Little Kid Jokes

Funny Little Kid Jokes
Score: 433

I was at an atm and some little kid asked me to help him check his balance ... So I pushed him over

Score: 355

Whats common between dark jokes and little kids with cancer... They never get old.

Score: 88

When I was a little kid, I had this friend that was always counting. I wonder what he's up to these days.

Score: 75

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry? My donation check to the orphanage.

Score: 44

When I was a little kid, my dad would swear then say "Excuse my French" One day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and I raised my hand

Score: 31

Harambe Memes died just like Harambe himself... When the little kids jumped in.

Score: 29

I saw 4 people beating up a little kid so I decided to help He didn't stand a chance against 5 of us

Score: 23

What do little kids call trail mix? M&M’s with *obstacles*.

Score: 20

What do you call little kids in Belgium? Brusselsprouts

Score: 15

Little kids will do anything for five bucks. Just ask a Chinese factory

Score: 14

Yesterday I saw a little kid who kept refusing to go home for a nap. He was resisting a rest.

Score: 14

Old joke (1930s) - Little kid comes in late to school. Teacher says, "Why ya late?"... Kid says, "Had a take a heifer down—get 'er bred."

Teacher says, "Couldn't your father do it?"

Kid says, "Sure he could, but not as good as the bull."

Score: 13

I saw 4 gang members beating up a little kid So I decided to step in, there's no chance he can take all 5 of us.

Score: 12

What do you call a little kid with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

Score: 11

When I was a little kid, I would wait up all night waiting for santa to come. Then there was an awkward silence when he got up, put his pants on, and left.

Score: 11

Saw a little kid getting bashed by 2 men on the street, so I stopped to help. He didn't stand a chance against the 3 of us

Score: 11

Little kid ask His dad: daddy what is MACHO? Dad:
its a person who is in charge, makes desicions, gives orders and everyone around obeys those orders.
When I grow up I want to be a real macho just like Mom.

Score: 10

This little kid at the shops an hour ago: Why was Tigger in the bathroom for so long? He had Pooh inside him..

I laughed which made the little fellas day.

Score: 10

Heard this joke from a little kid. Why was the broken phonograph in the Hall of Fame? Because it broke all the records.

Score: 8

When i was a little kid my parents changed houses a lot. But I always found them.

Score: 8

A guy and a little kid are walking into the woods... Kid say to the guy "but I'm scared of the dark"
Guy says "you think your scared I'm the one that has to walk out of here alone"

Score: 7

I was walking down the street the other day and I saw 4 guys ganging up on a little kid I walked right on past because I figured reposting would be a bigger crime than helping beat the kid up.

Score: 7

A little kid swallows 6 plastic horses... It’s Ok
His condition is stable

Score: 7

2 little kids, Billy and Tom, are goofing around in a cannibal village. Billys mum sticks her head out and yells... "Billy, stop playing with your food!"

Score: 5

Little kids are like fidget spinners They're overhyped.

Oh yeah and they spin easier when you stick something metal through them.

Score: 5

I saw a little kid crying. He told me he lost the $200 he had saved for his mom's birthday gift. So I opened my wallet and gave him $40 Why not? Just five minutes earlier, I found ten $20 bills!

Score: 5

I asked a little kid what he wanted to be when he grew up Kid: “I want to be a raper!”

Me: “Haha, do you mean a rapper?”

Kid:”Take off your pants”

Score: 4

Heard a little kid telling this joke to his friend but failed to catch the punch line. What do you call a stripper that lives under water?

Score: 3

I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn’t serious. Nobody saw me.

Anthony Jeselnik.

Score: 3

What's the difference difference between Hitler and a little kid? Hitler didn't get a medal for trying to finish a race.

Score: 3

A little kid told me this joke one time and I thought it was genius. “Why was the clown sad?”

“Idk why?....”

“Cause he got shot in the face...”

Score: 2

When I was a little kid, I used to look up to my father. What am I supposed to do? Look down? He was a meter taller than me!

Score: 2

So a child predator and a little kid are walking into the woods... as they get deeper and deeper the kid looks up and says, "I'm getting scared". The predator looks at him and says, "You? I'm the one that has to walk out of here all by myself"!

Score: 1

Beware: This was a Joke I made when I was a Little Kid Why can't you build an acidic tower?


It would have no base.

Score: 1

What happens when the world’s powerful diddle little kids? Jeffery Epstein commits suicide in jail so loose ends can be cut.

Score: 1

Priests should be called night lights... cause little kids turn them on.

Score: 1

This little kid bragging about sleeping in a race car bed. STFU you little idiot, I don't even have a car.

Score: 1

Courtesy of a little kid in Hebrew school: What do Israelis do in the summer? They fly kaitz

Score: 0

What do the measles and pedophiles have in common? They’re both inside of little kids

Score: 0

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