Ice Breaker Jokes

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Funniest Ice Breaker Jokes

Funny Ice Breaker Jokes

What's not a good ice breaker? Titanic.

When I first meet someone I always want to talk about that movie with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio... but the Titanic is a terrible ice breaker.

I once tried greeting everyone I met by saying "titanic"... Turns out it wasn't a very good ice breaker

You know what a good ice breaker is? Global Warming...

Whenever I introduce myself, I always bring up the titantic. It's just such a good ice breaker!

Why is climate change good for shy people at parties? It’s a good ice breaker

When you meet someone new, talk about your views about global warming. It can be a real ice breaker.

The ice breaker I used for my graduation speech today What do you call the speed of an herbal beverage at any given time?

A. Veloci-tea

Do you know why so many people travel to Mount Everest to climb it It's a great ice breaker

When I meet someone new I always try to start a conversation about the Titanic Yes, I know. It's a terrible ice breaker.

what is harry Potter's favorite ice breaker? Scar Stories.

Hey girl wanna know a good ice breaker? The Titanic...

That's not a very good ice breaker

Have you heard about the new mints? They’re real ICE BREAKERS

What is a penguins favorite chewing gum? Ice breakers, Hi my name (insert your name here)

Why should you never tell jokes on the ice? The ice might crack up!

I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.

Never go ice skating on your first date in spring. It could be a bad ice breaker.

My Grandad used to tell me a story about how he once saw a Polar Bear fall from a great height ...He said it was a great ice breaker

*ba-dum-tschh*

What is a bad ice breaker ? The Titanic

Hey, are you one of the new guys? No I've always been a guy, why do you ask?

( I'm starting a new job in a few weeks, and I've been trying to come up with some new ice breakers. They're going to love me)

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Long Ice Breaker Jokes

A joke my philosophy professor told me

So philosophers are known to have horrible jokes, and this one is no exception. I'm just posting this for any philosophers who may or may not appreciate it.

John has a date tomorrow with a pretty girl from his philosophy class. He's a nervous fellow and is worried about how to break the ice and start a conversation. His dad notices his son is nervous and fretting over something, and asks him what the problem is.

"Oh dad, I have a date tomorrow and I don't know how to break the ice!"

"Well, son, that's easy! There are three things to talk about that will start a conversation. Food, family, and philosophy!"

So the next day, John goes to the ice cream parlor (it's an old joke) with his date. She stares at her ice cream and doesn't look up or speak at all. John is getting a little nervous, but remembers the ice breakers his dad taught him.

"Do you like pizza?"

The girl looks up from her food and says "No."

John, more nervous now, says "Oh. Well do you have a brother?"

His date once again looks up and says "NO!"

John, nervous as ever, is struggling to remember the third ice breaker his father taught him. Finally, he remembers! Philosophy!

John straightens his face and asks "Well, if you had a brother, would he like pizza?"

In his first trip to Japan, the businessman...

...is very nervous about meeting his wealthiest client, Mr. Nakagawa, whom he will be playing golf with the day after he arrives in the country. He takes a cab from the airport to his hotel and heads to the bar to drink his nerves away. Over the course of countless cups of sake, he meets a lovely young Japanese girl and ends up bringing her back to his room for a wild evening of fun.

He wakes up the next morning, refreshed and full of confidence, and makes his way to the golf course to meet his client. The two head off to the first tee. Mr. Nakagawa tees first, clobbers the ball, and sinks an astonishing hole-in-one.

The man goes to congratulate Mr. Nakagawa on his feat, but decides it would be an excellent ice breaker if he did so in his client's native language. He quickly thinks back to the excited squeals of his lovely companion the night before.

"Machigatta ana!", he exclaims.

Puzzled, Mr. Nakagawa looks at the man and asks, "what do you mean, 'wrong hole'?"

Help me?

Alright, this one isn't a joke, but this is one of my favorite boards to lurk, and I need help. I'm giving a wedding speech tomorrow. I'm the groom. I really only have enough space in the speech for one joke. I want to insert it early in the speech, and have it be a great ice breaker. Nothing overly offensive, just something to get things going. If you come up with something I can use, I might be inclined to reward the best one with gold. (I've browsed for hours and can't think of a thing) If nothing else, you'll get a heck of a lot of karma with a great joke). Help me, fellow Redditors!

Edit: formatting and rewording

I went to Ireland's Titanic Exhibit and requested a glass of water.

The barista asked me if I wanted ice with that.
Unsettled, I whispered: "...Is that safe here?"

We're miles apart now, but I'll always appreciate my time there, because if it wasn't for her subsequent laughter, I'd have never known how great I was at ice breakers.

Staying entertained on a long flight

So I was on a flight, and it was a long flight. Went from New York to California and I didnt bring any entertainment with me. So I'm sitting there bored out of my mind. I look over and see this young blond girl reading a book. She was pretty cute so I decided to strike up an conversation with her. I used the book as an ice breaker. I asked her if she enjoyed reading. Her face got real red in embarassment and she said yes. I asked her what she was reading and her face got red again. She said it was a book on human sexuality. I said oh that's fascinating, what part are you on. She said she was on the chapter of the male reproductive organs, and she said interestingly enough the book states that males with native american descent have the thickest penises, and males with polish descent have the longest penises. I said oh by the way I forgot to introduce myself I'm Tonto Polishinski

A great expedition to the North Pole

The year was 1904, and two men decided to try and be the first to the North Pole. Captain Richard Speech and Lewis Clemens hired their crew and set aboard their new ice breaker towards the Arctic Circle. Now, Lewis was a scientist, and mute. However, he wanted to empower others to show that his ailment was no hindrance toward exploration, so he often carried a journal to write what he discovered about the alien landscape he made on their voyage and tell the crew what was on his mind. Hesitant at first, the crew slowly grew fond of Lewis and his silent determination. Weeks go by, and the ice gets thicker and thicker as they get closer to the pole. The ship makes slower and slower progress, until it is forced to stop. The crew gets out to break up the ice by hand, still set on reaching their destination. The ice froze in the crews hair, creating icicles on mustaches, and frosting breath as they labored away. An hour later, Lewis spots what he thinks are seals further down the ice, a short walk from the ship. He motions to Richard that he will be back soon, and sets off to record his observations. Meanwhile, Richard notices that the ice has gouged holes in the starboard side of his ship, and has been taking on a steady amount of water. The crew, having been busy outside breaking ice, fails to notice. The captain, in a panic, starts toward the drain pumps and wades his way towards the switch. A massive groan is heard and the side gives way, flooding the underbelly and causes the ship to sink. The crew stands by, watching their ship sink into the frozen ocean in horror. Meanwhile, Lewis noticed the sound and turned towards the ship and frantically runs towards the crew. By the time he arrives, the ship was gone. Needless to say, Lewis was Speechless

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