Men need to stop staring and yelling at me when I wear yoga pants. I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me, because it's comfortable... Who cares if you can see my balls?
I just signed up for a yoga class....
"How flexible are you" asked the instructor
I said "I can't do Tuesdays"
Men need to stop staring and yelling at me when I wear yoga pants. I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it because it's comfortable. Who cares of you can see my balls?
What did the son reply when his mother asked if he needed a drive to his yoga class? "Nah, ma, stay"
I asked my friend if she wanted to do yoga in the park? "In this heat?" She said, "Namaste at home"
Rules for wearing animal print yoga pants:
1. Weigh less than the animals they represent
Doing the splits I told my yoga instructor I wanted to be able to do the splits. She asked how flexible I was. I told her I couldn't come on Tuesdays.
My yoga teacher said that downward dog will take one to a place of spiritual revelation. That's a big stretch.
I asked my yoga teacher if he was going to go home from the studio right after class, He said: Namaste.
My girlfriend wanted me to go to yoga with her the other day. I waved her off and said "Nah 'ma stay."
My dad said if he practiced yoga long enough he could pick up a pencil with his toes. He then proudly mentioned he would be writing footnotes.
An estimated 70% of women who wear yoga pants don’t do yoga. An estimated 100% of straight men do not care.
Yoga class instructor: Welcome. Uhh why are you carrying a lightsaber? Me: Misread the brochure I have.
A yoga joke!
What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?
"Nah I'ma stay"
I asked a yoga teacher if she could teach me to do the split....
she said “ how flexible are you ?”
I said “I can’t do Tuesdays and Thursdays”
They say the inventor of yoga pants had comfort in mind But I like to think he had posterior motives.
I've invented a new yoga position, called "the taco". **To do it, you roll over onto the remote for your adjustable bed while you're asleep.**
I’m writing a book about an Australian Shepherd dog who, against all odds, opened up his own yoga studio. The title: Downward Underdog.
My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercise.. I just dodge a bullet
During a hot and sweaty yoga session, a femur and a humerus got real close. What did the humerus say to the femur? “Quite the trochanter”.
I'm trying to make a joke about yoga
It's not really working out
Sorry, that was kind of a stretch
What did the yoga instructor say when they decided to not actually get divorced after all? Nah’immastay together!
What did the yoga instructor say when the blackjack dealer asked him if he wanted another card? Namaste
What did the yoga teacher told the gal that asked her if she'd like to grab a drink after class? Nah, must stay.
A man walks into a yoga class.... And is really disruptive to the whole class so the teacher asks him to leave. The man outs his hands together and says namaste.
Yoga as we know it today is a modern invention and anyone who disagrees is ... ...merely posturing.
My girlfriend caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises. I just dodged a bullet.
What did the hillbilly yoga instructor say his mother when she was about to leave? Nah ma, stay!
I caught a 450 lb catfish the other day That’s gotta be a record! She was squeezed into yoga pants at the end of the bar.
What’s the similarity between a yoga instructor, a plant, and a tank? They all made it into the rosters of crossover fighting games.
My friend and I went to a yoga class for the first time. Half way through the class, he turns to me and says "This is lame. Do you want to leave?" I replied, "Namaste."
Job interview for yoga instructor
Guy: so what are the hours like here?
Yoga instructor: ohhh were veryyyy flexible
The yoga teacher stretches her legs to the ceiling and suddenly farts
A student asks: "what position is that supposed to be?"
The teacher answers: "scented candle"
The new trend
psychologist: what is your problem?
patient: i work as a yoga trainer at retirement homes.
parient: the new trend is naked yoga.
psychologist: you are the unluckyest person to ever exist.
I phoned up my local yoga centre to book a lesson. They said, “how flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Thursdays.”
To the guy at the gym wearing yoga pants - that takes some huge balls. No, really. I saw them.
To all the dudes wearing yoga pants in the gym - that takes some serious balls. No, really. I saw them.
Went to my yoga class today and my instructor turned up blind drunk. Put me in a really awkward position.
My girlfriend wants to open a yoga studio, even though she currently cannot afford it. I told her it's a bit of a stretch.
Why do obese women like to wear yoga leggings? They don't. Other people might call it sweatpants.