A joke my 8-year old made up: What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken.
Joke from my daughter
Her: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Her: To get to the ugly guy's house.
Her: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Her: It's the chicken!
They say you are what you eat... today I bought some ready to eat chicken and sure enough I was ready to eat chicken.
What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.
How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto In a bucket
A man goes to a Halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg. The answer is the chicken.
Why do chicken coops have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors, they would be chicken sedans.
Two blondes meet at a busy chicken market
A: If I can guess how many chickens you have in that bag, can I have one?
B: You can have both
What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights? A chicken
What do you call a Japanese chicken that likes bondage? Hen-tie
Teacher: "Kids, what does the fluffy chicken give you?"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pink pig give you?"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Where was the first chicken fried? In Greece.
My four favorite things My four favorite things are chicken pot pie and omitting commas.
I have a chicken proof lawn… It's impeccable…
I think the Rainforest Cafe takes the whole rainforest theme too far. This one time I was sitting there eating my chicken tenders and they bulldozed 40% of the restaurant.
I went out for Chinese last night, I told the waiter that the chicken was rubbery... He thanked me.
I saw a chicken staring angrily at the road I wondered, "Why did the road cross the chicken?"
When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
A: To get to the same side!
I made a chicken salad this morning. Stupid thing didn't even eat it.
I’m on a plane and the lunch choices are white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I’m seated in the last row. I’m hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.
I just grilled a chicken for 8 hours. And it still didn't tell me why it crossed the road.
Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows. *But the road will have his vengeance.*
Chicken and an egg A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette. The egg, with a dissatisfied look on it's face, rolls over and remarks, "Well, I guess we answered that question."
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the ref was blowing fouls.
Why did the chicken get an ouija board? To contact those who had crossed over to the other side.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a sign at the front of a building that said "chicken strips for $2"
I lost my job as a waiter when I served one of the customers his food. On the downside, I got chicken all over my tennis racket.
Why did the chicken kill herself? To get to the other side.
Which side of the chicken has more feathers? The outside
Why did the black man cross the road? To eat the chicken
A turkey was about to cross the road... when a chicken appeared and said "dont do that that, you will never hear the end of it"
Ordered 4 drinks at McDonald's..... ....so they wouldn't think all 50 chicken nuggets were for me.
From my 9 year old niece...”What is it called when a chicken is staring at a salad?” Chicken sees a salad.
Just made a chicken salad... Not even sure if chicken's like salad, but I guess we're about to find out
Chicken walks into a bar Bartender says: "Wrong joke, yours is across the road?"
A priest, a rabbi, and a chicken walk into a bar.
The bartender says "Nope! We don't do jokes here, get out!"
And the chicken says, "Come on guys, I know a place across the street."
Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because when he asked the chicken "Who's the best composer" the chicken said "Bach, Bach, Bach"
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? [This joke isn't available for EU users]
So he could watch Jeopardy. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Reporter to the world’s first trillionaire: “Sir, what are you going to do with all that money?”. “I can buy a chicken and some bread now!”, says Abou, while walking out of his bank in Zimbabwe
A chicken can jump higher than Empire state building... It's true because buildings can't jump.
The waiter said to me “I just want to let you know that kids eat for free.” I said “Good! I’ll take a water and some chicken tenders, and my daughter will have a steak and a kids Bud Light.”
Why didn't the chicken go down the slide? He de-slided not to!!!!! Ha ha.... I have no friends
Why did the vulture cross the road? Because the chicken didn't make it.
A guy walks into his home with a chicken under his arm...
Husband: "here's the cow I've been sleeping with"
Wife: "that's not a cow that's a chicken"
Husband: "I wasn't talking to you"
Why did the rooster go to KFC? He wanted to see a chicken strip
I was making chicken noises in class Got a detention for using fowl language
Why did the chicken cross the road? To find people who care about its cake day.
A chicken pie in Jamaica costs €2.00 A chicken pie in Trinidad costs €2.15 A chicken pie in St Kitts costs €2.40 These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
A chicken walks in a bar and orders a drink The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food."
There was a bad storm that broke the chicken coop causing a farmer to lose a few chickens.
After the storm he asked his farm hand how many chickens were left.
“16 chickens, sir.”
“Alright, round them up, please.”
“20 chickens, sir.”
Started a chicken dating website. It's not my full time job, just doing it to make hens meet.
I put my USDA inspected chicken strip in my wallet. Now my legal tender is safe.
I have a chicken proof lawn... It's impeccable.
There's a strange new trend at work, people are writing names on the food in the company fridge Today I had a chicken sandwich named Kevin
My science teacher told us this
James Bond says to a chicken, "I'm Bond, James Bond." The chicken turns and says, "Well I'm Ken, Chic-ken."
I'll see myself out...
You can't fool me. I know chicken fried rice isn't real. You expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice?
Why did the depressed chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the Other Side
Having a girl as a friend is like having a chicken as a pet.. Sooner or later you're gonna want to eat it
Chicken pot pie. My 3 favorite things.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a pitbull? Just the pitbull.
The difference between chicken salad and egg salad... Is largely timing.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster came first.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get out of the range of the North Korean missiles
Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was from subway and could only make it half way.
I fed my chickens a chicken wing... I guess you could say they enjoyed themselves. *ba dum tss*
What animal spins around about 200 times after it dies? A rotisserie chicken
I ate a salad today and it contained both eggs and chicken I didn't know where to start.
Why did the chicken love Campbell's Soup? Because his family had stock in the company.
Why did the chicken fall in the well? He couldn't see that well.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? It heard the referee was blowing fowls
My 8 year old son wrote this...
What do you call the ghost of a chicken that haunts people in their homes?
What do you call a chicken looking at a lettuce? Chicken Caesar Salad
Why did the Chicken go to KFC? To see a chicken strip.
An African lady named Betty came into my restaurant today and asked, "Is there any chicken on the menu?" I replied, "No, Black Betty, it's ham or lamb."
Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside
Did you hear about the family of racist chicken detectives? They're called the Clue Clucks Clan
Mexican word of the day
Mexican word of the day: Chicken Wing
My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing some money.