St Patrick's Day Jokes

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Funniest St Patrick's Day Jokes

What's the difference between St Patrick's day and Martin Luther King day? Everyone wants to be Irish on St Patrick's day..

What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr Day and St Patrick's Day? On St Patrick's Day everyone wants to be Irish.

What's the difference between St Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? On St. Paddy's Day everyone wants to be Irish.

In honour of St Patrick's day, can you guess my Irish name? Pat MiGroin.

Yeah, my grandpa just told me that one...some visual images cannot be unseen.

A joke for St Patrick's Day. "An Irishman walks out of a bar." Well, theoretically, it could happen...

What's the difference between mlk day and st. Patrick's day? Everyone WANTS to be irish on st Patrick's day.

What's the difference between MLK day and St Patrick's day? Nobody minds being Irish for one day!!!!

People tomorrow on St Patrick's Day are gonna be like elbow bump me, I'm Irish!

What's the difference between St Patrick's Day and Cinco De Mayo? Everyone is proud to be Irish on St Paddy's day

I'm so proud of my mother-in-law We were sitting down to our St Patrick's day dinner. And I announced, "I took extra pickles, so Dill with it." I thought I was clever but she did me one better. She smiled sweetly and said, "That's ok. Today I'm Dublin everything!"

Remember it's St Patrick's day today, try and stand out from the crowd... ... wear all orange, it's also an Irish color

Funny St Patrick's Day Jokes

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Long St Patrick's Day Jokes

Drunk Irishman

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. 'Damn' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face,


'Damn, 'Damn !'

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

'By'Jeebers.... I'm a little crocked,' he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No damn' way'. He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face He says ' Damn it ' and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ?'

Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was really crocked But how'd you know?'

'Mick phoned . . . you left your wheelchair at the pub.'

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day.

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. 'Damn' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face.


'Damn, 'Damn !'

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

'By'Jeebers.... I'm a little crocked,' he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No damn' way'. He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face He says ' Damn it ' and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ?'

Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was really crocked But how'd you know?'

'Mick phoned . . . you left your wheelchair at the pub.'

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