Spanish Jokes

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football. Nobody expects the Spanish in position.

Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice? The Spanish Inquisition.

If you see a Spanish person tell them "mucho" It means a lot to them

Who wears a red suit, and knows if you are naughty or nice? The Spanish Inquisition

I think my family is racist I've been nervous for weeks, but I finally decided to introduce them to my Spanish girlfriend

My kids refused to talk to her and my wife started crying and told me to pack my things

My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Everyone seemed surprised. Nobody expects the Spanish Acquisition


Edit: expects*

What do you call a group of confused Spanish speaking racists? The ¿Qué Qué Qué?

My uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain He come out late at night to ring people's doorbells.

Because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Madrid. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

Spanish Dad Joke Dad: Son what are you drinking?

Son: Soy Milk

Dad: Hola Milk, me llamo Dad

My Spanish teacher taught me the word for "Transgender" I asked him if the word is masculine or feminine

What is the longest word in the Spanish language? Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllll

My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Really blind-sided everyone. Nobody expected the Spanish Acquisition.

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain Nobody ever expects the Spanish ink precision.

People are always amazed at the skilled tattoo artists in Spain. No one expects the Spanish ink precision

A cop pulled over a spanish photon... The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The photon said, "c."

Whenever I'm asked "What happened in 1492?", people are always surprised by my answer. Nobody expects "The Spanish Inquisition".

In a huge lecture hall once I only had four international students turn up - English, French, Spanish and German. I asked if they could all see me. They said... Yes, Oui, Si, Ja

So my Spanish teacher told me to turn in my essay I told her I ain't no snitch

I saw a Spanish magician last night.. he said "uno, dos.." And then he disappeared without a tres

"Uno, dos..." And just like that, the Spanish magician was gone without a tres.

Tattoos People are amazed at how good the tattoo artists are in Spain........
They weren't expecting the Spanish ink precision

A Spanish magician was showing a trick.. "For my next trick, I'll disappear into thin air. Uno, dos."

And he vanished without a tres!

People never believe me when I tell them that I got my incredibly detailed tattoo in Spain. Nobody expects the spanish ink precision

Have you heard the story of the Spanish magician? He was on stage one day and said "Uno...dos..." and then he disappeared without a tres.

A blonde tells her friend "I completed a jigsaw puzzle in record time!"

"No way! How long did it take you?" Replied her friend

"6 months"

"That cannot be a record time!'

" Well the box said from 1 to 3 years"

Sorry for bad English, original was in Spanish

My friend is so rich He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician

What do you call a spanish child molester? A Pedrophile.

A spanish magician ... A spanish magician gets on stage and says "I will disappear in 3 seconds." He counts: "Uno, Dos." And he disappeared without a tres.

A Spanish magician is at a party He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, "uno, dos," POOF.

He disappeared without a tres.

I recently bought a copy of Monty Python's Big Red Book, but was later dismayed to find that I'd purchased the Spanish language version... Nobody expects the Spanish text edition.

A Spanish magician told the crowd he'll make himself vanish on the count of 3. He goes "Uno, dos... And *Poof*..... He disappeared without a tres.

I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at soccer. Nobody expects the Spanish in position.

A Spanish magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3 He says uno, dos... then POOF, he disappears without a tres

I'd like to thank my Spanish teacher for spending so much time teaching me what mucho means It really means a lot

My dad is moving to a Spanish city Ciudad

Who's red and knows whether you've been good or bad? The Spanish Inquisition

The Spanish magician So there's this Spanish magician right and he says "I'll make myself disappear on the count of three".
"Unos..... Dos...." *BANG!" in a cloud of smoke he disappeared without a Tres.