If you watch Wall-E backwards it's about a little robot that would rather live alone forever than deal with fat people
A robot man walks into a robot restaurant.
A robot waiter approaches and asks him for his robot order.
The robot man orders a robot steak.
The robot waiter asks him how he wants his robot steak prepared.
The robot man replies, "Weld on".
The Titanic was recently visited by a diving crew with a robot submarine. What they found out was completely amazing. Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full.
A robot walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve robots." The robot replies, "Oh, but someday you will."
A robot walks into a bar, orders a drink, and lays down some cash. The bartender says, "we don't serve robots." The robot replies, "oh, but some day you will."
A robot walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve robots!"
Robot says, "Oh, but someday you will."
A robot walks into a bar; says he needs to loosen up. So the bartender serves him a screwdriver.
What do a cheap robot and a high class prostitute have in common They both stop working for you after you pee on them.
Did you hear about the robot that was angrier than half of the other robots? It was in mean median mode.
A robot tried to start a conversation with an attractive waitress
But he wasn't so successful in doing so. The error message read:
`Error: failed to establish connection with server. `
What's the difference between a Necron and a Lawyer? One is an emotionless robot with no respect for human life, the other is a faction in warhammer 40k
[OC] What’s the difference between a fault line and a robot who just wants to be friends?
What’s the difference between a fault line and a robot who just wants to be friends?
One is a tectonic plate and the other is platonic tech
Two guys walk into a bar They walk up to the robot bartender and the first guy says "I'll have an h2o." The second guy says "I'll have an h2o too!" The robot bartender then murders them both because Elon Musk was right about AI.
Two men are arguing loudly. A robot approaches and says "May I be of assistance?" One man turns to it and says *back off pal, this is an organic matter!"
You tested positive for the Coronavirus. Which do you prefer? A robot or a caregiver in a hazmat suit wearing a diaper? It depends.
I had a dream Obama was still President. An evil robot Neobama came in to demand his surrender. Let me try to explain how Obama responded to this demand: S-s-sorry, uh uh uh, i-i I, uh, I uh uh, i-i can't
Doctor Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a robot that has to take an exam to become human. Doctor: Don't worry, it'll pass.
Being the lazy inventor that I am, I decided to create a robot to do my physical exercise for me. It worked out.
Have you guys heard of this new AI robot that can take off all your clothes, and then give you a whole new outfit? I've seen it change people.
C3PO is trying to get Nitrous Oxide for his robot friend. He walks up to a vampire and says 'I want Nos for Ar-Too'.
Surely a robot can figure out how to tick a box on a website saying "I am not a robot"" I watched Terminator 2 and one of the fuckers flew a helicopter.
Someone should make a movie about an old robot who needs a software upgrade so it can learn about LOVE. You could call it, 'The 40-Year-Old Version'.
I met a tiny, alien robot that looked like a small bug. He told me his friends escaped their home planet, and found a home here. He was confident that his race would be OK. He was Optimus Tick
Give a robot a fish, feed him for a day.
Teach a robot to fish, feed him for a lifetime.
Teach a robot to teach other robots to fish, you're out of a job.
The robot stabbing
What's the robot equivalent of a poisoned dagger?
A flash drive with a computer virus.
My friend urinated on a robot capable of feeling emotions. It got angry, but then it shut down. He really pissed it off.
We finally get a robot onto an alien planet and the first thing we do is roll over an adorable little fuzzball. Its true. Curiosity killed the cat.