It's So Cold Jokes

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Funniest It's So Cold Jokes

Funny It's So Cold Jokes

It's so cold outside.... I saw a politician put his hands in his own pockets.

It's so cold outside... ...the local flasher just described himself to me

It's so cold outside... I brushed against a car in the parking lot and accidently keyed it with my nipple.

It's so cold outside I saw a politician with hands in his own pocket.

It's so cold outside.... You could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!

Politics and the Weather It's so cold outside, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

A Canadian buys a walk-in freezer His neighbor asks him: "Why do you need a freezer when it's so cold outside?"

He replies: "To have a warm place inside the house. It's -30 outside and -10 in the freezer."

It's cold Son: Dad, it's so cold in here!
Father: Go stand in the corner.
Son: Why?
Father: The corner is 90 degrees.

It's so cold today... I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

It's so cold... Harvey Weinstein is keeping his hands to himself.

It's so cold in Michigan right now. The politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

It's so cold outside... I just saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

It's so cold out today.....How cold? I saw a Lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

It's so cold outside. I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

I heard it's so cold in Florida that frozen Iguanas are falling from trees. I'll make sure to bring a coat next time Iguana visit Florida.

It's so cold outside as of lately man. It's making my nose run NOW IM WILD CHASE TO GET IT BACK

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Long It's So Cold Jokes

A penguin is driving through the desert...

He's cruising down a long stretch of highway when all of a sudden his car starts billowing smoke out from under the hood. The car starts sputtering, and being so far from home and in such heat, he starts to worry about his own safety. Luckily, as his car starts to come to a halt, he notices a gas station and service center just a bit further down the road. He manages to waddle his way over to the shop, and approaches the service desk.

"Oh thank God, you have to help me, I just broke down outside and I'm completely stranded!" exclaims the penguin.

"No problem sir! We'll have someone haul your vehicle in, and we'll have it in tip top shape in no time!" the mechanic replies. "In the meantime, you look like you need to cool off! Here, the gas station just next door sells ice cream, take this voucher and go get yourself a nice vanilla cone on us!"

The penguin is overwhelmed with gratitude.

"Thank you so much! I'm not very well suited for this climate, and that would be perfect!"

So the penguin happily waddles over and orders himself a big cone full of soft serve. It's so cold and soothing, he can't help but scarf the entire thing down within seconds. He's eager to express his thanks to the mechanic for all of his help, so he heads back over to the service station.

As soon as he walks in, the mechanic comes in from the back, wiping grease off of his hands with a towel. He walks up to the penguin.

"So, it looks like you blew a seal."

"Oh, no, it's just ice cream."

Good verbal joke, not so good written...

During WW2, three German soldiers are complaining about how cold it is in Russia.

The first one say it's so cold, that when he pees it freezes before it hits the ground.

The second soldier says he made coffee for breakfast, and it froze before he could drink it.

The third soldier chuckles and says he is not impressed. He ducks into his foxhole and brings 3 small brown disks over. He tosses them into the fire.

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feerrnt, feernt, ferrnt...
(make a far noise, kids love this one)

In 1972, there lived an old lady in Saskatchewan, Canada

She lived her whole life in a small house in the countryside only a couple hundred meters from the border of Manitoba. In 1972, the border was soon going to be redrawn very slightly, which would put her just barely in Manitoba. A T.V. channel caught up with her at her little house and asked her what her thoughts were on soon living in Manitoba. She replied: "But it's so cold there."

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