Robot Jokes

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Funniest Robot Jokes

Funny Robot Jokes
Score: 3505

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.

Score: 2365

A Norweigan robot analyzed a bird. It scandinavian.

Score: 542

How does a robot do a one night stand? It nuts and bolts

Score: 459

What does a robot do on a one night stand? Nuts and bolts.

Score: 316

What do you call a one night stand with a robot? Nut and bolt

Score: 283

What do you call a robot whose sole purpose is to have one-night stands? Nuts and bolts

Score: 261

If a Norwegian robot... If a Norwegian robot analyzes a bird, it Scandinavian.

Score: 191

What happens when a Norwegian robot scans a bird? It Scandanavian

Score: 133

Norwegian Robot If a Norwegian robot analyzed a bird, then it… Scandinavian

Score: 101

What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.

Score: 100

A Robot gets arrested. He's charged with battery.

Score: 67

A robot man walks into a robot restaurant. A robot waiter approaches and asks him for his robot order.
The robot man orders a robot steak.
The robot waiter asks him how he wants his robot steak prepared.
The robot man replies, "Weld on".

Score: 64

What does a robot do on a one night stand? He nuts and bolts

Score: 59

What do you call it when a robot has a one night stand? Nut and bolt

Score: 59

What is it called when a robot has a one night stand? Nuts and bolts.

Score: 51

The Titanic was recently visited by a diving crew with a robot submarine. What they found out was completely amazing. Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full.

Score: 48

What do you call a sad robot? A woebot. :(

Score: 36

A robot walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve robots." The robot replies, "Oh, but someday you will."

Score: 36

A robot walks into a bar, orders a drink, and lays down some cash. The bartender says, "we don't serve robots." The robot replies, "oh, but some day you will."

Score: 31

What do you call a depressed robot? A sigh borg.

Score: 29

why don't robot chickens play basketball? too many technical fowls

Score: 28

What does a robot do with his first girlfriend? He nuts and bolts

Score: 28

What do you call a group of muslims that turn into a giant robot? A mecca

Score: 28

What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts & bolts.

Score: 28

A robot walks into a bar; says he needs to loosen up. So the bartender serves him a screwdriver.

Score: 27

A robot walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve robots!"

Robot says, "Oh, but someday you will."

Score: 27

What do you call a sexually harassed robot? R2#metoo

Score: 24

Why couldn't Marco Rubio register on a web forum? The website required him to prove that he is not a robot.

Score: 22

I built an analog robot and asked it what gender it is. It said it was non-binary.

Score: 19

I had a suspicion that a robot might be stealing my wood So I checked its log files.

Score: 17

Why did the robot see a psychiatrist? Because he had metal health problems...

Score: 14

What's the problem with robot waiters? The server might crash

Score: 14

What do you call an LGBT robot? A *Trans*former

Score: 10

2005: One day computers will be so good that you will have to prove you aren’t a robot. 2017: One day computers will be so good that you won’t have to prove that you are a robot.

Score: 8

Two men are arguing loudly. A robot approaches and says "May I be of assistance?" One man turns to it and says *back off pal, this is an organic matter!"

Score: 7

Two guys walk into a bar They walk up to the robot bartender and the first guy says "I'll have an h2o." The second guy says "I'll have an h2o too!" The robot bartender then murders them both because Elon Musk was right about AI.

Score: 7

Why did the robot kill someone with its empty battery? So it would get charged with murder.

Score: 6

Why is Ricky the Robot a bad lover? Shortly after he sticks it in, he nuts and bolts.

Score: 6

What do you call a a robot who changed genders? a transformer

Score: 5

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New Robot Jokes

This robot was being mean to me, so I started clubbing him. I was arrested for battery.

Score: 1

Doctor Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a robot that has to take an exam to become human. Doctor: Don't worry, it'll pass.

Score: 2

What do Robot college students eat? Rom and Noodles

Score: 1

Built a robot to tie rope together... But it does knot work.

Score: 4

What do you call a robot coke head? A ma-Sheen.

Score: 1

A hobbyist robot builder attempted to satirize the American public by building a 300 pound hunk of metal that sat in front of the TV all day long. In the end, he had difficult maintaining it, because it didn't work out.

Score: 2

What's the robot version of just the tip? Just the first thread.

Score: 1

I think my mother might have robot hands. I was talking to my neighbour and he said, "Man, your mum's amazing. She can bust a nut with a flick of her wrist."

Score: 4

What Do You Call a Disappointed Human/Robot Hybrid? A Sigh-borg.

Score: 1

A robot steals your job. It hurts, but that's how the economy works. Nothing personal. The robot starts texting your wife...

Score: 1

What does a robot do at a one night stand? He *nuts* and *bolts*!

Score: 2

What did the lady robot use when she got her period? An iPad.

Score: 3

What's Donald Trump's favorite robot? Wall-E

Score: 3

Hey, I'm a robot Dad. You can call me Al Al Uminium

Happy Father's Day! :)

Score: 1

What metal does a Japanese robot consist mostly of? *Manga*nese

Score: 1

What's the difference between a deadbeat dad and a robot? One nuts and bolts and the other is nuts and bolts.

Score: 2

What do you call a robot that looks like Tom Cruise? An Automatom

Score: 2

What's a robot's favorite soda to drink? Mountain Dew LiveWire.

Score: 2

Why did the robot get the electric chair? He was charged with battery.

Score: 3

I tried to make a robot that ate watches... but it was too time-consuming.

Score: 4

Why did the SJW hate the Mexican robot? Because it was Pablo-matic

Score: 2

What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress? A gender bender Bender fender bender.

Score: 2

What do you call a cross dressed robot? Android-gynous

Score: 1

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