Disney Jokes


Funniest Disney Jokes

Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons. If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.

Funny Disney Jokes

I have two requirements in my will.... 1) I want my remains spread out at Disney World

2) I do not want to be cremated.

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection... Except Up.
He’s never gonna give you Up.

Two blondes are going to Disney Land At the turn off, they see a sign saying "Disneyland left"

They went home crying.

Rick Astley is such a nice guy He'll let you borrow any of his Disney Pixar DVD collection! Except Up!

He's Never Gonna Give You Up

A man on his deathbed is telling his friend his final wishes Man: I have two final wishes

Friend: what are they?

Man: firstly I'd like my remains scattered over Disney Land

Friend: and?

Man: secondly, I don't want to be cremated.

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up.

Mickey Mouse "Doc, my knees hurt!" Doctor: Which knee?

Mickey: Disney

Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White? 'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.

*Joke's from my Dad and his friend*

When I die I'd like my remains to be scattered at Disney Land... Also, I don't want to be cremated.

What is the difference between Disney and brazzer? Disney teaches you how to hate your step mom while Brazzer teaches you how you can show your love.

What do Viagra and Disney World have in common? A one-hour wait for a two-minute ride

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies ? Disney Movies still touch kids

The Ukrainian government is opening up a tourist attraction in Chernobyl. It will be like Disney World, except the six foot tall mouse is real.

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection apart from one. He's never gonna give you Up.

What's the best Disney song to listen to while having a threesome? You've Got a Friend in Me

What do you get when you mix Viagra with Disney World? Kicked out.

What do Disney World & Viagra have in common? They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride

Disney finally released Yoda's last name. His full name is: Yoda Lay-Heehoo

Rick Astley asked for my Disney films the other day. I said, you can have Cars and Toy Story, but I’m never gonna give you Up.

Why does Scottish Mickey Mouse no longer use his helicopter? It Disney land.

Whos the funniest disney princess? raPUNzel

*sits there laughing to self*

...so lonely..

In Communist China Winnie the Pooh owns Disney

How do you hydrate a 2 year old at Disney World? Gatorade

What do Disney movies and coathangers have in common? They can both bring out the child from within.

Gimme your best Mickey Mouse/Disney character joke! Going on a Disney Cruise and need your funniest, raunchiest or most nasty joke involving a Disney character.

Which Disney Princess gives the best blowjobs? Cinderella, cuz she goes all the way to the ball.

What do Viagra and Disney world have in common? You have to wait an hour for a 3 minute ride.

Disney shouldn't have to post warning signs Don't their gators make a ticking sound as they approach?

What do Disney World and Viagra have in common? They both make you stand around for an hour and wait for a two minute ride.

BREAKING. With Disney buying Star Wars Donald Duck will now have four nephews. Huey, Louie, Dewey and Chewie.

I just got a lifetime ban for spreading my wife's remains around Disney World Guess we should of had her cremated first

I hate these double standards. When a singer says “touch my body” it’s okay... ...but when I say it I’m “Not allowed back in Disney World”

What do you call an emo kids cartoon? Disney XD.

My girlfriend told me to stop watching Disney movies and be a man. Does anyone know how to be swift as the coursing river?

When I die, I want my remains to be scattered throughout Disney world. I don’t want to be cremated.

My disabled friend hates Disney movies. He can't stand Up

Rick Astley will give you any of his Disney movies except this one. He's never going to give you Up.

What's Bill Cosby's favourite Disney movie? Sleeping Beauty

Popular Topics

New Disney Jokes

Why didn't the Disney Princess go to the doctor when she got sick? Because the cold never bothered her anyway.

Disney is attempting to take over and brainwash our country by bringing back '80s Mickey Mouse merchandise NOT ON MY WATCH!!

Apparently rick Astley is really stingy with his Disney DVD collection. Yeah he’ll share toy story, but he’s never gonna give you Up.

Disney names translated: Simba = "Lion" in Swahili
Nemo = "Lost" in Latin
Woody = "Boner" in English

I had an orgy with the Disney princesses and one of them gave me crabs

Which Disney princess has the most jokes Rapunzel

My shirt is a Disney movie Because it’s inside out

I always wanted a life like a Disney princess I should have specified not the part where they are stuck at home, cleaning the whole day

Rick Astley would give you any Disney movie except one... He's never gonna give you Up!

What does Kylie Jenner and a Disney princess have in common? They're both made by the hands of others.

Disney Corp is so paranoid about the Coronavirus, they re-released the Snow White movie under another name It's now called, Snow White and the 6 Dwarfs.

Why did Disney wrap up Tangled the Series ? Because they wanted to stop Rapunzel from defending Corona

Quick question Why do models get to be naked but when I do “I can’t do that here” and “ I’m not allowed at Disney world anymore”

What did one alligator say to the other? I like the food at these Disney parks.

Shortness Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common?
A. They both make you wait an hour for a two-minute ride.

A girl I am dating said, "I expect to be treated like a Disney Princess." So I told her to pretend she is the Little Mermaid and stop talking.

Why did Snow White get kicked out Disney World? She threw Pinocchio on the ground, sat on his face, and said "Lie to me!".

Disney was truly progressive and brave when choosing Rey as the new face of star wars. I can't even remember the last time I saw a kleptomaniacal hero

What Disney princess often has to go to the bathroom? Tinklebell

There is a Monsters Inc Comedy Show in Disney World and you can send in jokes to be included, here's mine (it was included) What's a swamp monster's favorite holiday treat.


I caught some Disney employees making out Apparently its a sequel to 'Up' or something

What is Frankenstein's favorite Disney song? "I'll make a man out of you."

What do you do with a drunken sailor? Make a Disney trilogy featuring an evil talking octopus

What did the man say when he broke his leg at Disney World? "Disney really hurts."

What’s a racist’s favourite Disney song? “Put That Thing Back Where It Came From, Or So Help Me”

What DO you do with a drunken sailor? Make a Disney Trilogy featuring an evil Scottish octopus and rake in the money

What do the UK and Disney have in common? They're both ditching the EU

I’m renaming my kids Sony and Disney Because they can’t agree on anything

I went to the Doctors and told him kept hallucinating and seeing Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck and their pals..... The Doc said not to worry...you're just having Disney spells...

Do you think Disney wanted a ginger for the little mermaid But the casting director was dyslexic?

I hear Disney is doing a live-action remake of Snow White... ...one of the dwarves is rumored to be played by Bagel Boss Short King.

I think he’ll play Bashful.

I’m going to Area 51 to see if they have Walt Disney’s frozen head. That’s right everyone! After space mountain I’m going to see Disney on Ice!

What do you call a Disney concentration camp? Mouseschwiz

What is the most annoying disney princess? Poke-ahontas

Disney Toy Story vs R Rated Toy Story Disney Toy Story Woody "I got a snake in my boot"

R Rated Toy Story Woody "I got a snake in my booty"

Disney / Marvel just signed Caitlyn Jenner for a movie deal. The new ex-Men movie.

Chernobyl is just like Disney land The only difference? The 7 foot mouse is actually real.

When I die, I want my remains sprinkled around Disney World, maybe a little bit in "Space Mountain", a bit in "It's a Small World." Also, I don't want to be cremated.

Disney just launched a Mt. Everest attraction. You wait in line, then die.

What do you call something that is going to die 10 minutes after you see it for the first time? Every mom in every Disney movie

Popular Topics

Long Disney Jokes

Obama went on a run

and fell in a river.


three young boys pulled him out of the river. Obama said my god, you saved the president of your country. name any one thing you want and you'll have it.


The first boy said he wanted a house for his mother, they'd never had a house. Obama bought it.


The second boy wanted to go to Disney world. Obama made it so.


The third boy asked for a wheelchair. Perplexed, Obama said "Why do you need a wheel chair, you seem to walk fine".


The young boy replied "well now, sure. but wait until my dad finds out i saved your life."


A six-year-old goes to the hospital with her mother to visit her Grandpa.  When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mother and bursts into her Grandpa's room.  "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "as soon as my mother comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"


"What?" said her Grandpa.


"Make a noise like a frog because my mom said that as soon as you croak, we're all going to Disney World!”

A guy is walking along a beach when he stubs his toe on a golden lamp...

..chuckling to himself he picks it up and gives it a rub. Fwoosh, out pops this enormous genie.

"I am the Genie of the Lamp!" he booms, "I will grant you a single wish for releasing me!"

"Wow! I know exactly what I'd like to wish for," exclaims our hero. "I've always wanted to visit Disney World but I live in England. The problem is I'm afraid of flying and travelling by boat makes me feel sick so... I wish for a bridge from here to Florida so I can drive there!"

The genie leans back and laughs heartily.

"A bridge from here to Florida! You must be joking! The logistics alone boggle the mind. You're talking about pillars of concrete hundreds of feet tall carrying 6 lanes of highway with a length of over 4000 miles and, more to the point, people are going to question where this structure came from. I'd be kicked out of the Genie Lounge! No, sorry pal, you're going to have to come up with something realistic."

The guy rubs his chin and thinks for a moment. "Well, the reason I'm out here is because I've just had a big argument with my girlfriend. So... I wish to understand women - to really know what makes them tick."

"You want lights on that bridge, mate?"

Barack Obama was out jogging one day...

When he tripped, and fell over a bridge railing and landed in the river below. Before secret service could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted in return for saving his life. The first kid said, "I want to go to Disney world!" To which Obama replied, "not a problem, I'll even fly you there in Air Force one." The second kid then says, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's!" "You got it." Said Obama. "I'll even have Michael Jordan himself sign them." Then the third kid says, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in big screen tv and headset." Obama seemed a bit confused at this. "You don't look like yore handicapped." He said. To which the kid replied, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved you from drowning.

Once upon a time...

A horse lived on a farm with a pig, a sheep, and a cow. Now these were no ordinary barnyard animals - for they were bestowed the miracle of Disney animal anthropomorphism - subsequently, the farmer was very happy to have these animals in his posession and the people who came afar to see them made him a very wealthy man.

One day, the farmer's child leaves his guitar outside as his mother calls him for dinner. Curiously, the gang of animals approaches the instrument. The pig picks it up and strums tentatively trying to mimic what he saw the boy doing. He finds that he is a natural and when the farmer hears - he instantly sees the business potential.

So the very next day, the farmer buys a drum-set, bass and another guitar and hands one to each of the animals. The horse himself took a liking to guitar whilst the sheep took the drums, leaving the cow on bass guitar. By sheer narrative convenience, all the animals showed prodigious skill at their respective instruments and became proficient players very quickly. The horse, with his gravelly melancholic voice assumed the role of vocalist.

Their first gig was a roaring success and set them on the road for superstardom. It turned out that the saturated music market had a niche for a band of rock playing animals. Within weeks, they had released their first album and planned on doing a world tour. Tickets at every destination sell out almost instantly.

The first half of their tour was uneventful, however, the horse - not used to the pressures of being a celebrity- began to use alcohol as escapism. He told himself he was in control but the other bandmembers noticed his problem and grew increasingly worried for the horse.

One fateful night, the tourbus loses control on the tarmac and slips off the road into a sharp valley - everybody is killed but the horse. He stumbles out of the wreckage and begins searching for his friends and every corpse he stumbles across breaks him even more.

The funeral was a dull affair and despite their stardom, few people turned up. The horse wept bitterly for his friends who he thought deserved a better farewell. Turning and leaving the procession, he wanders aimlessly into the city.

Day quickly turns into night and a storm approaches. The horse hears the thunder in the distance, but he keeps walking like a man without cause. As the first drop begin to fall, the horse spies the neon lights of a bar which promise a warm refuge away from the rain and more importantly, his grief.

So, the horse walks into the bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

Men vs Women

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her 40th birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then, it was off to a movie - the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure!

Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?" One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."

The moral of this story is: When a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.

A couple driving to Disney World...

...saw signs for the nearby town of Kissimmee. Being unfamiliar with the area, they debated whether it is pronounced KISSimmee or kissIMMee or kissimmEE. The debate turned into an argument and they decided that when they got to the town they would ask one of the locals.

So they pulled into a fast food place on the main drag and went inside. Stepping up to the counter, the guy says, “I know this may sound like an unusual request, but could you please very slowly and distinctly tell us where we are?”

The clerk looks at him and slowly says “Buuurrrrgerrrerrrr Kiiiiiiinggggh.”

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. Ladies and gentlemen... STEVEN WRIGHT (more in comments)

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

Isn't Disney World a People Trap Operated by a Mouse?

I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one... It wasn't doing what I was doing.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was the suspect.

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."

I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.

My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm going to move to New York.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

I have a telescope on the peep hole of my door so I can see who is at the door for 200 miles.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Atheism is a nonprophet organization.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I bought a self-learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.

What's another word for Thesaurus?

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I wrote a few children's books... Not on purpose.

I installed a skylight in my apartment.... The people who live above me are furious!

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

I was born by Caesarean section... But not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.

You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.

Walt Disney notices a sharp pain in his knee.

He starts rubbing it, icing it, elevating it on a pillow. But over the following days it only grows worse. He visits his doctor and reports this pain.
“Which knee is hurting you, Walt?”
The famous film producer points to his left knee.

Richard, My Selfish Friend

I like my friend Richard. Sometimes we even hang out with our Chinese neighbor, Yu. One day I was at Yu's house looking through his Disney movie collection and notice that one of them is missing. We remember that we lent it to Richard. Yu called him.

"Hey Rich, you remember that Disney movie I lent you? Could you return it now? It's been a long time."
"Sorry mate. No can do. Still haven't watched it. I'll keep it for the time being."

The next day, Yu was trying to pick apples from his trees, but didn't have the proper equipments. Knowing Richard was a big, tall guy, I called him so he could help him out. He eventually came over and gave Yu a boost on his shoulders. When Yu was finished, he wanted to return to the ground.

"Buddy, could you let me down please?"
"Sorry mate. No can do. You can stay right up there." Then he walked away with Yu on his shoulders.

The next day, I call Richard and Yu over to my house because I'm renovating my living room and I needed help l needed help moving around furnitures.

Now as opposed to Richard,Yu isn't a big guy. He's actually pretty small and feeble. But Richard's just running around carrying 27 things in his arms and almost hitting Yu multiple times. Yu gets scared and asked him to slow down.

"Sorry mate, no can do. But I won't hurt ya. Don't worry a thing."

I think Richard is a good person after all.
Because he's

Never going to give Yu Up, never going to let Yu down, never going to run around and hurt Yu.

Walt Disney

Just after WWII, Walt Disney was at a loss for new subjects for his movies and decided to take his family on a tour of the world to refresh his creative spirit. Walt, ever the optimist, was undaunted and vowed to seek out an idea for a new film, even if he had to stray from his normal family-friendly genres. Good fortune struck him when in the second week of his tour of India, he was offered a chance to meet and chat with the great Mahatma Ghandi himself. Curiously, it turns out Ghandi was a big fan of Mickey Mouse, heard its creator was visiting nearby, and sought Walt out for a meeting. Word reached Walt from the British embassy and he jumped at the chance. He and his wife hastily arranged for an embassy worker to mind the children while they went to seek out the great man.

Ghandi was a very humble and spiritual man, so when Walt entered Ghandi's home, he found him sitting on the floor, dressed in a simple white robe, spinning yarn. Ghandi's hands were rough and callused from years of physical labor. Also, Walt noticed that Ghandi was very thin and fragile from his fasting and hunger strikes to protest British subjugation. A short time into their conversation in the cramped abode, Walt noticed that Ghandi had the pungent bad breath of a devout vegetarian. Walt left after a wonderful, lengthy conversation thinking this fascinating man would be a great subject for a feature film.

When Walt and his wife got back to the British embassy to collect their children, Walt could hardly contain his excitement as he told his children of his encounter. The children were less interested in this and more excited in telling the their father about the fun they'd been having with their British caretaker. Walt kept going on though, until the children's sitter - a very prim and proper British woman who had no use for Ghandi or Indian independence - interrupted him. "You mean you want to make a movie about that super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis?"

*The "pun"chline is relatively pervasive, but the credit for the idea for the story goes out to an unknown YouTube commenter who laid out a similar framework some time ago*

A lot of people believe Walt Disney is cryogenically frozen in the basement of CalArts.

# I personally love this conspiracy theory because it's a wonderful example of suspended animation.

Credit to the greatest animation professor of all time, Mr. Theo Artz of Drexel University.

Two Star Wars super-fanboys who hated The Last Jedi die and are at the gates of heaven

St Peter is there and tells them that before entering the afterlife, they may ask God himself one single question that He will answer truthfully for them.

"All the secrets of the Universe, past present and future are all available to you. Ask, and He will answer."

They whisper with each other and decide on a question to ask.

The first guy steps forward and says

"Did Mark Hamill actually like The Last Jedi or did Disney force him to say nice things about the movie despite him knowing it's the worst movie ever and ruined Luke?"

God replies

"Mark Hamill originally had some conflicting thoughts when he first read The Last Jedi script, but by the time he had finished the movie came around and realized that Rian Johnson's vision for Luke's character was much better than any idea he himself had and he is now very pleased with how the character developed. Disney never forced him to say anything. He was never even pressured or talked to. Mark's biggest disappointment was that fans took his words out of context to push a narrative of hate for a movie he worked hard to make and is very proud of."

The two guys look at each other in shock. The second guy whispers to the first guy.

"You know what this means?"


"Disney's influence goes even higher than we ever thought!"

A Disney Language Joke I made up

The Disney Princesses had cats. Tiana's was named One, Two, Three, Snow White's was Eins, Zwei, Drei, and Belle's was named Une, Deux, Trois. They decided to put the cats on rafts and race them.

Tiana and Snow White's cats made it to the end, but Belle's died because

Une, Deux, Trois, Cat, Sank.

There was an older couple going on a nostalgic trip to Disney World (my grandmother told me this one a few years ago)

It was a long drive and once they finally got to Kissimmee they began to argue about the pronunciation of the city name.

"I'm telling you it's pronounced kih-suh-mee"

"No Harold, it's kuh-sih-mee"

The man gets sick of the argument and decided it's time to settle this once and for all, he pulls into the next parking lot he sees, gets out of the car, goes inside the store and goes right up to the young man at the counter. Angry and clearly disheveled the older man asks the boy "you, young man, tell me where we are, slowly, syllable by syllable!"

Surprised the boy looks at the man and says very slowly: "Bur-ger king"

Old but gold

One day, John visited Rick to borrow some movie to watch.

John: "can i borrow some of your movies?"

Rick: "Sure thing, just follow me"

John followed rick to a room full of movies from a to z

Rick: "so what are you looking for?"

John: "oh just some family friendly movies like Disney or Pixar would be nice"

Rick: "alright then, let me get those movies for you"

Rick picked a handful of movies and started handing them to john one by one

Rick: "so here is Aladdin, cars, finding nemo, and monsters inc.... However"

John: "however?"

Rick: "I'm never gonna give you UP"

I'm not sorry

It was the night before the wife's 40th birthday

So the man asked his wife what she'd like for her 40th birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then, it was off to a movie - the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure!

Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"

One eye opened and she replied, "You idiot, I meant my dress size."

There were three little boys visiting their grandparents.

The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, "Can you make a sound like a frog, Grandpappy? Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds, "No, I don't really want to make the sound of a frog now."

So, the second little boy comes out and asks his grandfather, "Will you please make a sound like a frog?" Grandpa again says, "No, not now. I don't really want to do that. I'm in a grumpy mood. Maybe later."

Then the third little boy comes out and says, "Grandpa, oh please... Please, please will you make a sound like a frog?"

"Why do all of you boys want me to make a sound like a frog?" Grandpa asked.

The little boy replied with a hopeful face, "Well, Mom said that when you croak we get to go to Disney World!"

Four dads are arguing, each dad claims to have the best son in the world.

The first dad says, "My son is the best because he is so rich, I only gave him a small loan of a million dollars and he ended up making four billion dollars from his multi-billion dollar hotel business. He has even appeared on many TV shows. He is so successful that he was elected to lead a country. Not only is he so rich and powerful but he also donates a lot of money to charity, once he bought a private jet to give to one of his friends as a birthday gift, he's so rich that a private jet was like nothing to him because he has billions of dollars in net worth."


The second dad says, "My son is the best because he is so famous. Being a multi-millionaire, everyone wants to suck up to him, many companies want him to sponsor their business. He is a YouTube star and is also an actor for a Disney Channel show. He is part of a team named after the tenth cardinal number. He started to rise to fame when he wrote a song to describe that it is each time period of 24 hours male sibling. He bought his friend a Rolex as a birthday gift and the Rolex felt like nothing to him because he is so rich.


The third dad says, "Your son is pathetic, my son is the best because he owns a huge music corporation that makes millions of dollars. He is capable of legally manipulating the Indian government to cater for him. He exploited many loopholes of the Indian government to legally sell pirated songs. He runs a YouTube channel business where singers can pay him to upload the singers' music to his YouTube channel. He is capable of altering the government system. After his uncle got assassinated by the Indian mafia, he managed to rewrite the law allowing him to legally live without paying any taxes. In fact, he can manipulate the Indian government to censor the internet in any way he wants. Which allowed him to censor some weird video about a Swedish dude rapping about some Italian food and a female dog. He is so rich and successful that he bought a mansion for a friend as a birthday gift and still has millions of dollars."


The fourth dad says, "My son was only able to attend a community college. He is very poor and makes minimum wages working at McDonalds." The other dads start laughing and they make fun of the the fourth dad's son.

Then, the fourth dad says, "My son spent years saving up money to throw a birthday party, only a few people attended his party but he got some great birthday gifts. He got a mansion, Rolex, and a private jet from some of his friends that attended his birthday."

I was at Disney World buying a drink when I accidentally backed up into a little person.

“I’m so sorry sir! I wasn’t paying attention and I should have been. Are you okay?” I say.

“I’m okay, but I’m not happy” he says to me.

Confused, I reply, “Well that’s good, but which one are you?”

Popular Topics