Helen Keller Jokes

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Funniest Helen Keller Jokes

Funny Helen Keller Jokes

What did Helen Keller say when she picked up the cheese grater? That was the most violent book I've ever read...........

Why did Helen Keller mastutbate with one hand? So she could moan with the other.

Helen Keller....... Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as "The most violent book I've ever read".

Why does Helen Keller play piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing

Why can’t Helen Keller drive? She’s dead

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love

Helen Keller walks into a bar Then into a chair

Then into a table

Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as... “The most violent book I have ever read”

(OC) What do you call Helen Keller punching someone? Senseless violence.

my dad told me this one Helen Keller walks into a bar, then a table , then a chair

Why could no one hear Helen Keller cry for help when she fell off a bridge? She was wearing mittens

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

Helen Keller walks into a bar... Then she walks into a table. Then she walks into a chair.

Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing.

What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater? That's the worst book I ever read.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse? Neither did she.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They rearranged the furniture.

Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell down a well? Neither did she.

Edit:Alternate Punchline Below

She screamed her hands off.

Helen keller sets down a cheese grader and says... That was the most violent book i've ever read

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cause she's a woman.

Helen Keller walks into a bar.... Then a chair, then a table.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her when she was a kid? Moved the furniture around.

Helen Keller walked into a bar Then a table.

Then a chair.

Did you hear about the shooting at Helen Keller's house? She didn't either.

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if your name was "ARGHAGHRRAH!"

Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand? So she could sing with the other.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard? Neither did she.

Sing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle"... Helen Keller went to town,
A-ridin' on a pony,
Stuck a feather in her hat
and called it "Hunngunnggunufffungg"

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity? Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.

So Helen Keller walks into a bar... Then a table, then a chair.

Why is helen keller a bad driver? Because she's dead

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Neither did she.

What's Helen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy.

Did you guys hear what happened to Helen Keller? Neither did she.

Let's hear your best Helen Keller jokes. Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork. Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll? You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!

Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff? She was wearing mittens

Why couldn’t Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

What do you get when you cross Helen Keller and a Zebra? A referee

So Helen Keller walks into a bar Then she walks into a table. Then she walks into a lamp. Then she walks into the wa- ok, you get the idea.

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New Helen Keller Jokes

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her back yard? Yea nether did she.

Where did Helen Keller work all the live long day? The braille road

So Helen Keller walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

TIL Helen Keller has a waterfall named after her, to celebrate her story of learning about water. It's named Helen Keller Falls

Why was Helen Keller such a terrible driver? She was a woman

Why does Helen Keller have yellow legs? Because her dog is blind too.

Why did Helen Keller’s husband yell at her? Because she wouldn’t listen.

Are Helen Keller jokes allowed here? Or will they not be seen?

Answer: Felt Forum Question: How did Helen Keller find her boyfriend's balls?

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity Granny forgot to remove the plunger.

Why can't Helen Keller play the piano? Because she's dead.

Ahhhh Helen keller died when she fell down a well. They say she screamed until her fingers bled, but to deaf ears.

Helen Keller walked into a bar... And a wall, and a chair, and a table.

Why did Helen Keller’s belly button hurt? Her boyfriend was blind too.

What did Helen Keller call her kids? Muuurrghhrrhurrg.

What was Helen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy

2 guys are talking G1: Why can't Helen Keller drive?

G2: Because she's blind?

G1: No, cause she's a woman.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Nether did she.

Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? He couldn't stand being named "uhhhaughughhh!"

Why did Helen Keller have bruises on her belly? Her boyfriend was blind too.

what did Helen Keller‘s parents do when she was bad? They made her read a cheese grater.

Helen Keller Did you know Helen Keller had a playground...
neither did she

Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.

How do Helen Keller's parents punish her? They move the furniture.

What’s Helen Keller’s favorite color Velcro

Guys please stop making jokes about Helen Keller. They’re just plain senseless.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Rearranged the furniture

Why can't Helen Keller drive? B̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶w̶o̶m̶a̶n̶.̶


Because she is dead

Did you know Helen Keller had a huge playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

It's no where near 2020. . and I'm already making Helen Keller jokes

Helen Keller once farted during a lecture on genetic hearing loss.. The science in the room was deafening.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her bedroom? Neither did she.

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she!

Why was Helen Keller surprised by the bukkake? She didn’t see it coming

Did you know that Helen Keller had a parrot? Yeah, neither did she.

Helen Keller walks into a bar Then a chair, and then the wall

Helen Keller I ask my wife, "Why can't Helen Keller drive?"

She replies immediately, "Duh, because she's blind and deaf."

"No, it's because she's dead."



(Please comment your best Helen Keller jokes!)

What was the most violent thing Helen Keller ever read? The cheese grater.

Why can't Helen Keller drive well? She's dead.

Who would you rather have as a QB? Blake Bortles or Hellen Keller? Answer: Helen Keller, she can at least read a defense in Braille

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Long Helen Keller Jokes

Yankee Doodle can use other names too

Helen Keller went to town while riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it 'UGLABERPL'

Adolf Hitler went to town while riding on a pony, when someone stuck a feather in his hat, he threw it on the ground and screamed 'NIEN!'

A few Helen Keller jokes. Feel free to add your own!

1. "Did you know Helen Keller had a really fancy doll house?"
"Neither did she.

2. "Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?"
"You would too if your name was BALLRUGEKLHEBSKLH!"

3. "How do you punish Helen Keller?"
"Rearrange the furniture and keep a plunger in the toilet."

Computer accounts

As a sysadmin I decided that it was my duty to honor great people in history.

Today we decided to make an account in honor of Helen Keller. Of course it will be disabled.

Tomorrow we will make one for Bruce Jenner. Of course, it will not be mail-enabled.

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