Disney Jokes


Funniest Disney Jokes

Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons. If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.

Score: 30627
Funny Disney Jokes
Score: 15930

I have two requirements in my will.... 1) I want my remains spread out at Disney World

2) I do not want to be cremated.

Score: 2496

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection... Except Up.
He’s never gonna give you Up.

Score: 1237

Two blondes are going to Disney Land At the turn off, they see a sign saying "Disneyland left"

They went home crying.

Score: 346

Rick Astley is such a nice guy He'll let you borrow any of his Disney Pixar DVD collection! Except Up!

He's Never Gonna Give You Up

Score: 234

A million or more lab rats die each year and my fiance screams at me for running over a mouse. That's the last time we're going to Disney.

Score: 167

A man on his deathbed is telling his friend his final wishes Man: I have two final wishes

Friend: what are they?

Man: firstly I'd like my remains scattered over Disney Land

Friend: and?

Man: secondly, I don't want to be cremated.

Score: 149

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up.

Score: 139

Mickey Mouse "Doc, my knees hurt!" Doctor: Which knee?

Mickey: Disney

Score: 125

Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White? 'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.

*Joke's from my Dad and his friend*

Score: 108

When I die I'd like my remains to be scattered at Disney Land... Also, I don't want to be cremated.

Score: 100

What is the difference between Disney and brazzer? Disney teaches you how to hate your step mom while Brazzer teaches you how you can show your love.

Score: 98

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies ? Disney Movies still touch kids

Score: 89

Goofy tripped over a stone and got hurt Mickey Mouse : Hey Goofy ! Are you okay?

Goofy(crying) : No i got hurt on my knee!!

Mickey Mouse : Oh No ! Which knee?

Goofy(pointing to his leg) : Disney

Score: 81

The Ukrainian government is opening up a tourist attraction in Chernobyl. It will be like Disney World, except the six foot tall mouse is real.

Score: 67

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection apart from one. He's never gonna give you Up.

Score: 61

What's the best Disney song to listen to while having a threesome? You've Got a Friend in Me

Score: 55

Disney finally released Yoda's last name. His full name is: Yoda Lay-Heehoo

Score: 51

Rick Astley asked for my Disney films the other day. I said, you can have Cars and Toy Story, but I’m never gonna give you Up.

Score: 50

Why does Scottish Mickey Mouse no longer use his helicopter? It Disney land.

Score: 45

Whos the funniest disney princess? raPUNzel

*sits there laughing to self*

...so lonely..

Score: 40

In Communist China Winnie the Pooh owns Disney

Score: 37

How do you hydrate a 2 year old at Disney World? Gatorade

Score: 34

What do Disney movies and coathangers have in common? They can both bring out the child from within.

Score: 33

Gimme your best Mickey Mouse/Disney character joke! Going on a Disney Cruise and need your funniest, raunchiest or most nasty joke involving a Disney character.

Score: 31

Disney shouldn't have to post warning signs Don't their gators make a ticking sound as they approach?

Score: 28

Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

Score: 24

BREAKING. With Disney buying Star Wars Donald Duck will now have four nephews. Huey, Louie, Dewey and Chewie.

Score: 23

I just got a lifetime ban for spreading my wife's remains around Disney World Guess we should of had her cremated first

Score: 21

What is Frankenstein's favorite Disney song? "I'll make a man out of you."

Score: 14

The Seahawks were going to go to Disney World... but they decided to pass.

Score: 8

My wife was teaching our children that Barbie and Disney were sexist and misogynistic. I happen to believe that children learn through examples set by their parents.

So I told my wife to shut her yap and get back in the kitchen.

Score: 5

What’s a racist’s favourite Disney song? “Put That Thing Back Where It Came From, Or So Help Me”

Score: 4

Do you think Disney wanted a ginger for the little mermaid But the casting director was dyslexic?

Score: 4

With the hype for Ariel The Mermaid remake. I made a suggestion to Disney, but they banned me from their website Apparently suggesting a remake of Tarzan with a black man was a bad idea.

Score: 4

Why did the disney chicken cross the road? Because he had friends on the other side

Score: 3

What is the name of Trumps favourite Disney movie? Wall-E

Score: 3

What do Disney movies and Robert Kraft have in common? Target audience.

Score: 2

why do live action remakes never do well because the only thing faker than the animation is disney’s care for consumers

Score: 2

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New Disney Jokes

Which Disney princess has the most jokes Rapunzel

Score: 0

My shirt is a Disney movie Because it’s inside out

Score: 1

Disney Corp is so paranoid about the Coronavirus, they re-released the Snow White movie under another name It's now called, Snow White and the 6 Dwarfs.

Score: 1

What do the UK and Disney have in common? They're both ditching the EU

Score: 1

What is the most annoying disney princess? Poke-ahontas

Score: 2

Disney Toy Story vs R rated Toy Story Disney Toy Story Woody "I got a snake in my boot"

R Rated Toy Story Woody "I got a snake in my booty"

Score: 1

Do you wanna know my favorite Disney princess? Homer Simpson. Why not? Now that Disney owns everything.

Score: 1

A rollercoaster at disney got shut down for having a small gap in the middle of the ride It probably wasn't wise to have a clothing store in a rollercoaster anyway.

Score: 0

The Seahawks were going to go to Disney Land after the super bowl but they decided to pass.

Score: 1

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