghettos.

Score: 95

Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta way :(

Score: 92

I'm dating an Italian bricklayer. It's cement to be.

Score: 86

What do you call an Italian with two broken hands? Mute

Score: 80

Did you hear about the woman who died in an Italian restaurant? She pasta way.

Score: 77

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way. Although we cannoli do so much, he will forever be a pizza history. His wife? Cheese still not over it. Just goes to show here today, gone tomato. Lets send olive our prayers to the family.

Score: 75

Don't be racist, be like Mario... He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

Score: 66

I was at an Italian restaurant last Friday... Me: "I'll just have the Paggione".
Waitress: "That says 'page one', sir."

Score: 62

What do you call an Italian man without arms? A mute.


Sorry if repost.

Score: 60

Italian restaurant. I went to my local Italian restaurant last night, but there was a large fat woman standing at the entrance.

I couldn't get pasta.

Score: 26

I once knew an Italian born with a toe growing out of his knee. So his mom, being hilarious, named him.... Just kidding, she left him at the hospital.

Score: 21

My Italian girlfriend bet me I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

Score: 14

What did a laid-back Italian cop say to a speeding driver? That's a fine.

Score: 11

A half Chinese, half Italian mobster came into my store today He made me an offer I couldn't understand

Score: 11

What do you call an Italian moose on an incline Moose-a-leani

Score: 9

What do you get when you cross an Italian with a gorilla? A retarded gorilla.

Score: 9

An Italian and a Jew go into business together, who looses? the government

Score: 8

What do you call the bad part of an Italian town? The spaghetto

Score: 6

What does the Italian cat say? Cheow!

Score: 5

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New Italian Jokes

Did you hear about the dead Italian? I don't know how he died. He just kinda pasta way.

Score: 0

Had Corona virus occurred prior to 1997 and the Chinese covered it up It would have been called the Italian Flu instead of the Wuhan virus.

Score: 0

What does an Italian call an annoying British politician? A Pesci-Torrey

Score: 0

Where does an Italian gang live? In the "Spaghetto"

Score: 3

Italian people don't die. They pasta way.

Score: 0

What do you call an Italian sailor who died while stranded on a deserted island? Pastaway

Score: 0

How do you know a chef is Italian? They'll tell you within moments of meeting them. Don't worry.

Score: 0

Oh man... did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way...

I mean, the doctors cannoli do so much.

It’s just crazy how you can wake up one day and be gone tomato.

I’ve truly never sausage a tragic thing.

So sad he ran out of thyme... :~(

Score: 0

What do you order from a french Italian restaurant? Sbaguetti

Score: 0

What does an Italian gang member say to a Kingdom Hearts fan? Kairivederci

Score: 2

What did the Italian chef say when he didn’t bring out dessert? Affogato

Score: 3

I asked for soup at an Italian restaurant, But the bowl they gave me was tiny! I guess they weren't lying when they said it was ministrone.

Score: 1

I'm going to a fancy dress party later, "What you going as?" my friend asked. "A small island off the Italian coast" I replied... "Don't be so silly" he said

Score: 2

Someone told me there's no 'x' in Italian. I'm pretty sure there's ten.

Score: 0

Did you hear about the Italian foot soldier who ran away from the front line He ran so far away from the front line that he bumped into a general

Score: 1

What would you call Italian if it overtook English as a world language? A Linguini Franca

Score: 0

On a US Navy vessel is written: “USS.” What does that stand for? -United States Ship.

And on a British vessel it says: “HMS”?

-Her Majesty’s Ship

And on an Italian one it says: “AMB”?

-Aaatsah Meh Boat

Score: 4

An Italian, a Jamaican and a stormtrooper tried to make a meal for Gordon Ramsay. It was a rasta blaster pasta disaster.

Score: 3

What do you call someone who dislikes Italian food? An Antipasta

Score: 2

What did the owner of the Italian restaurant say to the bald man that was trying to dine-and-dash? You need a toupee!

Score: 2

How do you ask for pizza in italian? Pasta pizza

Score: 4

What did the Italian say when he got locked out? Gnocchi

Score: 1

What did the Italian barista say when he received a new car for his christmas bonus? It's a merry car, no?

Score: 3

What colour in the Italian flag represents loyalty in WWII? Purple. (there's no purple in the Italian flag)

Score: 1

How come there are zero Italian tourist travelling by car? Because all roads lead to Rome.

Score: 4

What do you do if you want to look up something in Italian? You google.it

Score: 2

If you're an overwhelmed Italian, you have lasagna mind.

Score: 2

What do you get when you cross an Italian and a Russian? Broken legs at best

Score: 2

What do you call a paraplegic Italian? Mute

Score: 1

An Italian painter loved spice So he boughtachili

Score: 2

A Grek and an Italian go into a restaurant Who pays?
The German.
Haha

Score: 3

Me and my Italian friend are opening a Chinese restaurant... It's called 2 Dum Wops

Score: 0

What do you call Macaulay Culkin's second Italian mortgage Home'a loan 2

Score: 3

What do you call an Italian at the World Cup Finals? A referee

Score: 4

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