Canada Jokes

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Funniest Canada Jokes

Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.

Edit: Sorry.

Score: 35246

One day, Canada will become a superpower and take over the whole world Then you'll all be sorry

Score: 13407

What borders stupidity? Mexico & Canada


Edit: Wow, people can't take a joke....


Edit 2: Ayy nice flair

Score: 4245

Build the wall Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption, and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.

Score: 2829

Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.

Score: 2318
Funny Canada Jokes
Score: 2072

One day Canada will rule the world Then you'll all be sorry

Score: 1710

One day Canada will take over the world. Then we'll all be sorry.

Score: 936

Electing Trump would really strengthen our dollar Sincerely,
Canada

Score: 432

What borders stupidity? Canada and Mexico.

Score: 347

Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.

Score: 301

50% of Canada Is the letter A

Score: 298

My grandfather survived both the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings Being in Canada helped.

Score: 288

I just found out Canada isn’t real Turns out it was all just mapleleaf

Score: 279

Your favorite drink must be ginger ale..... cause you leave every girl in Canada Dry.

Score: 240

What do Saudi Arabia and Canada have in common? In both countries, it's legal to get stoned.

Score: 230

People are always saying Americans are fat, violent, and above all else, stupid But every time I see one of those statistics maps about how terrible we are, there's this little country on the northwest border of Canada that's just as bad as we are.

Score: 228

Two clowns are running for public office... It's funny for me though because I live in Canada.

Score: 216

My neighbor is loud and obnoxious Now I know how Canada feels

Score: 214

One day Canada will conquer the world. Everybody will be sorry.

Score: 214

In Canada, we don't call the homeless homeless... We call them "three seasoners".


They don't make it through the fourth.

Score: 204

How much of northern Canada is livable? *Nunavut*

Score: 192

How did they name Canada? They picked letters out of a hat: C eh, N eh, D eh.

Score: 131

Why are Canadians always over qualified for jobs in the US? Because zero degrees in Canada is the same as 32 in the States.

Score: 130

What's Canada's intelligence agency called? The C.I. Eh

Score: 118

People should not move to Canada because of Trump They should go to Mexico, then at least there will be a wall between them and Trump.

Score: 113

One day Canada will rule the world And we'll all be sorry!

Score: 108

Our country needs a border wall. South of the border is nothing but criminals, disgusting people, and entitled people and their government does nothing about it. Just to be clear, I live in Canada.

Score: 107

I love summer in Canada! It's my favorite day of the year!

Score: 90

You may not believe that today is Canada's 150th Birthday... It's Trudeau...

Score: 90

What's does America have that Canada doesn't? Nice neighbors.

Score: 38

Only a few weeks left before Election Day in the US and I am still undecided... ...if I should move to Canada or New Zealand.

Score: 32

What do Canada and Saudi Arabia have in common? It's legal to get stoned.

Score: 19

I've been reading so much about the scary trade disputes between the US and Canada, I see headlines when I blink... ...Frankly, I'm tariff-eyed.

Score: 19

How will Donald Trump create 25 millions jobs? By having 25 million people move to Canada.

Score: 10

In America moosehead is a beer, In Canada moosehead is a misdemeanor.

Score: 7

I didn't want to believe the racist man in the brown face was the Prime Minister of Canada It's Trudeau!

Score: 5

What’s it called when your three amigos are headed to Canada but there’s a border wall and the U.S. to get through? Trespassing

Score: 5

What do you call Justin Bieber's singing? Canada Dry.

Score: 4

It only takes 3 letters to spell Canada C, eh, N, eh, D, eh

Score: 4

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New Canada Jokes

What does Canada have against America? Unfortunately, a southern boarder.

Score: 0

Canada is testing a vaccine for the Coronavirus... I heard it’s made from lime.

Score: 0

What do you call a subway from Georgia to Canada? The underground railroad.

Score: 0

I’m thinking of running as the Prime Minister of Canada Does anyone have any shoe polish I can borrow for Halloween?

Score: 3

Immigration custom asks Jose: What can you do in Canada? Jose: “can nada”?

Score: 1

They say the president of Canada does not like to dress up like a black person. But it's Trudeau.

Score: 2

What's the difference between an Alaskan and a Canadian? We haven't conquered the rest of Canada yet.

Score: 0

What’s bordering to stupidity? Mexico and Canada.

Score: 3

What’s the difference between USA and Canada In Canada you can get your shots at your school, in america you get shot at your school

Score: 1

How did they decide on the spelling of Canada? They pulled letters out of a hat

"C", eh?
"N", eh?
"D", eh?

Score: 1

humour and beverage There was this Irishman who saw an advertising sign that said "Drink Canada Dry" so he went

Score: 2

Did you hear about the legal brothel in Canada? "Yeah I hear all the girls are real dolls."

Score: 1

I was crossing the border from USA to Canada, and the border patrol Mountie asked me if I had any guns. I said, “what do you need?”

Steve Wright gets credit

Score: 2

Most people done believe me when I tell them Canada's Prine Minister as well as many Canadians can't pronounce the "th" sound when speaking in english, but ... ... it's Trudeau.

Score: 0

What do you call a witty man in Canada? A tourist.

Score: 3

TIL now the country of Canada got its name! The government got a bag of scrabble letters and decided they would name their country after the first letters they pulled out! According to historical records it went like this:

"C ay, N ay, D ay..."

Score: 2

Canada has the Canadian goose, what does Jamaica have? The mongoose.

Score: 1

Dear Canada, as a thank you for sending us Justin Bieber We are sending you Miley Cyrus, Whoopie Goldberg and Rosie O'Donnell

Score: 1

What's the capital of British Columbia, Canada? [Removed]

Score: 1

Whats the difference between my super hot girlfriend and Canada? Canada is real.

Score: 2

I bought a candy bar in Canada for a dollar and I got one nickel back. I told the cashier to keep it because I don't care much for their music.

Score: 1

Have you heard of Canada's answer to Tupac Shakur? Sixpac Fershur

Score: 1

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