Dry Jokes

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Funniest Dry Jokes

Funny Dry Jokes
Score: 11879

Out of all the inventions in the last 100 years The dry erase board is probably the most remarkable

Score: 3147

What did people say when the inventor of the Dry Erase Board showed off his new invention. That's Remarkable!

Terrible joke, came to me on the toilet early, but I had to say it. And it's also likely be told in some form before.

Score: 1143

What's the leading cause of dry skin ...towels
Credits:dads

Score: 894

What is the number one cause of dry skin? Towels.

Score: 829

My German friend told me to pick him up dry wine. I brought the bottle to his house and he said, "Thanks, where are the other two?"

Score: 328

A woman walks into a dry cleaner... and says "I've got another dress for you"
The man behind the counter, whose a little hard of hearing, reply "come again?"
The woman responds with "No this time its mustard"

Score: 326

I just got a new dry erase board it's remarkable!

Score: 178

If you leave a grape out in the sun, it'll shrivel and dry up... Just raisin awareness

Score: 157

What is the leading cause in dry skin? Towels.

Score: 156

A young woman walks into a dry cleaner She asks the elderly owner inspecting her blouse how long it would take to clean.
Hard of hearing the man asks, "come again?"

She responds, "No, it's yogurt"

Score: 153

Former president Clinton Walks into a dry cleaner with a suit,

"I'm in a hurry can I get this by 3 today?"

The clerk, preoccupied, quickly looked up and asked "come again?"

"No, it was mustard this time."

Score: 139

I've found dry erase boards to be remarkable. I've found dry erase boards to be remarkable.

Score: 136

A girl walks into a dry cleaner She goes inside to drop off her blouse. Before she leaves the owner says, "Come again!". The girl replied, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

Score: 125

Dry Cleaning Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, "I've got another dress for you to clean."

Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"

"No," says Monica. "Mustard this time."

Score: 124

Dry cleaners. A hot blond walks into a Dry cleaners. She tells the teller "I need to get a stain removed from my sweater. The teller being a little hard of hearing asks "Come again?" To which she replied " No, its mustard."

Score: 118

A blonde drops off her dress at the dry cleaners, The dry cleaner says come again
The blonde says it’s toothpaste this time

Score: 114

What gets wetter the more you dry it? A woman with a towel fetish

Score: 109

If towels could tell jokes... They'd probably have a dry sense of humor.

Score: 105

I love dry erase boards... They're remarkable.

Score: 91

I got a new dry erase board at work It's remarkable

Score: 83

If towels told jokes… They'd probably have a very dry sense of humor.

Score: 73

Monica Lewinsky walks into a cleaners.... with a dress and yells at the old owner who is hard of hearing

"I need to dry clean my dress"

The owner cups his hand next to his ear

"come again"

"No it's ketchup this time"

Score: 68

So a guy asks me why I've been letting my grapes dry out... and so I told him "I have my raisins."

Score: 68

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners The lady says, "Come Again!"

The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste

Score: 56

What's the number one cause of dry skin? Towels.

Score: 45

If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice... At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.

Score: 45

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners The lady says, "Come Again!" The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

Score: 45

A dslexic man walked into a bra. His wife's washing was hanging out to dry and he wasn't looking where he was going. The man's dyslexia was admittedly pretty irrelevant to the event.

Score: 40

A lady goes into the dry cleaners Lady: "I was wondering if you could get this stain out of my blouse"

The Clerk: "Come again?"

Lady: "No, this time it's just yogurt"

Score: 36

I'm banned from my local dry cleaner All I did was ask them if I could drop my pants and jacket off

Score: 35

A man goes to the dry cleaner’s and says, “Hey buddy, can I get this dress cleaned?” Dry cleaner guy, taking off his earphones: Come again?

Man: No, mustard.

Score: 35

I remember when I first used a dry erase board. I thought, "this is remarkable!"

Score: 34

I'm a recovering swimming addict... I've been dry 6 months now.

Score: 32

I tried to be a tap dancer but I kept falling in the sink!

(thank you, british uncle ken for that dry humor)

Score: 32

A blonde drops her dress off at the dry cleaners. "Thank you" said the assistant "come again" "No" said the blonde "it's toothpaste this time"

Score: 30

A girl walks into the dry cleaner. She drops off her blouse and leaves. The owner says, "Come again!". She replies, "No, this time it's toothpaste."

Score: 30

Dry Cleaners A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners


The lady says, "Come Again!"


The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

Score: 30

My 4 yo sister came to me and told this joke? Why didn’t the ocean dry up?

Because it didn’t have a towel.

Score: 29

My wife has really dry skin My wife has really dry skin so I asked my doctor what I could do about it.
He said, "Give her a milk bath."
I said, "Pasteurized?"
The doctor replied, "No, just up to her knees will do."

Score: 28

My friend told me I don't understand irony. Which is ironic, because we were in a dry cleaner at the time.

Score: 24

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New Dry Jokes

The Sahara's trendiest neighbourhood has a new shop. Store in a cool dry place.

Score: 3

FINALLY! BLONDE MEN JOKES: A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers "Yes but I'm not sure what to do...it's for dry hair and I just wet mine."

Score: 8

A local electrician was arrested and charged for battery, yesterday. And spent the night in a dry cell.

Score: 8

what do you call a witch in the desert? Dry spell!!!!

Score: 1

I finally thought of a joke with just the right amount of dry humor I’ll post it soon

Score: 2

Wanna hear a dry joke? Sand.

Score: 1

John Malkovich is like a comedy towel. Everything he touches becomes dry humor

Score: 3

I am Count Dracula and I will suck you dry Oh yes? and what about your cheeky sister?

Score: 2

What’s the opposite of a wet nurse? A dry Doc.

Score: 5

I don’t know much about the cannabis industry But I heard it’s pretty cut and dry

Score: 1

I've dry skin & a friend suggested that I use Shea Butter, but I can't do that Cuz I'm Sunni.

Score: 2

What goes in dry and comes out wet? The longer its in the stronger it gets? What am i? A tea bag you filthy animals....

Score: 3

I got to the UK with a ship. When I reached Cheriton, I had to dry off the wool.

Score: 2

How do you wash a waterproof rain jacket? Dry clean it

Score: 2

Putting the new dry cleaner shop next to the Planned Parenthood was probably a bad idea. All those discarded wire hangers in the dumpster aren’t helping the cause.

Score: 2

A blonde woman is in the shower and her husband shouts, "Did you find the shampoo?" She replies, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do. It says it's for dry hair and I just wet mine."

Score: 2

How do you know if you got the virus from Donald Trump? You develop a dry covfefe

Score: 5

I had a hot date with a chef last night She gave my meat a dry rub.

Score: 1

I'm running a low fever and have a slight, dry cough. But don't worry It's just Corona Lite.

Score: 8

What’s dry before it goes in, and wet when it comes out? A tea bag.

Score: 2

The dry cleaners near my place have a new guy now. His only job is to count all the t-shirts that come in and go out. Wierd looking guy, but not on drugs or anything.

In fact, I have a hunch he's a tee-totaller.

Score: 2

My girlfriend needed a laugh so I took her to a desert. She loves dry humor.

Score: 1

What goes in stiff and dry and comes out wet and floppy. A tea bag.

Score: 4

How do you dry a monk? With a tao

Score: 10

There's a new drinking game that you can play. You can only take a shot when Manchester United do.

It's called dry January.

Score: 10

I would tell you a joke about Nebraska But it's too corny.

If you like dry humor though, I have a good one about Arizona!

Score: 15

What's the first thing you dry when you get out of the shower? The water.

Score: 2

Dry January You can say what you want, but dry January is quite a success in Australia

Score: 2

You know what grinds my gear? Dry humping

Score: 3

Why did the invention of the dry erase board amaze the world? Because it was re-markable

Score: 23

A woman walks into the dry cleaners... When she gets inside she asks the cleaning lady to get out the stain on her dress.
“Come again?” The cleaning lady says
“No, it’s just ranch dressing this time”

Score: 4

I told my friend a joke about a desert, but he didn't laugh. I guess some people just don't understand dry humor.

Score: 3

The cowboy enters the saloon -Who painted my horse blue??

A huge guy stands up, and walks right into the cowboy's face.

-It was me, you have a problem with that?

-I just wanted to let you know that it's dry and ready for the second coating.

Score: 3

When the cows are dead, and you have dry bread, who you gonna call? Goat's Butter!

Score: 1

Why is Australia such a dry country? Because there is no king or queen to reign on it.

Score: 1

Blonde at the Dry Cleaners A blonde goes to the dry cleaner to have her sweater cleaned.

She asks the clerk, “How much?”

He doesn’t hear her and says, “Come again?”

She giggles and says, “No…it’s just mustard this time.”

Score: 21

What is pink, goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet ...
.....
......
.........
............
...............
Bubble gum

Score: 5

Monica Lewinsky goes to the dry cleaner. She says to the dry cleaner, “I have another dress for you Joe.”

Joe is hard of hearing and says, “come again?”

Monica says, “no, mustard this time!”

Score: 11

It’s so dry in Georgia The Baptists have started sprinkling and the Methodists are just slapping folks in the face with a wet rag.

Score: 2

Jimmy Carr was complaining that he had no mode of transport after a freak accident with a truck carrying dry fruits wrecked his Jaguar. It was Carr's Rant on a car to rent cause his current car was rent by a currant current

Score: 2

What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet? Chewing gum.

Score: 3

Why does a squirrel swim on his back? To keep his nuts dry

Score: 2

Why are ramen noodles so easy to make? It’s pretty cut and dry

Score: 1

What do you call a handjob in the desert? A Dry Rub

Score: 3

What do you call a guy who sits on a block of dry ice? Numb nuts.

Score: 3

What's the number one cause of dry skin in the US .




towels

Score: 4

I used to be addicted to swimming But I’m very proud to say I’ve been dry for 6 years now.

Score: 2

My friend said it's really difficult to make jerky... but it seems pretty cut and dry to me.

Score: 23

What do you call a Wednesday and it’s not raining Dry hump day!

Score: 4

What does Superman use to dry himself? A Tow-El.

Score: 8

What did people say when the inventor of the Dry Erase Board showed off his new invention. That's Remarkable!

​

Sorry , I know my Dad told me :(

Score: 8

Why was Snoop Dogg fired from the dry cleaners? He soaked tweed every day.

Score: 2

For the first time ever I don't have pee in my pants. I love having dry ants!

Score: 6

How do you dry a wet phone? You ring it out

Score: 2

A blonde walks into a dry cleaners and tells the woman at the counter, "I need to have an outfit washed."

The clerk was busy and slightly distracted, so she looked up from her work and said, "Come again?"

The blonde said, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

Score: 3

Towels can't tell jokes They have a dry sense of humor.

Score: 3

The Dry Erase Board may be the greatest invention of all time! It is Re-markable!

Score: 2

*Gordon Ramsey drinks water* Gordon: it's DRY

Score: 5

Why did the lawyer cross the road? To pick up his law suit from the dry cleaners.

Score: 2

Do you know the biggest cause of dry skin? Towels.

Score: 6

The liquor store ripped me off. They said they had dry wines, but they were just as wet as the other ones!

Score: 2

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