Spanish Jokes

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

I always say muchos to spanish people It means a lot to them

I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football. Nobody expects the Spanish in position.

Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice? The Spanish Inquisition.

Who wears a red suit, and knows if you are naughty or nice? The Spanish Inquisition

My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Everyone seemed surprised. Nobody expects the Spanish Acquisition


Edit: expects*

What do you call a group of confused Spanish speaking racists? The ¿Qué Qué Qué?

My uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain He come out late at night to ring people's doorbells.

Because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Madrid. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

Spanish Dad Joke Dad: Son what are you drinking?

Son: Soy Milk

Dad: Hola Milk, me llamo Dad

My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning Spanish since lockdown. He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.

My Spanish teacher taught me the word for "Transgender" I asked him if the word is masculine or feminine

What is the longest word in the Spanish language? Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllll

My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Really blind-sided everyone. Nobody expected the Spanish Acquisition.

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain Nobody ever expects the Spanish ink precision.

People are always amazed at the skilled tattoo artists in Spain. No one expects the Spanish ink precision

A cop pulled over a spanish photon... The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The photon said, "c."

Whenever I'm asked "What happened in 1492?", people are always surprised by my answer. Nobody expects "The Spanish Inquisition".

In a huge lecture hall once I only had four international students turn up - English, French, Spanish and German. I asked if they could all see me. They said... Yes, Oui, Si, Ja

So my Spanish teacher told me to turn in my essay I told her I ain't no snitch

I saw a Spanish magician last night.. he said "uno, dos.." And then he disappeared without a tres

"Uno, dos..." And just like that, the Spanish magician was gone without a tres.

My 4-year-old nephew has been learning Spanish since lockdown. He can’t say ‘please’ which I think is poor for four

Tattoos People are amazed at how good the tattoo artists are in Spain........
They weren't expecting the Spanish ink precision

A Spanish magician was showing a trick.. "For my next trick, I'll disappear into thin air. Uno, dos."

And he vanished without a tres!

A blonde tells her friend "I completed a jigsaw puzzle in record time!"

"No way! How long did it take you?" Replied her friend

"6 months"

"That cannot be a record time!'

" Well the box said from 1 to 3 years"

Sorry for bad English, original was in Spanish

My friend is so rich He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician

What do you call a spanish child molester? A Pedrophile.

A spanish magician ... A spanish magician gets on stage and says "I will disappear in 3 seconds." He counts: "Uno, Dos." And he disappeared without a tres.

A Spanish, Greek and Portuguese man go to a bar. Who pays for the drinks? The German!

A manager was telling his Spanish waiter to put the cutlery on the trays. The waiter didn’t understand so the manager, becoming frustrated said “ON THOSE TRAYS” The waiter replied “no no no it’s uno dos tres”

How does Milk introduce its self in Spanish? Soy Milk

What do you call a Pakistani Prostitute in Spanish? LaHore

What did the Spanish Monk say to break up with his girlfriend? No mas stay.

I was at a restaurant that serves traditional Spanish food. I was shocked to see that they serve clamari, and with the squid's ink! No one expects the Spanish ink cuisine!

Yesterday, my family asked me if I could speak some Spanish for them I said "No".

A Spanish guy went to a concert in America. He was arrested for running onto the stage in the middle of a song. He told the police that he thought they wanted him up there because the drummer had shouted his name and then "Two, Three!" before a song.

Four generations ago, my family left Puerto Rico to come to the mainland in hopes of finding a better life. Though they spoke little English, they learned enough to survive and provide for their families. I just dropped out of Spanish 102.

Canadian joke my dad used to tell me, wanted to see if it translates well... Phillip: What did the Spanish priest say to the Iranian gynecologist?

Terrance: I don't know Phillip

Phillip: *Farts*