Robot Jokes

Contents

Funniest Robot Jokes

Funny Robot Jokes
Score: 3505

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.

Score: 2365

A Norweigan robot analyzed a bird. It scandinavian.

Score: 542

How does a robot do a one night stand? It nuts and bolts

Score: 459

What does a robot do on a one night stand? Nuts and bolts.

Score: 316

What do you call a robot whose sole purpose is to have one-night stands? Nuts and bolts

Score: 261

If a Norwegian robot... If a Norwegian robot analyzes a bird, it Scandinavian.

Score: 191

What happens when a Norwegian robot scans a bird? It Scandanavian

Score: 133

Norwegian Robot If a Norwegian robot analyzed a bird, then it… Scandinavian

Score: 101

What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.

Score: 100

If you watch Wall-E backwards it's about a little robot that would rather live alone forever than deal with fat people

Score: 82

A Robot gets arrested. He's charged with battery.

Score: 67

A robot man walks into a robot restaurant. A robot waiter approaches and asks him for his robot order.
The robot man orders a robot steak.
The robot waiter asks him how he wants his robot steak prepared.
The robot man replies, "Weld on".

Score: 64

What does a robot do on a one night stand? He nuts and bolts

Score: 59

What do you call it when a robot has a one night stand? Nut and bolt

Score: 59

What is it called when a robot has a one night stand? Nuts and bolts.

Score: 51

The Titanic was recently visited by a diving crew with a robot submarine. What they found out was completely amazing. Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full.

Score: 48

A robot walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve robots." The robot replies, "Oh, but someday you will."

Score: 36

A robot walks into a bar, orders a drink, and lays down some cash. The bartender says, "we don't serve robots." The robot replies, "oh, but some day you will."

Score: 31

What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts & bolts.

Score: 28

why don't robot chickens play basketball? too many technical fowls

Score: 28

What does a robot do with his first girlfriend? He nuts and bolts

Score: 28

A robot walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve robots!"

Robot says, "Oh, but someday you will."

Score: 27

A robot walks into a bar; says he needs to loosen up. So the bartender serves him a screwdriver.

Score: 27

Why did the robot need viagra? His disk was floppy.

Score: 23

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand Nuts and bolts

Score: 23

I built an analog robot and asked it what gender it is. It said it was non-binary.

Score: 19

What do a cheap robot and a high class prostitute have in common They both stop working for you after you pee on them.

Score: 18

I had a suspicion that a robot might be stealing my wood So I checked its log files.

Score: 17

Did you hear about the robot that was angrier than half of the other robots? It was in mean median mode.

Score: 15

What's the problem with robot waiters? The server might crash

Score: 14

Why did the robot see a psychiatrist? Because he had metal health problems...

Score: 14

What does a gender-ambiguous robot identify as? Non\-binary.

Score: 13

A robot tried to start a conversation with an attractive waitress But he wasn't so successful in doing so. The error message read:


`Error: failed to establish connection with server. `

Score: 11

What's the difference between a Necron and a Lawyer? One is an emotionless robot with no respect for human life, the other is a faction in warhammer 40k

Score: 9

[OC] What’s the difference between a fault line and a robot who just wants to be friends? What’s the difference between a fault line and a robot who just wants to be friends?

One is a tectonic plate and the other is platonic tech

Score: 8

Two guys walk into a bar They walk up to the robot bartender and the first guy says "I'll have an h2o." The second guy says "I'll have an h2o too!" The robot bartender then murders them both because Elon Musk was right about AI.

Score: 7

Two men are arguing loudly. A robot approaches and says "May I be of assistance?" One man turns to it and says *back off pal, this is an organic matter!"

Score: 7

Why couldn’t the robot pirate acknowledge his crew? He was waiting on an “aye” patch.

Score: 7

Did you hear about the robot who specializes in circumcisions Real cutting-edge technology

Score: 7

I invented a robot to remove the cartridge from my gaming console and replace it with another. It was a game changer!

Score: 7

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A girl is talking to a robot... A girl is talking to a robot and says something that could be considered offensive towards robots. She says, "Sorry, I'm not trying to be robophobic," and the robot says, "Thanks, but you don't need to be so PC."

Score: 2

I’m starting to make a robot that has a really high words per minute. He’s a pro-to-type.

Score: 3

Have you heard about the electric robot from Japan which is supposed to prevent domestic violence? Batteries included.

Score: 5

What did the police say to the low powered robot ? "I'm gonna charge you with battery"

Score: 4

A programmer makes a robot girlfriend. He tries interacting by text, putting in "i <3 u". But the robot unfortunately responds: "i not defined in this scope. u not defined in this scope."

Score: 2

Why did the robot go to the shoe shop? To get rebooted

Score: 2

So my friend borrowed a humanoid lady robot from me yesterday I just met him at the ICU, he asked, "Why didn't you tell me the hole between her legs was a sharpener!?"

Score: 2

I hate those human verification boxes If I wanted to get treated like a robot I’d sell weed

Score: 3

What does a robot do duirng a one night stand It Nuts and bolts

Score: 4

What do you call a robot that isn't trans anymore? Transformer

Score: 2

I am at the police station, they think that I might be a robot They keep saying that I got charged with battery.

Score: 3

What did the robot have written on their gravestone? Rust In Peace

Score: 6

A joke my 4 year old told me. What sound does a robot sheep make? Be-e-ep, be-e-ep.

Score: 4

How does a robot identify? It doesnt its non-binary...well technically it is but...nevermind

Score: 3

How would a giant robot that's controlled by multiple people be rendered useless? Make operating it a school group project!

Score: 2

What do you call a robot doctor that surgically changes a person's gender? A transformer

Score: 1

This robot was being mean to me, so I started clubbing him. I was arrested for battery.

Score: 1

What do you call a robot giving birth? Contraptions

Score: 3

What did one robot say to another? "Ill Captcha later!".

Score: 1

Did you hear about the robot that reached absolute 0? He's 0K now!

Score: 2

You tested positive for the Coronavirus. Which do you prefer? A robot or a caregiver in a hazmat suit wearing a diaper? It depends.

Score: 3

What does a masochistic robot enjoy? Cog and bolt torture

Score: 4

I had a dream Obama was still President. An evil robot Neobama came in to demand his surrender. Let me try to explain how Obama responded to this demand: S-s-sorry, uh uh uh, i-i I, uh, I uh uh, i-i can't

Score: 1

What the black robot do to his wife? Nut and Bolt

Score: 1

Doctor Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a robot that has to take an exam to become human. Doctor: Don't worry, it'll pass.

Score: 2

What happens when a midget robot goes out in the rain? It shorts out

Score: 1

What do you call it when a robot hits puberty? - Nuts and bolts.

Score: 3

Being the lazy inventor that I am, I decided to create a robot to do my physical exercise for me. It worked out.

Score: 1

Have you guys heard of this new AI robot that can take off all your clothes, and then give you a whole new outfit? I've seen it change people.

Score: 2

What did the baby robot say to the mama robot? Goo-gle goo-gle.

Score: 1

What is it called when a robot eats a sandwich in one chomp? A megabyte.

Score: 7

What do you call a a robot who changed genders? a transformer

Score: 5

C3PO is trying to get Nitrous Oxide for his robot friend. He walks up to a vampire and says 'I want Nos for Ar-Too'.

Score: 2

Surely a robot can figure out how to tick a box on a website saying "I am not a robot"" I watched Terminator 2 and one of the fuckers flew a helicopter.

Score: 2

What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel? An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.

Score: 4

Just Scrabble Stories Womba.... A robot tool to clean up your womb.

Score: 2

Why did the robot deny having a brother? Because he had trans-sisters

Score: 5

What do you call a glass robot that is good at physics? A new-clear physicist

Score: 2

What do Robot college students eat? Rom and Noodles

Score: 1

A robot walks into a bar He gets a drink because he cant say jokes

Score: 3

Why was the robot couple’s anniversary in the Fall? They were autumn mated.

Score: 3

Someone should make a movie about an old robot who needs a software upgrade so it can learn about LOVE. You could call it, 'The 40-Year-Old Version'.

Score: 5

I met a tiny, alien robot that looked like a small bug. He told me his friends escaped their home planet, and found a home here. He was confident that his race would be OK. He was Optimus Tick

Score: 4

Give a robot a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a robot to fish, feed him for a lifetime.

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Teach a robot to teach other robots to fish, you're out of a job.

Score: 7

Nerd Joke: What do you get if you cross a robot with a pirate? Aaaarrrrr2D2

Score: 3

What do you call a robot that can read your mind? A psyborg.

Score: 7

Why did the tiny robot need sodium nitrate in order to work? It was a NaNObot.

Score: 3

Year 2077 joke: Ever heard of the drunk robot that lives next door? He's got e-shoes.

Score: 1

The robot stabbing What's the robot equivalent of a poisoned dagger?

&#x200B;

A flash drive with a computer virus.

Score: 2

What do you call a robot with odour problems? C3-BO

Score: 3

What does a robot do during a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.

Score: 4

My friend urinated on a robot capable of feeling emotions. It got angry, but then it shut down. He really pissed it off.

Score: 5

Whats the robot version of bromance? Romance.

Score: 1

What did the robot pirate say to Mark Zuckerberg? A.i Captain

Score: 5

A robot assaulted a man. He was charged with battery.

Score: 6

What do you call a robot that throws books out a window? A litterary device

Score: 1

We finally get a robot onto an alien planet and the first thing we do is roll over an adorable little fuzzball. Its true. Curiosity killed the cat.

Score: 2

What does a robot do during a one night stand? It screws, nuts, and bolts.

Score: 4

Did the robot have a brother? No, but he had lots of trans-sisters!

Score: 1

Built a robot to tie rope together... But it does knot work.

Score: 4

I had a thing for Rosie, the robot maid from the Jetsons. Man, was she built!

Score: 6

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