Brain Jokes

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Funniest Brain Jokes

Funny Brain Jokes
Score: 6419

At first, my girlfriend didn't want to get a brain transplant then I changed her mind

Score: 2206

Trump has two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right.
In the right side, there's nothing left.

Score: 1315

I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons. I think I have telekinieces.

Score: 1199

Buzzfeed employee is diagnosed with stage 2 brain cancer Doctor: Number 4 will blow your mind.

Score: 1198

A man was on a plane... A man was on a plane when a stewardess approached him and said "Would you like some headphones?" To which the man replied "Yes I would, but how did you know my name was Phones?"

*Edit: unintentional brain trick.

Score: 678

I didn't plan on getting a brain transplant... But then I changed my mind.

Score: 548

[Blonde] What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant.

Score: 336

So my wife said to me, "I swear, it's like all men share one brain" I wanted to think of a clever comeback, but it wasn't my turn to use the brain

Score: 236

The brain The brain is a amazing organ it works 24 hours a day 365 days a year from the day you are born until you see your first woman naked.

Score: 218

A dad joke "Dad I'm hungry."

"Hi hungry, I'm dead."

"Haha, you mean dad."

"No. I have inoperable brain cancer."

"...wha-"

"I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you."

Score: 211

I have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

Score: 203

I went to the doctors wanting a brain transplant They changed my mind

Score: 153

I have qualities of both Albert Einstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger Body of Einstein, brain of Schwarzenegger

Score: 150

What soft and wrinkly but gets sharper when you use it? Your brain! (This joke brought to you by one of my 2nd grade students. I told him it was so good I was going to put it on the internet.)

Score: 136

I wasn't going to get a brain transplant... ...But then I changed my mind

Score: 119

Your brain has two sides: left and right. Your left brain has nothing right.
Your right brain has nothing left.

Score: 116

The human brain is amazing It functions 24 hours a day, everyday since we were born and only stops when taking an exam.

Score: 107

I thought about getting a brain transplant But then i changed my mind

Score: 107

I used to think the brain was the most important organ... Then I thought, look what's telling me that

Score: 106

Hey girl are u a brain tumor? Cuz i cant get u outta my head and its killing me

Score: 96

Fred is a hippo who goes to a University where everyone is a hippo One day, someone asked Fred where to find the medical building. Fred replied, "Its over there and to the left. I do brain research in there."

Fred is an expert on the hippocampus.

Score: 81

I used to think the brain was the most important organ...... Then I thought look who's telling me that.. 🙄

Score: 78

What do you get when you cross a brain tumor with a german sausage? The wurst headache

Score: 74

As a child I was always taught there is a brain in my skull. Now I can't get it out of my head.

Score: 65

Most Fascinating Part of the Body I used to think the brain was the most fascinating part of the body but then i realized "pssssh, look what's telling me that"

Score: 65

I always thought the brain was the most important organ... ... then I realized what organ was telling me that.

Score: 63

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His hand slipped.

Score: 55

My teacher told a joke today in class, and I thought I would share it here He said, "When brain transplants are possible, I would get a brain of a racist. You know why? Because they have never been used before".

Score: 55

Why does keeping tropical fish in your home have a calming effect on the brain? Because of the indoor fins.

Score: 52

Brain surgeons have started applying blush to the frontal lobe... The procedure is for anyone who needs to makeup their mind.

Score: 14

Studies show that keeping tropical fish at home has a calming effect on your brain. It’s because of all the indoor fins.

Score: 11

A patient and a doctor are in a room Patient: I think I have a brain tumor

Doctor: I'm sure it's all in your head

Score: 10

Why did the brain cell refuse to cross the road? It was nervous.

Score: 6

A girl once told me it always seems like men share one brain. I couldn’t think of a good comeback since it wasn’t my turn to use the brain.

Score: 5

What do you call a brain surgeon that got a C average in college? A brain surgeon. I hope your surgery goes well!

Score: 4

What do Trump and JFK have in common? No brain.

Score: 3

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.

Score: 3

I saw a Zombie coming to me, I thought he was going to eat my brain.. But he just kept walking...

Score: 2

How would you describe a happy ending for your brain? Mind blowing!

Score: 2

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New Brain Jokes

Why shouldn’t you say “knock knock” and Knock on bald man’s head? Because bald man’s brain exit head to ask “who is there?”

Bald man die without brain

Score: 0

Four different doctors have told me the diabetes is in my head I didn't know you could get brain diabetes.

Score: 1

What’s the difference between North Korea and the United States? *Our* brain-dead leaders are *elected*!

Score: 0

A Boltzmann brain learns it has 1 nanosecond to live It goes on to live a fulfilling life and dies at the age of 100.

Score: 0

What has two heads and one brain? A man.

Score: 0

Fricking neuroscience up is the most insulting Your brain cannot even understand its own structures

Score: 0

So a guy is in Gym class, he says he want's to go to Hogwarts. So he runs and jumps right into a wall yelling BRAIN DAMAGE!!!

He falls with this nose broken when a girl walks next to him and says the all is plaster.

Score: 0

Are sexist jokes not funny? Or do women just not have the brain power to understand them?

Score: 1

When is the worst time to scare a brain surgen. Ah dohno, wen?

Score: 0

Brain surgeons have started applying blush to the frontal lobe... It's for anyone who needs to makeup their mind.

Score: 0

hope it won’t happen on SAT The brain is amazing, works 24 hours a day and only stops when... we are taking a test.

Score: 1

Human Brain Mimicing spiNNaker supercomputer is brought online, and is asked if it is human, it responds: “INSTRUCTIONS UNCLEAR CAT5 CABLE STUCK IN CEILING FAN.”

Score: 0

What's the positive thing about being a blonde? You can't get a brain tumor.

Score: 1

Mike Pence, Rudy Giuliani, and Donald Trump landed in the Land of Oz... Mike Pence: I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart!

Rudy Giuliani: I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain!

Donald Trump: (looking around the area) Where's Dorothy?

Score: 1

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