Walk Into A Bar Jokes

Contents

Funniest Walk Into A Bar Jokes

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar You can't tell me that's just a coincidence .

Score: 24914
Funny Walk Into A Bar Jokes
Score: 21665

A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar and order drinks. "We don't sell alcohol to anyone under 18", says bartender.

Score: 16313

An infinite number of people walk into a bar... The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer...


The bartender pulls out two beers and tells them to know their limits.

Score: 11990

Joke I made up: Caveman and a bear walk into a bar. Bartender says "what's your story?" Caveman says... Bear with me...

Score: 11974

A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Ceasar walk into a bar. He came, he saw, he conquered.

Score: 6013

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar... An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar...

The Englishman wanted to go so they all had to leave.

Score: 2342

Two fat ladies walk into a bar They order drinks, in a thick accent.

"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.

Offended, one of them replies "Wales!"

"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"

Score: 2313

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Northern Irishman walk into a bar The Englishman wants to leave, so they all have to.

Score: 2011

A feminist and a Muslim walk into a bar. - comedy removed due to complaints -

Score: 1694

An ego and a superego walk into a bar. The bartender says "I'll have to see some id"

Score: 1615

Two blondes walk into a bar You’d think the second one would have ducked

Score: 1438

An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walk into a bar I know because they told me.

Score: 1413

(Nerdy joke) Two chicks walk into a bar... Two chicks walk into a bar. One says to the other,"Have you ever heard of the Bechdel test?" The other says,"Yeah, my boyfriend was telling me about it the other day."

Score: 1331

An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walk into a bar... I only know because they told everyone within two minutes.

Score: 1321

A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar And that was just the first guy

Score: 1099

Three logicians walk into a bar.. The bartender asks, "would all three of you like some beer?"

The first one replies,"I don't know"

The second one replies, "I don't know either"

The third replies, "Yes all three of us would like a beer"

Score: 964

George R. R. Martin, Patrick Rothfuss, and Scott Lynch walk into a bar I'll finish writing the rest of this joke soon.

Score: 960

A black man and an autistic man walk into a bar The autistic man orders a shot, but the black man gets it instead

Score: 860

Three feminists walk into a bar. They look at one another and say, "Hooray! We've taken over a male-dominated joke format!"

Score: 835

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman.

Score: 821

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian, an Asian women and a girl in a wheel chair walk into a bar They are celebrating being on the cover of a middle school math book

Score: 650

Sixteen sodiums walk into a bar... ...followed by Batman.

Score: 642

Three logicians walk into a bar The bartender asks: "Do you all want a drink?"

The first logician says: "I don't know."

The second logician says: "I don't know."

The third logician says: "Yes."

Score: 559

A Cuban, a Canadian, and a white supremacist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Ah, Senator Cruz, what are you having?"

Score: 557

Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a bar. The bartender says: "OH SNaP"

Score: 501

A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar... The Hobbit laughs and walks under it.

Score: 499

Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Do all of you want a drink?" The first logician says, "I don't know."
The second logician says, "I don't know."
The third logician says, "Yes!"

Score: 422

A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"

Score: 389

The Minnesota Vikings walk into a bar To watch the Super Bowl

Score: 361

A vegan, a girl with a boyfriend and a student walk into a bar.. Who tells you first?

Score: 130

A crossfitter, an atheist, and a vegan walk into a bar I only know because they told everyone.

Score: 90

An atheist, a vegan, and a cross fit enthusiast walk into a bar. And everyone knows because he won't shut up about it.

Score: 45

Two bacteria walk into a bar, then into the staff area. The barman says “get out!”

The bacteria say “don’t worry, we’re staph”

Score: 15

An atheist and a vegan walk into a bar... The only reason I know this is because they both told everybody.

Score: 13

Water and heat walk into a bar... It was steamy..

Score: 10

So a man and a giraffe walk into a bar... and drink until the giraffe passes out. The man goes to leave and the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there!" Man says, "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

Score: 10

One hundred bacteria walk into a bar... of soap and get eradicated. There is only one survivor.

Score: 9

A Republican, a Democrat, a Communist, a priest, a rabbi, an Imam, an African, a Caucasian, an Asian, a horse, a giraffe, an elephant, a fairy, an elf, and an unicorn walk into a bar... The bar tender looks up

"What is this? A joke?"

Score: 8

Thor and Pikachu walk into a bar and get in a fight with the bartender. They were both overcharged.

Score: 7

Popular Topics

New Walk Into A Bar Jokes

A Russian agent, a white supremacist, a misogynist and a con-man walk into a bar The barman asks, ‘What’ll it be Mr President?’

Score: 3

A Pittsburg Steelers fan and his wife, cousin, and sister walk into a bar. Only 2 people walked in.

Score: 3

A Czech, a Russian, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. No one remembers much after that...

Score: 0

A conservative, a guns-rights activist, a pro-life demonstrator and a Trum supporter walk into a bar. The bartender says: \- I'm sorry, gentlemen! The nursing home is right across the road.

Score: 0

Rabbi, priest and pastor walk into a bar and bartender says "what is this, some kind of joke?"

Score: 1

An athiest, vegan, and cross fit mother walk into a bar. We know this because they all announced it during their first five words they said to anyone


My friend told me this and I laughed so hard

Score: 1

A Jew and a donkey walk into a bar Punchline is same as joke #267

Score: 1

Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". The next whale says, "Shut up, Steve. You're drunk."

Score: 0

A Marine and a SEAL walk into a bar... The Marine gets a beer

The SEAL gets a book deal

Score: 1

A bunch of law school students walk into a bar exam.

“Law school has prepared you for this” said the proctor.

Score: 2

A vegan, an atheist and a mobile dev walk into a bar You might have already noticed that...

Score: 2

An Atheist, a Christian and a Buddhist all walk into a bar. What a diverse neighborhood.

Score: 1

A black guy and his parrot walk into a bar The bartender says wow that's really cool where did you get it

The parrot says Africa

Score: 6

An Australian, New Zealander and a South African walk into a bar and each order a beer. Bartender: Sorry, we don’t serve Bears 🐻

Score: 2

The Avengers and Thanos walk into a bar... Walks into a bar

Score: 1

A priest, a monk and a rabbi walk into a bar. Ow!

Ow!

Oy!

Score: 7

13 left handed belt buckles walk into a bar... ....bartender picks up the phone, looks at the 5th left handed belt buckle in line and says "well ill be damned, if it isnt one ball bill"

Score: 1

[Gaming] Ekko, Tracer and Maxine Caulfield walk into a bar. Ekko, Tracer and Maxine Caulfield walk into a bar.

Score: 1

An Irish man, a woman, and PETA walk into a bar. Whoops, sorry the joke already got stolen and euthanized by PETA.

Score: 3

A conservatives and a liberals walk into a bar Atleast that's what they tell everybody 10 seconds after they entered the bar

Score: 0

A battery, a mule, and a fish walk into a bar. The mule orders a beer. "I'm off the wagon," he explains.

The battery orders a juice. "AA all the way," it says.

"And for you, sir?" The bartender asks the fish. "Water," it croaks, and collapses.

Score: 2

A woman and a goose walk into a bar The bartender asks, "Why did you bring the pig into the bar?"
The woman answers, "Why, I do believe this is a goose not a pig!"
The bartender says, "I was talking to the goose!"

Score: 3

Two 15 year old boys walk into a bar... They're both refused service for being underaged.

Score: 1

An atheist, a feminist, and a Trump supporter walk into a bar I know because they each told me within the first 10 seconds of meeting them.

Score: 1

Three recovering gambling addicts walk into a bar. What are the odds?

Score: 1

A blond, a rabbi, a schoolkid, a lawyer, a prostitute, the pope, a pirate and George Bush walk into a bar... The bartender says:

Is this a joke?

Score: 5

It's better to read this aloud A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
The giraffe falls asleep on the floor.
The bartender asks the man "What's that lyin' there?".
The man says "That's not a lion, that's a giraffe.".

Score: 1

A blonde, a drunk, a liar, and a loser walk into a bar to order a couple drinks... The bartender says: "There's my favorite customer! What will it be this time Ms. Clinton?"

Edit: Hahaha everyone's so butthurt. It's just a joke...

Score: 5

A Christian, a Jew, and a Black Guy walk into a bar. They all sit quietly and watch the Cleveland Browns game.

Score: 2

An autistic and a vegan walk into a bar You only know because they mention it every other sentence

Score: 2

Chris Brown and Ray Rice and walk into a bar... I'd tell you the rest of the joke, but they beat me to the punchline.

Score: 1

A giraffe is the only animal that can walk into a bar and say ... ' The Highballs are on me'

Score: 1

A vegan, a gap year student and a girl with a boyfriend walk into a bar Who tells you first?

Score: 3

A feminist, a fat person and a Hitler walk into a bar... Feminism is bad.

Score: 2

An Irishman, a Mexican, and a Texan walk into a bar. I wish I had friends to go to the bar with.

Score: 5

A crossdresser, a vegan and an athiest walk into a bar I only know because it's reposted every week

Score: 5

A vegan and a crossfit walk into a bar A vegan and a crossfit walk into a bar. how do i know that it was a vegan and a crossfit? they told everyone

Score: 1

An atheist, a vegan, and a marathon runner walk into a bar... I only know because they told everyone within two minutes.

Score: 3

A vegan, an atheist and a person who does cross fit walk into a bar... And within 5 seconds I know all of this because they won't stop telling everyone.

Score: 2

A Presbyterian, a lawyer, a blonde, and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "What is this, some kind of joke?"

Score: 2

A blonde, brunette, and a red head walk into a bar Wow, these are great binoculars!

Score: 5

Popular Topics