I was at an atm and some little kid asked me to help him check his balance ... So I pushed him over
Three things that never lie..... Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants
Whats common between dark jokes and little kids with cancer... They never get old.
When I was a little kid, I had this friend that was always counting. I wonder what he's up to these days.
What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry? My donation check to the orphanage.
What's the difference between Harambe and Michael Jackson? Harambe got punished for touching little kids.
When I was a little kid, my dad would swear then say "Excuse my French" One day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and I raised my hand
I saw 4 people beating up a little kid so I decided to help He didn't stand a chance against 5 of us
What do little kids call trail mix? M&M’s with *obstacles*.
What do you call little kids in Belgium? Brusselsprouts
Yesterday I saw a little kid who kept refusing to go home for a nap. He was resisting a rest.
Little kids will do anything for five bucks. Just ask a Chinese factory
Old joke (1930s) - Little kid comes in late to school. Teacher says, "Why ya late?"...
Kid says, "Had a take a heifer down—get 'er bred."
Teacher says, "Couldn't your father do it?"
Kid says, "Sure he could, but not as good as the bull."
I saw 4 gang members beating up a little kid So I decided to step in, there's no chance he can take all 5 of us.
What do you call a little kid with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.
When I was a little kid, I would wait up all night waiting for santa to come. Then there was an awkward silence when he got up, put his pants on, and left.
Saw a little kid getting bashed by 2 men on the street, so I stopped to help. He didn't stand a chance against the 3 of us
Little kid ask His dad: daddy what is MACHO?
its a person who is in charge, makes desicions, gives orders and everyone around obeys those orders.
When I grow up I want to be a real macho just like Mom.
This little kid at the shops an hour ago: Why was Tigger in the bathroom for so long?
He had Pooh inside him..
I laughed which made the little fellas day.
Heard this joke from a little kid. Why was the broken phonograph in the Hall of Fame? Because it broke all the records.
When i was a little kid my parents changed houses a lot. But I always found them.
A guy and a little kid are walking into the woods...
Kid say to the guy "but I'm scared of the dark"
Guy says "you think your scared I'm the one that has to walk out of here alone"
I was walking down the street the other day and I saw 4 guys ganging up on a little kid I walked right on past because I figured reposting would be a bigger crime than helping beat the kid up.
A little kid swallows 6 plastic horses...
His condition is stable
2 little kids, Billy and Tom, are goofing around in a cannibal village. Billys mum sticks her head out and yells... "Billy, stop playing with your food!"
Little kids are like fidget spinners
Oh yeah and they spin easier when you stick something metal through them.
I saw a little kid crying. He told me he lost the $200 he had saved for his mom's birthday gift. So I opened my wallet and gave him $40 Why not? Just five minutes earlier, I found ten $20 bills!
I asked a little kid what he wanted to be when he grew up
Kid: “I want to be a raper!”
Me: “Haha, do you mean a rapper?”
Kid:”Take off your pants”
I could win an Olympic gold medal If the women's gymnastic balance beam was a male competition too, I could win the gold medal. I've been mastering a 4 inch wood beam since I was a little kid
What are the similarities between an Xbox and Michael Jackson. They're both made of plastic, and little kids turn them on.
Heard a little kid telling this joke to his friend but failed to catch the punch line. What do you call a stripper that lives under water?
I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn’t serious.
Nobody saw me.
What's the difference difference between Hitler and a little kid? Hitler didn't get a medal for trying to finish a race.
I saw four guys beat beat up a little kid today, so I decided to help. He had no chance against all five of us.
Did you ever blow bubbles in the bath when you were a little kid? Because he's back in town and he wants your number.
Today I saw 4 guys beating up a little kid, so I decided to help. He had no chance against all 5 of us.
I'm free! I'm free! A prisoner is finally released, after many years in jail. He stands at the pavement, yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!" - A little kid walks up to him happily and joins, “I’m four! I’m four!"
A little kid told me this joke one time and I thought it was genius.
“Why was the clown sad?”
“Cause he got shot in the face...”
When I was a little kid, I used to look up to my father. What am I supposed to do? Look down? He was a meter taller than me!
Courtesy of a little kid in Hebrew school: What do Israelis do in the summer? They fly kaitz
This little kid bragging about sleeping in a race car bed. STFU you little idiot, I don't even have a car.
What do the measles and pedophiles have in common? They’re both inside of little kids
Priests should be called night lights... cause little kids turn them on.
What happens when the world’s powerful diddle little kids? Jeffery Epstein commits suicide in jail so loose ends can be cut.
Beware: This was a Joke I made when I was a Little Kid
Why can't you build an acidic tower?
It would have no base.
I miss being a little kid on Halloween Unfortunately I got in a little trouble for that last year
As a little kid, my teacher once said "If you can't say something nice, then say nothing at all." So I said, "Okay. Your voice sounds really pretty when you say that steaming bullshit."
So a child predator and a little kid are walking into the woods... as they get deeper and deeper the kid looks up and says, "I'm getting scared". The predator looks at him and says, "You? I'm the one that has to walk out of here all by myself"!