Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons. If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.
I have two requirements in my will....
1) I want my remains spread out at Disney World
2) I do not want to be cremated.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection...
He’s never gonna give you Up.
Two blondes are going to Disney Land
At the turn off, they see a sign saying "Disneyland left"
They went home crying.
Rick Astley is such a nice guy
He'll let you borrow any of his Disney Pixar DVD collection! Except Up!
He's Never Gonna Give You Up
A man on his deathbed is telling his friend his final wishes
Man: I have two final wishes
Friend: what are they?
Man: firstly I'd like my remains scattered over Disney Land
Man: secondly, I don't want to be cremated.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up.
Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White?
'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.
*Joke's from my Dad and his friend*
When I die I'd like my remains to be scattered at Disney Land... Also, I don't want to be cremated.
What is the difference between Disney and brazzer? Disney teaches you how to hate your step mom while Brazzer teaches you how you can show your love.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies ? Disney Movies still touch kids
The Ukrainian government is opening up a tourist attraction in Chernobyl. It will be like Disney World, except the six foot tall mouse is real.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection apart from one. He's never gonna give you Up.
What do Disney World & Viagra have in common? They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride
Rick Astley asked for my Disney films the other day. I said, you can have Cars and Toy Story, but I’m never gonna give you Up.
What do Disney movies and coathangers have in common? They can both bring out the child from within.
Gimme your best Mickey Mouse/Disney character joke! Going on a Disney Cruise and need your funniest, raunchiest or most nasty joke involving a Disney character.
Which Disney Princess gives the best blowjobs? Cinderella, cuz she goes all the way to the ball.
What do Viagra and Disney world have in common? You have to wait an hour for a 3 minute ride.
Disney shouldn't have to post warning signs Don't their gators make a ticking sound as they approach?
What do Disney World and Viagra have in common? They both make you stand around for an hour and wait for a two minute ride.
BREAKING. With Disney buying Star Wars Donald Duck will now have four nephews. Huey, Louie, Dewey and Chewie.
I just got a lifetime ban for spreading my wife's remains around Disney World Guess we should of had her cremated first
I hate these double standards. When a singer says “touch my body” it’s okay... ...but when I say it I’m “Not allowed back in Disney World”
My girlfriend told me to stop watching Disney movies and be a man. Does anyone know how to be swift as the coursing river?
When I die, I want my remains to be scattered throughout Disney world. I don’t want to be cremated.
Rick Astley will give you any of his Disney movies except this one. He's never going to give you Up.
Why didn't the Disney Princess go to the doctor when she got sick? Because the cold never bothered her anyway.
Disney is attempting to take over and brainwash our country by bringing back '80s Mickey Mouse merchandise NOT ON MY WATCH!!
Apparently rick Astley is really stingy with his Disney DVD collection. Yeah he’ll share toy story, but he’s never gonna give you Up.
Disney names translated:
Simba = "Lion" in Swahili
Nemo = "Lost" in Latin
Woody = "Boner" in English
I always wanted a life like a Disney princess I should have specified not the part where they are stuck at home, cleaning the whole day
What does Kylie Jenner and a Disney princess have in common? They're both made by the hands of others.
Disney Corp is so paranoid about the Coronavirus, they re-released the Snow White movie under another name It's now called, Snow White and the 6 Dwarfs.
Why did Disney wrap up Tangled the Series ? Because they wanted to stop Rapunzel from defending Corona
Quick question Why do models get to be naked but when I do “I can’t do that here” and “ I’m not allowed at Disney world anymore”
Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common?
A. They both make you wait an hour for a two-minute ride.
A girl I am dating said, "I expect to be treated like a Disney Princess." So I told her to pretend she is the Little Mermaid and stop talking.
Why did Snow White get kicked out Disney World? She threw Pinocchio on the ground, sat on his face, and said "Lie to me!".
Disney was truly progressive and brave when choosing Rey as the new face of star wars. I can't even remember the last time I saw a kleptomaniacal hero
There is a Monsters Inc Comedy Show in Disney World and you can send in jokes to be included, here's mine (it was included)
What's a swamp monster's favorite holiday treat.
What do you do with a drunken sailor? Make a Disney trilogy featuring an evil talking octopus
What’s a racist’s favourite Disney song? “Put That Thing Back Where It Came From, Or So Help Me”
What DO you do with a drunken sailor? Make a Disney Trilogy featuring an evil Scottish octopus and rake in the money
I went to the Doctors and told him kept hallucinating and seeing Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck and their pals..... The Doc said not to worry...you're just having Disney spells...
Do you think Disney wanted a ginger for the little mermaid But the casting director was dyslexic?
I hear Disney is doing a live-action remake of Snow White...
...one of the dwarves is rumored to be played by Bagel Boss Short King.
I think he’ll play Bashful.
I’m going to Area 51 to see if they have Walt Disney’s frozen head. That’s right everyone! After space mountain I’m going to see Disney on Ice!
Disney Toy Story vs R Rated Toy Story
Disney Toy Story Woody "I got a snake in my boot"
R Rated Toy Story Woody "I got a snake in my booty"
When I die, I want my remains sprinkled around Disney World, maybe a little bit in "Space Mountain", a bit in "It's a Small World." Also, I don't want to be cremated.