Hilarious Brain Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Brain Jokes

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At first, my girlfriend didn't want to get a brain transplant then I changed her mind

Score: 2206

Trump has two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right.
In the right side, there's nothing left.

Score: 1315

I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons. I think I have telekinieces.

Score: 1199

Buzzfeed employee is diagnosed with stage 2 brain cancer Doctor: Number 4 will blow your mind.

Score: 1198

A man was on a plane... A man was on a plane when a stewardess approached him and said "Would you like some headphones?" To which the man replied "Yes I would, but how did you know my name was Phones?"

*Edit: unintentional brain trick.

Score: 678

I didn't plan on getting a brain transplant... But then I changed my mind.

Score: 548

[Blonde] What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant.

Score: 336

So my wife said to me, "I swear, it's like all men share one brain" I wanted to think of a clever comeback, but it wasn't my turn to use the brain

Score: 236

The brain The brain is a amazing organ it works 24 hours a day 365 days a year from the day you are born until you see your first woman naked.

Score: 218

A dad joke "Dad I'm hungry."

"Hi hungry, I'm dead."

"Haha, you mean dad."

"No. I have inoperable brain cancer."

"...wha-"

"I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you."

Score: 211

I have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

Score: 203

I went to the doctors wanting a brain transplant They changed my mind

Score: 153

I have qualities of both Albert Einstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger Body of Einstein, brain of Schwarzenegger

Score: 150

What soft and wrinkly but gets sharper when you use it? Your brain! (This joke brought to you by one of my 2nd grade students. I told him it was so good I was going to put it on the internet.)

Score: 136

I wasn't going to get a brain transplant... ...But then I changed my mind

Score: 119

Your brain has two sides: left and right. Your left brain has nothing right.
Your right brain has nothing left.

Score: 116

The human brain is amazing It functions 24 hours a day, everyday since we were born and only stops when taking an exam.

Score: 107

I thought about getting a brain transplant But then i changed my mind

Score: 107

I used to think the brain was the most important organ... Then I thought, look what's telling me that

Score: 106

Hey girl are u a brain tumor? Cuz i cant get u outta my head and its killing me

Score: 96

Fred is a hippo who goes to a University where everyone is a hippo One day, someone asked Fred where to find the medical building. Fred replied, "Its over there and to the left. I do brain research in there."

Fred is an expert on the hippocampus.

Score: 81

I used to think the brain was the most important organ...... Then I thought look who's telling me that.. 🙄

Score: 78

What do you get when you cross a brain tumor with a german sausage? The wurst headache

Score: 74

Most Fascinating Part of the Body I used to think the brain was the most fascinating part of the body but then i realized "pssssh, look what's telling me that"

Score: 65

As a child I was always taught there is a brain in my skull. Now I can't get it out of my head.

Score: 65

I always thought the brain was the most important organ... ... then I realized what organ was telling me that.

Score: 63

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His hand slipped.

Score: 55

My teacher told a joke today in class, and I thought I would share it here He said, "When brain transplants are possible, I would get a brain of a racist. You know why? Because they have never been used before".

Score: 55

Why does keeping tropical fish in your home have a calming effect on the brain? Because of the indoor fins.

Score: 52

I didn`t actually want to get a brain transplant but... ... I changed my mind

Score: 49

Originally, I was against getting a brain transplant Then I changed my mind.

Score: 33

The brain is the most important organ in the body... But look who's telling me that

Score: 33

Did you hear about the brain implant that can fix stupid? It's called a bullet.

Score: 22

In the wake of Trump meeting the "President of Virgin Islands", it remind me the two sides of Trump's brain: "left" and "right"... In the left side, there's nothing right.

In the right side, there's nothing left.

Score: 16

Brain surgeons have started applying blush to the frontal lobe... The procedure is for anyone who needs to makeup their mind.

Score: 14

I was going to get a brain transplant In the end, I changed my mind.

Score: 12

Initially I didn't want to get a brain transplant But I changed my mind.

Score: 11

A patient and a doctor are in a room Patient: I think I have a brain tumor

Doctor: I'm sure it's all in your head

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What's the difference between a ginger and a vegetable? One's brain dead and the other is good for you

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New Brain Jokes

I’ll be your CAM girl... I’ll store your C at night and release it in the morning

(Sorry for this terrible terrible science joke that no one’s gonna understand lol. But at least it isn’t a repost, 100% from my brain while studying ecology)

Score: 3

I've always found lobotomists to be some of the most curious, engaged conversationalists They jump at any opportunity to pick your brain.

Score: 3

Why did the brain cell refuse to cross the road? It was nervous.

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Mischievous medical student. A notoriously mischievous student in medical college was up to his usual tricks. This time he went to his professor.

Student: 'How long can a man survive without a brain, sir? '
Professor: 'I don't know really'.... 'How old are you? '

Score: 6

A girl once told me it always seems like men share one brain. I couldn’t think of a good comeback since it wasn’t my turn to use the brain.

Score: 5

What do you call a brain surgeon that got a C average in college? A brain surgeon. I hope your surgery goes well!

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People say the brain is a computer, but if it is... Why can't it run Skyrim?

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They're making a new Beauty and the Beast where the princess is brain damaged and everyone picks her up to do curls. She is a dumb Belle

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I saw a Zombie coming to me, I thought he was going to eat my brain.. But he just kept walking...

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I've been trying to think of people with a brain fetish... ...but no one comes to mind

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We only use 10% of our brain at any given time. Imagine what we could do if we used 100%! We only use 10% of our keyboard at any given time. Imagine what we could do if we -m0c918urpaweo8r nxym pqfkw8ef}cqj9p34f8m[nybh4nxh|f9f80923-r12c=r32u1m.

Score: 5

Where does a hippopotamus live if he wants to study brain surgery in college? A hippo-campus

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Donated my brain to a stranger in the hospital last week. Good luck. My thoughts are with you.

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I read that the nicotine in cigarettes increases GABA in the brain, making you more intelligent. Maybe one day I'll be smart enough to not smoke.

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Why is there no clear distinction concerning the morality of altering one's personality through brain surgery? Because, it's a bit of a grey matter!

Score: 7

I was thinking of getting a brain transplant I changed my mind

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We had a sick gathering last night. The Roof was on fire! I'm sad to say that grandma's brain tumor isnt getting better and who knew chocolate chip cookies could flare up like that...

Score: 2

What is the difference between a Dentist and Brain Surgeon? A slip of the knife.

Score: 10

Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree. Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.
Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.
Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?

Score: 10

Brain fade Friend 1: "I just threw the chocolate that I had planned on eating, in the trash can. Sometimes I think I am retarded"

Friend 2: "Oh! I do that as well"

Friend 1: "Put your chocolate in the trash can?"

Friend 2: "No. Think you are retarded"

Score: 7

NBC Every time I see or hear anything related to the NBC news network, my brain automatically goes: Nuclear, Biological, Chemical.

Score: 2

The brain named itself When you think about it.

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What do you call a brain hormone whose parents died? An endorphan.

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What part of your brain loves plants the most? The ceTREEbral cortex.

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what's wrong with my brain OMG, I have finally discovered what's wrong with my brain:
on the left side,
there is nothing right,
and on the right side,
there is nothing left.

Score: 4

I thought i had a brain aneurysm. My neurologist told me it was all in my head.

Score: 2

Two Puns Man, I was going to eat a clock, but then I thought, that's to time consuming.

Man, I was ganna get a brain transplant, but I changed my mind.

You guys might aswell call me re"pun"sul. I'm way to punny.

(Sorry if I make you cringe)

Score: 3

is my brain in your mouth? because... you just blew my mind.

Score: 2

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? By giving it severe permanent brain damage.

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Brain There is nothing left in your right brain and there is nothing right in your left brain.

Score: 9

Bloom County I used to read Bloom County (a comic strip).

Remember when they put Donald Trump's brain in Bill the Cat?

Who's laughing now.

Score: 4

What compound is found in a lazy person's brain? Sodium Procrastinate

Score: 8

As the blood from your brain rushes down into your erection Everything in the middle gets stuck between a rock and a hard place

Score: 8

A husband says to his wife, "You know, our son got his brain from me." The wife replies, "I think he did. I still got mine with me!"

Score: 4

TIL that Bees are highly cooperative, social, productive and even have their own effective healthcare. They also have a brain the size of a sesame seed. I also learned that us humans have a very developed sense of language.

Covfefe.

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What do you call Britney Spears with a brain? Pregnant.

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Dogs operating XRays cannot detect brain tumours. But CAT scan!

Score: 7

Did you know: The human brain starts working the moment you're born and never stops until.. your wife asks where you were last night!

Score: 2

Why is it better to exercise in the morning? You can finish the workout before your brain realizes what it's doing.

Score: 9

look like Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.

Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.

Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.

Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?

Score: 2

What do Trump and JFK have in common? No brain.

Score: 3

I was contemplating engineering a newer, more advanced clone of my brain... But then I realized I was getting ahead of myself.

Score: 5

My cousin said he has brain cancer... I guess you can say it's all in his head

Score: 4

I am a non-unionized brain surgeon... AMA

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My doctor told me to get a brain transplant But then I changed my mind

Score: 1

Donald Trump's brain The left side has nothing right
the right side has nothing left

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I always thought that the brain was the most important organ Now that I think about it, what's telling me that?

Score: 4

I wanted to get a brain transplant... But I changed my mind.

Score: 6

A dyslexic boy walks into a toy store and asks for a "satr wars atcion figuer"... The manager tells him that dyslexia does not cause you to talk in misspelled words and took the boy to hospital where he was diagnosed with a brain tumour.

Score: 4

An early prediction of George Michael's cause of death I'm going with either a boom boom of the heart, or a jitterbug in the brain.

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I don't think I should get a brain transplant... But in the end I changed my mind.

Score: 3

My friend says he has the biggest brain in the world. I think it's all in his head.

Score: 1

Mike Pence, Rudy Giuliani, and Donald Trump landed in the Land of Oz... Mike Pence: I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart!

Rudy Giuliani: I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain!

Donald Trump: (looking around the area) Where's Dorothy?

Score: 1

What do you call a grandma that know martial arts? A grandmartial artist.

I apologise for any lost brain cells.

Score: 2

I looked into my girlfriend's eyes and said, "If love is just an endorphin-based chemical reaction in the brain then I don't wanna be right," and she said, "There's no such thing... ...as being 'right'."

Score: 1

Different foods were talking to each other, Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.

Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.

Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.

Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?

Score: 1

I can't trust my heart or my brain to tell me who the next President will be But I can trust my Vegas bookie and will be talking to him in October

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Every man has two heads... One holds the brain, and the other makes all the decisions.

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Empty brain A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet. Why is this?

B: It's because your feet aren't empty.

Score: 5

What is a brain dead couples' favorite pizza? Veggie lovers

Score: 2