Rain Jokes

Contents

Funniest Rain Jokes

Just asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?"

She said "it will, and don't call me Shirley"

...Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

Score: 2129

The sky above looked ominous, so I asked Siri, "Surely, it's not going to rain again today?!" It replied, "It is and don't call me Shirley!"

Guess I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode…

Score: 1928

Just asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?" She said, "it is, and dont call me Shirley".

Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

Score: 1380

A Russian named Rudolf woke up one morning He looked out the window and announced, _"It's raining."_

His wife said, _"No dear, it's sleeting."_

He replied, _"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."_

Score: 805

Two blondes are locked out of their car... The first blonde is trying to unlock the car using a coat hanger. The second says to the first "hurry up! It looks like it's going to rain and the top's down!"

Score: 342
Funny Rain Jokes
Score: 294

I think my wife is starting to get depressed with all this rain we’re getting. Everyday, I see her at the window with a sad look on her face. If it gets any worse I might have to let her back inside.

Score: 288

Husband and wife are arguing... The husband thinks it's raining

His wife says, "No honey, that's snow"

So they ask Rudolph, their soviet friend what he thinks.

He says, "That is rain, comrade."

The husband says, "See! Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Score: 213

One afternoon, A Viking called Rudolph was looking out his window when he suddenly said , “ It’s going to rain in seven minutes.” His wife asked, “How do you know?” His response:” Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

Score: 205

I just asked Siri "Surely it's not going to rain today?". Siri replied "It is, and don't call me Shirley." I forgot to take my phone off airplane mode

Score: 94

Why are Native Americans the most successfull strippers? Because when they dance, they make it rain.

Score: 85

A Viking is arguing with his wife "It's definitely hail" says Gertha
"No, it's rain!" Says Rudolf
"No, it's round and hard, it's hail!" She retorts.
Getting very flustered now, Rudolf shouts "Look! Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear!"

Score: 68

When does soil get rich? When mother nature makes it rain.

Score: 67

Why don't Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore? April showers bring Mayflowers.

Score: 57

why is rain the best kind of music? because it has amazing drops.

Score: 56

Why are native americans the best strippers? Because when they dance they make it rain.

Score: 48

One night a viking named Rudolf the Red was looking out his window when he said, "It's going to rain". His wife asked, "How do you know".


"Because Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear".

Score: 48

My water stopped working for a bit today. My wife immediately said, "I'm going outside to dig a hole to catch the rain water!"
After the wife is gone I said to the rest of the family, "she means well"

Score: 47

I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain but it hurt like hail.

Score: 40

I just helped a poor old lady up off the floor after she had slipped in the rain. Well, I presume she's poor, she only had £2.57 in her purse.

Score: 38

When does it rain money? When there's change in the weather.

Score: 35

Two blondes are trying to unlock their car with a coat hanger. One says, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top's down!"

Score: 34

What do you call Tatooine rain on a hot day? Lukewarm Skywater

Score: 29

Why don't ghosts go out in the rain? It dampens their spirits

Score: 29

I told my African friends a joke about rain They didn't get it

Score: 28

Pouring rain, New York City. A drunk hails a cab. Cabbie rolls down the windo, the drunk man says "hey mister, do you gave room for half a chicken and a six-pack in here"?

Annoyed, the cabbie says "sure"

the drunk says BLUGHHHHHH

Score: 27

WHY DO COWS LIE DOWN IN THE RAIN? TO KEEP EACH UDDER DRY.

Score: 26

What reward does a light rain get? A precipitation trophy!

Score: 26

One night a viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window and said to his wife: "Tomorrow it's going to rain." His wife asked: "How do you know?"
Rudolph answered: "Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Score: 24

My kids soccer championship was canceled due to rain and sleet. So every player got a precipitation trophy.

Score: 24

Why are native Americans such good strippers? Every time they dance they make it rain.

Score: 11

(works best when looks like it's gonna rain) "I hope the rain keeps up..." ...so it don't come down!"

my great grandfather used to say that all the time. Not sure if anyone here would care but its almost funny

Score: 9

Why do Italians throw pizza onto the field after they win a match? Because they rain supreme.

Score: 8

What follows four days of rain in Seattle? Tuesday

Score: 5

How is a Jew like a strip club patron? They both make it rain.

Score: 4

Did you hear about the rain at the campground? It got in tents.

Score: 3

What do doggystyle and driving in the rain have in common? One wrong move and someone's gettin rear ended.

Score: 3

What did the redneck say when it started to rain ice? *"What the hail?"*

i'll ^see ^^my ^^^way ^^^^out.

Score: 3

Where does rain go to get a ride. The precipistation.

Score: 3

I forgot it there was a tropical dress code, today at work. I showed up in a heavy raincoat. My boss (who was angry with me): What the heck Johnson! Didn't you get my email on the dress code?

​

Me: I take it you've never been to a tropical rain forest.

Score: 3

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New Rain Jokes

Why does Alfred the Impolite Communist always stay inside when it rains? Because Rude Alf the Red knows rain dear.

Score: 2

Why don't Native Americans do rain dances in April? Because April showers bring May flowers and May flowers bring white men.

Score: 2

Did you hear about the guy who was shocked to death while standing at the mic when it started to rain at the classical music concert? He was the conductor

Score: 0

What happens when a midget robot goes out in the rain? It shorts out

Score: 1

I met a person who said they would set the world on fire... ​

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I don't think the Amazon Rain Forest was a good place to start

Score: 1

The phrase “raining cats and dogs” has been taken out of common usage in California The phrase was deemed to be offensive, giving a platform to those who throw animals out of windows.

It was also noted. There is no rain in California.

Score: 2

Having spent 3 weeks in the rain forest with no access to technology... Upon her return, Jenny didn't know she'd been Borneo

Score: 2

What does a tesla do in the rain? The electric slide

Score: 1

What happens when the temperature drops during a torrential rain? The weather goes straight to hail.

Score: 2

I saw my ex the other day and she told me she was wet... I was like “yeah me too”


Rain sucks lol

Score: 2

Why is there no rain in South Africa? They forgot to /toggledownfall.

They also forgot to make their server private, so there's a decent bit of PvP and even PvE over there.

Score: 2

I was at an auction that tried to pass off a guitar as the one Prince wrote Purple Rain on. You could tell it was fake because Prince puts stars over his i's.

Score: 1

My friend asked if it would rain today I said, water you talking about?

Score: 1

I apparently have a fetish for rain I'm soaking wet whenever I go out in it

Score: 1

So what would you call a veterinary doctor riding a Corvette in the rain? A vet, in the wet, in the 'Vette.

Score: 1

How we can solve the issue with Syria.... Fill those tomahawk missles with Pepsi and it's all going to be right as rain.

Score: 1

Uber Ark Driver Needed in Florida Panhandle area Just got a call from a friend on the Florida coast where a lot of rain is falling. He told me an Uber Ark driver position is available.

Score: 2

What type of curry sets fire to the rain? A-Dhal

Score: 1

My own joke that I'm incredibly proud of: What kind of weather do Black Prince tomatoes grow best in? Purple Rain

Score: 1

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