Chicken Jokes


Funniest Chicken Jokes

A joke my 8-year old made up: What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken.

Score: 20064

Joke from my daughter Her: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: Why?

Her: To get to the ugly guy's house.


Her: Knock knock

Me: Who's there?

Her: It's the chicken!

Score: 3843
Funny Chicken Jokes
Score: 3700

They say you are what you eat... today I bought some ready to eat chicken and sure enough I was ready to eat chicken.

Score: 2533

What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats.

Score: 1984

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.

Score: 1367

How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto In a bucket

Score: 1230

A man goes to a Halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg. The answer is the chicken.

Score: 1187

Why do chicken coops have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors, they would be chicken sedans.

Score: 1120

Two blondes meet at a busy chicken market A: If I can guess how many chickens you have in that bag, can I have one?

B: You can have both

A: Three

Score: 908

What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights? A chicken

Score: 876

What do you call a Japanese chicken that likes bondage? Hen-tie

Score: 564

Teacher: "Kids, what does the fluffy chicken give you?" Students: Eggs!

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pink pig give you?"

Students: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Students: "Homework!"

Score: 490

Where was the first chicken fried? In Greece.

Score: 478

My four favorite things My four favorite things are chicken pot pie and omitting commas.

Score: 370

I have a chicken proof lawn… It's impeccable…

Score: 342

I think the Rainforest Cafe takes the whole rainforest theme too far. This one time I was sitting there eating my chicken tenders and they bulldozed 40% of the restaurant.

Score: 309

I went out for Chinese last night, I told the waiter that the chicken was rubbery... He thanked me.

Score: 289

I saw a chicken staring angrily at the road I wondered, "Why did the road cross the chicken?"

Score: 284

When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this... Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

A: To get to the same side!

Score: 252

I made a chicken salad this morning. Stupid thing didn't even eat it.

Score: 231

I’m on a plane and the lunch choices are white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I’m seated in the last row. I’m hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.

Score: 213

I just grilled a chicken for 8 hours. And it still didn't tell me why it crossed the road.

Score: 207

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows. *But the road will have his vengeance.*

Score: 189

Chicken and an egg A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette. The egg, with a dissatisfied look on it's face, rolls over and remarks, "Well, I guess we answered that question."

Score: 180

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the ref was blowing fouls.

Score: 178

Why did the chicken get an ouija board? To contact those who had crossed over to the other side.

Score: 163

Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a sign at the front of a building that said "chicken strips for $2"

Score: 139

I lost my job as a waiter when I served one of the customers his food. On the downside, I got chicken all over my tennis racket.

Score: 120

Why did the chicken kill herself? To get to the other side.

Score: 118

Which side of the chicken has more feathers? The outside

Score: 116

Why did the black man cross the road? To eat the chicken

Score: 111

A turkey was about to cross the road... when a chicken appeared and said "dont do that that, you will never hear the end of it"

Score: 111

Ordered 4 drinks at McDonald's..... they wouldn't think all 50 chicken nuggets were for me.

Score: 110

From my 9 year old niece...”What is it called when a chicken is staring at a salad?” Chicken sees a salad.

Score: 101

Just made a chicken salad... Not even sure if chicken's like salad, but I guess we're about to find out

Score: 101

Chicken walks into a bar Bartender says: "Wrong joke, yours is across the road?"

Score: 100

A priest, a rabbi, and a chicken walk into a bar. The bartender says "Nope! We don't do jokes here, get out!"
And the chicken says, "Come on guys, I know a place across the street."

Score: 98

Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because when he asked the chicken "Who's the best composer" the chicken said "Bach, Bach, Bach"

Score: 95

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? [This joke isn't available for EU users]

Score: 85

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New Chicken Jokes

So he could watch Jeopardy. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Score: 21

Reporter to the world’s first trillionaire: “Sir, what are you going to do with all that money?”. “I can buy a chicken and some bread now!”, says Abou, while walking out of his bank in Zimbabwe

Score: 72

A chicken can jump higher than Empire state building... It's true because buildings can't jump.

Score: 41

The waiter said to me “I just want to let you know that kids eat for free.” I said “Good! I’ll take a water and some chicken tenders, and my daughter will have a steak and a kids Bud Light.”

Score: 58

Why didn't the chicken go down the slide? He de-slided not to!!!!! Ha ha.... I have no friends

Score: 30

Why did the vulture cross the road? Because the chicken didn't make it.

Score: 35

A guy walks into his home with a chicken under his arm... Husband: "here's the cow I've been sleeping with"

Wife: "that's not a cow that's a chicken"

Husband: "I wasn't talking to you"

Score: 24

Why did the rooster go to KFC? He wanted to see a chicken strip

Score: 41

I was making chicken noises in class Got a detention for using fowl language

Score: 35

Why did the chicken cross the road? To find people who care about its cake day.

Score: 26

A chicken pie in Jamaica costs €2.00 A chicken pie in Trinidad costs €2.15 A chicken pie in St Kitts costs €2.40 These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

Score: 28

A chicken walks in a bar and orders a drink The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food."

Score: 38

There was a bad storm that broke the chicken coop causing a farmer to lose a few chickens. After the storm he asked his farm hand how many chickens were left.

“16 chickens, sir.”

“Alright, round them up, please.”

“20 chickens, sir.”

Score: 52

Started a chicken dating website. It's not my full time job, just doing it to make hens meet.

Score: 49

I put my USDA inspected chicken strip in my wallet. Now my legal tender is safe.

Score: 40

I have a chicken proof lawn... It's impeccable.

Score: 34

There's a strange new trend at work, people are writing names on the food in the company fridge Today I had a chicken sandwich named Kevin

Score: 54

My science teacher told us this James Bond says to a chicken, "I'm Bond, James Bond." The chicken turns and says, "Well I'm Ken, Chic-ken."

I'll see myself out...

Score: 22

You can't fool me. I know chicken fried rice isn't real. You expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice?

Score: 34

Why did the depressed chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the Other Side

Score: 37

Having a girl as a friend is like having a chicken as a pet.. Sooner or later you're gonna want to eat it

Score: 36

Chicken pot pie. My 3 favorite things.

Score: 22

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a pitbull? Just the pitbull.

Score: 30

The difference between chicken salad and egg salad... Is largely timing.

Score: 21

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster came first.

Score: 58

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get out of the range of the North Korean missiles

Score: 60

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was from subway and could only make it half way.

Score: 40

I fed my chickens a chicken wing... I guess you could say they enjoyed themselves. *ba dum tss*

Score: 36

What animal spins around about 200 times after it dies? A rotisserie chicken

Score: 26

I ate a salad today and it contained both eggs and chicken I didn't know where to start.

Score: 39

Why did the chicken love Campbell's Soup? Because his family had stock in the company.

Score: 30

Why did the chicken fall in the well? He couldn't see that well.

Score: 35

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? It heard the referee was blowing fowls

Score: 25

My 8 year old son wrote this... What do you call the ghost of a chicken that haunts people in their homes?

A poultry-geist.

Score: 55

What do you call a chicken looking at a lettuce? Chicken Caesar Salad

Score: 25

Why did the Chicken go to KFC? To see a chicken strip.

Score: 41

An African lady named Betty came into my restaurant today and asked, "Is there any chicken on the menu?" I replied, "No, Black Betty, it's ham or lamb."

Score: 22

Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside

Score: 34

Did you hear about the family of racist chicken detectives? They're called the Clue Clucks Clan

Score: 57

Mexican word of the day Mexican word of the day: Chicken Wing

My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing some money.

Score: 25

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