Cheese Jokes

Contents

Funniest Cheese Jokes

Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as... "The most violent book I have ever read"

Funny Cheese Jokes

A bomb just went off in a paris cheese shop There is de brie everywhere!

What happened when the cheese factory exploded? De brie went everywhere

I ate at Mary Poppin's Restaurant last night... Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious

Two cheese trucks ran into each other De brie was everywhere.

It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, "Order!!" So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.

What did Helen Keller say when she picked up the cheese grater? That was the most violent book I've ever read...........

Helen Keller....... Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as "The most violent book I've ever read".

What did Ray Charles say when they handed him a cheese grater? This is the most violent thing I've ever read.

Shredded cheese has officially been banned in grocery stores in the US. Trump will make America grate again.

Did you hear about Stevie Wonder getting a cheese grater for his birthday? He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

Which cheese is made backwards? Edam!

(Kill me)

My girlfriend is in the hospital after she ate a giant bacon cheese burger. It was mine.

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? All that was left was de-Brie.

Once I saw a blind man touching a cheese grater at Ikea. He said: "who wrote this bullshit"

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. They are calling it the wurst käse scenario.

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? Apparently people were covered in debris.

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.

I had a job where I had to put shredded cheese back together It was the most degrating job I've ever had.

Did you hear about the cheese truck that crashed? The street was littered with de brie

Did you hear about that French cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de brie.

Cheese shop exploded Thankfully I was only hit by da brie

I have some sausage and cheese for emergencies... But I will only use them in a wurst käse scenario

What did the man say to the thief stealing his cheese? Stop stealing my cheese

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.

Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as... “The most violent book I have ever read”

What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.

My friend told me he hated blue cheese because it's literally just cheese with bacteria. I told him to stop discriminating against other cultures.

I bought a cheese grater for my blind uncle... ...he said it was the most violent thing he ever read.

BREAKING NEWS!! Cheese Factory Explosion... De-Brie is everywhere!

What did the blind man say when he was handed a cheese grater? Wow! That's the most violent thing I've read in a while!

A man just assaulted me with milk, butter and cheese How dairy

There was an explosion in a French cheese factory. All that was left was de brie.

I was in the supermarket when I got a message on my phone telling me there were 24 singles in my area, Think I'm going to delete the Kraft Cheese app.

What type of cheese is made backwards? Edam

There was an explosion at a French cheese store Everywhere you looked, there was a lot of de brie.

15 dollars for a rat trap, 3 dollars for cheese Coming home to find a house not full of droppings?. Miceless.

Blind friend and a cheese grater I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

A Kraft cheese factory recently burned down... No one reported the fire for hours, because no one believed that there actually were hot Singles in the area.

Popular Topics

New Cheese Jokes

Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? All that was left was da brie.

Went for walk yesterday and a bloke threw a lump of cheese at me. I thought to myself, well that's not very mature.

I used to be a French cheese nut But now I camembert it any longer

I hid some cheese under my bed the other day. I heard that’s where Munster’s hide

A cheese factory exploded in France There was nothing left but de Brie

Last night rioters destroyed the famous Etampes Cheese Market in Paris All that was left was de-Brie

You know why jokes about chips with cheese on them are the best ? They're NACHO JOKES !

Did you hear about the blind guy who got a cheese grater for Christmas? Said it was the most violent book he’d ever read

Did you hear about the tornado at the cheese factory? Da-brie was everywhere.

A ham and cheese sandwich walks into a bar It sits itself down, but when the bartender saw the sandwich, he said "sorry, but we don't serve food here".

I was walking in the street the other day and a man threw a block of cheese at me I said to him 'That's mature'

Then he threw a pint of milk at me and I thought, How dairy.

My friend stole cheese from my cheese collection How dairy

France's's National Cheese Museum just blew up Over five hundred people were injured by de brie

Did you hear about the French cheese factory that caught on fire? All that was left was da brie...

I like my grilled cheese Like I like my women. I don’t like grilled cheese.

What did the cheese say when it saw itself in the mirror? Halloumi

Half of Italy is complaining about the coronavirus and the other half is laughing not taking it seriously All they do is cheese and wine

What do you call a cheese rapper? Prov Malone.

Hey! You hear about that French cheese factory that blew up? They say there was nothing left but de Brie.

Some kid just threw a bottle of milk and a block of cheese at me. How dairy!

A cheese burger walks into a bar The bartender shouts "Sorry, we don't serve food here!"

Have you heard of the French cheese factory that exploded recently? The was nothing left of it but de brie

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater About a week later he told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read

Did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory? There was nothing left but the brie

What kind of music does Swiss cheese listen to? Holy music

The very last thing my dad said to me before he died was 'You need one of those things that you can shred cheese with'... That was some grate advice.

What did the man say when he got lost in a cheese factory? "Excuse me sir, can you show me the whey?"

The moment I knew she was a sub Was when I licked her forehead and it tasted of Italian herbs and cheese

Why did the cheese get promoted? He was gouda his job

What do you call an anorexic with a vaginal infection? A quarter pounder with cheese

Americans should boycott shredded cheese To make America grate again

There's been an explosion at the local cheese factory. There's Da brie everywhere.

What's a whales favorite sandwich? Krilled cheese

Somone hit me with a block of cheese yesterday I turnt arround and said 'That was mature wasn't it? '

What's the best cheese to hide a horse with? Mascarpone

I like my women the same way I like my cheese Fat free American singles

What do you call a cheese maker that works very hard? An overacheeser

What’s the difference between cheese and girls? Cheese becomes better with age

What do you call someone from Northern Syria who took refuge in Wisconsin? A cheese Kurd.

I taught my brother how to make his own cheese and now he can't stop! I created a muenster.

Popular Topics

Long Cheese Jokes

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign hanging over the bar which read: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50, Chicken Sandwich: $2.50, Hand Job: $10.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

“Yes?” she enquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"

I was wondering, whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am."

The man replies "Well wash your f#cking hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.”

The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.”

“Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle, “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.”

She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said “How well can you do?”

“Ummmm...I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever.

“My, my,” said the Poodle, “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.”

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?”

The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the chihuahua.

He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says, “Liver alone, cheese mine."

Not Horny.....

A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!"

The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."

The trucker replies, "Listen, I ain't horny. I'm homesick."

A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

The broom swept the nation away.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in france? There was nothing but des brie.

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.

I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.

What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison.

What should you do if you’re cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.

How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.

The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.

What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.

What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.

Sausage puns are the wurst.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

How did Darth Vader know what luke was getting him for his birthday? He could sense his presence.

Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.

What’s the difference between a bench, a fish, and a bucket of glue? You can’t tune a bench but you can tuna fish. I bet you got stuck on the bucket of glue part.

What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.

Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.

Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.

Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.

Why did the man dig a hole in his neighbor’s backyard and fill it with water? Because he meant well.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.

What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.

What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

What kind of car does a sheep drive? A lamborghini, but if that breaks down they drive their SuBAHHru.

What do you call a spanish pig? Porque.

What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hairline.

Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steak.

A cabbage and celery walk into a bar and the cabbage gets served first because he was a head.

How do trees access the internet? They log on.

Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.

A Mexican family moves to America...

But the father could not find a job and the family fell on hard times. The father went to church every morning to pray to God for food to feed his family.

One day, while he prayed, a black man was coming out of the grocery store up the hill from the church. He had a sack in one hand with a wheel of cheese in it, the bag was heavy, and just as the Mexican man was getting up from praying, the bag broke and the wheel of cheese rolled down the hill.

The Mexican man saw the cheese and could not believe his luck, he thanked God and ran all the way home.

He gave it to his wife and told her that God has sent them a miracle and that she should make nachos out of the cheese.
His wife began to protest, surely she should make something better than nachos with this gift from the heavens.

The man shouted at his wife, "No, it MUST be nachos!"

His wife was stunned, "Why can't we make something else out of this beautiful cheese? she asked.

The man replied "Because all the way home the voice of God followed me, shouting 'That's na'cho cheese! That's na'cho cheese!"

Two Cows

**Edit: Just to make it clear, I am not taking credit for the joke(s). I just merely found it/them whilst browsing around and thought you guys would appreciate it/them.**



SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour



COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk



NAZISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.

You sell them and retire on the income

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION

You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.

You still only have two cows.


A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Sending olive my prayers to the family. His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it. You never sausage a tragic thing.

A man goes to a diner and orders a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of room temperature sweet tea.

When his food arrives he takes a sip of the tea but finds it to be scorching hot.
"Ow!" yells the man, "I asked for this to be room temperature!"
"It is, sir" says the waiter "The kitchen is on fire."

Did you hear about the Italian Chef who died?

He pasta way.
I never sausage a tragic thing.
He is now a pizza history.
Sending olive my support to his family.
We cannoli do so much though.
I feel for his wife. Cheese still not over it.
I guess he just ran out of thyme.

Seen this one in the paper... gave me a giggle

An elderly Irish man lay dying on his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite cheese scones wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom and, with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With laboured breath, he leaned against the doorframe, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for deaths agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon the waxed paper of the the kitchen table, were dozens of his favourite scones.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Irish wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted. He could almost taste the cheese scone before it was in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to the nearest scone at the edge of the table, when his hand was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife...

"Clear off" she said, "They're for the funeral."

A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy were eying a hot chick from across a bar.

She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to them.She says, " I want a man that"s smart. Use the words LIVER and CHEESE in one sentence. "The black guy goes " I love to eat liver and cheese. "The white guy goes " I like to cook liver and cheese. "The Mexican guy goes up to the girl and tells the guys " Liver alone, cheese mine!!"

A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks decided to have a pit stop at a brothel...

A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks decided to have a pit stop at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!"

The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."

The trucker replies, "Listen, I ain't horny. I'm homesick."

A man walks into a bar ...

He goes straight to the bar and asks the barmaid for a beer which she begins to pour, while he's waiting he notices their small food menu to the side:

Cheese Sandwich £5

Ham Sandwich £5

Handjob £5

In disbelief he looks up at the barmaid who is absolutely gorgeous and asks "Are you the one who gives the handjobs?", "Yep" she replies with a smile. He checks his wallet for the £5 and says, "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich."

A Mexican man cannot find work and finally heads home for the evening.

On his way home, he finds a cross at the bottom of a hill. So he kneels and prays to God, "Please God, let me find a way to feed my family".


At the top of this hill, a black man was walking home from grocery shopping when the bottom of his bag gave out and a cheese wheel rolled straight down towards the Mexican man.


When the Mexican man opened his eyes, lo-and-behold, there was a gigantic wheel of cheese at his feet. Overjoyed, he picked up the cheese and ran all the way home. He showed his wife the cheese and said "Look what God has provided us! The most glorious cheese I have ever seen! And, my fair wife, we must make Nachos with this cheese!"


The wife looked perplexed, and asked, "Why husband? Why must we make nachos?"


The man stood up and proclaimed, "Because God talked to me. As I was running home, he kept telling me "That's Not'cho Cheese!!! That's Not'cho Cheese!!!"




(Can't remember the comedian who told this on tv like 25 years ago. But best joke ever)

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are working in a construction yard...

It gets to lunchtime, the men sit down on a half-constructed skyscraper and the Englishman opens his sandwich bag.

He says "Oh great, I've got cheese sandwiches AGAIN"

The Scotsman and Irishman also have cheese sandwiches.

The Englishman says "Tell you what chaps, if I have cheese sandwiches again tomorrow, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Scotsman and Irishman agree to do the same.

The next day, they all have cheese sandwiches and so, as agreed, they all jump off the building.

Their partners meet up at the funeral.

The Englishman's wife says "If he'd just told me, I'd have made him some other sandwiches"

The Irishman's wife says "I agree, all he had to do was ask"

The Scotsman's wife, who seemed the most distraught, then piped up and says "I don't know why he jumped, he makes his own sandwiches in the morning"

A man walks into a bar, and begins reading the menu overhead the smoking hot bartender.

The sign reads as follows:


* Nachos $4


* Hamburger $3


* Hotdog $2


* Grilled Chicken Sandwich $3


* Grilled Cheese $2


* Fries, Onion Rings, and Tater Tots $1.50


* Handjob $10


After he looks over the menu for a moment he asks the bartender, "Are you the one who gives the handjobs?" "Why yes I am." replies the bartender seductively. Then says the man, "Wash your hands! I'd like a hamburger."

Bovine Economics

Basic Economics, brought up to date...

**SOCIALISM**

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbor.

The government charges a gift tax.



**COMMUNISM**

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.



**FASCISM**

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.



**NAZISM**

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.



**BUREAUCRATISM**

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.



**TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM**

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.



**Goldman Sachs (VENTURE) CAPITALISM**

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.



**AN AMERICAN CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.



**A GREEK CORPORATION**

You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds. You still only have two cows.



**A FRENCH CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.



**A JAPANESE CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.



**AN ITALIAN CORPORATION**

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.



**A SWISS CORPORATION**

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.



**A CHINESE CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.



**AN INDIAN CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

You worship them.



**A BRITISH CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

Both are mad.



**AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.



**A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks rather attractive.........

A man holding several miniature pigs walks into a bar.

"Hey, barkeep!" he says, struggling to keep control of his quarry. "Any room for me and my friends?"

The bartender smiles and sets down some plastic cups. The man plops his friends inside, but the cups are too small.

"Um...barkeep?" the man says, pulling them out again. The bartender reaches for some larger mugs, but as he places them next to the cups, it becomes obvious that even these will be too small for the pigs.

Seeing the man struggle to continue holding them, the bartender runs to the kitchen for help.

A cook emerges, holding several large measuring cups. "Sorry, I just used these to make a batch of cheese dip, but they're all yours!"

The man carefully plops each pig into its respective gooey yellow cup.

Arms exhausted, breathing heavily, he drops into a stool at the end of the bar, between his tiny friends and a beautiful girl.

He glances her way, gasping coyly. "Hey...I'm...Tom."

She smiles, having watched the whole ordeal. "Hi Tom, I'm Liz. And if you don't mind me asking..." she laughs, looking over his shoulder, "what was *that* all about?"

He glances back at the bar. "Yeah...sorry," he pants. "I wanted...to impress you, but...it turned out to be...a pretty cheesy...pig-cup line."

I used to know an Italian chef.

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I feel horrible, he just ran out of thyme.

I am sending olive my love to his friends. His wife is really upset too. Cheese crying. He died fusilli reasons. I never sausage a tragic situation.

it was a farfalle from grace.

A man stands in front of a food truck reading the menu

"Cheese burgers $5

Fries $3

Hand jobs $10"

He walks over the the window and there is a beautiful blonde woman working behind the counter.

"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks, handing her ten dollars.

"Yes I am," she replies seductively.

"Well, wash your hands, I want two cheese andburgers"

Popular Topics