Cheese Jokes

Contents

Funniest Cheese Jokes

Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as... "The most violent book I have ever read"

Score: 14619

Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. He wants to make America grate again.

Score: 2806

What do they call the Hunger Games in France? Battle Royale with Cheese.

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Funny Cheese Jokes
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A bomb just went off in a paris cheese shop There is de brie everywhere!

Score: 907

What happened when the cheese factory exploded? De brie went everywhere

Score: 811

I ate at Mary Poppin's Restaurant last night... Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious

Score: 807

Two cheese trucks ran into each other De brie was everywhere.

Score: 763

It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, "Order!!" So I replied fried chicken, mac and cheese and cola. Now I'm being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.

Score: 710

What did Helen Keller say when she picked up the cheese grater? That was the most violent book I've ever read...........

Score: 644

I think we should ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again.

Score: 473

Helen Keller....... Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as "The most violent book I've ever read".

Score: 389

Did you know Donald Trump is banning pre-shredded cheese? TO MAKE MERICA GRATE AGAIN

Score: 327

My kid made this one up: How do you make Swiss cheese? With a holey cow.

Score: 286

What did Ray Charles say when they handed him a cheese grater? This is the most violent thing I've ever read.

Score: 276

Shredded cheese has officially been banned in grocery stores in the US. Trump will make America grate again.

Score: 258

Did you hear about Stevie Wonder getting a cheese grater for his birthday? He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

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Which cheese is made backwards? Edam!

(Kill me)

Score: 217

My girlfriend is in the hospital after she ate a giant bacon cheese burger. It was mine.

Score: 209

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? All that was left was de-Brie.

Score: 194

Once I saw a blind man touching a cheese grater at Ikea. He said: "who wrote this bullshit"

Score: 191

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. They are calling it the wurst käse scenario.

Score: 179

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? Apparently people were covered in debris.

Score: 173

I had a job where I had to put shredded cheese back together It was the most degrating job I've ever had.

Score: 164

Donald Trump is introducing a 30% tax on shredded cheese. It's part of his plan to Make America Grate Again.

Score: 164

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.

Score: 164

Did you hear about the cheese truck that crashed? The street was littered with de brie

Score: 156

Did you hear about that French cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de brie.

Score: 153

Sweet dreams are made of cheese... Who am I to diss a brie?

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Cheese shop exploded Thankfully I was only hit by da brie

Score: 150

A man just assaulted me with milk and cheese How dairy

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Big explosion at the cheese factory earlier.... There was de brie everywhere.

Score: 12

What do you call an anorexic girl that has a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese.

Score: 11

Why don't old men eat out their old wives? Have you ever tried to pull apart a grilled cheese?

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Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese shop in France? The area was covered in De Brie...

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You know what they call Fortnite in America? They call it a quarter battle with cheese.

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The best way to eat Welsh cheese? Caerphilly.

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What do they call the Hunger Games in Japan? Battle Royale with cheese

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A detective walks into a party... and asks the partygoers,
"Do you guys have any Nacho Cheese?"
The partygoers respond,
"No dip, Sherlock."

Score: 5

I walked up to the register at the ball park with a question. If it’s NAH- CHO cheese, then whose is it?

Score: 5

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New Cheese Jokes

Why do scrap salvagers like cheese so much? Because they sort through de-brie to earn some cheddar.

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Cheese has magical properties for the lactose intolerant, we turn into Oscar Pistorious... ... and run to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

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What are the similarities between vegan cheese and female celebrity? They’re both full of plastic.

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Illinois has corn, Wisconsin has cheese, what does Michigan have? Lead poisoning.

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What does the cross between a narcissist and cheese say? I am the GRATEST!!

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5yo me, getting ready to chow down on mac and cheese, smells it before I take a bite. To which my Grandfather speaks up, "Do you smell everything before you eat it?" Me: "Yeah, grandpa!"

Grandpa: "Boy, that's gonna put a real hamper on your love life!"

Score: 0

Hey! You hear about that French cheese factory that blew up? They say there was nothing left but de Brie.

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My friend dropped his favorite corn chip into a vat of melted cheese. "Aw, man," I sympathized, "It's just nacho day."

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What is Magnus Carlsen's favorite cheese? Goat cheese.

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What did the duck say to the cheese grader. nothing ducks can't talk

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So I ate at Mary Poppin’s restaurant last night... Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious.

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What’s the difference between cheese and girls? Cheese becomes better with age

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A black slave escaped with a wheel of cheese. The owner was being interviewed by southern law enforcement where he asked: "will you be able to find him?" Which the officer replied: Can't say but one things for sure, he Nacho Negro.

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President Erdogan has won Turkish cheese maker of the year. He excels at getting the curds out of the whey.

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Guys, I just want to let you all know... I really love spicy cheese dip! K, so?

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I had my first interview for a cheese company I think it went grate

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There was an explosion at a French cheese factory earlier today Officials say theres nothing but de brie left.

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What's pārmēsān? Macrony cheese

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Did you hear about the shop that just opened in India that sells fresh meat and cheese? It's a new deli.

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I can't believe exterminators get money from killing rats. I killed a rat once and got a lifetime ban from Chuck-E-Cheese's.

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I know an insane fact about cheese. You won’t brie-lieve it.

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You know what they cal a fortnite with cheese in paris Battle royale with cheese

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How do you conceal a cheese loving horse? Mask a Pony

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What's the most popular sandwich at cafes in Jurassic Park? Dr. Hammond cheese

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I jist saw two cheese trucks run into each other! Debrie was everywhere.

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What's the difference between an Italian dessert cheese and a small pony who loves makeup? Ones a mascarpone, ones a mascara pony

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I was at the supermarket today and saw a man running out of the door, a bag full of cheese, being chased by security guards. How dairy.

Score: 1

What kind of cheese do elderly people like to eat? Mature cheddar

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What did the cop say to the dairy thief? Stop! That's nacho cheese!

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[OC] How do you know if someone's kicked a cheese too hard? They lactose.

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The Kardashians are all in a rocket set to launch, you can press a button to stop the launch. Would you order a cheese or pepperoni pizza?

Score: 4

You know what they call the Hunger Games in Japan? Battle Royale with Cheese.

Score: 3

How do the Welsh eat cheese? Caerphilly

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Big explosion down at the Cheese factory today... I guess it completely leveled the place, All that was left was Da Brie.

Score: 3

Uh, hi. Yeah, I'll have a six-inch Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki on Honey Oat, please. No, thanks, no double meat or cheese. Yeah, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, banana peppers, and..." *checks phone* Oh, shoot. Wrong sub.

Score: 2

Thank god Green Bay is known for their cheese. The fudge packers just doesn't have the same ring.

Score: 1

If I had to pick a food as a sophisticated best friend, it'd be cheese cuz cheese is so cultured. Original joke. I'm sure if it's funny though..

Score: 1

What was the cheese dip's reply when Chip said Salsa was his best friend? K, so?

Score: 2

What is a Princess with a yeast infection called in France? A royal with cheese

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