Bowling Jokes

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Funniest Bowling Jokes

Funny Bowling Jokes

My wife asked me: "Shall we go bowling or stay cozy home." I replied: " I am sick of putting my fingers in holes that everyone has touched with their sweaty hands. Let's go bowling!"

The Harshest "Yo Mamma" Joke... Yo Mamma is like a bowling ball...

She likes to get picked up, fingered, thrown down a dark alley, then comes back for more.

I went bowling with my daughter. Next time I'll just use a bowling ball.

What does a bowling ball and your mom have in common? You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter, and they'll always come back.

After winning the game I decided to throw my ball into the crowd Apparently that’s frowned upon in bowling

Dad's Balls After a successful strike dad would always love throwing the ball to the kids in the crowd.


After the 3rd time, he wasn't allowed in the bowling alley anymore.

Was with my girlfriend yesterday.. We discussed if we should go bowling or just stay at home and chill.
Told her that I didn't want my fingers where everyone else's fingers had been.

So we went bowling.

Riddle me this, Batman. What do you find in an alley that has holes in it? "M-my parents?"

"No! A bowling ball! I'm so sorry..."

My girlfriend bought me a bowling ball the other day. She thought i wouldn't like it but, It was right up my alley!

What's the difference between your mother and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

I asked my French friend if he watched superbowl... ...he said bowling is not so big in Europe.

What's the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of bowling balls? There's only one you can unload with a pitchfork.

Edit: Who said something about dead babies?

After I won the game, I decided to throw the ball into the crowd just like they do on TV. Now I’m permanently banned from the bowling tournament.

Breaking up with your significant other is like bowling You carry something heavy going into it, and if it goes as planned, you walk away with an X.

What's the only difference between a prostitute and a bowling ball? I can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball

Why did the bowling pins stop working? They went on strike!

Your mom is like a bowling ball. She's round, heavy, gets picked up, fingered in three holes, tossed in the gutter and she still comes back for more.

I threw my ball into the crowd after I won the game. And that's why they won't let me go bowling anymore.

:)

In honor of the Bowling Green Massacre, wear a green ribbon . . . . . . or, perhaps more appropriately, some color you made up in your head.

After I won the game I decide to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on TV.... Apparently that's unacceptable in bowling

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a bowling ball? I don’t have a freezer full of bowling balls in my basement.

After hours of waiting for the bowling alley to open... ...we finally got the ball rolling.

The Galactic Empire, after the destruction of the Death Star, has taken to bowling during the interim. The Empire Strikes Back, they call it.

What do you call an African who plays 10 pin bowling online? Ebola.

A woman ask her husband if he wants to go bowling or spend a night together at home... The man said:

"I don't want to spend my time sticking my fingers in stinky holes where everyone putted their fingers in..

Let's go bowling!"

What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a baby? a bowling ball doesn’t scream when its rolled down the aisle

What's the difference between your mom and a bowling ball? Your mom can't fit in a bowling ball.

I started to tell a bowling joke to my friend He stopped me and said: spare me.

My car can speed faster than bullets, drive under water and knock down evil like bowling pins. It's a Porsche to be reckoned with

Whats the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can´t unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

Whats the difference between a prostitute and a bowling ball? You cant fit a prostitute in a bowling ball

What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball? You can only fit three fingers in the bowling ball.

My aunt lost a foot when someone dropped a bowling ball on her Does she walk with a limp?

No, she's just a bit shorter.

The bowling alley down the street just had its 300th strike. They must have terrible working conditions.

If you have any puns about bowling Spare me

A video of a groundbreaking bowler goes viral He still had to pay to fix the bowling lane though

Me and my trans male buddy decided to form a bowling team. We’re calling ourselves “2 Men 2 Balls 1 Goal.”

What do bowling and vegetables have in common? A spare I guess

What's the difference between Madonna and a bowling ball ? You can only fit three fingers in the bowling ball.

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New Bowling Jokes

Are you a bowling ball? Because I’m going to stick my fingers in you

What do you call playing tenpins with your friends amid the lockdown? Bowling for quarantine.

in france a dinner jacket is le smoking a track suit is le jogging. a camp site is le camping. a bowling alley is le bowling. that they call their swimming pools la pissing is why i've never been able to trust them

What is the difference between a Bowling Ball and a Woman A Bowling Ball doesn't Moan when you put your fingers inside

What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins? An Airstrike

I always like to go bowling on Thanksgiving. Because I am guaranteed to get a turkey that day.

What’s the difference between a truckload of puppies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can’t unload bowling balls with a pitchfork.

What's the Difference Between a Truckload of Bowling Balls and a Truck Full of Woodchucks? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitch-fork

I’m really good at bowling I always get a hole in one

I have a bowling fetish. Don't knock them till you try it.

Thought I would be fine having another drink. Woke up later in an alley. Then, the bowling ball hit me.

What's the difference between a truck load full of bowling balls and one full of babies? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitch fork

What's the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't offload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

What's the difference between a whole bunch of babies and a large stock of bowling bowls? You can't stack the bowling bowls using a pitchfork.

What’s the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of bowling balls You can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork

Have you ever heard of the Bowling Ball Killer? He waits till he sees a group of people standing in a perfect bowling pin formation and then that's when he strikes. Very disturbing.

(not mine, but my partner's joke)

What’s the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can’t unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

A bowling ball and a black man fall out of a tree at the same time and altitude, what hits the ground first? The bowling ball.

the black man stops at the neck.

The owner of the local bowling alley decides to divorce his wife now he has to pay her alley-money

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

If god is bowling when its thundering... If God is bowling when it's thundering and the angels are crying when it's raining, then what's going on up there when it's snowing...

I told my wife that I’d gotten a new job at the bowling alley She said “ten pin?”

I said “no it’s permanent!”

What do you call a drop in online bowling players? An ebola crisis.

I was lucky enough to win a couple of coupons for some cool bowling balls with number jokes printed on them. I won two, three for five, sick "seven ate nine" ten pin bowling balls.

Or in other words I... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ...pin bowling balls.

Why do moon rocks taste better than Earth rocks? They’re a little meteor.

A joke I saw at the bowling alley...just wanted to share.

I started a Fantasy Bowling League. But I'll spare you the details.

My friend told me that onions were the only things that could make him cry so I threw a bowling ball at him to prove him wrong

Was reading about that shooting at a bowling alley today. Luckily some of the hostages managed to escape... They waited until 7/10, then they split...

Your wife and your attorney are drowning. You got two options... Go golfing, or go bowling

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

I was bowling with a friend and when it was his turn, I called out to him: "Germany, Italy, Spain, Norway!"


"What?" My friend said.


"Europe."

Why couldn't the bowling club attract any good players? They said 3 strikes you're out.

Why do Babies have the soft spot on the top of their heads? So that if there is a fire in the hospital, the nurses can carry them out 3 to each hand like a bowling ball.

I just started a new job in a bowling alley Yeh, just tenpin'

What is the difference between a bowling ball and a baby? I don't have a collection of bowling balls in my basement.

What's the best way to pick up a woman? Like a bowling ball.

What is the difference between a trunk full of bowling balls and a trunk full of dead babies? You can't use a pitchfork to take out the bowlig balls.

Cage the Elephant only won the Grammy out of pity... ...because they're originally from Bowling Green, and everyone was sorry for the loved ones they lost.

Did you hear about the Bowling Green Massacre? No?
Neither did the victims.

One shudders to think how much worse the Bowling Green Massacre would have been... ... If it weren't for the heroic intervention by Frederick Douglass.

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Long Bowling Jokes

An American man, a French man, a Spanish man and a German man are standing on the sidewalk, trying to watch a street performer juggle bowling pins.

The juggler notices they're having a bit of trouble, so he stands on a large wooden box and says to them, "Can you see me now?"

They answer one at a time:

"Yes."

"Oui."

"Sí."

"Ja."

A priest told me this joke as a kid.

There were 3 men, they were best friends, and they were quite unhealthy. Their names were, Bert, Chester, and Earl.

They were actually really unhealthy and Bert decided that he needed to take charge of him and his friends' health. He decided that they were going to be on a diet together to help them live for as long as possible. He broke the news to his friends, and they weren't too happy about it, but they decided to go along with it anyways, because they knew how out-of-shape they all were. It was tough for them all to stick to the plan at times, however they got through it together. They each lost between 120-140 pounds over the course of 20 years and were in amazing shape for their age.

​

One day the 3 of them were given great news.

Bert got a call, he answered it, then turned around to everyone and said:

"Guys! My daughter just had a child! I'm going to be a grandpa!". Everybody was celebrating for Bert when Earl got a call from his son. He answered it, and turned around to everybody and said:

"Guys! My son is going to get married today! I'm so excited!". Everybody was now celebrating for Bert and Earl, when Chester got a call. He answered it, turned around and said to everybody:

"Guys! My family is having a reunion today! I'm going to see so many people that I haven't seen in years!".

​

They found out that the wedding, hospital, and park where the reunion was were all in the same town, and decided to carpool together to get there. It had snowed a little the day before and the roads were a little icy. As they were getting onto the highway, their car slipped and ran into a semi-truck. It killed all three of them.

​

The three of them wake up together in heaven. They notice an angel standing over them and one of them asks

"Where are we?". The angels says:

"Congratulations, you made it to heaven". The angel decides to show them around the place and starts at a banquet. "Here is a banquet for you three to enjoy, you've earned it". Chester looks a little sad, and Earl notices and asks him,

"What's wrong?". Chester finally speaks up,

"Okay, this is so nice of you to put together, but we're on a diet. I wouldn't want to overdo my calorie intake for the day". The angle replies to them,

"No worries, you can have as much food as you like without worrying about it". The guys are elated by that news, when the angel decides to show them another place.

​

Next, the angel decides to show them a place where they can spend time having fun. He shows them to a massive building with games everywhere you look. There are at least 50 pool tables, 30 bowling alley lanes, people are playing poker, there are arcade games everywhere, and tons of people enjoying themselves. He tells them,

"This is where you may spend much of your time, if you choose. Many people enjoy it here and you might find some new friends". The guys really like this room, but Earl notices that Chester is looking sad again. Earls asks him,

"What's wrong?". Chester responds with,

"My wife left me because of my gambling problems, I don't want to disappoint anyone else because of it. I'm afraid I wont be able to enjoy this area". The angel then slightly irritated lets him know,

"Don't you see? There are no problems here. You don't have to worry about gambling issues, because money isn't an issue here". Chester is especially happy to hear that news, and the angel decides to show them where they are going to live.

​

The angel finally takes them to the third place, and it is a huge mansion. The guys are led inside, when the angel says,

"This is where you three can live, if you choose to. Otherwise we have some other mansions, if you don't want to live alone". The guys are very intrigued by the house, they notice a big window on a wall with an amazing view. They could see for at least 5 miles clearly. They all can't help but gasp when looking through the window. Earl can't help but be concerned about this place. He decides to ask,

"So, uh... What's the rent here?". The angel looks back at them with an irritated glare are replies

"Nothing? It's free". Earl is sure to thank the angel and says,

"Wow! That's so kind of you guys!". Bert notices that Chester is looking a little sad. Bert says,

"What's wrong Chester? Isn't it amazing here?". Chester looks up, looks Bert in the eye and says a little mad,

"If it weren't for your goddamn diet. Bert. We could've been here 20 years ago!".

​

Big Mike and the Saloon

In the Old West, there's this saloon. It's decently-sized and fairly crowded. But one day, the sheriff comes in and yells, "Y'all better git! Big Mike is comin'!"

The folk in the saloon figure this Big Mike guy is bad news, so the whole place clears out. The bartender is about to close up shop when this big, burly guy slams the doors open and starts clamoring toward the bar. The guy must have been six foot ten, three hundred pounds, with fists the size of bowling balls.

Before the bartender could say a word, the guy grabs the nearest bottle of whiskey and chugs it. After emptying the bottle, he smashes it on the bar and starts chewing on the glass shards. The bartender, scared out of his wits, mutters, "c-c-can I g-g-get you another b-b-bottle?"

The guy says, "Nah, I better git. Big Mike is comin'."

A priest and driver died

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.

'Come with me', said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.

'Wow, thank you', said the taxi driver.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.

'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up', said the priest. 'Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.'

'Yes, that's true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.'

Oh, Dave!

Dave's wife thinks that he is pushing himself too hard, so she takes him to a local strip club for his birthday.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How are ya?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

They sit and a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know what you drink."

"No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them."

A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. "Hi, Davey," she says, "Want your usual lap dance?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. His wife starts screaming at him.

The cabbie turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real doozy this time, Dave!"

Two bowling teams, one made up of all blondes and the other one of all brunettes...

reserve a double-decker bus for a weekend tournament.

The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus and the blonde team rides on the top level.

The brunette team down below is whooping it up and having a great time when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs.

She decides to go up and investigate. When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road and clutching the seats in front of them.

The brunette says, "What is going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!"

One of the blondes says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"

A bowling ball jumped off the roof of a tall building.

Looking among the pieces of shattered bowling ball, the Physicist in the crowd regretfully said, "He had so much potential..."








I know I know. I'm not a dad but I teach physics and I've never made up a joke before....

That's not a bowling ball, dad.

This weekend me and my dad were out bowling, you see. He gets his shoes on, and picks his ball from the rack. A nice, shiny, pinkish purple ball. He throws it down the lane, and we can't find it. The thing is gone. We look for at least an hour for this ball, but it's vanished. In the car on the way home (for automotive reasons) we pull into a gas station. My dad perks up, face scrunching in focus, and he says: "there's the ball!"

I said: "Dad, that's a short fat man buying a granola bag."

A joke my dad told me when I was young

Timmy went to school every day. On Fridays, his teacher would ask a question and whoever got it right would be excused from school for a week.

One Friday the students were in class at the end of the day and the teacher asks the question. "How many grains of sand are there on the entire earth?"

"But mam, how are we supposed to know that?" The students respond.

"Well I guess I'll see you all Monday!"

The next week on Friday she gets the classes attention to ask another question. "How many pints of water are there on this entire earth?"

"Come on mam, that's not fair! How are we supposed to know that?"

"Well, I guess I'll see you on Monday!"

Timmy gets so mad and he comes up with an idea. Next Friday, Timmy brings 2 big bowling balls.

In class the teacher gets ready to ask. "So this weeks question is..." And Timmy rolls the balls to the front of the class. She sees them and says "Who's the comedian with the big black balls?"

"Bill Cosby, see you in a week!"

Two Mexicans riding a bicycle

Two Mexicans are riding a bicycle on a road about 15 miles outside of Lafayette , LA. One of the bike's tires goes flat and they start hitching a lift back into town. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the Mexicans ask him for a ride. He tells them they can ride in the trailer if they could fit in with 20,000 bowling balls he is hauling.

They manage to squeeze themselves and their bike into the back and the driver shuts the doors and gets on his way. Wanting to make up time the trucker speeds up. Sure enough a blonde cop pulls him over for speeding. The officer asks the driver what he is carrying, to which the driver jokingly replies "Mexican eggs."

The Blond Lady Cop obviously doesn't believe this so she takes a look in the trailer. She opens the back door and shocked, quickly shuts it and locks it. She calls for immediate backup from headquarters, the Border Patrol and the Swat Team. The dispatcher asks what emergency she has that requires so many officers.

"I stopped a Tractor-Trailer with 20,000 Mexican eggs in it... two have hatched and they've already stolen a bicycle."

My favorite kids joke

One Sunday afternoon Rain Drop, the oldest child, grows curious and asks her mother:

"mother, why did you name me Rain Drop?"

"February 22, it was a winter night when I had you, me and your father took you out of the hospital as soon as you were born. It was raining outside and the first thing that touched your forehead was a clear cold rain drop, so we names you after that."

Rain Drop excited tells his brother and sister. Her sister, Snow Flake, asks her father:

"Father, why did you name me Snow Flake?"

"It was December 21, and you were just born that morning. Your mother and I took you outside from the warm hospital to the cold winter weather. As we let you see the sky a tender snow flake falls and vanishes in your pink lips. And that's why we named you Snow Flake"

Then bowling ball asks the mom

"Wysfodletlkqsquipeso!?"


Edit: fudstilipo stust gru pababe

My Cousin's Wedding Night

On my cousin's wedding night he approached our grandfather and asked, "Pap, you and gram have been married for 56 years. Can you give me any advice on my wedding night?"

My grandfather responded, "take the hardest thing you got and put it where she pees."

My cousin thought for a moment and then asked, "why would I put my bowling ball in the toilet?"

3 men decide to throw some things out of an airplane. (My favorite joke as a kid)

There are 3 men in an airplane and they thought it would be funny to drop some things out of the plane. So the first guy thinks it’s funny to drop a brick out of the plane. The second guy tried to one up him and he decided to drop a bowling ball out of the plane. The last guy thought they weren’t going hard enough so he threw a bomb out of the plane.

So after the plane lands all 3 men leave and start walk home. On the way home the first man sees a little girl crying and the man asks, “little girl little girl why are you crying?” She answers, “I was walking home and a brick fell out of the sky and hit me in the head!”

The second guy while walking home saw a little boy crying and he asks the little boy, “little boy little boy why are you crying?” And the boy responds, “I was walking my dog and bowling ball fell out of the sky and hit me in the head!”

The third guy started walking home and he saw another little boy on the side of the road just completely dying of laughter. And he was very curious about what was so funny so he asks the little boy, little boy little boy what could be so funny? And the boy between laughing manages to answer “My dad farted and my house blew up!”

After many faithful years as a Christian, John's dedication finally paid off as he found himself the girl of his dreams.

At the wedding he walks over to his best friend for advice.
"Hey man! What is it that I'm supposed to do when I get her all alone after the wedding?"
"Ah, that's simple. You just take your most prized-possession and stick it in where she pees."
"Ah! Thanks dude!"
"No problem!"
Later that night, John took his bowling ball and put it in the toilet.

Wife asks her husband to go bowling

She : "Honey do you want to go bowling tonight? We could also stay at home, make it cosy and watch a movie?"

He : "I really don't feel like putting my fingers in holes where everybody has already been with their filthy sweaty fingers.. come on let's go bowling"

Many years ago, a middle-aged couple took in a young woman boarder.

When she asked to take a bath, the woman of the house told her, "We don't have a bathtub but you're welcome to use the washtub in front of the fire. Monday nights would be best; my husband bowls every Monday."
The following Monday, when the husband had left for his bowling league, the housewife filled the washtub and watched as the young girl undressed.
She noticed with surprise that the girl had no pubic hair. When she told her husband later that night he didn't believe her, so she said, "Next Monday, before you go off to bowling, I'll leave a little gap in the curtains and you can sneak back in to see for yourself."
This week, as the girl undressed, the wife asked, "Do you shave yourself down there?"
"No," replied the girl, "I've just never grown any hair there. Do you have hair there?"
"Oh, yes," said the woman and she showed it to her.
After the husband came home from bowling, the wife asked him, "So? Did you see it?"
"Yes, and you were right," he said. "But why did you show her yours?"
"Why not?" she replied, "It's nothing you haven't seen before."
He replied, "True, but it was sure a surprise to my bowling team!"

Donald Trump and a preist die and go to heaven

St. Peter greets them at the Pearly gates waiting for them. 

'Come with me', said St. Peter to Donald Trump

Trump did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an olympic size pool. 

'Wow, not a Mexican in sight" he mumbled as St. Peter went back for the preist.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set. 

'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up', said the priest. 'Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.' 

'Yes, that's true. But during your sermons people slept. When Donald Trump became president, everyone prayed.'

A man and his wife are on a business trip

A man and his wife where on a business trip. It was supposed to only take 1 day, and they expected to be home that night, but it took longer than expected and tired of a long day having a meeting, they decide to stay in a hotel and return the next day.

They slept well and the next morning, they’re ready to go home. But when the man is shown the bill, he replied: what? $100,00? Just for 1 night? I’m not paying for that! Well, you have to understand, sure, the manager, who is behind the desk, replies, we have a lot of services here, we have a laundry room, a bowling alley, a golf course and much more. I understand that, but I haven’t used any of those! The man answers. No, but you could have! Says the manager. Alright, the man says, I’ll pay for it. And he writes a cheque of $50,000. But that’s only $50,000! The manager says, you said you were gonna pay the whole bill! The man replies: I ask $50,000 for sleeping with my wife! What? That’s reticules! The boss replies, I haven’t slept with you wife! No, but you could have!

My team decided to establish a tradition

Everyone on the team would sit in a circle surrounding the team captain before the start of the season. He would then headbutt the ball at one of us, and they would have to headbutt it back at him. The captain would then headbutt it at the person sitting next to them. This would repeat as it cycled through the circle. We tried to get it consistently through the circle as many times as we could. The more times we completed a circle, the better the season would be. We had to stop this tradition, though. Recently, as much as it pains me to say, it caused a death. Kevin was the best teammate we ever had. Out bowling team just won’t be the same without him.

A Mini Wheat's story of success

Once there was a Mini Wheat. He always wanted to accomplish something significant in his life, but he felt like he couldn't, because he was simply a normal Mini Wheat.

One day, the Mini Wheat was walking down the street when he saw a frosted Mini Wheat. "Wow," the Mini Wheat thought, "That guy looks really successful! I wanna be like him!"

So the Mini Wheat approaches the frosted Mini Wheat and asks, "How do I become a frosted mini wheat like you?"

The frosted Mini Wheat replies, "You have to go without eating for an entire day."

"I can do that," says the Mini Wheat. And he does: he practices his self restraint, and goes without food for a day, and BOOM, he becomes a frosted Mini Wheat.

Now the Mini Wheat was more successful than he had ever been, but he wanted more. Out his window, he spotted a strawberry frosted Mini Wheat, and he rushed outside to meet him.

"Hello, sir!" The mini wheat said, "You must be really important. How do I get to be like you?"

The strawberry frosted Mini Wheat replies, "You have to go without eating for three days."

"I think I can do that," says the Mini Wheat.

So he puts aside all temptations, buckles down, and fasts for three days. And at the end of three days, BANG, he becomes a strawberry frosted Mini Wheat.

Now the Mini Wheat is much happier. He has a well-paying job, a nice house, and he's even found a girlfriend with which to share his good fortune. But when he's walking down the street, wearing his expensive clothes and stylish shades, he comes across a blueberry frosted Mini Wheat.

"Wow," says the Mini Wheat, "I want to be like that guy! Just LOOK at how RICH he is!"

So the Mini Wheat approaches the blueberry frosted Mini Wheat and asks, "How do I get to be as amazingly successful as you?"

The blueberry frosted Mini Wheat tells him, "You have to go without eating for a week."

"That'll be tough," the Mini Wheat thought, "but I bet I could do it!"

So he stuffs himself with food and then sits around his house without eating for a week. And at the end of a week, BAM, he becomes a blueberry frosted Mini Wheat.

Now the Mini Wheat possessed more than he could have ever dreamed. He owned a small company, had a luxurious house, drove a fancy sports car, and was the biggest chick magnet at the bar.

And yet he still wasn't satisfied, so when he saw a chocolate frosted Mini Wheat walking down the street, accompanied by his servants and bodyguards, he had to ask him, "How could I become as popular and as famous as you?"

The chocolate frosted Mini Wheat replied, "You have to go without eating for a full month."

This was a challenge that the little Mini Wheat was not so sure he could complete. A month was, needless to say, a long time to go without food. But he figured he'd give it a try, because he really wanted to be as important as the chocolate frosted Mini Wheat before him.

So, one month later, the hungry and emaciated Mini Wheat finally turned into a chocolate frosted mini wheat.

Upon his transformation, the Mini Wheat found himself in a world of unbelievable class. He attended all the fancy parties, he showed up in magazines and TV shows, and his company grew to financial greatness.

But there was one level of social status that the Mini Wheat still had yet to achieve, and an opportunity for this presented itself when he spotted a Big Wheat being thronged by people on the street.

The Mini Wheat rushed outside and elbowed his way through the crowd to get to the Big Wheat. Over the tumult, he yelled out, "All my life I've been a Mini Wheat. How can I become a Big Wheat like you?"

The Big Wheat heard him over the din and replied, "You have to go without eating for an entire year."

The Mini Wheat's heart fell when he heard this. Surely he couldn't go a full YEAR without eating! He would die!

But this meant enough to the Mini Wheat that he was willing to try. So once again, he ate all the food he could, and settled down for a hibernation. Six months passed, then nine, then ten...the Mini Wheat was hungry, but he felt like he could make it.

Finally, FINALLY, after one painfully long year, the Mini Wheat awoke from his slumber to find that he was no longer a Mini Wheat: he was now, a Big Wheat.

Soon, the ex-Mini Wheat became the mayor of the city, a huge figure in popular culture, and his business grew to a global scale. He bought office buildings around the world, and even had a skyscraper to call his home.

He had one of his frosted Mini Wheat butlers show him around his new skyscraper, explaining all the services and luxuries at his disposal.

"Here, you'll find the movie theater, and on your left is the pool," the butler said. "Beyond that is the bowling alley, the spa, and the cafeteria, down at the end."

They stepped out into the cafeteria, where different counters all sold different drinks. "Any of those drinks you want, you can have," the butler told the Big Wheat. "You won't have to pay for them, but you will have to wait in line."

"Wow," the Big Wheat said, "I can have ANY of these drinks? Whenever I want?"

"Yes," the butler chuckled. He gestured around the room. "As you can see, there's a line for soda, a line for coffee, a line for beer, a line for milk..."

"What about Punch?" The Big Wheat asked. "I like punch. It reminds me of all the fruity flavors I've gone through to reach where I am today."

The butler glanced around the room for a moment, and then shook his head. "Im sorry, sir," he said, "There's no punch line."

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