Brain Jokes

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Funniest Brain Jokes

Funny Brain Jokes
Score: 6419

At first, my girlfriend didn't want to get a brain transplant then I changed her mind

Score: 2206

Trump has two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right.
In the right side, there's nothing left.

Score: 1315

I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons. I think I have telekinieces.

Score: 1199

Buzzfeed employee is diagnosed with stage 2 brain cancer Doctor: Number 4 will blow your mind.

Score: 1198

A man was on a plane... A man was on a plane when a stewardess approached him and said "Would you like some headphones?" To which the man replied "Yes I would, but how did you know my name was Phones?"

*Edit: unintentional brain trick.

Score: 678

I didn't plan on getting a brain transplant... But then I changed my mind.

Score: 548

[Blonde] What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant.

Score: 336

So my wife said to me, "I swear, it's like all men share one brain" I wanted to think of a clever comeback, but it wasn't my turn to use the brain

Score: 236

The brain The brain is a amazing organ it works 24 hours a day 365 days a year from the day you are born until you see your first woman naked.

Score: 218

A dad joke "Dad I'm hungry."

"Hi hungry, I'm dead."

"Haha, you mean dad."

"No. I have inoperable brain cancer."

"...wha-"

"I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you."

Score: 211

I have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

Score: 203

I went to the doctors wanting a brain transplant They changed my mind

Score: 153

I have qualities of both Albert Einstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger Body of Einstein, brain of Schwarzenegger

Score: 150

What soft and wrinkly but gets sharper when you use it? Your brain! (This joke brought to you by one of my 2nd grade students. I told him it was so good I was going to put it on the internet.)

Score: 136

I wasn't going to get a brain transplant... ...But then I changed my mind

Score: 119

Your brain has two sides: left and right. Your left brain has nothing right.
Your right brain has nothing left.

Score: 116

The human brain is amazing It functions 24 hours a day, everyday since we were born and only stops when taking an exam.

Score: 107

I thought about getting a brain transplant But then i changed my mind

Score: 107

I used to think the brain was the most important organ... Then I thought, look what's telling me that

Score: 106

Hey girl are u a brain tumor? Cuz i cant get u outta my head and its killing me

Score: 96

Fred is a hippo who goes to a University where everyone is a hippo One day, someone asked Fred where to find the medical building. Fred replied, "Its over there and to the left. I do brain research in there."

Fred is an expert on the hippocampus.

Score: 81

I used to think the brain was the most important organ...... Then I thought look who's telling me that.. 🙄

Score: 78

What do you get when you cross a brain tumor with a german sausage? The wurst headache

Score: 74

As a child I was always taught there is a brain in my skull. Now I can't get it out of my head.

Score: 65

Most Fascinating Part of the Body I used to think the brain was the most fascinating part of the body but then i realized "pssssh, look what's telling me that"

Score: 65

I always thought the brain was the most important organ... ... then I realized what organ was telling me that.

Score: 63

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His hand slipped.

Score: 55

My teacher told a joke today in class, and I thought I would share it here He said, "When brain transplants are possible, I would get a brain of a racist. You know why? Because they have never been used before".

Score: 55

Why does keeping tropical fish in your home have a calming effect on the brain? Because of the indoor fins.

Score: 52

Brain surgeons have started applying blush to the frontal lobe... The procedure is for anyone who needs to makeup their mind.

Score: 14

A patient and a doctor are in a room Patient: I think I have a brain tumor

Doctor: I'm sure it's all in your head

Score: 10

Why did the brain cell refuse to cross the road? It was nervous.

Score: 6

Mischievous medical student. A notoriously mischievous student in medical college was up to his usual tricks. This time he went to his professor.

Student: 'How long can a man survive without a brain, sir? '
Professor: 'I don't know really'.... 'How old are you? '

Score: 6

A girl once told me it always seems like men share one brain. I couldn’t think of a good comeback since it wasn’t my turn to use the brain.

Score: 5

What do you call a brain surgeon that got a C average in college? A brain surgeon. I hope your surgery goes well!

Score: 4

What do Trump and JFK have in common? No brain.

Score: 3

I can't trust my heart or my brain to tell me who the next President will be But I can trust my Vegas bookie and will be talking to him in October

Score: 3

I saw a Zombie coming to me, I thought he was going to eat my brain.. But he just kept walking...

Score: 2

What is a brain dead couples' favorite pizza? Veggie lovers

Score: 2

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New Brain Jokes

Four different doctors have told me the diabetes is in my head I didn't know you could get brain diabetes.

Score: 1

What’s the difference between North Korea and the United States? *Our* brain-dead leaders are *elected*!

Score: 0

A Boltzmann brain learns it has 1 nanosecond to live It goes on to live a fulfilling life and dies at the age of 100.

Score: 0

What has two heads and one brain? A man.

Score: 0

Fricking neuroscience up is the most insulting Your brain cannot even understand its own structures

Score: 0

So a guy is in Gym class, he says he want's to go to Hogwarts. So he runs and jumps right into a wall yelling BRAIN DAMAGE!!!

He falls with this nose broken when a girl walks next to him and says the all is plaster.

Score: 0

Brain surgeons have started applying blush to the frontal lobe... It's for anyone who needs to makeup their mind.

Score: 0

hope it won’t happen on SAT The brain is amazing, works 24 hours a day and only stops when... we are taking a test.

Score: 1

Human Brain Mimicing spiNNaker supercomputer is brought online, and is asked if it is human, it responds: “INSTRUCTIONS UNCLEAR CAT5 CABLE STUCK IN CEILING FAN.”

Score: 0

What's the positive thing about being a blonde? You can't get a brain tumor.

Score: 1

Mike Pence, Rudy Giuliani, and Donald Trump landed in the Land of Oz... Mike Pence: I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart!

Rudy Giuliani: I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain!

Donald Trump: (looking around the area) Where's Dorothy?

Score: 1

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