One day, Canada will become a superpower and take over the whole world Then you'll all be sorry
Canada could have had it all: American industry, British Culture, and French Cuisine. Instead, they got: French Industry, American culture, and British cuisine
3:15pm So the hockey season got cancelled in Canada because of the coronavirus 6:30pm Canada is now testing the vaccine for coronavirus
People are always saying Americans are fat, violent, and above all else, stupid But every time I see one of those statistics maps about how terrible we are, there's this little country on the northwest border of Canada that's just as bad as we are.
Why are Canadians always over qualified for jobs in the US? Because zero degrees in Canada is the same as 32 in the States.
People should not move to Canada because of Trump They should go to Mexico, then at least there will be a wall between them and Trump.
Why do Irishmen never move from Canada back to Ireland? Because they saw the advertisement "Drink Canada Dry," and they've been trying ever since.
Eminem's "8 Mile" wasn't very well received in Canada I guess the title "12.8748 Kilometer" just isn't as catchy.
This is actually a true story, when I was 17 I had a choice to study in Canada or the USA. I chose Canada because it was less expensive In retrospect I dodged a bullet, maybe multiple bullets
Only a few weeks left before Election Day in the US and I am still undecided... ...if I should move to Canada or New Zealand.
A German and an American walk through a forest in Canada
Suddenly, the German shouts: “Bär! Bär!”
The American replies: yeah, I’m really thirsty too.
When I successfully invade Canada and they offer me lands in a peace treaty... I’ll take Nunavut.
Timezones are so weird like, it’s june 1 in Australia, May 31 in Canada and still 1920 in America
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
(Stolen from a German friend on FB where it's apparently making the rounds...)
The other day, I told my friend that part of Canada is in the arctic circle
“Really?” He said. “There’s no way!”
He was having Nunavut.
I told my friend that the current prime minister of Canada is Donald Trump It's not Tru, deau.
So Canada has declared that they aren’t sending athletes to the Olympics this year. Why start now?
I asked my Canadian friend what he thought was different between a Canadian and American education: The education is much better in Canada because everyone gets straight EHs.
The President of Canada walks into a bar ... sorry, I shouldn't finish this joke. It's too politically incorrect.
I’m thinking of running as the Prime Minister of Canada Does anyone have any shoe polish I can borrow for Halloween?
I don't care what anybody says but everybody below the border are a bunch of violence loving drug addicted ungrateful idiots I live in Canada by the way
Congratulations, you've won a free vacation across Canada! You have a choice between experiencing the vast Canadian Arctic, or everything else that Canada has to offer. You either see all of it, or Nunavut.
Regarding Hong Kong I don't think the US should send troops, nor should Canada send diplomats. I think Spain should send some clerics because nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
What’s the difference between Canada and Maine? In Canada Moosehead is a beer and in Maine it’s a misdemeanor.
People sometime ask me what brought my family to Canada I tell them my dad was just stationed here during the Vietnam war
How did Canada get it’s name?
Their founders put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled them out:
“C” ehe, “N” ehe, “D” ehe.
If Americans in Niagara Falls want to get to Canada for legal marijuana...
They have to take the 420 Highway!
(It’s actually true. Look it up.)
They say the president of Canada does not like to dress up like a black person. But it's Trudeau.
I didn't want to believe the racist man in the brown face was the Prime Minister of Canada It's Trudeau!
Canada could have the best of 3 nations it is influenced by: French cuisine, British culture and American technology! Instead, Canada got British cuisine, American culture and French technology.
An Irishman walks into a bar in Toronto and orders a drink.
The bartender, noticing his accent, asks him "What brings you to Canada?"
The Irishman says "Well, I was in a pub in Dublin and my drink coaster said 'Drink Canada Dry', so I thought I'd give it a shot"
What’s the difference between USA and Canada In Canada you can get your shots at your school, in america you get shot at your school
What’s the difference between Canada and America? In Canada you gets your shots at school, in America you get shot at your school
In America ambulances go " Wee Woo Wee Woo"
In Canada ambulances go " Wee Woo Wee Woo"
But in Japan ambulances go " Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U"