Cookie Jokes

A banker, a worker and an immigrant An immigrant, a worker and a banker are sitting at the table with 10 cookies. The banker takes 9 and then tells the worker "watch out, the immigrant is going to steal your cookie".

How do you make a gingerbread man’s bed? With a cookie sheet.

Direct from the lips of my 4yo daughter. I almost died laughing. I was expecting something ridiculous.

After having Chinese food, my cookie was missing the piece of paper on the inside! It was unfortunate.

Why did the Oreo cookie go to the dentist? Because he lost his filling.

Why was 5 a good lover? Because he waited 4 3 2 come 1st.


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Follow up:

Q: "Funny. But really, how good was the 6 4 5?"
A: "Just average, but the 6 was only a 5 4 3 2."

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^^^\( ^^^I ^^^made ^^^this ^^^up ^^^give ^^^me ^^^a ^^^cookie. ^^^)

Today a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance Long story short, my girlfriend said no.

What do you call a cardboard belt? A waist of paper.

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^(Credit: Shadow Warrior fortune cookie)

I ate too much cookie dough and got sick It was an overdoughse.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? He was feeling crummy

I'd love to give the man who invented Incognito mode a cookie. Sadly it was erased.

What's Cookie Monsters favourite band? Oreo Speedwagon.

What is cookie monsters favorite war? Vietnom nom nom nom

Why did the cookie need to see a doctor? Well, he was feeling kind of crummy.

Why was the baby cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer so long

A man on his death bed A man on his death bed smells cookies, gets up and walks into his kitchen. He asks his wife if he can have a cookie. The wife tells him to get out of here, those are for the wake

I just open a fortune cookie that had no paper inside... ...it was unfortunate.

Today I had a fortune cookie that had no fortune inside... ...it was very unfortunate.

Why was the cookie so sad? Because his mother was a wafer so long.

Fortune cookie: "Every exit can be an entry" Long story short:
My girlfriens said no...

What is a cannibals favorite type of cookie? Lady fingers.

Why was the cookie crying? Because his dad was a wafer so long

If you give a developer a cookie... they'll tell you why it's really better to use local storage.

What's the smartest cookie? Academia nut

I got an empty fortune cookie the other day. It was unfortunate.

What does a Japanese bakery thief say? "I Tokyo cookie."

Why was the cookie crying? Because it's mom was a wafer so long.

I found some good cookie recipes with weed the other day. Then I was like, "That's a weird place to keep cookie recipes".

I was in class today and asked a friend if I could have a bite of her cookie... She took the napkin it was on, folded it over to gather all the crumbs, counted out 8 crumbs, handed them over and said,

"no, but you can have 8 bits."

What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.



The real joke is that this is what my fortune cookie said.

What happens if you mix sesame street and Star Wars? Cookie Wookies.
X-post /r/showerthoughts

I once received a fortune cookie of which the fortune was immediately fulfilled... "You will have a weak dessert"

A businessman, a worker, and a mexican are sitting around a table with 3 cookies on it The businessman takes 2 and says to the worker, "Watch out, that mexican is gonna steal your cookie."

The other day I got a fortune cookie with no fortune in it, you know what I call that? I call that unfortunate.

how did Cookie Monster decide who'd win the oscars? he went through all the nom-nom-nominations.

What are Wolverine's favorite type of cookie? SNIKT-doodles

Why was the cookie afraid of getting drug tested? Because it was so baked

My fortune cookie was spot on. It said, You will soon let go of a small piece of paper.

If Cookie Monster was going to eat a country, what country would he eat? Viet-nom-nom-nom-nom

Why did the cookie get fired from his job? He came to work baked.