A banker, a worker and an immigrant An immigrant, a worker and a banker are sitting at the table with 10 cookies. The banker takes 9 and then tells the worker "watch out, the immigrant is going to steal your cookie".
How do you make a gingerbread man’s bed?
With a cookie sheet.
Direct from the lips of my 4yo daughter. I almost died laughing. I was expecting something ridiculous.
After having Chinese food, my cookie was missing the piece of paper on the inside! It was unfortunate.
Why did the Oreo cookie go to the dentist? Because he lost his filling.
Why was 5 a good lover?
Because he waited 4 3 2 come 1st.
Q: "Funny. But really, how good was the 6 4 5?"
A: "Just average, but the 6 was only a 5 4 3 2."
^^^\( ^^^I ^^^made ^^^this ^^^up ^^^give ^^^me ^^^a ^^^cookie. ^^^)
Today a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance Long story short, my girlfriend said no.
What do you call a cardboard belt?
A waist of paper.
^(Credit: Shadow Warrior fortune cookie)
I ate too much cookie dough and got sick It was an overdoughse.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? He was feeling crummy
I'd love to give the man who invented Incognito mode a cookie. Sadly it was erased.
What's Cookie Monsters favourite band? Oreo Speedwagon.
Why did the cookie need to see a doctor? Well, he was feeling kind of crummy.
Why was the baby cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer so long
What is cookie monsters favorite war? Vietnom nom nom nom
A man on his death bed A man on his death bed smells cookies, gets up and walks into his kitchen. He asks his wife if he can have a cookie. The wife tells him to get out of here, those are for the wake
I just open a fortune cookie that had no paper inside... ...it was unfortunate.
Today I had a fortune cookie that had no fortune inside... ...it was very unfortunate.
Why was the cookie so sad? Because his mother was a wafer so long.
Fortune cookie: "Every exit can be an entry"
Long story short:
My girlfriens said no...
What is a cannibals favorite type of cookie? Lady fingers.
Why was the cookie crying? Because his dad was a wafer so long
If you give a developer a cookie... they'll tell you why it's really better to use local storage.
What's the smartest cookie? Academia nut
I got an empty fortune cookie the other day. It was unfortunate.
What does a Japanese bakery thief say? "I Tokyo cookie."
Why was the cookie crying? Because it's mom was a wafer so long.
I found some good cookie recipes with weed the other day. Then I was like, "That's a weird place to keep cookie recipes".
I was in class today and asked a friend if I could have a bite of her cookie...
She took the napkin it was on, folded it over to gather all the crumbs, counted out 8 crumbs, handed them over and said,
"no, but you can have 8 bits."
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
The real joke is that this is what my fortune cookie said.
What did the cookie farmer say? "I've been raisin' cookies."
I once received a fortune cookie of which the fortune was immediately fulfilled... "You will have a weak dessert"
My manager asked me if I had prepared my report on how to cut costs at our cookie factory...
Thinking quickly, I told him that we could save money by not fully cooking all our cookies.
It was a half-baked idea, but it turned out to save us a lot of dough.
The other day I got a fortune cookie with no fortune in it, you know what I call that? I call that unfortunate.
Why was the cookie afraid of getting drug tested? Because it was so baked
how did Cookie Monster decide who'd win the oscars? he went through all the nom-nom-nominations.
My fortune cookie was spot on. It said, You will soon let go of a small piece of paper.
Why did the cookie get fired from his job? He came to work baked.
What's green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car.
What do you call a cookie in a wheel chair. Limp biscuit
I got some Chinese takeout. After the meal, the cookie was empty. That was unfortunate.
How does the Cookie Monster pay for his cookies? With Cookie Dough.
A fortune cookie told me I would soon be making a change for the better, It’s amazing how it knew I was suicidal.
What do you call Cookie Monster's girlfriend? A crumb dumpster.
What's an African with a white belt? An Oreo cookie.
What happens when you bang a cookie on a table? It chips.
Why did the cookie visit the doctor’s office? because he was feeling a little crummy!
I tried making a small triangle out of paper...
It looked more like a fortune cookie
That was unfortunate.
What is hard and dry before it gets in, and comes out soft and dripping? A cookie in your tea, you pervert!
Why can cookie dough never keep a job? It's always getting baked
What is the only Dessert allowed in North Korea? Smart Cookie.
What kind of cookie is awkward and unprofessional to bring to a business meeting? A snickerdoodle
This Girl Scout Cookie diet is really paying off... ...now I've got that "Samoan" figure
What are eight small pieces of cookie the equivalent of? One byte
What do you call a charitable cookie container? A good samoa-tin
A man got a fortune cookie without a fortune.... ... well that's unfortunate
Four girlscout cookie boxes down in a day and I realized I have a problem ... I'm running out of cookies.
What did the cookie say to the cracker? You feeling salty bro?
Elliot Ness, Cookie Monster, and John Locke start a law firm. Locke Ness Monster.
Why did the cookie visit the doctor? He was feeling a little crummy.