Ice Cream Jokes

Contents

Funniest Ice Cream Jokes

I asked my girlfriend if she'd like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends. She said "Yes!". I said "Good, because I'm breaking up with you."

Edit: Front page! Hi mom.

Thanks for the gold you amazing stranger, you.

Score: 2751

I asked my girlfriend if she'd like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends. She said "Yes!". I said "Good, because I'm breaking up with you."

Score: 1707

How do you make a human corpse float? Two scoops ice cream, one scoop human corpse, and half a liter of root beer.

Score: 258

A guy with a whimpering faint voice orders an ice cream... Vendor asks: "Crushed nuts?"
Guy whimpers back: "No. Laryngitis."

Score: 129

Did you hear about the day when Hagrid took Harry, mashed him up, put him in a blender with ice cream and drank him? Yer a Blizzard, Harry.

Score: 63

Bert asks Ernie, "Ernie do you want to get ice cream?" Ernie responds "Sure Bert"

Score: 59

Say, Ernie, want some Ice Cream? Sherbert

Score: 49

I was offered a job at the local ice cream shop But I turned it down.

I don't like working on sundaes.

Score: 47

Why did little Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she was hit by a bus.

Score: 42

Hey Ernie, want some ice cream? Sherbert

Score: 32

I asked my girlfriend if she'd like a day of eating ice cream and hanging out with her friends She said "Yes!"
I said "Good, because I'm breaking up with you."

Score: 30

So a woman is chasing down an ice cream truck... ... And the ice cream man stops and says, "What can I get for you, Ma'am?"

She says "Nothing, just wanted to tell you I'm vegan."

Score: 28

What is Donald Trump’s least favorite flavor of ice cream? Peach Mint.

Score: 27

Why did Sally drop her ice cream while crossing the street? She got hit by a Bus.

Score: 27

I bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces..

Score: 22

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

Score: 20

What did the ice cream say to the birthday girl? Go head girl it's sherbert day

Score: 18

What's Trump's least favorite ice cream flavor? Peach Mint.

Score: 17

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she was hit by a bus.

Score: 17

An old man walked into an ice cream parlor... He slowly climbed onto a stool, wincing with pain, and then proceeded to order a banana split.
"Crushed nuts, sir?" asked the waitress.
The old man took a deep breath and replied, "No, arthritis"

Score: 17

Where does one learn to make ice cream? Sundae school!

Score: 17

There is an ice cream called batman Just ice was served

Score: 14

What caused the ice cream truck to break down? a rocky road

Score: 14

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck

Score: 14

Bert: "Hey Ernie, would you like to go get some ice cream?" Ernie: "Sherbert."

Score: 14

Bert asked Ernie if he wants ice cream "Sure, Bert"

Score: 13

What is a slow moving ice cream truck called? A sundae driver.

Score: 13

Guy walks into an ice cream shop And says give me some chocolate, some marshmallows, and some almonds. The elderly gentleman working the counter says “Careful son, you’re heading down a rocky road.”

Score: 13

A penguin takes his car to the shop for maintenance. He goes across the street to a ice cream stand for a vinilla cone. Later he goes back to the shop to check on his car. Mechanic says "looks like you blew a seal". Penguin goes "No, it's just ice cream".

Score: 12

What did Ernie say when Bert asked him if he wanted some ice cream? Sherbert.

(I can't take credit for this amazing piece of comedy. Heard it from a friend, no idea if he came up with it or not.)

Score: 12

What did Ernie say when his friend tried to convince him he was ice cream? Are you surebert?

Score: 12

Took my girlfriend to the ice cream factory and she fell into the gelato machine She's a sore bae now.

Score: 12

A penguin took his car to the mechanic. The penguin left to get some ice cream and returned a few minutes later.

"It looks like you blew a seal" said the mechanic.

"Gross, its just ice cream" replied the penguin.

Score: 10

An eskimo brought his car to a mechanic. Mechanic says, "you blew a seal"
Eskimo wipes his face, "no, I just had some ice cream".

Score: 7

Why was the Ice cream crying? Because his mother had been a wafer so long.

Score: 7

What do you call jalapeño flavored ice cream? Spice cream.

Score: 4

What’s a horses favorite type of ice cream? Sher-bit

Score: 4

I tried to load an ASCII picture of ice cream on my ancient computer and I succeeded! I got a nice picture of Haagen-DOS

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Score: 4

I go through condoms like a fat man goes through ice cream! I probably shouldn't have bought the ice cream flavored ones.

Score: 4

I worked in one of those creepy ice cream vans over Memorial Day weekend, and I must say, they really do work. I raked in the Benjamins. Also got a couple Jacobs and Timothys as well.

Score: 3

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New Ice Cream Jokes

Kids are like ice cream They're the sweetest thing in the world but can give you a headache. It is also best to enjoy them in moderation.

Score: 0

There's an ice cream flavor made from auto parts Traffic on the Road

Score: 0

Bert asked his friend if he wanted ice cream and wants to know his favorite flavor. He said Sherbert.

Score: 0

The local ice cream shop has introduced a new mixed fruit flavour since hearing the president of the United States could get removed. They call it the Impeached Orange.

Score: 1

When a vsco girl gets an ice cream job And I scoop

Score: 1

How to make a baby float? Two scoops vanilla ice cream

One scoop dead baby

Score: 1

What is the favorite ice cream of a Nigerian prince? Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food

Score: 1

How does a Call of Duty player like their ice cream? With a 360 no scoop.

Score: 2

Things that have occurred in history since the Chicago Cubs last won a World Series... I had an ice cream cone. That I dripped all over myself.

Score: 2

Why do diners in Kansas put a red star next to Vanilla ice cream? to warn that it may be considered "too spicey" for the average customer

Score: 1

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