Spanish Jokes

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Funniest Spanish Jokes

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

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Funny Spanish Jokes
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I always say muchos to spanish people It means a lot to them

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I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football. Nobody expects the Spanish in position.

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Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice? The Spanish Inquisition.

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Who wears a red suit, and knows if you are naughty or nice? The Spanish Inquisition

Score: 1942

My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Everyone seemed surprised. Nobody expects the Spanish Acquisition


Edit: expects*

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What do you call a group of confused Spanish speaking racists? The ¿Qué Qué Qué?

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My uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain He come out late at night to ring people's doorbells.

Because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician

Score: 606

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Madrid. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

Score: 393

Spanish Dad Joke Dad: Son what are you drinking?

Son: Soy Milk

Dad: Hola Milk, me llamo Dad

Score: 314

My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning Spanish since lockdown. He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.

Score: 277

My Spanish teacher taught me the word for "Transgender" I asked him if the word is masculine or feminine

Score: 255

What is the longest word in the Spanish language? Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllll

Score: 233

My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Really blind-sided everyone. Nobody expected the Spanish Acquisition.

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People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain Nobody ever expects the Spanish ink precision.

Score: 180

People are always amazed at the skilled tattoo artists in Spain. No one expects the Spanish ink precision

Score: 173

A cop pulled over a spanish photon... The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The photon said, "c."

Score: 160

Whenever I'm asked "What happened in 1492?", people are always surprised by my answer. Nobody expects "The Spanish Inquisition".

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In a huge lecture hall once I only had four international students turn up - English, French, Spanish and German. I asked if they could all see me. They said... Yes, Oui, Si, Ja

Score: 123

So my Spanish teacher told me to turn in my essay I told her I ain't no snitch

Score: 120

I saw a Spanish magician last night.. he said "uno, dos.." And then he disappeared without a tres

Score: 109

"Uno, dos..." And just like that, the Spanish magician was gone without a tres.

Score: 100

My 4-year-old nephew has been learning Spanish since lockdown. He can’t say ‘please’ which I think is poor for four

Score: 100

Tattoos People are amazed at how good the tattoo artists are in Spain........
They weren't expecting the Spanish ink precision

Score: 88

A Spanish magician was showing a trick.. "For my next trick, I'll disappear into thin air. Uno, dos."

And he vanished without a tres!

Score: 87

A blonde tells her friend "I completed a jigsaw puzzle in record time!"

"No way! How long did it take you?" Replied her friend

"6 months"

"That cannot be a record time!'

" Well the box said from 1 to 3 years"

Sorry for bad English, original was in Spanish

Score: 70

My friend is so rich He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician

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What do you call a spanish child molester? A Pedrophile.

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A spanish magician ... A spanish magician gets on stage and says "I will disappear in 3 seconds." He counts: "Uno, Dos." And he disappeared without a tres.

Score: 61

A Spanish, Greek and Portuguese man go to a bar. Who pays for the drinks? The German!

Score: 7

A manager was telling his Spanish waiter to put the cutlery on the trays. The waiter didn’t understand so the manager, becoming frustrated said “ON THOSE TRAYS” The waiter replied “no no no it’s uno dos tres”

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How does Milk introduce its self in Spanish? Soy Milk

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What do you call a Pakistani Prostitute in Spanish? LaHore

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What did the Spanish Monk say to break up with his girlfriend? No mas stay.

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I was at a restaurant that serves traditional Spanish food. I was shocked to see that they serve clamari, and with the squid's ink! No one expects the Spanish ink cuisine!

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Like Mexico winning a FIFA World Cup game against Germany... No body expected the Spanish inquisition

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A Spanish guy went to a concert in America. He was arrested for running onto the stage in the middle of a song. He told the police that he thought they wanted him up there because the drummer had shouted his name and then "Two, Three!" before a song.

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Four generations ago, my family left Puerto Rico to come to the mainland in hopes of finding a better life. Though they spoke little English, they learned enough to survive and provide for their families. I just dropped out of Spanish 102.

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Canadian joke my dad used to tell me, wanted to see if it translates well... Phillip: What did the Spanish priest say to the Iranian gynecologist?

Terrance: I don't know Phillip

Phillip: *Farts*

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New Spanish Jokes

My wife loves monty python, so when she said “there’s something unexpected waiting for you at home,” I got pretty excited Turns out, it wasn’t the Spanish Inquisition. It was divorce papers

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What's the spanish word for peeping tom? Pico de gallo

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french and spanish are opposites French be like: le hon hon hon


Mexicans be like: el noh noh noh

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What do you call a baby elephant in Spanish? El infant.

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The build up for a joke is everything The Spanish Inquisition

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Batmans unexpected Batman: presses center console on belt
Everyone: what cant his belt do
The guy watching Batman: He didn't expect the Spanish inquisition!

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What is soy milk in Spanish? Milk introducing itself in Spanish

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Where does a Spanish vampire live? A HUANted house.

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Mother in-law accidentally change the language of her TV to Spanish. She doesn’t know Spanish and could not figure out how to get it back into English. A light bulb popped into my Father in-laws head. He decided to go to Home Depot and hire some help.

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I went up to my Spanish teacher to ask him a question today. "Mr. Sylvando, does "Más o menos" mean kind of and something else?"

To which he replied:

"Yes, pretty much."

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I made the final table of an international poker tournament, but the Spainard kept unexpectedly stealing pots when he had the dealer button No one expects the Spanish in position

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What did the Spanish broadcaster say to the Sun when he caught the Sun cheating on the moon? I ain’t judging, but I gotta Telemundo.

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Europe has many dishes with potatoes The Brits boil them, the Spanish smoke them, the French fry them and the Germans gas them.

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Welcome to the meeting where we give away Spanish cars Please take a SEAT

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(Spanish) ¿Sabían que el pene puede ser hembra o macho? Si mide más de 15cm es un pene

Si mide menos es una pena

Sorry, this only works in Spanish

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Why does Trump love to talk about sport in Spanish? Because the Spanish for sport is "deporte".

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I’ve been vacationing in Miami for a few days and all of my Uber drivers have been immigrants from Spanish countries. As of right now, only Juan has signaled when changing lanes.

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I once took a Spanish class with someone who wanted to start a bilingual train company. Talk about a real loco motive.

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In America, what is the difference between optimists and pessimists? Optimists are learning Spanish, while pessimists are learning Arabic.

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(Spanish joke) Habia un hipopótamo en un zoológico se murió el martes de que se murió? Se murió de HIPOthermia

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What do you call someone who's really good at using the Spanish word for with? A con artist

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My Spanish teacher told me to name an object in Spanish... ...apparently "la mujer" was the wrong answer.

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Why did the Spanish kill off the Incans? Because they were an Incanvenience...

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The Spanish word for blue asked me out on a date and then stood me up. What an azul.

Score: 1

TIL the name of dinner in spanish and it's name is LA CENA!

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