Egg Jokes

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Funniest Egg Jokes

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon today I'll let you know.

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Funny Egg Jokes
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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

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Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it. Concrete floors are really hard to crack.

Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"

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A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar..... The bartender says " Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here".

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I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know

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Give a man an egg and he’ll eat for a day Breed a man that can lay an egg and suddenly you’re “taking science too far.”

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I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....... I will keep you posted.

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A man goes to a Halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg. The answer is the chicken.

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What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? It might take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid this morning.

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I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered The chicken

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A guy dressed as a Chicken for Halloween finds a girl dressed as an egg. Apparently the answer is Chicken.



(Edit: Typo)

Score: 770

A guy goes to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken and meets a girl dressed as an egg. The answer is the chicken.

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Went out last night dressed as a chicken and got with a girl dressed as an egg A life long question was answered. It was the chicken

Score: 540

I went to a costume party dressed as an egg and I met a girl dressed as a chicken. I said to her "So are we going to find out, or what?"

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Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg? Because in France one egg is un oeuf.

Score: 450

I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg. I said to him, “I bet I know what your favorite Christian festival is.”

He said, “Have to love Easter, baby.”

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The egg said to the pot of boiling water.... It's gonna take a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning

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What did the egg say to the boiling water? "Sorry, it's going to take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night."

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What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take me a while to get hard, i just got laid by a chick.

Score: 280

Cute names to call your girlfriend with 1.sugar

2.honey

3.flour

4.egg

5.1/2 lb butter

6.stir

7.pour into pan

8.preheat to 375°

Score: 238

I went out dressed as a chicken last night. and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken.

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Last night I went to a costume party dressed as a chicken and met a woman dressed as an egg. One thing led to another ... and a lifelong question was answered.

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What did the egg say to the boiling water? It may take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by this chick.

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Chicken and an egg A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette. The egg, with a dissatisfied look on it's face, rolls over and remarks, "Well, I guess we answered that question."

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How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it? By dropping it seven feet - it won't break for the first six.

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Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast? Because one egg is un oeuf.

Score: 171

I'm ordering a chicken and an egg from Amazon I'll let you know

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I went out dressed as a chicken last night and met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered:

​

It was the chicken.

Score: 156

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It may take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night.

Score: 135

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take me a minute to get hard, I was just laid by this chick.

Score: 71

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just came out of this chick.

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What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by some chick.

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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon this morning I’ll let you know

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What did the fresh egg say to the boiling pot of water? "It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning."

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The difference between chicken salad and egg salad... Is largely timing.

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I just ordered a chicken and an egg off Amazon I’ll let you know

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What did the egg say to the hot water? Give me a minute to get hard, i just got laid by some chick.

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What do you call a waffle that you've dropped on the beach? A sandy Egg


(*My daughter hit me with this one this morning*)

Score: 5

Only after I started eating out my girlfriend did I realize she was on her period. Egg on my face, right?

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New Egg Jokes

I love egg and chicken jokes! ... Or are they chicken and egg jokes??

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What do you call an abusive chicken? An egg beater

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Did you hear about the egg that moonlighted as a comedian? It was full of yolks.

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My chocolate egg had special inner foil, and a grand prize inside: on-set passes to the filming of Multiverse of Madness! Thanks for the Strange, gold Kinder!

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We're still interrogating the egg on the crime he committed... he hasn't talked yet, but don't worry, he'll crack eventually.

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I made my family easter egg hunt easier this year for the kids. There are 20 eggs in the middle of the street.

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A Scotsman awakes one morning to find his wife dead beside him. He shouts downstairs to the cook:
"Only one egg for breakfast this morning, Mary!"

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Why did the breakfast sausage laugh? Because the egg cracked a yoke

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I went to a sports day in Japan today. I t was quite enjoyable but I must say the egg and chopstick race was a challenge.

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A chicken and an egg were in bed together. The chicken was smoking a cigarette and the egg looked frustrated. I guess that answers that question.

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I decided to teach my cousins a lesson about Easter and April Fools today... So I sent them on an easter egg hunt but didn't hide any eggs

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I’ve always wondered why French people seemed so skinny But then I realized an egg is *un oeuf*

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I had trouble making an egg this morning I messed up the whole flipping thing.

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Dirtiest clean joke I know... What did the egg say to the boiling water....? It's gonna take a minute for me to get hard, I just came outta this chik! :p

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What moment is Batman History was the worst for Batman? Christmas.

He lays an egg, smells bad, and Joker gets away.

Also his parents are dead.

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Two speed are swiming next to each other when one of them says, "Hey buddy, how far until we get to the egg?"

The other one says, "Relax. We just passed the tonsils."

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Why couldnt the egg make it through boot camp? Cuz he cracks under pressure.

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What's a French egg's favourite airforce? L'oueftwaffe.

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