Egg Jokes

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Funniest Egg Jokes

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon today I'll let you know.

Score: 13205
Funny Egg Jokes
Score: 7900

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

Score: 2722

Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it. Concrete floors are really hard to crack.

Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"

Score: 1828

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar..... The bartender says " Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here".

Score: 1745

I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know

Score: 1663

Give a man an egg and he’ll eat for a day Breed a man that can lay an egg and suddenly you’re “taking science too far.”

Score: 1499

I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....... I will keep you posted.

Score: 1208

A man goes to a Halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg. The answer is the chicken.

Score: 1187

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? It might take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid this morning.

Score: 1009

I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered The chicken

Score: 861

A guy dressed as a Chicken for Halloween finds a girl dressed as an egg. Apparently the answer is Chicken.



(Edit: Typo)

Score: 770

A guy goes to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken and meets a girl dressed as an egg. The answer is the chicken.

Score: 613

Went out last night dressed as a chicken and got with a girl dressed as an egg A life long question was answered. It was the chicken

Score: 540

I went to a costume party dressed as an egg and I met a girl dressed as a chicken. I said to her "So are we going to find out, or what?"

Score: 461

Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg? Because in France one egg is un oeuf.

Score: 450

I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg. I said to him, “I bet I know what your favorite Christian festival is.”

He said, “Have to love Easter, baby.”

Score: 447

The egg said to the pot of boiling water.... It's gonna take a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning

Score: 434

What did the egg say to the boiling water? "Sorry, it's going to take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night."

Score: 382

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take me a while to get hard, i just got laid by a chick.

Score: 280

Cute names to call your girlfriend with 1.sugar

2.honey

3.flour

4.egg

5.1/2 lb butter

6.stir

7.pour into pan

8.preheat to 375°

Score: 238

I went out dressed as a chicken last night. and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken.

Score: 217

Last night I went to a costume party dressed as a chicken and met a woman dressed as an egg. One thing led to another ... and a lifelong question was answered.

Score: 196

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It may take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by this chick.

Score: 182

Chicken and an egg A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette. The egg, with a dissatisfied look on it's face, rolls over and remarks, "Well, I guess we answered that question."

Score: 180

How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it? By dropping it seven feet - it won't break for the first six.

Score: 173

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast? Because one egg is un oeuf.

Score: 171

I'm ordering a chicken and an egg from Amazon I'll let you know

Score: 171

I went out dressed as a chicken last night and met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered:

​

It was the chicken.

Score: 156

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It may take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night.

Score: 135

Just ordered a chicken and egg from Amazon I’ll let you know

Score: 97

A chicken and an egg are laying in bed... When the chicken sits up, lights a cigar and says " Well I guess that answers that question."

Score: 53

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon this morning I’ll let you know

Score: 41

Q: What came first; the chicken or the egg? A: The rooster.

Score: 40

The difference between chicken salad and egg salad... Is largely timing.

Score: 21

What does a fresh egg say when you try to hardboil it? It'll take me about 20 minutes to get hard, I just got laid by some chick.

Score: 10

Person 1: What came first the chicken or the egg? Person 2: I'm pretty sure the rooster came first.

Score: 9

What do you get when you cross a baby with an octopus? An angry letter from the ethics committee and immediate cessation of all funding.

(The joke about the man and the egg reminded me of this).

Score: 8

What do you call a waffle that you've dropped on the beach? A sandy Egg


(*My daughter hit me with this one this morning*)

Score: 5

Only after I started eating out my girlfriend did I realize she was on her period. Egg on my face, right?

Score: 5

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New Egg Jokes

What kind of egg did the demon chicken lay? A deviled egg.

Score: 2

I love egg and chicken jokes! ... Or are they chicken and egg jokes??

Score: 2

What do you call an abusive chicken? An egg beater

Score: 0

Did you hear about the egg that moonlighted as a comedian? It was full of yolks.

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My chocolate egg had special inner foil, and a grand prize inside: on-set passes to the filming of Multiverse of Madness! Thanks for the Strange, gold Kinder!

Score: 2

What kind of egg do you give to a habitual liar? A fiberge egg.

Score: 1

We're still interrogating the egg on the crime he committed... he hasn't talked yet, but don't worry, he'll crack eventually.

Score: 2

Person 1: What came first, the chicken or the egg? Person 2: Heh, I think it was the rooster.

Score: 2

I made my family easter egg hunt easier this year for the kids. There are 20 eggs in the middle of the street.

Score: 1

A Scotsman awakes one morning to find his wife dead beside him. He shouts downstairs to the cook:
"Only one egg for breakfast this morning, Mary!"

Score: 2

A chicken and an egg were in bed together. The chicken was smoking a cigarette and the egg looked frustrated. I guess that answers that question.

Score: 3

I’ve always wondered why French people seemed so skinny But then I realized an egg is *un oeuf*

Score: 1

Dumb Joke I Made When I Was 11 An egg came up to you and said: "Hi my name is Mr. Whites but you could just call me Egg". Then you said: "Hi Egg nice to beat you!". Then Egg started cracking up because the yolk was so funny.

Then he cooked meth.

Score: 1

Did you hear about the guy who painted Easter eggs? He did a good job. Not egg-cellent but good.

Score: 1

I had trouble making an egg this morning I messed up the whole flipping thing.

Score: 1

What moment is Batman History was the worst for Batman? Christmas.

He lays an egg, smells bad, and Joker gets away.

Also his parents are dead.

Score: 2

Went out last night dressed as a Chicken and got with a girl dressed as an Egg. A lifelong question had been answered. It was the Chicken

Score: 2

Why couldnt the egg make it through boot camp? Cuz he cracks under pressure.

Score: 3

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