Hilarious Snake Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Snake Jokes

Score: 3496

What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 meters long? A πthon

Score: 3007

Snake walks into a bar. And the bartender says ''How did you do that?''

Score: 2157

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff Ba-dumm-tsss

Score: 1445

What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long? A πthon

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What does a German snake sound like? ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß....

Score: 930

A Sheep, a Drum, and a Snake fall off a cliff Baa-Dumm-Tsss

Score: 644

A goat, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff.. Baa- dum- ssss

Score: 559

A woman tried to order an exotic snake online A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves

Looks like the boa cons tricked her

Score: 384

A sheep, a drum and a snake fell off a cliff. BAA-DUMM-TSSS

Score: 359

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff... Baa dum tssssss

Score: 352

a sheep, a drum, and a snake fall down a cliff.... Baaah-Dum-tsssss

Score: 337

My pet snake just lays around and won't move I think he's suffering from a reptile dysfunction

Score: 307

A snake walks into a bar And the bartender asks "How did you do that?"

Score: 295

A goat, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff. Bah dum tss!

Score: 240

If adam and eve were Chinese Then we would still be in paradise as they would eat the snake instead of the apple.

Score: 210

My girlfriend said she was going to get a massive tattoo of a snake on her back. "Do it," I said. "But it might hurt you."

"I know," she replied. "But it's only a needle."

"No," I said. "I mean being single."

Score: 203

What do you call a snake that's 3.14 metres long? A πthon

Score: 199

A male snake charmer married a female undertaker.. Their bath towels read "Hiss" and "Hearse"

Score: 186

A snake walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “How did you do that?”.

Score: 181

A sheep,a pot and a snake walk together then fall of a cliff... *Baah Dum Tssssss*

Score: 179

So, a snake walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “how did you do that?”

Score: 170

What do you call a snake that is 3.14 feet long ? A πthon

Score: 157

A snake walks into a bar... Barman says "How'd you do that"?

Score: 124

What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 feet long? πthon

Score: 107

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff... Baa-dum-tssss

Score: 105

A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff BA-DUMM-TSS

Score: 93

A snake walked into a bar The bartender says, "Hey, how did you do that?"

Score: 89

Why was the snake pressed againt the glass at the zoo? He wanted to be a windshield viper.

Score: 82

What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil Serpent

Score: 71

We would all be living in paradise if Adam & Eve were Chinese.. Because they would've eaten the snake and not the apple.

Score: 67

So, a snake walks into a bar.... And the bartender asks in surprise "how'd you do that?!"

Score: 65

A goat, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff... Baa Dum Tss

Score: 63

I got really frustrated and my wife warned me not to cuss when the kids were around. Me: This is such bull-

Wife: Shhh, say snake instead

Me: Oh right.. This is such snakeshit

Close one

Score: 57

What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long? A π thon

Happy pi day. #dadjokes

Score: 51

What does a German snake say? ßßßß

Score: 50

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff. Ba-dum-tss.

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What did the German snake say? "ßßßßßßß..."

Score: 46

My wife tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves... Looks like the boa cons tricked her...

Score: 46

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff. Bah dum, tss.

Score: 46

What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 feet long? A pithon.

Score: 46

New Snake Jokes

What does a cool snake say? In the hiss house!

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A snake walks into a bar The bartender said, "Wait.. how'd you do that?"

Score: 6

Do you know why a snake is long and legless? Because if it were short and had legs it'd be a salamander.

Score: 1

What do you call a snake that's 3.14 metres long? A "Pi"-thon.

(brought to you by the bad puns initiative)

Score: 33

Two elephants and a snake fall off a cliff Bu dum tsssss

Score: 1

What do you get when you cross a snake with three doors? Monty Python

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Why is it funny to put a Sheep, a stupid man and a snake next to each other? Baa Dum Tss

Score: 4

I killed a snake and tried to eat it for supper. Now I've got Asp Burger syndrome.

Score: 1

Why did the snake look so jittery? He took too much Adder-all.

Score: 2

lf Adam & Eve were Chinese we would have been in paradise Because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake

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Short snake The short snake is late . When will he arrive, I do not know, but he won't be long.

Score: 2

Doctor: “Can you describe the snake that bit you?” Patient: “Yes. It looked like an angry rope. “

Score: 25

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff Baa, dumm, tssssss

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What do you call a snake that is approximately 3.14 feet long? A πthon

Score: 23

Since MIT is giving free access to their courses online, I shall study Computer science web programming with Python and Java as I thought it would be so cool to have a large snake round my neck as I drink coffee.

Score: 3

If God’s first couple were Chinese... If God’s first couple were Chinese we would still be in paradise and not committed the first sin.

They would have eaten the snake and ignored the apple....

Score: 4

What do you call a snake that weighs 3.14 tons? A πton.

Score: 4

What do you call a snake that's 3.14 meters long? A pi-thon!

I'll just show myself out. Of course, I shouldn't recoil.

Score: 8

What do you call it when a snake can't slither? A reptile dysfunction

Score: 31

A sheep, drum and a snake walk into a bar Baaa, dum, tssssss

Score: 31

what snake love math an adder

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a spider a snake and a kangaroo walked into a bar it was a normal day in australia

Score: 6

One snake says to the other snake, are we poisonous? The other replies, I don’t know why do you ask? The first snake replies, because I just bit my lip!

Score: 3

A snake slithers into a bar... He asks for a glass of Whiskey, but the bartender refuses and says:
"I won't serve you, you can't hold your alcohol."

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Rushing to the hospital, the paramedic asks the man, "Can you describe the snake that bit you?" "Yes, it was like an angry rope"

Score: 18

A Sheep, A Blonde, and A Snake fall over... ....Baaa Dumb, Tsss

Score: 8

When I was younger I distinctly remember a woman with a snake knocking on our door every December 31st to deliver fresh fruit. As a child I was terrified. But when I got older I realised it was just new years Eve.

Score: 4

What does being a fundamentalist Christian and the game Snake have in common? You can't touch yourself.

Score: 12

What kind of chocolate do you get a snake for Valentine's Day? Hershey's Hiss

Score: 3

What do you call a snake that eats too much candy A snack

Score: 3

My pet viper swallowed a sheet of window glass causing the snake severe physical discomfort. It was a real pane in the asp.

Score: 4

What did the librarian snake say when patrons were talking too loud? Ssssssssssss!

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My friend got bitten by a snake and he fell to the floor and started writhing around. It's amazing how fast the super powers kick in.

Score: 9

What happens if you throw a sheep, a drum and a snake down a cliff? Ba dum tss.

Score: 19

How do you make a snake cry? Take away its rattle.

Score: 6

A young snake says to His Mum. Mum are we poisonous? Mum says no Son why?

Thank God for that I have just bit my tongue:

Score: 4

I saw a snake that's exactly 3.14 meters long. I called it a πthon.

Score: 4

A kangaroo, a dolphin, and a snake walk into a bar. That’s all, it’s just kinda funny since none of them actually walk.

Score: 2

It's a requirement to be a snake if you want to become a VSCO girl Because without the "sss", "sksksk" turns into a very different strongly opinionated group

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What do you call a snake that builds houses? A boa constructer

Don’t bully me I know it’s bad

Score: 22

What happens when a sheep, a drum and a snake fall from a cliff BA DUM TS

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What is it called when a Snake can’t change its outer skin anymore? A reptile dysfunction.

Score: 7

I got bit by a snake I had to slide down from 99 to 42

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What does the longest snake in the world say? "ſſſſſſſſſ..."

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What do you call a snake that walks into the government? A civil Serpent

Score: 5

A little girl walk into a pet shop She asks the employee for a bunny, upon which he asks: what kind of bunny are you looking for? The girl replies: I don’t think my pet snake really cares!

Score: 3

Baby snake asks his mom “Are we venomous?”

Mom: “yes we are. Why do you ask?”

“I just bit my tongue.”

Score: 5

My wife tried to order an exotic snake online, but when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves... It looks like the boa cons tricked her!

Score: 11

What sound does a sheep, drum, and snake make when they hit the ground? Baa Dum Tss

Score: 2

Snake is 95% neck but only 80% nake'd

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A snake walks into a bar The bartender asks: "How did you do that?"

Score: 13

I caught a 3.14 meter snake the other day... It was a π-thon.

Score: 3

What do you get when an hedgehog and a Snake make a child Barbed wire

Score: 8

What do you call a snake that's 3.14 metres long A Pi-Thon

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Disney Toy Story vs R Rated Toy Story Disney Toy Story Woody "I got a snake in my boot"

R Rated Toy Story Woody "I got a snake in my booty"

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Why would the world have been a better place if Adam And Eve had been Chinese? Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple.

Score: 11

What kind of snake would become an architect? A boa constructor.

Score: 1

A Spanish man saw a snake and was very frightened. _Hiss._

Panic!

Score: 3

What do you call it when an old snake can’t get a boner? A reptile dysfunction

Score: 11

I am the hottest anti-vaxxer. I'm starting to have a fever. I'll go get the healing crystals and snake oil.

Score: 1

Why can’t you trust anything a snake says? They’re only tales

Score: 3