White People Jokes

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Funniest White People Jokes

My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.

White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do. We do it in schools, because we have class.

White people are always annoyed that only black people can say the n word, but white people have some phrases only they can say too Things like “Hi Dad!” and “Thanks for the warning, officer.”

Funny White People Jokes

What does a racist joke and crossing the street have in common? White people looking both ways before they start

White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do... We shoot each other in school because we have class

Racist jokes are like white people. They are the best.

White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do... We shoot each other in schools, because we have class.

Sure, white people can't say the "N word" but. atleast we can say phrases like, "Thanks for the warning, Officer" and, "Hey, Dad."

What does a racist joke and crossing the street have in common? White people look both ways before they start...

Why do native Americans hate April? Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring white people

Sure, white people can't say the n-word, but.... At least we can say, "hey dad", "thanks for the warning officer", and "that's my kid".

Black people are allowed to say the n-word while white people can't. But white people can say things that black people can't. Like, "Thanks for the
warning officer," and "Hi dad."

White people don't shoot each others on the streets like Black people do. They do it in schools, because they have class.

Sure, white people cant say they "N" word but atleast we can say phrases like " thanks for the warning, officer" and "hey dad"

What we can say Black people are allowed to say the n-word while white people can't.

But white people can say things that black people can't. Like "thanks for the warning officer" and "hi dad"

Racism exists among all races of the world white people are just better at it, like most things.

Why do white people own so many pets? Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.

What do call a bunch of white people on a bench? The NBA

I hate it when they say, "white people can't dance"... Like Hello? We had the king of pop himself micheal Jackson.

Why do white people own so many pets? Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.

Curiosity killed the... ...white people in horror movies.

Why Aren't There Riots When White People Get Killed? Because white people have work in the morning.

Sure white people can't say the n-word. But at least we can say things like "Hey, Dad" or "Thanks for the warning, Officer."

Why do Native Americans hate April? April showers bring may flowers. And may flowers bring white people

White people don’t shoot each other in the streets like black people do. We do it in schools, because we have class.

Black people can be racist too It's just that white people are much better at it like we are at everything else.

Black people shoot each other in the streets White people shoot each other in school, because we got class

What do you call a bench full of white people? The NBA.

The Winter Olympics. Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.

What do you call white people sitting on a bench The nba

Why are white people the scariest in prison? Because you know they're guilty.

My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong person. Oh wait, that wasn't my waiter

What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? The NBA

Sony created two new stereos. One has good bass for black people to listen to rap music. The other has good treble for white people to listen to country.

Those are two stereo types.

Why do Americans suck at calculus? White people have never been good at integration.

How many white people can you fit in a can? Crackers don't come in cans, they come in boxes!

Why is hip hop popular among urban youth? because it's the only time a black man can tell a crowd of white people to put their hands in the air.

What do you call 64 white people in a room? One full blooded Cherokee

Why do white people own so many pets? Because we are not allowed to own people anymore.

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New White People Jokes

I know why blackface isn’t acceptable anymore Too many white people were mistakenly killed by police

Why did some White people back then hate Black people? Because they’re pale in comparison

When do white people meet? Caucasionally.

Deep in the Amazon jungle, a tribe witnessed white people for the first time... ...and immediately regretted installing TikTok.

Why do the Native Americans hate when white people ask to use their WiFi? They're taking all their LAN!

I am sick of people claiming that white people can't dance Have they never heard of Michael Jackson?

People always say white people can’t handle spice But have you ever had mayo? That stuff burns

20 black people, 13 Jewish people, 18 Chinese people, 10 Russians and 26 white people are in a bar... It's crowded.

Buying Property I have been looking for a new place to live. There are so many terms in real estate advertising I don't understand.

Finally, I translated one of those words: *Gentrified*.

​

It means it's safe for white people.

All races have their own perks.. Except for white people , they have privileges

White People White people invaded a third of the world for spices, and still don't know how to use them.

John Bolton: What really happened At a secret meeting, Kim Jong-un asked Bolton how he would describe Trump's constant wavering on the nuclear issue.

"Just fluctuations," said Bolton.

"Fluck you white people too," replied Kim.

I've figured out why white people hate diversity. Variety is the spice of life.

Which group of white people has the biggest dicks? Hungarians

What does a white person call it when there aren't any other white people in the room? Cracker-lackin'

My friend is a picky eater, and I think it might prove that he's racist. I mean, it can't be coincidence that he only eats white people, right?

There's supposedly no equivalent of the N word, with a hard R, that would make white people feel less than human. neanderthal.

Everybody is talking about how bad white people are now, but I think they should be praised for a super important thing. A white man killed Hitler.

Why do black people wear hoodies more than white people? Black people wear them outdoors, on the streets while white people wear them indoors at their weekly meetings.

They say white people can't jump. Well, I just got jumped by 3 of them, so I beg to differ.

White people want to know only two things How safe is it and is it covered by their insurance.

Black people say they own the N-word and white people cant say it, but whites created it Yet another example of theft committed by blacks

What do you call white people running down the side of a mountain? An avalanche.

What do you call black people running down the side of a mountain?

A mudslide.

What do you call Mexicans running down the side of a mountain?

Jail break.

Why did they call it Cinco de Mayo? Because only white people celebrate it.

Why do Native Americans hate April showers? Because April showers bring Mayflowers and Mayflowers bring white people.

Why do white people drink kombucha? It’s the only way they can get any culture

An Arab man farted in a class full of white people in the UK He then said “thanks god no one speaks Arabic here”

I know this is a joke subreddit, but can we draw the line on joking about white people food? It’s incredibly tasteless

How many white people does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They’re just gonna make the Mexican do it for them.

The real tragedy of this mosque shooting in NZ Thoughts and prayers to all the innocent white people who will be blamed for the actions of a single individual, an individual not inspired by mainstream religion followed by 1.7 billion people

Controversial Why don’t white people get a white history month?



Answer: Because you typically don’t give a participation trophy to the kid who got first place.

What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator. A box of crackers

I hate it when they say white people can't dance... Like hello we have Micheal Jackson.

What do you call a party with no white people? Crackalackin'

People who say white people can’t jump, Have never seen 9/11 footage

White people are cancer if they were born between June 21 and July 22.

What do white people cook better than black people? Meth.

What do white people make for dinner? Reservations!

I never interfere when two white people fight. Because it’s already a fair fight.

If white people are white paper, and black people are black paper. Then what are Mexican people? Construction paper

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Long White People Jokes

So I was at my bank today.

There was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yuan for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.

She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollar for yuan. Today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations.

The Asian lady says, "Fluck you white people too!"

I was at my bank today and there was just an Asian lady ahead of me

who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!!"

Today i was in the bank

There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yuan for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollar for yuan. Today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations.
The Asian lady says, "Fluck you white people too!"

FLUCTUATIONS

I was at my bank today; there was a short line.

There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious that she was a little irritated...

She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today, I only get hunat eighty. Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations..."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

I was at my bank today...

... there was a short queue. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated . . . She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"

I was at my bank today waiting in a short line.

There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

Joke translated to English

Once upon a time, there was a young Indian man named Ram who fell in love with a beautiful white woman. Although his parents did not approve, he stubbornly married the woman and brought her to live in the home he shared with his parents.

The next day, Ram's mother, named Sita, made breakfast for the whole family. She lovingly made lunch for her husband and son to take to work. The white woman, however, stayed in bed long after the two men went off to work. When she finally came out of her room, Sita was shocked to see the white woman completely naked!

"Why aren't you wearing clothes?!" asked Sita.

"This is my birthday suit. I was born in this suit, and this is the suit that I shall wear at home."

Sita tried to explain that the woman couldn't just walk around the house naked. What would Ram's father think?! The white woman ignored her requests.

Later that evening, Sita spoke imploringly to her son. "Ram, your wife is walking around in her birthday suit... These white people...!"

"I don't mind," said Ram, laughing. "I like it."

Shocked, Sita went to her own husband and explained the problem to him. "Sita, she is making her husband happy. She should try to keep him pleased with her," said Ram's father.

Over the next few days, Sita watched as her daughter in law walked around the house in comfort, and suddenly her own sari seemed like a burden to wear. She also noticed that her son couldn't keep his hands off his wife. Despite doing no housework at all, this white woman's birthday suit was keeping her husband very happy.

Sita decided to embrace her daughter in law's ways. The next day, her husband found her reclining peacefully on the couch, absolutely naked.

"What do you think? I'm in my birthday suit," she said, smiling.

"Sita, at least you should have ironed it!!"

Exchange rate

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank. Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?' The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations'. The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too'.

Currency trading

I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.

a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.

a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.

the guy said to me in an annoyed voice " why one week $120, then $105, then $135! - why the difference?!!?"

I says to him "fluctuations"

He responds "fluck you white people"

A Chinese woman storms into a bank and up to the front of the line.

She slams her hand down on the counter and demands the teller's attention.

"My stock," she says, "yesterday was worth one hundred dollar a share! Now is ninety five! Why? You try to rip me off?"

The teller smiles and says "No ma'am. Fluctuations."

The lady's face turns a bright shade of crimson and she screams "We'll fluc you white people too!"

A white man and a black man walk into a bakery

The white man immediately steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.

He says to the black, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see a thing." The black man says to the white man, "That's typical of you white people. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."

He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick." Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The black man swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then the black man swallows that one and asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "So what did you do with the pastries?"

The black man replies, "Look in the white mans back pocket....."

Today's word is.....Fluctuations

I was at my bank today; there was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated . . .

She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat
dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."


The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"

You racist!

An Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars at the currency exchange was getting irritated at the teller.

She asked the teller, “Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty. Why it change?”

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, “Fluctuations”.

The Asian lady says, “Fluc you white people, too!”

Washington State

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found
him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, 'Where have you been?'

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
'Look, Michael. Look what I've made.'


Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, 'What is it?'

'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put Life on it. I'm going to
call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance.'

'Balance?' inquired Michael, 'I'm still confused.'

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. 'For example,
northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while
southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent
of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance
in all things.'

God continued pointing to different countries. 'This one will be
extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and
said, 'What's that one?'

'That's Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are
beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and
plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome,
modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the
world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving and
they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, carriers of
peace, and producers of software.'

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, 'But what
about balance, God? You said there would be balance.'

God smiled, 'There is another Washington. Wait till you see the
idiots I put there.'

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him on the seventh day, resting.

He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds

"Look Michael, look what I've made", said God. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth: "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to two small land masses and said: "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's New Zealand, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams and hills. The people from New Zealand are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed: "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"

To which God replied: "Wait until you see the wankers I'm putting next to them in Australia."

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, 'Where have you been?'
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, 'Look, Michael. Look what I've made.'
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, 'What is it?'
'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance.'
'Balance?' inquired Michael, 'I'm still confused.'
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. 'For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things.'
God continued pointing to different countries. 'This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, 'What's that one?'
'That's Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, carriers of peace, and producers of software.'
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, 'But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance.'
God smiled, 'There is another Washington. Wait till you see the idiots I put there.'

I was at my bank today...

I was at my bank today and there was just an Asian lady ahead of me who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!!"

Fluctations

Check this out. I was at my bank today; there was a short line … just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady.

It was obvious she was more than just a little irritated … she was trying to exchange yen for dollars.

She asked the teller, ‘Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla
fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?’

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘Fluctuations.’

The Asian lady says, ‘Fluc you white people too!’

A black man in north carolina decides to stop by a chicken restaurant...

To get something to eat. The restaurant is filled with white people, but the black man isn't too nervous.

He goes to a waitress and asks for a seat, to which she replies, "Boy, we don't serve niggers here."

He replies, "Well, that's great, because I don't eat niggers. I'll find my own seat."

The man takes a seat in the middle of the restaurant and all of the white people are staring at him, all with degrees of unease and anger.

The waitress brings out a full chicken and puts it in front of him. Before the black man can dig in, three white men, who happened to be named Ku, Klux, and Klan are at his table. One of them says:

"Now listen boy what ever you do to that bird, we *will* do to you and truss us, we will get away with it."

So the black man picks down his knife and fork, picks up the chicken...and kisses it.

A North Korean lady was in line in front of me at my bank in the U.S., trying to exchange some won. She was obviously irritated, arguing with the teller.

“Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla of won, today I get
only one hunat eighty. Why it change?”

Teller shrugs his shoulders, says, “Fluctuations.”

Korean lady says, “Fluc you white people too!”

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