My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning Spanish since lockdown. He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.
People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football. Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
I think my family is racist
I've been nervous for weeks, but I finally decided to introduce them to my Spanish girlfriend
My kids refused to talk to her and my wife started crying and told me to pack my things
My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Everyone seemed surprised.
Nobody expects the Spanish Acquisition
My uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain
He come out late at night to ring people's doorbells.
Because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician
People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Madrid. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
My Spanish teacher taught me the word for "Transgender" I asked him if the word is masculine or feminine
What is the longest word in the Spanish language? Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllll
My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Really blind-sided everyone. Nobody expected the Spanish Acquisition.
People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain Nobody ever expects the Spanish ink precision.
People are always amazed at the skilled tattoo artists in Spain. No one expects the Spanish ink precision
A cop pulled over a spanish photon...
The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The photon said, "c."
Whenever I'm asked "What happened in 1492?", people are always surprised by my answer. Nobody expects "The Spanish Inquisition".
In a huge lecture hall once I only had four international students turn up - English, French, Spanish and German. I asked if they could all see me. They said... Yes, Oui, Si, Ja
I saw a Spanish magician last night.. he said "uno, dos.." And then he disappeared without a tres
My 4-year-old nephew has been learning Spanish since lockdown. He can’t say ‘please’ which I think is poor for four
People are amazed at how good the tattoo artists are in Spain........
They weren't expecting the Spanish ink precision
A Spanish magician was showing a trick..
"For my next trick, I'll disappear into thin air. Uno, dos."
And he vanished without a tres!
People never believe me when I tell them that I got my incredibly detailed tattoo in Spain. Nobody expects the spanish ink precision
Have you heard the story of the Spanish magician? He was on stage one day and said "Uno...dos..." and then he disappeared without a tres.
A blonde tells her friend
"I completed a jigsaw puzzle in record time!"
"No way! How long did it take you?" Replied her friend
"That cannot be a record time!'
" Well the box said from 1 to 3 years"
Sorry for bad English, original was in Spanish
A spanish magician ... A spanish magician gets on stage and says "I will disappear in 3 seconds." He counts: "Uno, Dos." And he disappeared without a tres.
A Spanish magician is at a party
He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, "uno, dos," POOF.
He disappeared without a tres.
I recently bought a copy of Monty Python's Big Red Book, but was later dismayed to find that I'd purchased the Spanish language version... Nobody expects the Spanish text edition.
A Spanish magician told the crowd he'll make himself vanish on the count of 3. He goes "Uno, dos... And *Poof*..... He disappeared without a tres.
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at soccer. Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
A Spanish magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3 He says uno, dos... then POOF, he disappears without a tres
My neighbours 4yr old son has been learning Spanish during lockdown, but still can’t say please. Which I think is poor for four.
My mother in law is Spanish My mother in law is Spanish, so when we named our son 'Muchos' it really meant a lot to her.
"And for my final act," said the Spanish Magician, "I will DISAPPEAR! Uno, dos..." And he vanished without a tres.
I’ve been helping teach my 4 year old Spanish during lockdown And he doesn’t know the word for please, which I think is poor for four
A joke translated from Spanish that I heard in Guatemala
What are 3 things that testicles and Mormons have in common?
1. They always travel in pairs.
2. One is always bigger than the other.
3. They knock, but never enter.
In New York there are many tattoo artists from all over the world, but for some reason the artists from Spain have trouble getting business. Why? Because nobody expects the Spanish ink precision!
A spanish magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres
My dad told me this one
What do you call a Spanish soldier lying in a field?
*And his own addition he’s very proud of:*
What do you call 50 Spanish soldiers lying in a field?
My four year old nephew started learning Spanish during lockdown I asked him if he could tell me what the Spanish for please was and he couldn't, which I think is poor for four
A Spanish greengrocer is 1.74 meters tall, has a waist circumference of 105 centimeters, and wears a size of 44. What does he weigh? Vegetables
What do English speakers yell when they're on a rollercoaster?
What do Spanish speakers yell when they're on a roller coaster?
french and spanish are opposites
French be like: le hon hon hon
Mexicans be like: el noh noh noh
Then the duck walked up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running, “hey” (bom bom bom) “you never expect the spanish inquisition“
Mick Jagger and Keith Richards have a huge falling out after Mick refuses to stop talking in broken Spanish When asked for comment, Mick replied "The Rolling Stones gather no mas."
A Spanish Magician says he will count to 3 and disappear. "Uno, Dos" and he disappeared without a tres.
Did you hear its now illegal to be in possession of a ballpoint pen in Spain? That's the Spanish ink-position.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house... It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
I was going to make a joke about the Spanish capital...
... maybe about their football team.
But what's the point? The Real Madrid joke will be in the comments.
Spanish pigs say "oinc-oinc".
French pigs say "Oinque"
Japanese pigs say "Oinku"
American pigs say "STOP RESISTING"
My Spanish girlfriend wanted a better TV
So I arrived home and set it up.
Turns out she said Por Que instead of 4K.
The Spanish Magician
A Spanish magician says he will disappear on the count of 3.
"Uno, dos, poof."
He disappeared without a tres.
An Italian, an American and a Spanish guy walk into a bar Shouldn't have done that, now they all got corona
My Jamaican buddy is dating a Spanish chick. He doesn't like her granddad, Juan... But he does like Hernando.
People always ask me where I learnt my excellent penmanship, but never believe me when I tell them Spain. I guess nobody expects the Spanish Ink Precision.
Ha! You were expecting a well thought out Joke! But no... Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!