Puerto Rican Jokes

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Funniest Puerto Rican Jokes

Funny Puerto Rican Jokes

Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature? Because the spray paint can wasn't invented until 1949.

Three doppelgangers are hanging out together. One is Puerto Rican, one is a vegan, and the last one does crossfit. How do you know which is which? Don't worry, they'll tell you.

How do you know if someone is Puerto Rican? They tell you.

What is the Puerto Rican national anthem? Partly in the USA

A Puerto Rican meteorologist sought counseling. When asked "why?" he replied, "Tropical Depression."

Why are Puerto Ricans & Mexicans discouraged from marrying each other? Bc their kids will be too lazy to steal.

What do you call two Puerto Rican guys playing basketball? Juan on Juan

What do you call a Puerto Rican on a roller coaster? A coaster rican.

Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature? Because spray paint wasn't invented until 1949.

What did the Puerto Rican branch say to his son? Jurisdiction.

What’s a Puerto Rican cats favorite meal? Mice and Beans

Why can’t Puerto Rican’s play hockey. Because they would make Piaguas out of the ice.

What do you get when you mix a Puerto Rican with a goat?? A weed eater that doesn't work.

Donald Trump was carrying a Colt 45 When asked why, he said it's just for shooting cans.... Africans Mexicans and Puerto Ricans

Why don't Puerto Ricans like blowjobs? They don't like ***any*** kind of job.


(Sorry, nothing against the Puerto Ricans, could be any group, but I heard it this way)

I’m an expert in Puerto Rican Judo... Judo know if I got a knife, and judo know if I got a gun

My wife is half Puerto Rican... ...and my kids are Quarter Rican

Guys, you've been seeing Trump throwing paper towels at the hurricane affected Puerto Ricans the wrong way Clearly, he's a fill-n'-throw-pist.

How many Puerto Rican voters have to die before Trump decides to save one? All of them. Puerto Ricans can't vote in the presidential election....

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Long Puerto Rican Jokes

A very clean joke

A Portuguese, Spaniard, Dane, Finn, Swede, German, French, Italian, Belgian, Austrian, Czech, Polish, Russian, Afgani, Serbian, Brit, Irish, Scot, Sardinian, Corsican, Icelander, Belarian, Romanian, Yugoslavian, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Bulgarian, Turk, Morrocan, Algerian, Liberian, Sudanese, S. African, Zambian, Ethiopian, Bosnian, Nigerian, Angolan, Botswanian, Tanzanian, Saudi Arabian, Kuwaiti, Iranian, Iraqi, Pakistanian, Mongolian, Indian, Burman, Chinese, Cambodian, Laotian, Somalian, Yemen, Syrian, Israeli, Armenian, Philipino, Javan, Australian, Sri Lankan, Malaysian, Georgian, Taiwanese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Puerto Rican, Dominican Republican, Aruban, Jamacian, Cuban, Haitian, El Salvadorian, Guatamalan, Nicaraguan, Costa Rican, Panamanian, American, Canadian, Mexican, Argentinian, Bolivian, Peruvian, Columbian, Brazilian, Ecuadorian and a Venezuelan walk into a bar.

​

The bartender looks up and says, "Sorry. I cannot serve you without a Thai."

On a warm summer morning, a family of ducks and a family of skunks are crossing a country road when...

without warning, a car barrels over a hill and into the path of the animals wiping out both families except for one baby duckling and one baby skunkling. The pair hightail it off the road and find refuge in a hole in a tree. They decide to stick together and support each other in order to survive. Their strategy proves successful and they grow and thrive under each others friendship.

One day the skunk was returning to the tree after a long day of foraging and finds the duck sitting on a log with his head hanging low, tiny, webbed feet dangling.

The skunk says, "Hey Duck, what's the matter? You're looking kinda blue."

The duck replies, "Well, you know, having my entire family killed when I was so young and living in a hole in the tree with the skunk, I feel that I really don't know what I am anymore.

The skunk says, "Well, look at you. You've got feathers, a bill, you quack. You're a duck."

"Hey, thanks. You know, that really helped," Said the duck and he went on his merry way.

Days later the duck was returning to the tree after a long day at the pond and finds the skunk sitting on the log with his head hanging low, tiny, fuzzy feet dangling.

The duck says, "Hey Skunk, what's the matter? You're looking kinda blue."

The skunk replies, "Well, you know, having my entire family killed when I was so young and living in a hole in the tree with the duck, I feel that I really don't know what I am anymore."

The duck says, "Well, look at you. You're black, you're white, you stink. You're Puerto Rican."

A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a Romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.

The waiter stops them and says “Sorry, you can’t come in here without a Thai.”

EDIT: This isnt my joke but I found it funny

So Donald Trump was talking to one of his aides, and off on one of his usual rants

“We need less immigrants! Less Mexicans! Less Colombians! Less Guatemalans! Less Puerto Ricans!”

Finally the aide couldn’t take it anymore, leaned in and said quietly: “fewer.”

“I told you not to call me that yet!!”

One day a family of squirrels and a family of skunks are crossing the road...

...a car drives by and hits them. The only survivors was a baby squirrel and skunk and from that day on they became the best of friends. Years later, they're walking through the woods together:

Squirrel: Hey, have you ever wondered what we were?

Skunk: Yes, I have.

Squirrel: How about we take a guess what we are, think of a few things that might make us that animal.

So they pause to think for a bit

Squirrel: I'll go first! So, I really like nuts, I can be crazy at times and I have a bushy tail, so I must be a Squirrel!

The skunk agrees, then ponders for a bit

Skunk: Hmm, well let's see here. I am not entirely white, but I am not entirely black and I smell bad, so I must be a Puerto Rican.

The Skunk and The Duck

A family of skunks and a family of ducks were crossing the street... Because of the traffic a baby skunk and the baby duck had to stay on the other side of the road as they watched their families walk away. The duck and the skunk started to get upset because they didn't know who they were or what they were. So the duck decided to ask the skunk what he is.
So the skunk starts off telling the duck that he has a beak, webbed feet and feathers.. so he must be a duck.
The duck starts the off saying that he's half white, half black and smells funny.. so he must be Puerto Rican.

~lol I'm not racist &&-its just a joke
*_^

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