Rain Jokes


Funniest Rain Jokes

Just asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?"

She said "it will, and don't call me Shirley"

...Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

Score: 2129

The sky above looked ominous, so I asked Siri, "Surely, it's not going to rain again today?!" It replied, "It is and don't call me Shirley!"

Guess I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode…

Score: 1928

Just asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?" She said, "it is, and dont call me Shirley".

Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

Score: 1380

A Russian named Rudolf woke up one morning He looked out the window and announced, _"It's raining."_

His wife said, _"No dear, it's sleeting."_

He replied, _"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."_

Score: 805

Two blondes are locked out of their car... The first blonde is trying to unlock the car using a coat hanger. The second says to the first "hurry up! It looks like it's going to rain and the top's down!"

Score: 342
Funny Rain Jokes
Score: 294

I think my wife is starting to get depressed with all this rain we’re getting. Everyday, I see her at the window with a sad look on her face. If it gets any worse I might have to let her back inside.

Score: 288

Husband and wife are arguing... The husband thinks it's raining

His wife says, "No honey, that's snow"

So they ask Rudolph, their soviet friend what he thinks.

He says, "That is rain, comrade."

The husband says, "See! Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Score: 213

One afternoon, A Viking called Rudolph was looking out his window when he suddenly said , “ It’s going to rain in seven minutes.” His wife asked, “How do you know?” His response:” Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

Score: 205

I just asked Siri "Surely it's not going to rain today?". Siri replied "It is, and don't call me Shirley." I forgot to take my phone off airplane mode

Score: 94

Why are Native Americans the most successfull strippers? Because when they dance, they make it rain.

Score: 85

A Viking is arguing with his wife "It's definitely hail" says Gertha
"No, it's rain!" Says Rudolf
"No, it's round and hard, it's hail!" She retorts.
Getting very flustered now, Rudolf shouts "Look! Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear!"

Score: 68

When does soil get rich? When mother nature makes it rain.

Score: 67

Why don't Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore? April showers bring Mayflowers.

Score: 57

why is rain the best kind of music? because it has amazing drops.

Score: 56

Why are native americans the best strippers? Because when they dance they make it rain.

Score: 48

One night a viking named Rudolf the Red was looking out his window when he said, "It's going to rain". His wife asked, "How do you know".

"Because Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear".

Score: 48

My water stopped working for a bit today. My wife immediately said, "I'm going outside to dig a hole to catch the rain water!"
After the wife is gone I said to the rest of the family, "she means well"

Score: 47

I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain but it hurt like hail.

Score: 40

I just helped a poor old lady up off the floor after she had slipped in the rain. Well, I presume she's poor, she only had £2.57 in her purse.

Score: 38

When does it rain money? When there's change in the weather.

Score: 35

Two blondes are trying to unlock their car with a coat hanger. One says, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top's down!"

Score: 34

What do you call Tatooine rain on a hot day? Lukewarm Skywater

Score: 29

Why don't ghosts go out in the rain? It dampens their spirits

Score: 29

I told my African friends a joke about rain They didn't get it

Score: 28

Pouring rain, New York City. A drunk hails a cab. Cabbie rolls down the windo, the drunk man says "hey mister, do you gave room for half a chicken and a six-pack in here"?

Annoyed, the cabbie says "sure"

the drunk says BLUGHHHHHH

Score: 27


Score: 26

What reward does a light rain get? A precipitation trophy!

Score: 26

One night a viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window and said to his wife: "Tomorrow it's going to rain." His wife asked: "How do you know?"
Rudolph answered: "Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Score: 24

My kids soccer championship was canceled due to rain and sleet. So every player got a precipitation trophy.

Score: 24

My half Native American friend Les tried to teach me to rain dance, but we could only ever muster a light mist... I guess I'm just going to have to make dew with Les.

Score: 16

"Dad, why did you name me Rain?" Dad: "Because rain was the first thing that fell on you"

Rain: "Oh, I never knew that. Is that why my sister is named Snow as well?"

Dad: "Yes, you are absolutely right"

*a baby cries in the corner*

Dad: Shut up Brick!

Score: 16

what do you call a bear that's been in the rain too long a drizzly bear

Score: 12

Why are native Americans such good strippers? Every time they dance they make it rain.

Score: 11

Why are Native American strippers the best? When they dance they make it rain.

Score: 9

(works best when looks like it's gonna rain) "I hope the rain keeps up..." ...so it don't come down!"

my great grandfather used to say that all the time. Not sure if anyone here would care but its almost funny

Score: 9

What is Irish and sits out in the rain? Patty O'Furniture

Score: 8

I love summer in Ireland The rain gets warmer.

Score: 7

Two blondes are trying to unlock a car.... The first blonde suggests picking it with a clothes hanger. As she struggles to unlock it the other blonde panicks and exclaims,"Hurry up the top is down and it's starting to rain!".

Score: 7

*My iPhone on Airplane mode* Me: Siri, surely it must rain today

Siri: It won't and don't call me Shirley

Score: 6

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New Rain Jokes

A Russian named Rudolph looked out of the window one morning. "It's raining." He announced

His wife looked out also and then said, "No, it's sleeting."

"It's raining," insisted the husband. "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

Score: 2

How is a Jew like a strip club patron? They both make it rain.

Score: 4

I met a person who said they would set the world on fire... ​


I don't think the Amazon Rain Forest was a good place to start

Score: 1

Do you think the expression "take a rain check" is especially apt among people who participate in golden showers? "I can't pee on you today, let's take a rain check."

Score: 1

I forgot it there was a tropical dress code, today at work. I showed up in a heavy raincoat. My boss (who was angry with me): What the heck Johnson! Didn't you get my email on the dress code?


Me: I take it you've never been to a tropical rain forest.

Score: 3

Where does rain go to get a ride. The precipistation.

Score: 3

What does a tesla do in the rain? The electric slide

Score: 1

I saw my ex the other day and she told me she was wet... I was like “yeah me too”

Rain sucks lol

Score: 2

I screwed up the scene in the movie where I walked through an incredibly light rain. It was a mist take.

Score: 3

What follows four days of rain in Seattle? Tuesday

Score: 5

What did the redneck say when it started to rain ice? *"What the hail?"*

i'll ^see ^^my ^^^way ^^^^out.

Score: 3

I was at an auction that tried to pass off a guitar as the one Prince wrote Purple Rain on. You could tell it was fake because Prince puts stars over his i's.

Score: 1

My friend asked if it would rain today I said, water you talking about?

Score: 1

My kettle sounds like thunder and rain. I think a storm is brewing.

Score: 5

I like to walk in the rain so that no one can see my tears..... These are the kind of people that pee in swimming pools.

Score: 1

So what would you call a veterinary doctor riding a Corvette in the rain? A vet, in the wet, in the 'Vette.

Score: 1

I only drink twice a year When it rains and when it doesn't rain

Score: 4

Why are Native Americans the best people to take with you to a strip club? They can literally make it rain.

Score: 6

Why was the deer afraid of the rain? Because it wasn't a rein-deer!

Score: 1

Jim said he masturbates under two conditions: 1. When it rains.

2. When it doesnt rain.

Score: 1

What do doggystyle and driving in the rain have in common? One wrong move and someone's gettin rear ended.

Score: 3

Rain Rain Go Away That's what all my haters say.
-cumulonimbus clouds probably

Score: 4

The new Italian car tires are awesome! Dago through rain!
Dago through snow!
Dago through ice!

But when dago flat,

Score: 2

Did you hear about the rain at the campground? It got in tents.

Score: 3

TIL. Owls cannot mate in the rain. Apparently it is too wet to woo.

Score: 2

An essay on cricket match Teacher told all students
in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.

All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!

Score: 2

What do you call it when your Cloud (IT) services go down? Rain

Score: 3

How do witches fly in the rain? With a mop.

Score: 4

Which country hates rain? Bah Rain!

Score: 2

How we can solve the issue with Syria.... Fill those tomahawk missles with Pepsi and it's all going to be right as rain.

Score: 1

Why does it always seem to rain on Valentine's Day? So the boys are as wet as everyone else, come evening.

Score: 2

Rain Drop, Drop Trop. Cocaine made Carrie Fisher's heart stop.

Score: 2

Rain drop, drop top.... Mariah Carey's career ended before the ball dropped.

Score: 4

Eying the distant storm, Santa said to Rudolph: "It's going to rain, dear!"

Score: 1

One night a Viking One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, "Its going to rain"
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear"

Score: 2

Q. What do clouds do when they become rich? A. They make it rain!

Score: 3

My laptop got left outside during a storm. I tried turning it on and the screen blew and the keyboard started smoking. That's the first time I've seen the rain set fire to a Dell.

Score: 2

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