Cheese Jokes


Funniest Cheese Jokes

Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as... "The most violent book I have ever read"

Score: 14619

Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. He wants to make America grate again.

Score: 2806

What do they call the Hunger Games in France? Battle Royale with Cheese.

Score: 1731
Funny Cheese Jokes
Score: 1119

A bomb just went off in a paris cheese shop There is de brie everywhere!

Score: 907

What happened when the cheese factory exploded? De brie went everywhere

Score: 811

I ate at Mary Poppin's Restaurant last night... Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious

Score: 807

Two cheese trucks ran into each other De brie was everywhere.

Score: 763

It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, "Order!!" So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.

Score: 710

What did Helen Keller say when she picked up the cheese grater? That was the most violent book I've ever read...........

Score: 644

I think we should ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again.

Score: 473

Helen Keller....... Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as "The most violent book I've ever read".

Score: 389

Did you know Donald Trump is banning pre-shredded cheese? TO MAKE MERICA GRATE AGAIN

Score: 327

My kid made this one up: How do you make Swiss cheese? With a holey cow.

Score: 286

What did Ray Charles say when they handed him a cheese grater? This is the most violent thing I've ever read.

Score: 276

Shredded cheese has officially been banned in grocery stores in the US. Trump will make America grate again.

Score: 258

Did you hear about Stevie Wonder getting a cheese grater for his birthday? He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

Score: 236

Which cheese is made backwards? Edam!

(Kill me)

Score: 217

My girlfriend is in the hospital after she ate a giant bacon cheese burger. It was mine.

Score: 209

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? All that was left was de-Brie.

Score: 194

Once I saw a blind man touching a cheese grater at Ikea. He said: "who wrote this bullshit"

Score: 191

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. They are calling it the wurst käse scenario.

Score: 179

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? Apparently people were covered in debris.

Score: 173

I had a job where I had to put shredded cheese back together It was the most degrating job I've ever had.

Score: 164

Donald Trump is introducing a 30% tax on shredded cheese. It's part of his plan to Make America Grate Again.

Score: 164

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.

Score: 164

Did you hear about the cheese truck that crashed? The street was littered with de brie

Score: 156

Did you hear about that French cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de brie.

Score: 153

Sweet dreams are made of cheese... Who am I to diss a brie?

Score: 152

Cheese shop exploded Thankfully I was only hit by da brie

Score: 150

What's a stoner's favorite cheese? Mun Cheese!

Score: 28

A man just assaulted me with milk and cheese How dairy

Score: 13

Why don't old men eat out their old wives? Have you ever tried to pull apart a grilled cheese?

Score: 9

You know what they call Fortnite in America? They call it a quarter battle with cheese.

Score: 8

What did the cheese go as for Halloween A muenster

Score: 7

The best way to eat Welsh cheese? Caerphilly.

Score: 6

I walked up to the register at the ball park with a question. If it’s NAH- CHO cheese, then whose is it?

Score: 5

What is a Princess with a yeast infection called in France? A royal with cheese

Score: 4

There was an explosion at a French cheese factory earlier today Officials say theres nothing but de brie left.

Score: 4

What’s the difference between cheese and girls? Cheese becomes better with age

Score: 4

Popular Topics

New Cheese Jokes

Cheese has magical properties for the lactose intolerant, we turn into Oscar Pistorious... ... and run to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Score: 2

What are the similarities between vegan cheese and female celebrity? They’re both full of plastic.

Score: 0

Illinois has corn, Wisconsin has cheese, what does Michigan have? Lead poisoning.

Score: 1

What does the cross between a narcissist and cheese say? I am the GRATEST!!

Score: 1

5yo me, getting ready to chow down on mac and cheese, smells it before I take a bite. To which my Grandfather speaks up, "Do you smell everything before you eat it?" Me: "Yeah, grandpa!"

Grandpa: "Boy, that's gonna put a real hamper on your love life!"

Score: 0

My friend dropped his favorite corn chip into a vat of melted cheese. "Aw, man," I sympathized, "It's just nacho day."

Score: 0

What is Magnus Carlsen's favorite cheese? Goat cheese.

Score: 0

What did the duck say to the cheese grader. nothing ducks can't talk

Score: 0

So I ate at Mary Poppin’s restaurant last night... Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious.

Score: 0

A black slave escaped with a wheel of cheese. The owner was being interviewed by southern law enforcement where he asked: "will you be able to find him?" Which the officer replied: Can't say but one things for sure, he Nacho Negro.

Score: 2

President Erdogan has won Turkish cheese maker of the year. He excels at getting the curds out of the whey.

Score: 3

Guys, I just want to let you all know... I really love spicy cheese dip! K, so?

Score: 2

I had my first interview for a cheese company I think it went grate

Score: 3

What's pārmēsān? Macrony cheese

Score: 0

Did you hear about the shop that just opened in India that sells fresh meat and cheese? It's a new deli.

Score: 4

I can't believe exterminators get money from killing rats. I killed a rat once and got a lifetime ban from Chuck-E-Cheese's.

Score: 3

I know an insane fact about cheese. You won’t brie-lieve it.

Score: 2

You know what they cal a fortnite with cheese in paris Battle royale with cheese

Score: 0

How do you conceal a cheese loving horse? Mask a Pony

Score: 3

What's the most popular sandwich at cafes in Jurassic Park? Dr. Hammond cheese

Score: 3

[OC] How do you know if someone's kicked a cheese too hard? They lactose.

Score: 0

Big explosion down at the Cheese factory today... I guess it completely leveled the place, All that was left was Da Brie.

Score: 3

Uh, hi. Yeah, I'll have a six-inch Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki on Honey Oat, please. No, thanks, no double meat or cheese. Yeah, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, banana peppers, and..." *checks phone* Oh, shoot. Wrong sub.

Score: 2

Thank god Green Bay is known for their cheese. The fudge packers just doesn't have the same ring.

Score: 1

If I had to pick a food as a sophisticated best friend, it'd be cheese cuz cheese is so cultured. Original joke. I'm sure if it's funny though..

Score: 1

What is Jared Fogle's favorite item on the prison food menu? Cheese pizza

Score: 3

Persian joke Yesterday I was so hungry, I went to the sandwich shop and ordered Ham e Cheese.

....همه چيز means "every thing".
(first timer here, be gentle)

Score: 1

Popular Topics