Egg Jokes

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Funniest Egg Jokes

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon today I'll let you know.

Score: 13205
Funny Egg Jokes
Score: 7900

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

Score: 2722

Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it. Concrete floors are really hard to crack.

Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"

Score: 1828

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar..... The bartender says " Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here".

Score: 1745

I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know

Score: 1663

Give a man an egg and he’ll eat for a day Breed a man that can lay an egg and suddenly you’re “taking science too far.”

Score: 1499

I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....... I will keep you posted.

Score: 1208

A man goes to a Halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg. The answer is the chicken.

Score: 1187

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? It might take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid this morning.

Score: 1009

I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered The chicken

Score: 861

A guy dressed as a Chicken for Halloween finds a girl dressed as an egg. Apparently the answer is Chicken.



(Edit: Typo)

Score: 770

A guy goes to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken and meets a girl dressed as an egg. The answer is the chicken.

Score: 613

Went out last night dressed as a chicken and got with a girl dressed as an egg A life long question was answered. It was the chicken

Score: 540

I went to a costume party dressed as an egg and I met a girl dressed as a chicken. I said to her "So are we going to find out, or what?"

Score: 461

Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg? Because in France one egg is un oeuf.

Score: 450

I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg. I said to him, “I bet I know what your favorite Christian festival is.”

He said, “Have to love Easter, baby.”

Score: 447

The egg said to the pot of boiling water.... It's gonna take a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning

Score: 434

What did the egg say to the boiling water? "Sorry, it's going to take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night."

Score: 382

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take me a while to get hard, i just got laid by a chick.

Score: 280

Cute names to call your girlfriend with 1.sugar

2.honey

3.flour

4.egg

5.1/2 lb butter

6.stir

7.pour into pan

8.preheat to 375°

Score: 238

I went out dressed as a chicken last night. and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken.

Score: 217

Last night I went to a costume party dressed as a chicken and met a woman dressed as an egg. One thing led to another ... and a lifelong question was answered.

Score: 196

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It may take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by this chick.

Score: 182

Chicken and an egg A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette. The egg, with a dissatisfied look on it's face, rolls over and remarks, "Well, I guess we answered that question."

Score: 180

How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it? By dropping it seven feet - it won't break for the first six.

Score: 173

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast? Because one egg is un oeuf.

Score: 171

I'm ordering a chicken and an egg from Amazon I'll let you know

Score: 171

I went out dressed as a chicken last night and met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered:

​

It was the chicken.

Score: 156

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It may take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night.

Score: 135

What tool do you use to open an egg? A hatchet

Score: 120

How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it? Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily.

Score: 109

Last night I went out dressed as a chicken and got with a girl who was dressed as an egg... Life long question was answered

It was the chicken

Score: 103

Just ordered a chicken and egg from Amazon I’ll let you know

Score: 97

What did the egg say to the boiling water? "Not sure I can get hard..just got laid 10 minutes ago"

Score: 95

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster came first.

Score: 58

A chicken and an egg are laying in bed... When the chicken sits up, lights a cigar and says " Well I guess that answers that question."

Score: 53

I ordered a chicken and an egg online I'll let you know...

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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon this morning I’ll let you know

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Who came first? I went out last night dressed as a chicken and ended up getting with a girl who was dressed as an egg. A lifelong question has been answered; it was the chicken.

Score: 40

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New Egg Jokes

My chocolate egg had special inner foil, and a grand prize inside: on-set passes to the filming of Multiverse of Madness! Thanks for the Strange, gold Kinder!

Score: 2

Only after I started eating out my girlfriend did I realize she was on her period. Egg on my face, right?

Score: 5

What do you call a waffle that you've dropped on the beach? A sandy Egg


(*My daughter hit me with this one this morning*)

Score: 5

We're still interrogating the egg on the crime he committed... he hasn't talked yet, but don't worry, he'll crack eventually.

Score: 2

Person 1: What came first the chicken or the egg? Person 2: I'm pretty sure the rooster came first.

Score: 9

Person 1: What came first, the chicken or the egg? Person 2: Heh, I think it was the rooster.

Score: 2

A Scotsman awakes one morning to find his wife dead beside him. He shouts downstairs to the cook:
"Only one egg for breakfast this morning, Mary!"

Score: 2

What do you get when you cross a baby with an octopus? An angry letter from the ethics committee and immediate cessation of all funding.

(The joke about the man and the egg reminded me of this).

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A chicken and an egg were in bed together. The chicken was smoking a cigarette and the egg looked frustrated. I guess that answers that question.

Score: 3

What did the egg say to the boiling water? Don't expect me to get hard in three minutes, I just got laid this morning!

Score: 33

What did the egg say before it got boiled? It's gonna take me awhile to get hard, I just got laid by a chick!

Score: 34

What's the difference between an egg and a beetroot You can beat an egg but you can't beat a root

Score: 4

What happened to the egg when it got sick? It flu.

-Courtesy of my nine year old.

Score: 2

I make fun of my parents for not knowing how to use new technology But then again, I googled how to boil an egg

Score: 5

A man goes into a white supremacist diner.. He orders "2 eggs over easy."
The waiter brought out just egg whites.
"Where is the rest of my food?" Asked the patron
The waiter replied "Whites only in my diner! This is no yoke!"

Score: 4

Forget Chicken or Egg Time to think Civil or Nuclear

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Before becoming hard boiled, an egg says to a boiling pot of water: It may take me a while to get hard. I just got laid.

Score: 8

The age old question So a chicken and an egg are lying in bed, and the egg is smoking a cigarette. So the chicken turns to the egg and says, "well I guess that answers that question."

Score: 2

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The cockerel.

Score: 2

A chicken and an egg are laying in bed. The eggs lights a cigarette and says... "Well, I guess we answered that question"

Score: 3

I ordered a chicken and egg on Amazon today.... Now all we have to do is wait..

Score: 6

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? Give me 5 minutes to get hard - I just got laid.

Score: 30

What came first, the chicken or the egg? I always assumed the rooster came first.

Credit goes to: u/Bodhi_Thom

Score: 3

The Chicken and the Egg are lying in bed... The Chicken takes a drag of a cigarette and says... "Well, I guess that answers that question..."

Score: 13

I like my blacks how I like my egg yolks Beaten and separated from the whites

Score: 16

The worst (best?) name for an egg donor clinic? The Inside Scoop

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Did you hear about the employee who was hired by a rival Egg packing factory? You could say he was poached

Score: 3

A chicken and egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette. The egg says to herself, "I guess we answered that question."

Score: 31

Why did the frenchman only have one egg Because one is un oeuf

Score: 4

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Answer: The Rooster.

Score: 10

The difference between chicken salad and egg salad... Is largely timing.

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What did the egg say to the clown? You crack me up!

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TIL that excessive consumption of raw egg white can cause brittle hair, rashes, fungal infection, and anemia... I then imagined the hairless, hideous, and weak beast Gaston should have looked like.

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What's the difference between Elliot Rodger and an egg? The egg gets laid before it cracks.

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What did the egg say to the boiling water? "Be patient. It takes me a minute to get hard. I just got laid off by a chick."

Score: 2

What do you drink at Christmas if you're not sure about Christianity? Egg-nogstic

Score: 3

What did the day-old egg say to the other egg? I totally got laid last night.

Score: 6

Why are French omelettes so small? Because to them one egg is "un oeuf"

Score: 6

How did the egg get up the mountain? It scrambled up!

Score: 3

What did the egg say to the boiling water? How do you expect me to get hard when I got laid just a moment ago.

Score: 11

A guy threw an egg at me earlier so I beat him to death... I probably ovary-acted.

Score: 8

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take me awhile to get hard right now, I just got laid by some chick.

Score: 5

Store owner: Good morning Janet! What can i get for you? Janet: Something for dinner, please
Store owner: I have some lovely fresh ox tongue!
Janet: Oh, no! Yuck! I couldn't eat something that comes out of an animal's mouth! I'll just have a dozen egg

Score: 5

Whats the difference between you and an egg? An eggs gets laid, and you don't.

Score: 13

Why are hens so good at fire drills? They always know where to egg sit.

Score: 7

An egg and a Chicken are lying in bed... The egg lights a cigarette and says "well that answers that old question"

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What's the difference between an engineer and an egg? The egg got laid.

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How do you make an egg laugh? Tell him a yoke!

Score: 2

Who came first. The chicken or the egg A very embarrassed rooster

Score: 6

How many Chicago Policemen does it take to crack an egg? None. It fell down the stairs.

Score: 8

Went out dressed as a chicken last night and got with a girl who was dressed as an egg and a life-long question was answered... Turns out, it was the chicken!

Score: 34

What do you call boiling period blood in a saucepot? Egg drop soup.

Score: 4

What moment is Batman History was the worst for Batman? Christmas.

He lays an egg, smells bad, and Joker gets away.

Also his parents are dead.

Score: 2

Have you heard the joke about what's in the egg Sorry, you wouldn't find it funny it's more of an inside yolk.

Score: 10

What did one egg cell say to the other? I'm not ovary fond of you

Score: 2

What do you call an egg that is neither good nor bad? Mediyolkre.

Score: 12

What day does the egg fear most? Fry-day

Score: 2

What did the egg say after a night of partying? Omelette

Score: 2

What does a fresh egg say when you try to hardboil it? It'll take me about 20 minutes to get hard, I just got laid by some chick.

Score: 10

Why couldnt the egg make it through boot camp? Cuz he cracks under pressure.

Score: 3

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