Dry Jokes


Funniest Dry Jokes

Funny Dry Jokes
Score: 11879

What did people say when the inventor of the Dry Erase Board showed off his new invention. That's Remarkable!

Terrible joke, came to me on the toilet early, but I had to say it. And it's also likely be told in some form before.

Score: 1143

What's the leading cause of dry skin ...towels

Score: 894

What is the number one cause of dry skin? Towels.

Score: 829

My German friend told me to pick him up dry wine. I brought the bottle to his house and he said, "Thanks, where are the other two?"

Score: 328

A woman walks into a dry cleaner... and says "I've got another dress for you"
The man behind the counter, whose a little hard of hearing, reply "come again?"
The woman responds with "No this time its mustard"

Score: 326

Your favorite drink must be ginger ale..... cause you leave every girl in Canada Dry.

Score: 240

I just got a new dry erase board it's remarkable!

Score: 178

A lady walks into a dry cleaners... ...she's carrying a beautiful black dress. She tells the clerk, "I'll need to pick this up tomorrow."

The clerk, hard of hearing and distracted, innocently asks, "come again?"

Unfazed, she replies, "No. Vanilla ice cream this time."

Score: 162

If you leave a grape out in the sun, it'll shrivel and dry up... Just raisin awareness

Score: 157

What is the leading cause in dry skin? Towels.

Score: 156

A young woman walks into a dry cleaner She asks the elderly owner inspecting her blouse how long it would take to clean.
Hard of hearing the man asks, "come again?"

She responds, "No, it's yogurt"

Score: 153

Former president Clinton Walks into a dry cleaner with a suit,

"I'm in a hurry can I get this by 3 today?"

The clerk, preoccupied, quickly looked up and asked "come again?"

"No, it was mustard this time."

Score: 139

A girl walks into a dry cleaner She goes inside to drop off her blouse. Before she leaves the owner says, "Come again!". The girl replied, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

Score: 125

Dry Cleaning Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, "I've got another dress for you to clean."

Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"

"No," says Monica. "Mustard this time."

Score: 124

Dry cleaners. A hot blond walks into a Dry cleaners. She tells the teller "I need to get a stain removed from my sweater. The teller being a little hard of hearing asks "Come again?" To which she replied " No, its mustard."

Score: 118

A blonde drops off her dress at the dry cleaners, The dry cleaner says come again
The blonde says it’s toothpaste this time

Score: 114

What gets wetter the more you dry it? A woman with a towel fetish

Score: 109

If towels could tell jokes... They'd probably have a dry sense of humor.

Score: 105

I love dry erase boards... They're remarkable.

Score: 91

I got a new dry erase board at work It's remarkable

Score: 83

A German asks for a martini… "Dry?" asks the bartender.

The German, confused: "No, just one."

Score: 78

If towels told jokes… They'd probably have a very dry sense of humor.

Score: 73

Monica Lewinsky walks into a cleaners.... with a dress and yells at the old owner who is hard of hearing

"I need to dry clean my dress"

The owner cups his hand next to his ear

"come again"

"No it's ketchup this time"

Score: 68

So a guy asks me why I've been letting my grapes dry out... and so I told him "I have my raisins."

Score: 68

Two police officers walk into a crime scene. They see two people lying dead on the floor. The victims are holding a piece of weed each. Their eyes are red and their skin is dry.

One officer turns to the other and says: "Looks like a joint suicide."

Score: 62

A German walks into a bar and orders a martini, the bartender asks "dry?" The German says "Nein, just one"

Score: 58

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners The lady says, "Come Again!"

The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste

Score: 56

German guy walks into bar A German guy and his beautiful date sit down at a bar

He asks the bartender for a couple of martinis

The bartender ask "Dry?"

The German replies, "Nein, zwei."

Score: 50

What's the number one cause of dry skin? Towels.

Score: 45

A girl walks into the dry cleaner. She drops off her blouse and leaves. The owner says, "Come again!". She replies, "No, this time it's toothpaste."

Score: 30

My job is sectioning and dehydrating organic materials. It may sound complicated, but it's actually cut and dry.

Score: 20

Why would a grape ever intentionally dry up? They have their raisins...

Score: 16

you'd think a discussion about water would be boring but it's never a dry subject

Score: 16

I like my jokes how I like my laundry Dry.

Score: 15

A German man walks into a bar... and orders a Martini.

The barman asks:


The German replies:

"No, just one, thank you."

Score: 14

A guy fell in a puddle Everybody was laughing but i have a dry sense of humor

Score: 11

What goes in dry and hard, but comes out wet and soft? Chewing gum.

Score: 10

A german walks into a bar and orders one martini. The bartender asks:
The German replies
"No, one you dumbass!"

Score: 8

What is the leading cause of dry skin? Towels.

Score: 8

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New Dry Jokes

What do you call a dehydrated camel? A dry hump

Score: 5

What goes in dry and comes out wet? The longer its in the stronger it gets? What am i? A tea bag you filthy animals....

Score: 0

I got to the UK with a ship. When I reached Cheriton, I had to dry off the wool.

Score: 0

What do you call a Wednesday and it’s not raining Dry hump day!

Score: 4

humour and beverage There was this Irishman who saw an advertising sign that said "Drink Canada Dry" so he went

Score: 2

What does an oyster use when its shell is dry? Oysterizer

Score: 5

Do you know the biggest cause of dry skin? Towels.

Score: 6

It was my very first day as a bartender. A man comes up to bar and says, "I'll take a dry martini."

I look at all the drinks behind the counter, then look back at him and say, "I don't know how to tell you this..."

Score: 1

Why does a squirrel swim on him back? To keep his nuts dry

Score: 4

What did the streetfood vendor say to the wholesaler, when asked why the bread tasted old and dry?

"That's Naan of your business!"

Score: 0

Why Do Squirrels Swim On Their Back? To Keep Their Nuts Dry. (Told in school assembly today by a 13 year old student)

Score: 1

What's the difference between a fancy vacuum and a flaky offspring? One's a Dyson, the other is a dry son.

Score: 1

Why do Otters swim on their backs? To keep their nuts dry.

Score: 2

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator...

*dry humor is dry*

Score: 4

My redhead friend named Albert drinks Canada Dry every day I call him Ginger Al

Score: 5

Romanian (dry) joke Two submarines meet:
"How much?"
"What 7?"
"What 'how much'?"

Score: 1

Why did the blackboard sue the dry erase marker? Because the dry erase marker would only work with the whiteboard.

Score: 2

I was talking to the man at the dry cleaners. I said, "Can I drop my trousers here tomorrow?"

He said, "Of course."

I'm now banned for indecent exposure.

Score: 3

I was talking to the man at the dry cleaners. I said, "May I drop my trousers here tomorrow?"
He said, "Of course."
I'm now banned for indecent exposure.

Score: 2

You know what they say about dry humor... It's dry.

Score: 0

I saw a sign that said "Drink Canada Dry" Just finished the Maritimes, now I'm making my way west

Score: 1

Dry heaving is like throwing up, but... Your body literally gets nothing out of it.

Score: 1

Why are differential equation courses so dry? Because the problems are all about losing liquids at varying rates.

Score: 5

What's dry and hard when it goes in But wet and floppy when it comes out?

A Tea Bag!

Score: 2

What do you call it when a programmer tells you the same joke more than once? DRY humor!

Score: 2

Why did the squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry. ;)

Score: 2

John wanted to take a shower at his mates His mate says "did you find the shampoo?"

John replies "Yes, but it says 'For Dry Hair' and I've just wet mine!"

Score: 2

Life Pro Tip Make sure you always blow dry your hair, it gives you an extra couple minutes to cry once you're out of the shower!

Score: 3

I sang Danny Boy at the nursing home the other day There wasn't a dry seat in the house.

Score: 5

I had to fire the guy who installed dry wall in my house. He screwed up the ceiling.

Score: 4

I heard people talking on the street today, they were saying that we should dry George W Bush in concrete But I think that's setting a bad president

Score: 1

I was recently asked about the dry erase board i bought Remarkable.

Score: 2

John was taking a shower John: Mum can you bring me the shampoo?
*Mum brings him the shampoo*
John: Mum can you bring me some other shampoo?
Mum: I just brought you one.
John: This one is dry hair only, I've already wet mine.

Score: 2

A dry salad is an issue That definitely needs a dressing

Score: 4

When I started dating my girlfriend I was worried about telling her I had addiction, I used to eat dry crackers all day long It was hard to swallow but she stood by me and helped me through it

Score: 3

What do you call two nerds dry humping on the couch? Science friction.

Score: 7

A guy walks into a dry cleaner ... 'Sorry mum, I didn't see you there!'

Score: 2

Wanna hear the best Irish joke ever? Dry weather.

Score: 2

LPT: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.

Score: 2

Why are Boy Scouts safest when travelling with a senior? They'll always have dry wood on hand to start a fire

- this came to me in a dream... maybe it should have stayed there? *shrugs*

Score: 1

A friend insisted I should drink Canady Dry. Three weeks later I must admit I failed miserably.

Score: 5

What goes in dry, but comes out hard and wet? A Teabag.

Score: 1

Why did the comedian mermaid die ? Because it had a dry sense of humor .

Score: 3

What does 100% humidity mean? Even dry farts feel like wet farts.

Score: 5

I have Tindr hair.... It's messy, dry, and I swipe it to the right hoping for good looking results.

Score: 1

What do you call Justin Bieber's singing? Canada Dry.

Score: 4

What do you call humor without lube? *Dry*

Score: 1

Any love for a dry sense of humor? This was my grandpas all time favorite joke of all time, and when he would tell it he would laugh uncontrollably for a solid 2 minutes.

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick!

Score: 2

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