Avocado Jokes

Funny Avocado Jokes
Score: 195

Has anyone played that weird Mexican carnival game where groundhogs pop out of holes and you have to smear them with avocado? I really suck at Guac-a-mole.

Score: 188

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022x10^23 pieces? Guacamole.

Score: 125

What do you get if you cut an avocado into 6.02 * 10^23 pieces? Guacamole.

Score: 82

My grandpa just walked into the room with a guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast. I said, “Who is this guy?”

Grandpa: My hip replacement.

Score: 43

what do you call 6.02 X 10^23 atoms of avocado dipping sauce? one guacamole

Score: 30

Saw a bird eating a piece of avocado toast. Guess it was some kind of millennial falcon.

@sarahemclaugh

Score: 24

Chemistry Humor... "What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.02214129×10^23 pieces?"

Guacomole.

Score: 15

How come Jeff Bezos spending 13 billion makes the news? I spent 13 billion dollars last week at Whole Foods as well and all I got was some vegan avocado toast.

Score: 15

Trump shutting down the border would be the best thing for millennials Once the avocado market dries up they can finally pay off their student loans and buy a house

Score: 13

What do you call an avocado cut up into 6.022*10^23 times? Guacamole

Score: 10

What is the Jolly Green Giant most afraid of? Avocado pickers

Score: 9

What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio? A Guackie-talkie

Score: 9

What do you call it when you punch someone with an avocado? Guacamelee

Score: 6

I had an arguement with a philosophy major I told him NO, I don't want avocado on my footlong!

Score: 5

When an avocado and a duck mate, what sound does the offspring make? Guac!

Score: 5

What is an avocado's favorite game to play? Guack-a-mole!

I'm about to be a dad so this seemed fitting for my first post :)

Score: 5

Saw a bird eating a piece of avocado toast. Guess it was some kind of millennial falcon.

Score: 4

What do you get when you mix MDMA with an avocado? Guacamolly

Score: 4

I ordered some Avocado Toast at a cafe, but imagine my surprise when I was given 602214076000000000000000 pieces of toasts. It was then I realized... ...I'd accidentally ordered Avogadro's Toast.

Score: 4

Here's a funny joke based on the word avocate in french. The word avocate in french means two things, avocado, and lawyer. Why? Because both of them are expensive and slimy on the inside. Sorry if anyones a lawyer... or an avocado.

Score: 3

What's an avocado's favorite music? Guac N' Roll

Score: 3

What's a guacamole equal to? 6.022140857 x 10^23 guacas.

It's also called Avocado's number.

Score: 3

I would have driven my date to the Mexican cantina.... But I didn't avocado

Score: 3

What does a duck say when it gets hit by an avocado truck? "Guac, guac!"

Score: 3

How do you make an avocado tactical? You turn it into GuacaMOLLE

Score: 3

Accidentally got some guacamole in my eyes... ... and now I think I have guacoma.

Happy Avocado Day!

Score: 3

What does a duck thats made of avocado say? Guac

Score: 3

Avocado: Hello, I'm good fat Bacon: \*lights cigarette\* \*punches avocado\*

Score: 3

What did the Avocado said before the rabbit disappeared? Avocadobra!

Score: 3

My friend called and said, " on your drive over later please don't forget to bring all the ingredients for the Guacamole ". I said sure, there's only one problem..........I don't avocado.

Score: 2

What language does a black avocado speak? AAVEcado.

Score: 2

What did the guacamole say to the avocado? RUN!!

Score: 2

What do you call an avocado that's been destoned? An avocada.

Score: 2

Smuggling one avocado into the US will make your day Smuggling two will make your hole weak.

Score: 1

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