Hilarious Helen Keller Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Helen Keller Jokes

Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as... "The most violent book I have ever read"

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What did Helen Keller say when she picked up the cheese grater? That was the most violent book I've ever read...........

Score: 644

Helen Keller....... Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as "The most violent book I've ever read".

Score: 389

Why does Helen Keller play piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing

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Why can’t Helen Keller drive? She’s dead

Score: 184

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love

Score: 183

Helen Keller walks into a bar Then into a chair

Then into a table

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Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as... “The most violent book I have ever read”

Score: 131

(OC) What do you call Helen Keller punching someone? Senseless violence.

Score: 125

Why could no one hear Helen Keller cry for help when she fell off a bridge? She was wearing mittens

Score: 101

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

Score: 77

Helen Keller walks into a bar... Then she walks into a table. Then she walks into a chair.

Score: 70

Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing.

Score: 56

What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater? That's the worst book I ever read.

Score: 45

Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse? Neither did she.

Score: 37

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They rearranged the furniture.

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Helen keller sets down a cheese grader and says... That was the most violent book i've ever read

Score: 35

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cause she's a woman.

Score: 35

Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell down a well? Neither did she.

Edit:Alternate Punchline Below

She screamed her hands off.

Score: 35

Helen Keller walks into a bar.... Then a chair, then a table.

Score: 34

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if your name was "ARGHAGHRRAH!"

Score: 33

Did you hear about the shooting at Helen Keller's house? She didn't either.

Score: 33

Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand? So she could sing with the other.

Score: 33

Helen Keller walked into a bar Then a table.

Then a chair.

Score: 33

Did you know that Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard? Neither did she.

Score: 32

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity? Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.

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So Helen Keller walks into a bar... Then a table, then a chair.

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What's Helen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy.

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Why is helen keller a bad driver? Because she's dead

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Did you guys hear what happened to Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Want to hear a joke? So did Helen Keller.

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"On the plus side, I am completely immune to flash-bang grenades" - probably Helen Keller

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Helen Keller walks into a bar, then a table, and some chairs.

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Helen Keller walks into a bar... Then a table, then a chair.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she's a woman

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So Helen Keller walks into a bar a table & a chair

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Helen Keller walked into a bar. Then a table, then a chair.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would, too, if your name was hrhrnwodjbrke.

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Why is Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she's dead.

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What happened to Helen Keller when she fell down the mountain? She broke five fingers calling for help

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New Helen Keller Jokes

Why can't Helen Keller drive well? She's dead.

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If Helen Keller is playing the piano with one hand, what is she doing with the other? Singing!!!

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It was believed that Helen Keller could see dead people and read people’s minds. She had the fourth sense

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Polio, she had everything else!

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Why did Helen Keller get in a car accident? Because she's a woman.

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If Helen Keller was also mute, you think she would've been as influential as she was? If anything, Im sure she'd play a mean pinball.

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Have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Neither has she.

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Did you know that Helen Keller has a playground? Neither did she

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What do you name a movie about Helen Keller speaking to the dead? The Fourth Sense.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Darggghhhh

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Why isn't Helen Keller allowed to drive? Cause she's a woman

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? Let her fell a stucco wall.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as... the most violent book she's ever read.

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Helen Keller walks into a bar... and then a chair. and a table.

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Helen Keller walks into a bar... and then a table. and then a chair. and then a reposted joke.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a play set? Neither did she...

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What is long and dark? A day in the life of Helen Keller.

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Why does everyone enjoy having Helen Keller at bondage parties? She can never say the safe word.

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Helen Keller fell down a well... And screamed her hands right off.

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Stop the Helen Keller jokes you have to be really blind not to see what's wrong with them.

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How did Helen Keller lose her right arm? She was trying to read the speed limit sign on the highway.

Score: 6

Whats the easiest way to confuse Helen Keller? Put doorknobs on all the walls.

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Helen Keller was blind and deaf. She would still lip sync better than Mariah Carey.

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What did Helen Keller's parent's give her to keep her busy? A basketball.

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Helen Keller Helen Keller walks in to a bar....

Then a table...

Then a chair

Score: 4