Cookie Jokes

Contents

Funniest Cookie Jokes

A banker, a worker and an immigrant An immigrant, a worker and a banker are sitting at the table with 10 cookies. The banker takes 9 and then tells the worker "watch out, the immigrant is going to steal your cookie".

Score: 930
Funny Cookie Jokes
Score: 412

How do you make a gingerbread man’s bed? With a cookie sheet.

Direct from the lips of my 4yo daughter. I almost died laughing. I was expecting something ridiculous.

Score: 276

After having Chinese food, my cookie was missing the piece of paper on the inside! It was unfortunate.

Score: 144

Why did the Oreo cookie go to the dentist? Because he lost his filling.

Score: 87

Why was 5 a good lover? Because he waited 4 3 2 come 1st.


_____

Follow up:

Q: "Funny. But really, how good was the 6 4 5?"
A: "Just average, but the 6 was only a 5 4 3 2."

______


^^^\( ^^^I ^^^made ^^^this ^^^up ^^^give ^^^me ^^^a ^^^cookie. ^^^)

Score: 58

Today a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance Long story short, my girlfriend said no.

Score: 57

What do you call a cardboard belt? A waist of paper.

--

^(Credit: Shadow Warrior fortune cookie)

Score: 53

I ate too much cookie dough and got sick It was an overdoughse.

Score: 37

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? He was feeling crummy

Score: 35

I'd love to give the man who invented Incognito mode a cookie. Sadly it was erased.

Score: 34

What's Cookie Monsters favourite band? Oreo Speedwagon.

Score: 23

Why did the cookie need to see a doctor? Well, he was feeling kind of crummy.

Score: 21

Why was the baby cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer so long

Score: 21

What is cookie monsters favorite war? Vietnom nom nom nom

Score: 21

A man on his death bed A man on his death bed smells cookies, gets up and walks into his kitchen. He asks his wife if he can have a cookie. The wife tells him to get out of here, those are for the wake

Score: 20

I just open a fortune cookie that had no paper inside... ...it was unfortunate.

Score: 19

Today I had a fortune cookie that had no fortune inside... ...it was very unfortunate.

Score: 15

Why was the cookie so sad? Because his mother was a wafer so long.

Score: 15

Fortune cookie: "Every exit can be an entry" Long story short:
My girlfriens said no...

Score: 13

What is a cannibals favorite type of cookie? Lady fingers.

Score: 13

Why was the cookie crying? Because his dad was a wafer so long

Score: 13

If you give a developer a cookie... they'll tell you why it's really better to use local storage.

Score: 12

What's the smartest cookie? Academia nut

Score: 12

I got an empty fortune cookie the other day. It was unfortunate.

Score: 10

What does a Japanese bakery thief say? "I Tokyo cookie."

Score: 10

Why was the cookie crying? Because it's mom was a wafer so long.

Score: 9

I found some good cookie recipes with weed the other day. Then I was like, "That's a weird place to keep cookie recipes".

Score: 9

I was in class today and asked a friend if I could have a bite of her cookie... She took the napkin it was on, folded it over to gather all the crumbs, counted out 8 crumbs, handed them over and said,

"no, but you can have 8 bits."

Score: 8

What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.



The real joke is that this is what my fortune cookie said.

Score: 8

What did the cookie farmer say? "I've been raisin' cookies."

Score: 6

I once received a fortune cookie of which the fortune was immediately fulfilled... "You will have a weak dessert"

Score: 6

My manager asked me if I had prepared my report on how to cut costs at our cookie factory... Thinking quickly, I told him that we could save money by not fully cooking all our cookies.
It was a half-baked idea, but it turned out to save us a lot of dough.

Score: 6

The other day I got a fortune cookie with no fortune in it, you know what I call that? I call that unfortunate.

Score: 5

Why was the cookie afraid of getting drug tested? Because it was so baked

Score: 5

how did Cookie Monster decide who'd win the oscars? he went through all the nom-nom-nominations.

Score: 5

My fortune cookie was spot on. It said, You will soon let go of a small piece of paper.

Score: 4

Why did the cookie get fired from his job? He came to work baked.

Score: 4

What's green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car.

Score: 4

What do you call a cookie in a wheel chair. Limp biscuit

Score: 3

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New Cookie Jokes

I got some Chinese takeout. After the meal, the cookie was empty. That was unfortunate.

Score: 0

How does the Cookie Monster pay for his cookies? With Cookie Dough.

Score: 2

A fortune cookie told me I would soon be making a change for the better, It’s amazing how it knew I was suicidal.

Score: 1

What do you call Cookie Monster's girlfriend? A crumb dumpster.

Score: 2

What's an African with a white belt? An Oreo cookie.

Score: 2

What happens when you bang a cookie on a table? It chips.

Score: 2

Why did the cookie visit the doctor’s office? because he was feeling a little crummy!

Score: 2

I tried making a small triangle out of paper... It looked more like a fortune cookie

That was unfortunate.

Score: 1

What is hard and dry before it gets in, and comes out soft and dripping? A cookie in your tea, you pervert!

Score: 1

Why can cookie dough never keep a job? It's always getting baked

Score: 1

What is the only Dessert allowed in North Korea? Smart Cookie.

Score: 1

What kind of cookie is awkward and unprofessional to bring to a business meeting? A snickerdoodle

Score: 1

This Girl Scout Cookie diet is really paying off... ...now I've got that "Samoan" figure

Score: 2

What are eight small pieces of cookie the equivalent of? One byte

Score: 1

What do you call a charitable cookie container? A good samoa-tin

Score: 1

A man got a fortune cookie without a fortune.... ... well that's unfortunate

Score: 1

Four girlscout cookie boxes down in a day and I realized I have a problem ... I'm running out of cookies.

Score: 0

What did the cookie say to the cracker? You feeling salty bro?

Score: 2

Elliot Ness, Cookie Monster, and John Locke start a law firm. Locke Ness Monster.

Score: 2

Why did the cookie visit the doctor? He was feeling a little crummy.

Score: 2

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