Hilarious Cheese Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Cheese Jokes

Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as... "The most violent book I have ever read"

Score: 14619

Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. He wants to make America grate again.

Score: 2806

What do they call the Hunger Games in France? Battle Royale with Cheese.

Score: 1731

Score: 1119

A bomb just went off in a paris cheese shop There is de brie everywhere!

Score: 907

What happened when the cheese factory exploded? De brie went everywhere

Score: 811

I ate at Mary Poppin's Restaurant last night... Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious

Score: 807

Two cheese trucks ran into each other De brie was everywhere.

Score: 763

It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, "Order!!" So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.

Score: 710

What did Helen Keller say when she picked up the cheese grater? That was the most violent book I've ever read...........

Score: 644

I think we should ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again.

Score: 473

Helen Keller....... Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as "The most violent book I've ever read".

Score: 389

Did you know Donald Trump is banning pre-shredded cheese? TO MAKE MERICA GRATE AGAIN

Score: 327

My kid made this one up: How do you make Swiss cheese? With a holey cow.

Score: 286

What did Ray Charles say when they handed him a cheese grater? This is the most violent thing I've ever read.

Score: 276

Shredded cheese has officially been banned in grocery stores in the US. Trump will make America grate again.

Score: 258

Did you hear about Stevie Wonder getting a cheese grater for his birthday? He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

Score: 236

Which cheese is made backwards? Edam!

(Kill me)

Score: 217

My girlfriend is in the hospital after she ate a giant bacon cheese burger. It was mine.

Score: 209

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? All that was left was de-Brie.

Score: 194

Once I saw a blind man touching a cheese grater at Ikea. He said: "who wrote this bullshit"

Score: 191

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. They are calling it the wurst käse scenario.

Score: 179

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? Apparently people were covered in debris.

Score: 173

I had a job where I had to put shredded cheese back together It was the most degrating job I've ever had.

Score: 164

Donald Trump is introducing a 30% tax on shredded cheese. It's part of his plan to Make America Grate Again.

Score: 164

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.

Score: 164

Did you hear about the cheese truck that crashed? The street was littered with de brie

Score: 156

Did you hear about that French cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de brie.

Score: 153

Sweet dreams are made of cheese... Who am I to diss a brie?

Score: 152

Cheese shop exploded Thankfully I was only hit by da brie

Score: 150

I have some sausage and cheese for emergencies... But I will only use them in a wurst käse scenario

Score: 138

What did the man say to the thief stealing his cheese? Stop stealing my cheese

Score: 133

My friend told me he hated blue cheese because it's literally just cheese with bacteria. I told him to stop discriminating against other cultures.

Score: 126

BREAKING NEWS!! Cheese Factory Explosion... De-Brie is everywhere!

Score: 121

There was an explosion in a French cheese factory. All that was left was de brie.

Score: 106

A man just assaulted me with milk, butter and cheese How dairy

Score: 106

15 dollars for a rat trap, 3 dollars for cheese Coming home to find a house not full of droppings?. Miceless.

Score: 92

Blind friend and a cheese grater I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

Score: 90

Why are abortion clinics like a trip to Chuck E Cheese? It brings out the kid in you

Score: 85

What's the difference between Swiss cheese and a black male? Swiss cheese matures before being filled with holes

Score: 59

New Cheese Jokes

I saw a rat , so i found a bat and started hitting. My son was crying , I'm banned from chucky cheese's.

Score: 6

John and Bill are having a conversation. John says I've got a joke.

Bill replies ok what is it.

John: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Bill: Nacho cheese.

John: Aww, how did you know?

Bill: Because it's Nacho joke.

Score: 42

Did you guys hear about the French cheese factory that burnt down recently? The only thing left was da Brie.

Score: 6

A man just assaulted me with milk and cheese How dairy

Score: 13

I got Stevie Wonder a cheese grater for his birthday He said it was the most violent book he's ever read.

Score: 25

What did Trump do with the broken cheese grater? He made it grate again

Score: 21

A woman bought a bag of terribly grated cheese She regrated it later.

Score: 15

Whats red and sits in the corner getting smaller and smaller? A baby playing with a cheese grater

Score: 23

Did you hear about the explosion at the French cheese factory? Da brie was everywhere

Score: 39

Hurricane Ophelia just blew the roof off my cheese factory. There’s de Brie everywhere

Score: 57

If the U.S. ran out of shredded cheese... we would have to "make America grate again"

Score: 26

I walked out my house this morning... And a man threw milk and cheese at me.

I thought, “How dairy?”

Score: 36

You can call me cheese on pasta Because I'm grate

Score: 12

I like my women like I like my cheese Blue, a little below room temperature, and easy to slice

Score: 6

You see a mousetrap I see free cheese and a challenge

Score: 8

Cheese is good Parmesan, however, grate.

Score: 8

Breaking news: There was a massive cheese factory explosion in France today. There were no casualties, but de brie everywhere!

Score: 6

My friend is so vegan, he won't even have his picture taken because he'd have to say cheese.

Score: 42

What did the cheese say when it looked in mirror Haloumi

Score: 7

Early Bird The early bird gets the worm.

...

But the second mouse gets the cheese.

Score: 12

Know what my favourite cheese is? Edam. It's the only cheese made backwards.

Score: 32

What did the cheese say to the mirror Halloumi!

Score: 6

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder w/cheese.

Score: 41

I like my women like I like my cheese Thick, white, and rich.

Score: 14

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Cheese that you didn't pay for or receive as a gift.

Score: 5

Why did the cheese board blow away? Because of the strong bries.

Score: 5

I said, "But there's a hole in this slice of cheese!" Dad said, "It's alright, just don't eat that part."

Score: 7

There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France. De-brie everywhere.

Score: 30

What do you call an empty container of Cheese Whiz? Cheese Was.

Score: 54

As an American, I'm surprised by how unpopular cream cheese and peanut butter are in the rest of the world... I just thought they would have spread more.

Score: 8

Cheese doesn't go bad It just gets more expensive

Score: 8

A blind man complained to customer service He showed the employee a cheese grater and said "This is the worst book I've ever read"

Score: 15

Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as... the most violent book she's ever read.

Score: 6

What do you call Mac N' Cheese without a lot of cheese? Lackin' cheese.

Score: 37

Guy with a lisp turns up to a dinner party carrying a selection of cheeses and a couple of ducks under his arm The host says, "thanks for bringing the cheese, but why the ducks?"

The guest replies, "can't have cheese without cwackers"

Score: 30

A cheese factory exploded today There was de brie everywhere

Score: 6

Donald Trump has imposed a ban on all pre-shredded bags of cheese in stores He wants to make America grate again.

Score: 10

What type of cheese is the lonliest? Provalone.

Score: 10

Went to the shop earlier today, saw a man throwing all the milk, cheese, yoghurt etc I thought to myself...

"How dairy?".

Score: 25

Did you hear about the cheese factory in France that exploded? There was nothing left but de brie

Score: 53

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book

Score: 16

Today I decided to upgrade my Mac... ...so I threw a big slice of cheese on it.

Score: 15

I was gonna write a story about Swiss cheese But the plot had too many holes in it.

Score: 19

What do you get from a sad cow? Blue cheese.

Score: 25

Did you hear about the blind man who got a cheese grater for his birthday? He said it was the most violent thing he's ever read.

Score: 58

Trump signs executive order banning the sale of pre-shredded cheese He wants to make America Grate Again.

Score: 41

Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A: A quarter pounder with cheese.

Score: 8

Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for Christmas He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read

EDIT: Thanks for the gild you lovely person.

Score: 47

When Life gives you a cheese grater... You hold it up and say, 'Life's grate'.

Score: 5

What do you call a super model with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese

Score: 10

TIFU by accidentally giving my girlfriend my sandwich that had extra cheese when she's lactose intolerant Whoops, wrong sub.

Score: 6

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday... A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

Score: 9

What type of cheese is strong? Shredded cheese.

Score: 6

How is making cheese like invading Syria? You get some Kurds in the way.

Score: 6

A cheese factory in France exploded. All that was left was debris.

Score: 29

Donald Trump has just announced a massive jobs program involving tax credits for shredded cheese factories. He says he wants to "make America grate again."

Score: 10

What's a stoner's favorite cheese? Mun Cheese!

Score: 28

What do you call an anorexic girl that has a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese.

Score: 11

After the explosion at the cheese factory... all there was left was de brie

Score: 19

Why don't old men eat out their old wives? Have you ever tried to pull apart a grilled cheese?

Score: 9