Yoga Jokes

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Funniest Yoga Jokes

Funny Yoga Jokes
Score: 710

A girl asked me if I wanted to join her in yoga at 6 am I told her, "namaste in bed".

Score: 274

Three things that never lie..... Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants

Score: 134

I just signed up for a yoga class.... "How flexible are you" asked the instructor

I said "I can't do Tuesdays"

Score: 58

I didn't believe my friend who told me yoga would fix my posture I now stand corrected

Score: 43

What did the son reply when his mother asked if he needed a drive to his yoga class? "Nah, ma, stay"

Score: 32

What did the hillbilly yoga instructor say to his mom who was about to leave? Naw ma, stay!

Score: 30

I asked my friend if she wanted to do yoga in the park? "In this heat?" She said, "Namaste at home"

Score: 29

Why do deaf guys like women in yoga pants? They can read lips

Score: 24

Rules for wearing animal print yoga pants: 1. Weigh less than the animals they represent

2.

3.

Score: 23

Doing the splits I told my yoga instructor I wanted to be able to do the splits. She asked how flexible I was. I told her I couldn't come on Tuesdays.

Score: 23

Why do deaf guys love chicks in yoga pants? Cos they can read their lips.

Score: 21

I asked my yoga teacher if he was going to go home from the studio right after class, He said: Namaste.

Score: 21

A yoga teacher was murdered... ...they're saying it was premeditated.

Score: 19

We play GTA because it let's us do things we wouldn't even think about doing in real life... Like golf, tennis and yoga.

Score: 18

What do you call an electrical component that is anti-yoga An ohm resistor

Score: 18

My doctor suggested yoga to reduce stress. I told her that sounded like a stretch.

Score: 17

My girlfriend wanted me to go to yoga with her the other day. I waved her off and said "Nah 'ma stay."

Score: 16

What do you call a Filipino yoga instructor? A Manila Folder.

Score: 16

What did the yoga instructor tell his landlord when he tried to evict him? Namaste

Score: 16

What do you call a Turtle that does yoga? A Contortoise...

Score: 16

My dad said if he practiced yoga long enough he could pick up a pencil with his toes. He then proudly mentioned he would be writing footnotes.

Score: 15

What do you call an injury you get at yoga class? Yoghurt.

Score: 15

This morning my wife asked me if I would like to yoga class with her... Namaste in bed.

Score: 15

My wife claims to be very good at yoga... but I think she's just a poser.

Score: 13

I applied for a job as a yoga teacher "Are you flexible?"

"Well I can't do tuesdays."

Score: 13

An estimated 70% of women who wear yoga pants don’t do yoga. An estimated 100% of straight men do not care.

Score: 12

My yoga instructor was really drunk yesterday... ...which put me in an awkward position.

Score: 12

A yoga joke! What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?

"Nah I'ma stay"

Score: 11

Found a news article saying that millions of people die annually from doing yoga. I think that's a stretch.

Score: 11

My girlfriend asked me if I wanted to go do yoga with her. I said, "Namaste right here."

Score: 11

How does a yoga instructor turn down an invite? Namaste home tonight.

Score: 9

What is a pirate's favourite yoga pose? The plank!

Score: 8

What did the yoga instructor say when asked if she wanted to leave the party? Namaste

Score: 7

I think my yoga instructor was drunk today He put me in a very awkward position

Score: 6

A yoga instructor was at a party. Her friend said "come on let's leave"

The yoga instructor replied "Na I'ma stay"

Score: 5

Did you hear about the yoga instructor who kill his instructor? It was pre-meditated.

Score: 4

What did the Hindu cow say to the yoga class? OoM

Score: 3

Nothing against fat chicks having high self-esteem Just not yoga pants high

Score: 2

What’s the similarity between a yoga instructor, a plant, and a tank? They all made it into the rosters of crossover fighting games.

Score: 2

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New Yoga Jokes

During a hot and sweaty yoga session, a femur and a humerus got real close. What did the humerus say to the femur? “Quite the trochanter”.

Score: 1

I'm trying to make a joke about yoga It's not really working out
Sorry, that was kind of a stretch

Score: 0

What did the yoga instructor say when they decided to not actually get divorced after all? Nah’immastay together!

Score: 0

My girlfriend caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises. I just dodged a bullet.

Score: 2

What did the hillbilly yoga instructor say his mother when she was about to leave? Nah ma, stay!

Score: 2

I was put in an awkward position today my yoga instructor was drunk

Score: 0

I was put in an awkward position today Apparently my yoga instructor was really drunk

Score: 1

What did the lumberjack say on his way out of yoga class? LIIIIIIIIIIMBERR!

Score: 1

What do you call a very flexible grizzly bear? Yoga Bear.

Score: 1

What did the couch surfing, yoga junkie say when his friend asked him to leave? Namaste.

Score: 2

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