Nerd Jokes

If I had a dollar for everytime someone called me a boring nerd.. I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25

Score: 11485
Funny Nerd Jokes
Score: 654

Nerd joke A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket and the clerk asks "any baggage to check?" The photon replies "No, I'm traveling light."

Score: 447

Q: How many geeks does it take to ruin a joke? A: You mean nerd, not geek. And not joke, but riddle. Proceed.

Score: 396

Just because someone found out how to connect a keyboard and a portable radio together doesn't make them a nerd That would be stereotyping.

Score: 292

My nerd friend just got a Ph.D. on the history of palindromes. He is now Dr.Awkward.

Score: 142

My crush rejected me for being a math nerd I was 2² to ask her out

Score: 95

[Nerd Joke] Yo momma's so fat she sees red lights as green... ...Doctors call this colour blindness, physicists call it gravitational blue-shift.

Score: 81

I asked a nerd what his New Year's resolution was. He said, "1920x1080".

Score: 35

The bully loomed threateningly over the nerd and said, "You know what snitches get don't you?" Ummm, "150 points?"

Score: 35

[Nerd joke] What do trespassers have in common with logical fallacies? They both violate the rules of the premises.

Score: 34

Classroom Nerd (In a high school class room)

Girl: Do you see that [email protected]#$ING nerd over there.
Teacher: Don't be so mean, he could be your boss one day.
Nerd: Sorry I don't plan on being a pimp

Score: 31

you know what really turns on a nerd? unprotected wifi

Score: 29

What do you call a nerd after highschool? Boss

Score: 24

What does a deaf math nerd speak? Sine language.

Score: 18

Come over to the Nerd side... We have Pi.

Score: 17

I can't eat whale blubber. I've tried it, I'm just not Inuit.

-my beloved nerd of a husband

Score: 16

A nerd walked into bar He wasn't wearing his glasses

Score: 15

Comeback Joke * nerds phone rings in class *
Cool Guy - awww, was that your mommy?
* whole class laughs *
Nerd Guy - nope, it was yours.
* whole class is silent *

Score: 13

From my 2yo sister Knock knock

Who's there


Banana who?

Banana cross the road you chicken nerd

Score: 12

What do you call a tall, obese computer nerd with a bladder control problem. A Big Fat Geek Wetting.

Score: 7

How to tell a difference between a Politician and chemistry nerd? Ask them to read the word- "unionized"

Score: 7

A knock sounds at a nerd's door... *Knock knock!*

"Who's there?"

"You know!"

"You know who?"

"Exactly. AVADA KEDAVRA!!!!!"

Score: 5

A Nerd joke.. A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket and the clerk asks "any baggage to check?" The photon replies "No, I'm traveling light."

Score: 5

"There's no escape..." ...says a nerd in front of a broken keyboard.

Score: 5

My crush rejected me for being a Math nerd. I was 2^2 to ask her out.

Score: 5

Nerd joke of the week If Frodo is a Hobbit, are 8 Frodos a Hobbyte?

Score: 4

A nerd was invited to compete in the Trigonometry Mathletic Competition... he said:
"Sine me up!"

Score: 4

(Nerd joke warning) What do you call a pharmacy that *may* exist? An hypothecary

Score: 4

What's a kinky nerd into? USBDSM

Score: 4

My kid is a Geography nerd, he's 3.... He says, "when I'm Hungary, I eat Turkey!" I can never out dad-joke this fella.

Score: 3

When people tell me I'm a nerd for being good at math... ...I simply tell them that I'll add a knife to my hand, divide all their blood vessels, and subtract them from this world.

Score: 3

What's the difference between a nerd and a stoner? One gets high scores, while the other gets high on scores.

Score: 3

What do you say to a nerd that broke their arm? Wow, ***algebraic*** it?

Score: 2

Nerd's Guide To Pickup Lines 101 "If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA Helicase so I could unzip your genes.

Score: 2

My computer nerd friend had a failed suicide attempt today... He wrote CTRL-X on both of his wrists

Score: 2

If Hitler was a tech nerd He would've written a book called my comp

Score: 1

Growing up as a nerd in Mississippi, I found it difficult to connect to people around me. Until I learned about my great grandfather. Turns out, he used to LARP in the 40s. He was the Grand Wizard of his Guild.

Score: 1

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