A woman tried to order an exotic snake online
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves
Looks like the boa cons tricked her
My pet snake just lays around and won't move I think he's suffering from a reptile dysfunction
If adam and eve were Chinese Then we would still be in paradise as they would eat the snake instead of the apple.
My girlfriend said she was going to get a massive tattoo of a snake on her back.
"Do it," I said. "But it might hurt you."
"I know," she replied. "But it's only a needle."
"No," I said. "I mean being single."
We would all be living in paradise if Adam & Eve were Chinese.. Because they would've eaten the snake and not the apple.
I got really frustrated and my wife warned me not to cuss when the kids were around.
Me: This is such bull-
Wife: Shhh, say snake instead
Me: Oh right.. This is such snakeshit
My wife tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves... Looks like the boa cons tricked her...
lf Adam & Eve were Chinese we would have been in paradise Because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake
Short snake The short snake is late . When will he arrive, I do not know, but he won't be long.
Doctor: “Can you describe the snake that bit you?” Patient: “Yes. It looked like an angry rope. “
Since MIT is giving free access to their courses online, I shall study Computer science web programming with Python and Java as I thought it would be so cool to have a large snake round my neck as I drink coffee.
If God’s first couple were Chinese...
If God’s first couple were Chinese we would still be in paradise and not committed the first sin.
They would have eaten the snake and ignored the apple....
What do you call a snake that's 3.14 meters long?
I'll just show myself out. Of course, I shouldn't recoil.
One snake says to the other snake, are we poisonous? The other replies, I don’t know why do you ask? The first snake replies, because I just bit my lip!
A snake slithers into a bar...
He asks for a glass of Whiskey, but the bartender refuses and says:
"I won't serve you, you can't hold your alcohol."
Rushing to the hospital, the paramedic asks the man, "Can you describe the snake that bit you?" "Yes, it was like an angry rope"
When I was younger I distinctly remember a woman with a snake knocking on our door every December 31st to deliver fresh fruit. As a child I was terrified. But when I got older I realised it was just new years Eve.
What does being a fundamentalist Christian and the game Snake have in common? You can't touch yourself.
My pet viper swallowed a sheet of window glass causing the snake severe physical discomfort. It was a real pane in the asp.
My friend got bitten by a snake and he fell to the floor and started writhing around. It's amazing how fast the super powers kick in.
A young snake says to His Mum.
Mum are we poisonous? Mum says no Son why?
Thank God for that I have just bit my tongue:
A kangaroo, a dolphin, and a snake walk into a bar. That’s all, it’s just kinda funny since none of them actually walk.
It's a requirement to be a snake if you want to become a VSCO girl Because without the "sss", "sksksk" turns into a very different strongly opinionated group
What do you call a snake that builds houses?
A boa constructer
Don’t bully me I know it’s bad