At the zoo I noticed a slice of toast in one of the enclosures.
I asked the keeper, 'How did that toast get into the cage?'
'It was bread in captivity' she replied.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.. Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog...
I can't take my dog to the park anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. Guess that's what i get for buying a pure bread dog.
Did you guys know that the Soviet Union made the best bread in history? People would wait days in line for a single piece
I went to a French zoo There was a baguette in a cage, so I asked the keeper what that was about and apparently it was bread in captivity. (All credit to the wife for that one)
What do you call an Irish baker?
A ginger bread man.
Just came up with this. Sorry for your eyes.
Wife at the dinner table: Please toast some bread for me.
The lazy husband raised his wine glass and said, "To bread."
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. I guess that's what I get for getting a pure bread dog.
I went to the zoo today and saw a bagel locked up in a cage. Apparently it was bread in captivity.
I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage I guess you could say it was bread in captivity
The soviet union actually made the best bread in the world. People would stand in line for days just to get a piece of it.
Just back from the zoo. Saw a slice of toast lying in one of the enclosures. It was bread in captivity.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity
Does anyone else feel that white bread is superior?
Or am I just breadjudiced?
Perfect day for a dad joke. Happy Fathers Day, folks!
Two homeless dudes sit on a park bench
One askes the other: Did you bring bread for the pigeons?
The other replies: No, I eat them without the bread.
I went to the zoo and I saw a baguette in a cage. I asked the zookeeper about it and he said it was bread in captivity.
A programmer's wife tells him to go to the store
She says 'buy a loaf of bread, if they have eggs, buy a dozen."
He comes home with 12 loaves of bread
A wife sends her programmer husband to the store for bread.
As he's leaving, she says, "if they have eggs, get a dozen."
He comes home with 12 loaves of bread
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage... The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.
Man visits a dentist with broken teeth
Dentist.:- how did you manage to break these three teeth. .?
Man:- my wife bakeda bread that was too hard.
Dentist.:- you could have refused to eat it
Man:- that's exactly how this happened...
Yesterday at the zoo I saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale... I gave her some bread crumbs and left her in the forest.
Reporter to the world’s first trillionaire: “Sir, what are you going to do with all that money?”. “I can buy a chicken and some bread now!”, says Abou, while walking out of his bank in Zimbabwe
A guy walks into a bakery He buys bread, and the baker asks if he'd like his bread bagged in paper or plastic. The guy replies, "Baguette however you want".
I've decided that from next week I'm going to dress as a different bread every day. Roll on Monday.
I was at the zoo the other day when I noticed a baguette in one of the enclosures... I went up to the zookeeper and asked why there was a baguette in a zoo. He replied "oh that?! It's bread in captivity"
I used to work at a restaurant, but I wasn’t a good cook. I could make some good toast though. It was my bread and butter.
What happened to the Indian bread when it left the country? It became a Naan Residential Indian.
Honestly, if I had to offer you lot money for every bread joke.. Y'all would have a pun per nickel.
I was soliciting bread for local restaurants, when one owner yelled at me. He told me to quit loafin’ around.
I can't take my dog to the park because the ducks try to bite him. I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.
Matthew McConaughey walks into a bakery...
Matthew: "Can I get three loaves of bread please?"
Baker: "What type do you want sir?"
Matthew: "All rye, all rye, all rye."
They say you can't reverse a chemical reaction But the more bread I eat, the doughier I become.
What does the sign outside a pathology lab say? “For you it’s stool and urine, but it’s bread and butter for us.”
I don't understand why a sandwich is more expensive the more ingredients there are. Shouldn't pure bread be more expensive?
Did you hear about the French man who fell off his roof onto a pile of bread?
He survived, but was in a lot of pain.
(Le pain means bread in French)
An Indian bakery was handing out bread to help relieve people affected by corona I’m pretty sure they were naan profit
I can't take my dog to the pond for exercise because the ducks keep attacking him That's what you get for buying a pure bread dog
I just asked my wife to put a nurses outfit on
She said why? Are you feeling horny?
I said no, we need bread and milk
There was no bread at the grocery store,
so I bought a couple bags of bread crumbs and now have a weekend project.
I got the last two loaves of bread at the store. This old lady was behind me and she saw. She looked weak and feeble so I reached into her trolly and took her milk and tissue.
If Black Panther made Jewish bread for Thor's party would it be T'Challa's Valhalla gala challah?
I went to the zoo and saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said it was bread in captivity.
How do you know a man is a programmer?
Send him shopping and tell him: "Get a loaf of bread and if they have eggs get 10."
If he comes back with 10 loaves of bread, he's a programmer.