Hilarious Snake Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Snake Jokes

A lamb, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff. *baa-dum-tssssssssss*

Score: 3496

What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 meters long? A πthon

Score: 3007

What do you call a 3.14m long snake? A πthon.

Score: 2196

Snake walks into a bar. And the bartender says ''How did you do that?''

Score: 2157

What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long? A πthon

Score: 1041

What does a German snake sound like? ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß....

Score: 930

Snake: *hissssssssss* Feminist snake: \*herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr\*

Score: 735

A Sheep, a Drum, and a Snake fall off a cliff Baa-Dumm-Tsss

Score: 644

A goat, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff.. Baa- dum- ssss

Score: 559

A woman tried to order an exotic snake online A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves

Looks like the boa cons tricked her

Score: 384

A sheep, a drum and a snake fell off a cliff. BAA-DUMM-TSSS

Score: 359

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff... Baa dum tssssss

Score: 352

a sheep, a drum, and a snake fall down a cliff.... Baaah-Dum-tsssss

Score: 337

My pet snake just lays around and won't move I think he's suffering from a reptile dysfunction

Score: 307

A snake walks into a bar And the bartender asks "How did you do that?"

Score: 295

A goat, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff. Bah dum tss!

Score: 240

If adam and eve were Chinese Then we would still be in paradise as they would eat the snake instead of the apple.

Score: 210

My girlfriend said she was going to get a massive tattoo of a snake on her back. "Do it," I said. "But it might hurt you."

"I know," she replied. "But it's only a needle."

"No," I said. "I mean being single."

Score: 203

What do you call a snake that's 3.14 metres long? A πthon

Score: 199

A sheep,a pot and a snake walk together then fall of a cliff... *Baah Dum Tssssss*

Score: 179

So, a snake walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “how did you do that?”

Score: 170

What do you call a snake that is 3.14 feet long ? A πthon

Score: 157

What do you call a 3.14 inch long snake? A π-thon

Score: 147

What do you call a funny snake? HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTERICAL

^^^my ^^^son ^^^^told ^^^^^me ^^^^^^this ^^^^^^^one..

Score: 128

A snake walks into a bar... Barman says "How'd you do that"?

Score: 124

A fish, a snake, and Stephen Hawking walk into a bar... Just kidding. None of those things walk.

Score: 122

What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 feet long? πthon

Score: 107

A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff BA-DUMM-TSS

Score: 93

A snake walked into a bar The bartender says, "Hey, how did you do that?"

Score: 89

Why was the snake pressed againt the glass at the zoo? He wanted to be a windshield viper.

Score: 82

Snake: "hisssss" Feminist Snake: "herrrrrrr"

Score: 64

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff. Ba-dum-tss.

Score: 50

What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 feet long? A pithon.

Score: 46

What do you call a mathematical snake? A π-thon.

Score: 43

What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long? A π-thon.

Score: 37

A Sheep, a drum and a snake simultaneously fall from a cliff... Bah Dum Tss

Score: 34

What did you call a Mexican snake? Hisssspanic

Score: 34

A sheep, drum and snake fall down a cliff. Baa-dum-tss

Score: 24

What do you call a snake that builds houses? A boa constructer

Don’t bully me I know it’s bad

Score: 22

What do you call a snake that's 3.14 feet? A Pi-Thon!

Credit goes to my girlfriend, the ultimate dad.

Score: 19

New Snake Jokes

My snake is a IT professional..... He's very proficient in python, and won't stop hissing about it.

Score: 3

What is it called when a Snake can’t change its outer skin anymore? A reptile dysfunction.

Score: 7

What kind of snake would become an architect? A boa constructor.

Score: 1

How do you call a LGBT snake? A gender noodle

Score: 2

What do you call a 3.14 m long python? A snake.

Score: 3

What animal did the cow and snake discuss? A Moose.

Score: 3

A friend of mine messaged me to say that he's been bitten by a snake on holiday in India. How on earth does a snake manage to organise a holiday in India?

Score: 3

What do you call a flaccid snake? A reptile distinction.

Score: 4

I hired someone to build a house for me. He was a snake. He was a boa constructor.

Score: 2

Three Blind Men Three blind men were disputing whether an elephant was like a snake, wall, or a tree trunk.

Meanwhile, three blind elephants agreed that humans were a kind of gooey paste.

Score: 1

If a snake is shedding... Is it getting ssss-naked?

Score: 4

What do you call a snake 3.14 meters long? A Pi-thon

Score: 17

A sheep, a drum and a snake fell down a cliff Ba-Dum-Tsss

Score: 6

How do you get a snake to stop hissing? You give it an antiHISStamine!

Score: 9

What do you call a snake who makes a living building passenger airplanes? A Boeing constructor.

Score: 4

The difference between venomous snake, poisonous snake, and toxic snake A venomous snake kills you when it bites you.
A poisonous snake kills you when you eat it.
A toxic snake kills you with negative emotions.

Score: 3

What's the difference between a snake and a politician, found dead on the road? There are tire marks before the snake

Score: 2

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff... Baa dum tsssss

Score: 7

What do you call a terrified snake? Hisss-panic

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A sheep, a drum and a snake walked in to a bar.... Baae dom tss

Score: 2

What's a bro's favorite snake? cobra

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A sheep, a drum and a snake all fell down a cliff Ba. Dumm. Tss

Score: 4

What kind of underwear does a female snake wear ? A Pythong

Score: 2

Two snakes are hanging out, when one asks the other, "Hey, are we venomous?" The other snake replies, "I'm not sure."
"Well I hope not," the first snake says, "because I just bit my tongue."

Score: 9

What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long? A pi-thon

Score: 1

A sheep a drum and a snake fall down a cliff Ba-dum-tis

Score: 12

What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 feet long? A πthon

Score: 19

Two snakes are hanging out, when one asks the other... "Hey, are we venomous?"

The other snake replies, "I'm not sure."

"Well I hope not," the first snake says, "cus I just bit my tongue."

Score: 18

Man answers the phone: "Hello sir, this is a short survey. What is your name? "Adam"

And your wife's?

"Eve"

Ha! That's funny..does the snake lives there too?

"Yes one moment. Honey, get your mom please..."

Score: 8

What do you call a south american snake tied in a knot Pretzelcoatl

Score: 1

What do you call a snake that is 3.14ft long? A Pi-thon

Score: 12

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff. Baaa-dum-tsss

Score: 19

Q: What is the snake's favorite subject? A: Hiss-story

Score: 5

A snake walks into a bar... ...the bartender says, "hey, how'd you do that?"

Score: 4

A sheep, drum and snake fall off a cliff Baa-Dum-Tss

Score: 12

A snake walks into a bar... The barman looked up and said, "How did you do that?!!"

Score: 6

How do you measure a Snake? In Inches, they don't have feet...

Score: 2

A little girl at a pet shop... ... says can I get a wittle wabbit
and the man says "Would you like a white wittle wabbit, brown wittle wabbit or a black wittle wabbit?"
the little girl replies "I don't think my snake really gives a thit!"

Score: 1

What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 inches long? A πthon

Score: 17

Zero has spotted Solid Snake. He's now the one.

Score: 2

What do you call a snake that's 3.14 feet long? A πthon

Score: 11

LPT: To prevent a snake from biting, grasp their tail firmly and shake vigorously Since snakes don't have hands, the snake will think that you are a businessman and that he is a business snake, and you are about to make a handshake deal.

Score: 6

If Ekans is snake backwards and Arbok is cobra backwards... Then what *were* the Pokemon developers thinking when they named one Muk.

Score: 4

Why is Lord Voldemort a slytherin Because he is a snake

Score: 1

What do you call a snake that is 3.14 Meters long? A πthon

Score: 5

A 3.14 meter long snake ! What do you call a 3.14 meter long snake ?

- a "Py"thon

What do you call a 43 kilometre long snake ?

- a marathon !

Score: 4

What do you call a knitting snake? A nanaconda.

Score: 6

What do you call it when a snake can't perform sexually? Ereptile dysfunction

Score: 3

Yesterday I took LSD and I wrestled with a grass snake for three hours. On a side note, our garden hose is completely wrecked.

Score: 15

Can you think of any snake jokes? Because I serpently can't.

Score: 2

If Adam and Eve were chinese they would have stayed in paradise Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple.

Score: 17

Melania Trump had just undergone facial botox surgery when an extremely venomous snake bit her eyebrow. Sadly, no living thing has ever survived this creature's toxin. The snake died moments later.

Score: 2

What's a snake's favourite class? Hisstory.

Score: 2

A sheep, Don Trump and a snake all fall off a ledge Baa Dumb Tiss!

Score: 5

What do you call a snake that works for the government? ~~A civil serpent~~

Senator.

Score: 7

What do you call a snake with a degree in engineering? A Boa Constructor

Score: 2

A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff badum tss

Score: 8

Did you know cat's are impervious to most rattle snake bites? Said every dog ever.

Score: 3

I went to the pharmacy this morning and asked for 50 condoms. The girl winked at me and said, "Oh, someone has a busy weekend ahead of them!"

"I know," I said. "I'm making a raincoat for my pet snake."

Score: 12

What do call a woman who seduces a lawyer? A snake charmer.

Score: 1