Obama smoked weed growing up, and now look where he is today Unemployed with two kids and recently evicted
Cowboys don’t roll joints. They tumble weed.
The Quran is like weed Burn it and you get stoned.
I used to illegally give weed to my prize winning cows, but I had to stop. The steaks were too high.
Why don't men in the Middle East smoke weed? Only women get stoned.
Didn't Snoop Dogg change his name?
Or was Snoop Lyin'?
Edit: Just in case the king sees this, I got mad respect for you Dogg. Smoke weed everyday.
(His grandmother passed away recently, I'm just trying to be nice people.)
What kind of weed do reptiles smoke? Mariguana.
Being on a United Airlines flight is like smoking weed. You take a hit, then a long drag and soon you wake up not knowing where you are.
The police say that they burn all the weed they confiscate... That would explain the doughnuts...
I was about to smoke weed with a couple cute Mexican girls... I asked them if they had papers. They immediately ran off.
Two midgets are sitting around, bored...
When one of them pulls out some weed and asks:
"Wanna get medium?"
The Quran is like weed If you burn it you get stoned.
What's the difference between smoking weed and burning the koran? If you burn the koran, you can only get stoned once.
Studies have shown that smoking weed causes short term memory loss. Next thing you know they'll be saying smoking weed causes short term memory loss.
I stopped smoking weed the day after I spent 30minutes looking for my phone under the bed... ....while using my phone's flashlight
When midgets smoke weed... ...do they get high, or do they just get medium?
I was gonna smoke weed with this Mexican girl Until I asked her for some papers and she ran off.
My neighbour just got arrested for growing weed. Turns out my property line is nowhere near where I thought it was.
What do you call a guy with a plant fetish? A Weed Whacker.
What does the Quran have in common with weed? Burn it and you get stoned
Wow I got all this for free today. iPhone, some weed, and $2 000 ... it’s like this gun is magic!
The janitor in my apartment complex asked me if I wanted to smoke some weed with her. I said no. I can't deal with a high maintenance woman.
So today is 4/20 4/20 is national weed day, 4/21 is national surprise drug test day and 4/22 is national unemployment day
The Quran is like weed You burn it and you get stoned
My friend lives in Colorado and wanted to start growing weed on his cow farm. I told him it wasn’t a good idea. The steaks would be too high.
If weed becomes legalized after Snoop Dog dies He'll be rolling in his grave
"Your eyes look red." said the cop. "Have you been smoking weed?" "Your eyes look glazed." I replied. "Have you been eating donuts?"
What happens if you smoke weed in a musilm country? Simple, you get stoned twice
Obama smoked weed growing up and look where he is today Unemployed, with two kids and recently evicted
Snoop Dogg seems to be investing in a company that will deliver weed to your house in 10 minutes... Sadly, the name Instagram is taken.
All the Geology majors at my university smoke a lot weed. I guess you could say that they're all a bunch of stoners.
For this New Years resolution I'm not going to smoke any more weed. But I'm not gonna smoke any less either.
What does Osama bin Laden call his weed? The Quran because burning it gets you stoned
A couple of guys threw rocks at me for smoking weed in public. I was stoned.
Snoop Dogg recently announced the he doesn't smoke weed any more But he also doesn't smoke any less.
I gave some autistic kids weed... And now I have baked potatoes.
I killed some one with some weed. One could say it was blunt force trauma.
What do you call a drug addict who likes anime? Weed-a-boo
It is very hard for me to get in touch with my dealer ship... Maybe that old sea captain isn't the best person to buy weed from.
A smoker wanted weed on the go. So he bought Instant Pot on the Internet. He was Instantly Disappointed.
A group of stoner farmers wanted to come up with their own variation of “grass fed beef.” So, they fed cows weed and then sold the beef. It was a high steaks operation.
What's the scientific term for sea weed? Marinejuana
What do you get when you cross a dog and a bag of weed? A dooberman.
This morning I worked in the garden, pulling out the weeds. I put them out the front in a box with a sign, “Free weeds.” No one took them. I was puzzled ‘cause last week, my neighbour had a sign for “Free weed” and everyone came, even some cops.
Studies show that if you smoke weed you are less likely to get sick. Because of your high gene.
Bernie told me to be the change I want to see on this country So I’m adding taxes to all my weed sales
I'm afraid I might be addicted to sea weed Perhaps I should sea kelp
What do you call a lazy weed-user? A baked potato
What do you call a person with down syndrome that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What game do cows play after smoking weed? High steaks poker
What do you call someone that speaks more than one language, and also smokes weed? A Rosetta Stoner
I do a magic show making weed and cocaine disappear It's all just smoke and mirrors
Curtesy of my absolutely smashed brother after smoking 27 pounds of the finest weed
“What was the wheel”
He wouldn’t leave me alone until I posted this I’m sorry
Why was the teenager arrested in Wal-Mart after asking if they sold protective coverings to use while smoking weed? When asked why he came in, he said he needed to “case the joint.”
I tried some weed from Oklahoma today. It was OK.
TIFU by getting my cousin arrested for smoking weed I should have known there’s a better way to describe blowtorching crabgrass.
Local Barber shop owner busted for selling weed... I had no idea he was a barber.
What do you call a group of Indians smoking weed?
A Hindu Kush
I am not sorry
If I ever make a weed farm... It'll be called "The Pottery"
Who do Mexican people who love weed marry?? They Marry Juana
What do you get when somebody smuggles weed into the special ed classroom? Baked potatoes.
What do you call a stoner who had his weed seized? Disjointed.
What do you call alligator weed? Croc-pot
What do you call it when an autistic kid smokes weed? Baked Potato
Did you hear about the obscenely hard gardening class required for botany majors? It was said to be a weed out class
This guy in Japan was trying to get me to help him score some weed... ... he kept pointing at a map and going: "Toke, yo? Toke, yo?".
What do you get when you mix a Puerto Rican with a goat?? A weed eater that doesn't work.