People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football. Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
I think my family is racist
I've been nervous for weeks, but I finally decided to introduce them to my Spanish girlfriend
My kids refused to talk to her and my wife started crying and told me to pack my things
My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Everyone seemed surprised.
Nobody expects the Spanish Acquisition
My uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain
He come out late at night to ring people's doorbells.
Because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician
People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Madrid. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
My Spanish teacher taught me the word for "Transgender" I asked him if the word is masculine or feminine
What is the longest word in the Spanish language? Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllll
My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Really blind-sided everyone. Nobody expected the Spanish Acquisition.
People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain Nobody ever expects the Spanish ink precision.
People are always amazed at the skilled tattoo artists in Spain. No one expects the Spanish ink precision
A cop pulled over a spanish photon...
The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The photon said, "c."
Whenever I'm asked "What happened in 1492?", people are always surprised by my answer. Nobody expects "The Spanish Inquisition".
In a huge lecture hall once I only had four international students turn up - English, French, Spanish and German. I asked if they could all see me. They said... Yes, Oui, Si, Ja
I saw a Spanish magician last night.. he said "uno, dos.." And then he disappeared without a tres
People are amazed at how good the tattoo artists are in Spain........
They weren't expecting the Spanish ink precision
A Spanish magician was showing a trick..
"For my next trick, I'll disappear into thin air. Uno, dos."
And he vanished without a tres!
People never believe me when I tell them that I got my incredibly detailed tattoo in Spain. Nobody expects the spanish ink precision
Have you heard the story of the Spanish magician? He was on stage one day and said "Uno...dos..." and then he disappeared without a tres.
A blonde tells her friend
"I completed a jigsaw puzzle in record time!"
"No way! How long did it take you?" Replied her friend
"That cannot be a record time!'
" Well the box said from 1 to 3 years"
Sorry for bad English, original was in Spanish
A spanish magician ... A spanish magician gets on stage and says "I will disappear in 3 seconds." He counts: "Uno, Dos." And he disappeared without a tres.
A Spanish magician is at a party
He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, "uno, dos," POOF.
He disappeared without a tres.
I recently bought a copy of Monty Python's Big Red Book, but was later dismayed to find that I'd purchased the Spanish language version... Nobody expects the Spanish text edition.
A Spanish magician told the crowd he'll make himself vanish on the count of 3. He goes "Uno, dos... And *Poof*..... He disappeared without a tres.
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at soccer. Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
A Spanish magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3 He says uno, dos... then POOF, he disappears without a tres
I'd like to thank my Spanish teacher for spending so much time teaching me what mucho means It really means a lot
A Spanish greengrocer is 1.74 meters tall, has a waist circumference of 105 centimeters, and wears a size of 44. What does he weigh? Vegetables
What do English speakers yell when they're on a rollercoaster?
What do Spanish speakers yell when they're on a roller coaster?
french and spanish are opposites
French be like: le hon hon hon
Mexicans be like: el noh noh noh
Then the duck walked up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running, “hey” (bom bom bom) “you never expect the spanish inquisition“
The Duolingo Bird won’t get you I skip my spanish lessons every once in a while and I’m completely o
Mick Jagger and Keith Richards have a huge falling out after Mick refuses to stop talking in broken Spanish When asked for comment, Mick replied "The Rolling Stones gather no mas."
A Spanish Magician says he will count to 3 and disappear. "Uno, Dos" and he disappeared without a tres.
Did you hear its now illegal to be in possession of a ballpoint pen in Spain? That's the Spanish ink-position.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house... It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
I was going to make a joke about the Spanish capital...
... maybe about their football team.
But what's the point? The Real Madrid joke will be in the comments.
Spanish pigs say "oinc-oinc".
French pigs say "Oinque"
Japanese pigs say "Oinku"
American pigs say "STOP RESISTING"
My Spanish girlfriend wanted a better TV
So I arrived home and set it up.
Turns out she said Por Que instead of 4K.
The Spanish Magician
A Spanish magician says he will disappear on the count of 3.
"Uno, dos, poof."
He disappeared without a tres.
An Italian, an American and a Spanish guy walk into a bar Shouldn't have done that, now they all got corona
My Jamaican buddy is dating a Spanish chick. He doesn't like her granddad, Juan... But he does like Hernando.
People always ask me where I learnt my excellent penmanship, but never believe me when I tell them Spain. I guess nobody expects the Spanish Ink Precision.
Ha! You were expecting a well thought out Joke! But no... Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Donald Trump refers to the Coronavirus as the “Chinese Virus” because... ... he’s had enough of the Spanish Flu
In Barcelona, there's a common prank where spicy peppers are hidden inside kiwi fruits, and then the 'victim' is tricked into eating them Nobody expects the Spanish in-kiwi Sichuan
My wife said I was overconfident by transporting Spanish desserts in the center console of my car. I didn't care. But then the shift hit the flan.
A Spanish magician said he would disappear on the count of 3
And poof! He disappeared without a “tres”
A father was expecting a baby and waiting for the doctor to come out. Doctor came out and said it's the Spanish inquisition.
Is COVID-19 a retrovirus? ...because I hear that it has the same mortality rate as the Spanish Flu.
My work made me go on a training course where I had to lift some Spanish guys over and over It was a Manuel handling course
In a Spanish town, testicles of the bull are served in a restaurant the next day of a bullfight.
In the restaurant, a man orders testicles.He is surprised and asks ' Why are the testicles so small?'
The restaurant owner replies ' The bull won yesterday.'
What did the passive aggressive Spanish cheese say?
Sorry, heading to the gym and this is the best I can meunster.