A girl asked me if I wanted to join her in yoga at 6 am I told her, "namaste in bed".
Three things that never lie..... Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants
I just signed up for a yoga class....
"How flexible are you" asked the instructor
I said "I can't do Tuesdays"
I didn't believe my friend who told me yoga would fix my posture I now stand corrected
What did the son reply when his mother asked if he needed a drive to his yoga class? "Nah, ma, stay"
What did the hillbilly yoga instructor say to his mom who was about to leave? Naw ma, stay!
I asked my friend if she wanted to do yoga in the park? "In this heat?" She said, "Namaste at home"
Why do deaf guys like women in yoga pants? They can read lips
Rules for wearing animal print yoga pants:
1. Weigh less than the animals they represent
Doing the splits I told my yoga instructor I wanted to be able to do the splits. She asked how flexible I was. I told her I couldn't come on Tuesdays.
Why do deaf guys love chicks in yoga pants? Cos they can read their lips.
I asked my yoga teacher if he was going to go home from the studio right after class, He said: Namaste.
A yoga teacher was murdered... ...they're saying it was premeditated.
We play GTA because it let's us do things we wouldn't even think about doing in real life... Like golf, tennis and yoga.
What do you call an electrical component that is anti-yoga An ohm resistor
My doctor suggested yoga to reduce stress. I told her that sounded like a stretch.
My girlfriend wanted me to go to yoga with her the other day. I waved her off and said "Nah 'ma stay."
What do you call a Filipino yoga instructor? A Manila Folder.
What did the yoga instructor tell his landlord when he tried to evict him? Namaste
What do you call a Turtle that does yoga? A Contortoise...
My dad said if he practiced yoga long enough he could pick up a pencil with his toes. He then proudly mentioned he would be writing footnotes.
What do you call an injury you get at yoga class? Yoghurt.
This morning my wife asked me if I would like to yoga class with her... Namaste in bed.
My wife claims to be very good at yoga... but I think she's just a poser.
I applied for a job as a yoga teacher
"Are you flexible?"
"Well I can't do tuesdays."
An estimated 70% of women who wear yoga pants don’t do yoga. An estimated 100% of straight men do not care.
My yoga instructor was really drunk yesterday... ...which put me in an awkward position.
A yoga joke!
What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?
"Nah I'ma stay"
Found a news article saying that millions of people die annually from doing yoga. I think that's a stretch.
What did the yoga instructor say when asked if she wanted to leave the party? Namaste
A yoga instructor killed a student before class started He's being charged with pre-meditation murder.
What did the yoga instructor say to her landlord when he tried to kick her out? Namaste.
There's only three things that tell the truth in the world Kids, Alcoholics and yoga pants.
A yoga instructor was at a party.
Her friend said "come on let's leave"
The yoga instructor replied "Na I'ma stay"
I asked a millennial hipster yoga teacher to leave the room... He said: "Nah a ma stay."
What did the yoga student say to her yoga teacher when he told her to leave? She said nah-ima-stay
My wife asked me, "Why don't you ever come to yoga class with me??"... "That's kind of a stretch for me"
What did the Hindu cow say to the yoga class? OoM
Nothing against fat chicks having high self-esteem Just not yoga pants high
What did the yoga instructor say when they decided to not actually get divorced after all? Nah’immastay together!
My girlfriend caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises. I just dodged a bullet.
What’s the similarity between a yoga instructor, a plant, and a tank? They all made it into the rosters of crossover fighting games.
I was put in an awkward position today my yoga instructor was drunk
I was put in an awkward position today Apparently my yoga instructor was really drunk
What did the lumberjack say on his way out of yoga class? LIIIIIIIIIIMBERR!
I was thinking of doing yoga
So I rang the local leisure centre and they asked me "are you flexible?"
I said "yes I can do anytime except for Tuesday's"
What do deaf-mute people like about yoga pants? They make lip-reading easier.
What did the yogi say when his student asked him what he wanted for world yoga day? I wish no gifts, only presence
After yoga class the instructor asked everyone to leave... But I said "namaste"
Asked a yoga instructor to teach me how to do the splits, he asked me how flexible I was. "I can't make Tuesdays."
My girlfriend tried to drag me to yoga with her... I said, "namaste here".