Wow Jokes

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Funniest Wow Jokes

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet... I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.

Edit:*Wow thanks for the gold

Score: 21880

TIL unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead

EDIT: Wow. Now I understand RIP inbox.

Score: 21643
Funny Wow Jokes
Score: 19437

(My first dad joke) Wife was breastfeeding Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in

Me: yeah he is really milking it

Edit: wow this blew up!
thanks for the gold!!!

Score: 17402

Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.

Score: 16182

Without the Arabs we wouldn't have 9/11. It would be IX/XI.

edit: Wow, I came back and this really blew up!

Score: 13757

My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Lamborghini. I said, "Wow, that's an amazing car!"

He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year".

Score: 11858

I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, “Wow! That could have been me!” Then I remembered I can’t drive a bus.

Score: 11756

It is unfair how for every $1 a man makes, a woman makes $0.78... Because then the man is left with only $0.22...


EDIT: Wow, this blew up on my way home.

Yes, this joke is from Bo Burnham as others have so nicely pointed out. Check out his work; he is a comedic genius.

Score: 10173

6 was afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 7 eat 9? Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.

EDIT: Wow RIP inbox, thanks for the love guys.

Score: 9148

I want to be a millionaire just like my dad!! “Wow, your dad’s a millionaire?”
“No, but he always wanted to be.”

Score: 8970

I watched the video of my wedding backwards. I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.

Wow: I made it to front page! Thanks guys!

Score: 8821

Dad: Son, you're adopted. Son: Oh wow I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents, your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

Score: 8101

Wow. The neighborhood barber just got arrested for dealing drugs. I've been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.

Score: 5938

What borders stupidity? Mexico & Canada


Edit: Wow, people can't take a joke....


Edit 2: Ayy nice flair

Score: 4245

Dad: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking sons disease I have ever seen.

Score: 3160

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? One. We are efficient and dont have humour.




Edit: Wow this blew up. As a German, I didnt expect this.

Score: 2685

Dad joke warning ⚠ Knock, knock...
Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Nope. Owl go who. Car go beep beep.

I warned you.

I won a Gold medal! Wow! Thank you /u/ArticCamels! I appreciate you... Be safe out there.

Score: 2644

I rang work and I said "I can't come in today, I have a wee cough" The boss said "You have a wee cough?"

I said "Wow, thanks boss, see you next Wednesday!"

Score: 2495

WHAT DO WE WANT?!?!! WHAT DO WE WANT?!?!?

LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES!!!

WHEN DO WE WANT ‘EM?!?!?

*NEEEEEYYYYOOOOOOOOWWWW*

Edit: Wow, this really took off.

Score: 2404

Two Police officers. Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says:

“Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site.”

Score: 2326

A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single." The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?"

Cashier: "Because you're ugly."

Score: 2309

What does a girl want more than anything in the world? Nothing. She's fine.


Edit: Wow guys. Thanks so much for the upvotes, the hilarious comments and I finally got my 1st gold!

Score: 2071

What did the burglar say when he detonated a bomb to get into Fort Knox? Edit: Wow, this blew up. Thanks for the gold!

Score: 1929

How to be insulting A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.

He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"

She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"

The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Score: 1896

I had a bukkake party last night. It was a disaster. Nobody came.


Edit: Wow! While I was gone this really...exploded.

Score: 1883

From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks? You.

Why I oughta...!

Edit: Wow, thanks for all the love. My son is quite the character and he really caught me off guard with this!

Score: 1842

When do you start on red and stop on green? When you're eating a watermelon!

Edit: wow, this is my highest rated post. Finally broke the 1000 karma barrier thank you all

Score: 1842

Nice Legs.. A man goes to a bar and sees a 'larger' girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Score: 1780

My girlfriend is like an iPhone 7. I wish I had an iPhone 7.

edit: wow really this is the best thing I've ever done huh whelp I guess it's okay to peak at 24.

Score: 1653

A teenage boy goes up to his father "Father I am not a virgin anymore"

Father: "Wow that's great! Lets sit down and drink something celebrate about this moment"

Son: "Ok, I can drink with you but I can't sit"

Score: 92

A lady at a tea shop A lady went to a tea shop and ordered a cup of tea, she has a sip, and realizes that it was amazing! She asks the owner of the place, "wow! Your tea tastes great! Why is it so good?"

The owner replies "thanks! It's my specialtea!"

Score: 68

So my dentist says to me... So my dentist says to me, "you're the cleanest patient I've had all week!"

Then I respond, "Wow I deserve a plaque!"

This literally just happened. She lost it.

Score: 57

So a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder the bartender says “Wow that’s cool! Where’d you get it” “Africa” says the parrot

Score: 30

What does a terrorist say when his post reaches the front page ? Wow, this blew up

Score: 18

There are people out there who don't know what World of Warcraft and League of Legends are WoW, LoL

Score: 18

My friend's WoW character couldn't go forward anymore. You'll never guess what he said !? " wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"

Score: 11

Our orchestra teacher told us he’d throw an instrument at us if we messed up. Wow. I can’t believe our teacher is threatening us with violins.

Score: 9

A lady comes to a writer house - Hey, how's your book writing going?

- Really well, I'm up to page 69.

- Wow, what're you writing?

- Page numbers

Score: 8

A man wake up from a coma and see that Trump is president... ... he says "Wow this is a really elaborate April fool's joke".

Score: 6

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New Wow Jokes

Wow, you guys will click on posts without titles. No wonder click bait YouTubers get so many views

Score: 0

So a Grasshopper hops into a bar... and the bartender says "Hey! we have a drink named after you!"

and the Grasshopper yells "YOU HAVE A DRINK NAMED STEVE? WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"

Score: 1

I wasn’t sure what to expect from the postman But wow did he deliver

Score: 0

Before the UFC McGregor vs Cowboy fight, I was looking at both of those beasts of men and thinking “how are we even the same species as each other?” But then one guy only lasted 40 seconds, and I was like, “Wow, we and I have so much in common!”

Score: 0

Breaking into Fort Knox must be like: Wow, this blew up. Thanks for the gold kind stranger!

Score: 1

A joke Her: Wow, you know all the right moves in bed. How's about a second go but this time lose the hat

Ratatouille hiding in my hair: Tell her your head is cold

Score: 2

Wow! You look amazing! Are you today's date? Because you're 10/10.

Score: 2

What did the man say when he broke into Fort Knox? Edit:Wow that blew up thanks for the gold!

Score: 1

The black guy with a parrot A black guy walks in a with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.

- Wow, said the bartender, - that is something really special, where did you get that?

- Africa, said the Parrot

Score: 1

I stopped a rape from happening today. My friend: wow! How did you do it?

Me: with all of my willpower.

Score: 2

Boss: Hey great job today! I’ll make sure there’s something a little different on your paycheck next week. Employee: Wow really?!

Boss: Yea, the date.

Score: 2

A black guy and his parrot walk into a bar The bartender says wow that's really cool where did you get it

The parrot says Africa

Score: 6

Wow a lot of people are talking about Chernobyl recently I think it's blown up

Score: 1

I explained to a girl in my class that I am Indian She responds by saying “wow I’ve never met a Native American before!”....

Score: 3

What did the man say after his phone exploded in his mailbox? Edit: Wow! RIP inbox! Thanks for blowing up my phone!

Score: 3

Wow, Tesla is ahead of schedule! They weren't expecting to blow up in China for the next few years!

Score: 2

You know how when you start to pee and it’s pretty clear so you’re thinking wow I’m pretty hydrated, cool! And then you keep going and it gets continuously darker and darker. This is life.

Score: 1

Tiger woods was being interviewed about his dalliances Reporter: How many women did you sleep with?
Tiger: nine.
Reporter: Wow that half a round of golf?
Tiger: Full round actually, your forgetting about the back nine.

Score: 1

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and starts reading the news on his Iphone. "Wow, 'Twister kills 15 in Oklahoma!" the guy says. "They take that game very seriously there," the bartender replies.

Score: 4

Teacher: Do you know what an esimate is? Student: Not exactly
Teacher: correct
Student: About what?
Teacher: also correct
Student: I guess
Teacher: wow you really know your stuff

Score: 3

I will never forget my daughter's words to me at her graduation. "Wow dad.. After 18 years you decide to come back..."

Score: 1

A snail bought a Tesla Model S The snail then took off driving at a high rate of speed. As he sped past a famous French restaurant, the chef exclaimed, "Wow, look at that S car go".

Score: 3

My girlfriend sent me a text saying I'm addicted to video games. All I could say was "LoL, Wow"

Score: 3

A teacher tells a student "This lab is due in two fortnights" Student: "Wow you don't come across fortnight's too often"

Teacher: "Just every two weeks"

Score: 1

I went looking at new cars today... The salesman said- "And if you buy today, you won't make a payment for six months!"

I said- "Wow! It's almost like you know me!"

Score: 3

Wow! I can't believe it's been almost a year since Harambe died. For the anniversary of his death, Cincinnati Zoo should have a sale. Discount for Harambe

Score: 5

What do you say to a nerd that broke their arm? Wow, ***algebraic*** it?

Score: 2

Let's start using better, more friendly terms for 'Crackhead', 'Methhead', or the classic: "Wow that guy has done way too many drugs." I prefer 'Pharmaceutically Gifted'

Score: 1

Two muffins were in a oven... One said "wow it's really hot in here." Other muffin replyed "wow a talking muffin!"

Score: 2

A man and his five year old son are walking in to the woods. The deeper they get the darker it gets. The boy grabs his father's hand tightly. "Wow Dad, this is so scary".

The father shivers. "You're telling me son. I have to walk out of here by myself".

Score: 1

I told a friend's he has a gaming addiction All he said was "LoL WoW"

Score: 1

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