A hillbilly tells his parents he won't marry his fiance because she is a virgin. "If she isn't good enough for her own family, then she isn't good enough for ours!"
Why are even the best forensic teams unable to catch hillbilly criminals? Because they all share the same DNA and there are no dental records.
Did you hear about the hillbilly who was called to testify in court? When he spoke you could only see the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
How do you know when you're staying in a hillbilly hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink,"
and the clerk replies, "okay, Go ahead."
Coming Back as a Hillbilly
Q. What do you call it when you die and come back as a hillbilly?
A hillbilly girl tells her guy “How about we try reverse cowgirl tonight?” He replies “Hey! You never turn your back on family.”
Hillbilly murders are the hardest to solve They don’t have dental records and all their DNA is the same.
A Hillbilly joins the army
Next day while in training
General- Did you come here to die?
Hillbilly- No sir I came here yester-die
John gave his hillbilly cousin Billy a phonecard. "You can make calls with this ." John then went to get a drink. In the corner of his eye, he noticed Billy whispering frantically into the card: "Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?"
What’s the difference between a redneck and a hillbilly? A redneck will kill you but a hillbilly will keep you
What do a hillbilly and a nepotist blackberry executive have in common? They both give their relatives rim jobs.
The devil whispered in my ear you aren’t good enough, you’ll never amount to anything..... I whispered back, at least I didn’t lose my golden fiddle to some hillbilly in Georgia.
What do you call a hillbilly giraffe that lives in a trailer and drinks beer all day? A rednnnnnneeeeeeeccccccccckkkkkk.
A black man, a Mexican, a Muslim and a hillbilly are all playing Russian Roulette together. Who is guaranteed to win? Society.
What is a hillbillies favorite holiday?
Halloween, because they can pump kin.
Why doesn't a hillbilly boy have to memorize his name? It's tattooed on his mom's lower back.
A hillbilly invites his new neighbor to a party...
he says "there'll be a whole lotta drinkin', dancin', and screwin'..."
His neighbor asks if he can bring anything.
Hillbilly says, "you can bring anything you want, just goin' be me and you..."
*credit to "Mad Men"*
There are two kinds of Hillbilly women. Those who get married and have a lot of kids.... ....and those who are a single and have a lot of kids.
Why didn’t the hillbilly want to do reverse cowgirl Because they never turn their backs on family
Two hillbillies walking home from bar…
come across a stray dog licking himself on the corner of an alley.
First hillbilly “wish I could do that”
Second hillbilly with no hesitation “ YOU BEST PET HIM FIRST”
Two hillbilly sisters are fighting about who is better
They ask their dad.
"Daddy who's your favorite daughter?"
The father looks at both of them, "Your mother."