Random Jokes

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Funniest Random Jokes

Funny Random Jokes
Score: 20568

9/10 people. Accordion to research, 9/10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Score: 1711

Jehovah’s Witness don’t celebrate Halloween. I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming up to their door.

Score: 1055

Jehovah's Witness don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their door

Score: 988

TIL Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate halloween.. guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their doors

Score: 784

We had random drug testing at work today. The pcp was my favourite.

Score: 519

The internet is an amazing thing. One minute I'm at work looking up
random pages, passing the time, the
next minute I'm at home looking for a new job.

Score: 457

I heard Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their door

Score: 431

What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with their hands and makes goofy noises at random volumes, and the other can't hear.

Score: 372

I have a condition where I spontaneously tell jokes at random times I think it's a gag reflex.

Score: 366

Me: Doc, I am suddenly afraid of random letters Doc: You Are?

Me: *screams*

Doc: Oh I See...

Me: *screaming intesifies*

Score: 347

The internet is amazing One minute you're at work looking at random webpages; the next, you're at home looking for a new job

Score: 318

A Man walked into a bar with a gun The man - Which one of you F*cked my wife?!

Random guy in the bar - YOU DON'T HAVE THAT MANY BULLETS!

Score: 273

Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking at their doors all the time.

Score: 241

A Linux Joke In computing, what's the only way to generate a truly random string?

Put a Windows user in front of VI and tell him to quit.

Score: 113

People are like lottery tickets. You can point to a random one, say it's a loser, and you'll be right most of the time.

Score: 91

H.o.m.e.w.o.r.k Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge

Score: 88

I see why Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween, They must dislike random people coming up to their doors.

Score: 88

Interesting Research Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Score: 88

Two random variables were talking in a bar They thought they were being discrete but I heard them continuously.

Score: 82

My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop pointing out random exits and entrances I said: "There's the door"

Score: 73

My friend developed a video streaming app that rejects every choice you make, and plays random Russian videos instead He calls it *Nyetflix*

Score: 58

Jehovas witnesses don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't appreciate random people turning up at their doors.

Score: 57

me: i'm terrified of random letters therapist: you are?

me: [screams]

therapist: oh i see

me: [screaming intensifies]

Score: 57

Why do Jehovah Witness’s hate Halloween? They don’t like random people knocking on their door.

Score: 56

Jehova's witnesses don't celebrate halloween I guess they just don't appreciate random people coming up and knocking on their doors.

Score: 51

Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't like when random people come knocking on their door.

Score: 50

I'm very good at remembering random facts. For example, there are 3,500 different types of lice.

And that's just off the top of my head.

Score: 47

I have a jar in my garage labeled, "My Bachelor Years." It's filled with a bunch of random screws.

Score: 44

Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween; I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors.

Score: 42

Whats the difference between a piano a can of tuna and a bucket of glue... You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna









(Random person) "what about the bucket of glue?"


(You) "I knew you would get stuck on that"

Score: 12

Our Business is implementing random drug testing... I'm OK with doing most of them but I'm kinda nervous about trying Crack.

Score: 11

Scientists have discovered a new element that appears and disappears at random times. They are calling it the element of... SURPRISE!

Score: 5

I've started to wonder why the UK doesn't just pick a random kid from Eton to sort out Brexit ..I mean, he's going to have to do it eventually

Score: 3

I whispered in this random woman's ear and she told me her favourite Alfred Hitchcock film. "Psycho," she said.

Score: 2

A random person helped me finish my origami swan one the train today. Thanks for the fold, kind stranger.

Score: 2

A random stranger laughed at how I was lactose intolerant How dairy

Score: 1

What do you say when someone does something really random? Wednesday, Thursday, Friday

Score: 1

A random person came up to me and said I look crazy I’m not. I have food allergies. It’s hard to be crazy and allergic to peanuts.

Score: 1

Some random dude bodyslammed me at a rave and almost broke my back He was angry that I didn't take my hat off when 009 Sound System's Dreamscape started playing.

Score: 1

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New Random Jokes

What do you call it when you sleep with a random Mexican? Juan night stand

Score: 0

Me: *trying not to randomly laugh while at a funeral* Random person: I have a very great friend in Rome called Biggus Dickus...

Score: 0

Dr Dr I can’t stop adding random letters to the end of words Sounds like a case of appendicitis...

Score: 0

Random Guy at Chipotle A random guy at Chipotle said "give me a high five" and afterwards said "you should wash that hand"...not sure whether to laugh or not.

Score: 1

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