Dry Jokes

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Funniest Dry Jokes

Funny Dry Jokes
Score: 11879

What did people say when the inventor of the Dry Erase Board showed off his new invention. That's Remarkable!

Terrible joke, came to me on the toilet early, but I had to say it. And it's also likely be told in some form before.

Score: 1143

What's the leading cause of dry skin ...towels
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Score: 894

What is the number one cause of dry skin? Towels.

Score: 829

My German friend told me to pick him up dry wine. I brought the bottle to his house and he said, "Thanks, where are the other two?"

Score: 328

A woman walks into a dry cleaner... and says "I've got another dress for you"
The man behind the counter, whose a little hard of hearing, reply "come again?"
The woman responds with "No this time its mustard"

Score: 326

Your favorite drink must be ginger ale..... cause you leave every girl in Canada Dry.

Score: 240

I just got a new dry erase board it's remarkable!

Score: 178

A lady walks into a dry cleaners... ...she's carrying a beautiful black dress. She tells the clerk, "I'll need to pick this up tomorrow."

The clerk, hard of hearing and distracted, innocently asks, "come again?"

Unfazed, she replies, "No. Vanilla ice cream this time."

Score: 162

If you leave a grape out in the sun, it'll shrivel and dry up... Just raisin awareness

Score: 157

What is the leading cause in dry skin? Towels.

Score: 156

A young woman walks into a dry cleaner She asks the elderly owner inspecting her blouse how long it would take to clean.
Hard of hearing the man asks, "come again?"

She responds, "No, it's yogurt"

Score: 153

Former president Clinton Walks into a dry cleaner with a suit,

"I'm in a hurry can I get this by 3 today?"

The clerk, preoccupied, quickly looked up and asked "come again?"

"No, it was mustard this time."

Score: 139

A girl walks into a dry cleaner She goes inside to drop off her blouse. Before she leaves the owner says, "Come again!". The girl replied, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

Score: 125

Dry Cleaning Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, "I've got another dress for you to clean."

Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"

"No," says Monica. "Mustard this time."

Score: 124

Dry cleaners. A hot blond walks into a Dry cleaners. She tells the teller "I need to get a stain removed from my sweater. The teller being a little hard of hearing asks "Come again?" To which she replied " No, its mustard."

Score: 118

A blonde drops off her dress at the dry cleaners, The dry cleaner says come again
The blonde says it’s toothpaste this time

Score: 114

What gets wetter the more you dry it? A woman with a towel fetish

Score: 109

If towels could tell jokes... They'd probably have a dry sense of humor.

Score: 105

I love dry erase boards... They're remarkable.

Score: 91

I got a new dry erase board at work It's remarkable

Score: 83

A German asks for a martini… "Dry?" asks the bartender.

The German, confused: "No, just one."

Score: 78

If towels told jokes… They'd probably have a very dry sense of humor.

Score: 73

Monica Lewinsky walks into a cleaners.... with a dress and yells at the old owner who is hard of hearing

"I need to dry clean my dress"

The owner cups his hand next to his ear

"come again"

"No it's ketchup this time"

Score: 68

So a guy asks me why I've been letting my grapes dry out... and so I told him "I have my raisins."

Score: 68

Two police officers walk into a crime scene. They see two people lying dead on the floor. The victims are holding a piece of weed each. Their eyes are red and their skin is dry.

One officer turns to the other and says: "Looks like a joint suicide."

Score: 62

A German walks into a bar and orders a martini, the bartender asks "dry?" The German says "Nein, just one"

Score: 58

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners The lady says, "Come Again!"

The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste

Score: 56

German guy walks into bar A German guy and his beautiful date sit down at a bar

He asks the bartender for a couple of martinis

The bartender ask "Dry?"

The German replies, "Nein, zwei."

Score: 50

What's the number one cause of dry skin? Towels.

Score: 45

Why would a grape ever intentionally dry up? They have their raisins...

Score: 16

How do you hold an umbrella for a feminist without offending said feminist? She doesn't need one. The glass ceiling keeps her dry.

Score: 7

There's only one kind of humor in Africa... Dry humor.

Score: 6

Do you know the biggest cause of dry skin? Towels.

Score: 6

What do you call Justin Bieber's singing? Canada Dry.

Score: 4

What do you call a Wednesday and it’s not raining Dry hump day!

Score: 4

Why does a squirrel swim on him back? To keep his nuts dry

Score: 4

My wife is like a desert wind She rarely blows, but when she does it's dry.

Score: 3

Any love for a dry sense of humor? This was my grandpas all time favorite joke of all time, and when he would tell it he would laugh uncontrollably for a solid 2 minutes.

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick!

Score: 2

LPT: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.

Score: 2

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New Dry Jokes

What goes in dry and comes out wet? The longer its in the stronger it gets? What am i? A tea bag you filthy animals....

Score: 0

I got to the UK with a ship. When I reached Cheriton, I had to dry off the wool.

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humour and beverage There was this Irishman who saw an advertising sign that said "Drink Canada Dry" so he went

Score: 2

It was my very first day as a bartender. A man comes up to bar and says, "I'll take a dry martini."

I look at all the drinks behind the counter, then look back at him and say, "I don't know how to tell you this..."

Score: 1

What did the streetfood vendor say to the wholesaler, when asked why the bread tasted old and dry?


"That's Naan of your business!"

Score: 0

You know what they say about dry humor... It's dry.

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What do you call it when a programmer tells you the same joke more than once? DRY humor!

Score: 2

Why are Boy Scouts safest when travelling with a senior? They'll always have dry wood on hand to start a fire

- this came to me in a dream... maybe it should have stayed there? *shrugs*

Score: 1

What do you get when you dry out a Stark? Raisin Bran

Score: 2

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