Wow Jokes


Funniest Wow Jokes

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet... I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.

Edit:*Wow thanks for the gold

Score: 21880

TIL unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead

EDIT: Wow. Now I understand RIP inbox.

Score: 21643
Funny Wow Jokes
Score: 19437

(My first dad joke) Wife was breastfeeding Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in

Me: yeah he is really milking it

Edit: wow this blew up!
thanks for the gold!!!

Score: 17402

Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.

Score: 16182

Without the Arabs we wouldn't have 9/11. It would be IX/XI.

edit: Wow, I came back and this really blew up!

Score: 13757

My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Lamborghini. I said, "Wow, that's an amazing car!"

He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year".

Score: 11858

I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, “Wow! That could have been me!” Then I remembered I can’t drive a bus.

Score: 11756

It is unfair how for every $1 a man makes, a woman makes $0.78... Because then the man is left with only $0.22...

EDIT: Wow, this blew up on my way home.

Yes, this joke is from Bo Burnham as others have so nicely pointed out. Check out his work; he is a comedic genius.

Score: 10173

6 was afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 7 eat 9? Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.

EDIT: Wow RIP inbox, thanks for the love guys.

Score: 9148

I want to be a millionaire just like my dad!! “Wow, your dad’s a millionaire?”
“No, but he always wanted to be.”

Score: 8970

I watched the video of my wedding backwards. I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.

Wow: I made it to front page! Thanks guys!

Score: 8821

Dad: Son, you're adopted. Son: Oh wow I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents, your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

Score: 8101

Wow. The neighborhood barber just got arrested for dealing drugs. I've been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.

Score: 5938

What borders stupidity? Mexico & Canada

Edit: Wow, people can't take a joke....

Edit 2: Ayy nice flair

Score: 4245

Dad: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking sons disease I have ever seen.

Score: 3160

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? One. We are efficient and dont have humour.

Edit: Wow this blew up. As a German, I didnt expect this.

Score: 2685

Dad joke warning ⚠ Knock, knock...
Who's there?
Cargo who?
Nope. Owl go who. Car go beep beep.

I warned you.

I won a Gold medal! Wow! Thank you /u/ArticCamels! I appreciate you... Be safe out there.

Score: 2644

I rang work and I said "I can't come in today, I have a wee cough" The boss said "You have a wee cough?"

I said "Wow, thanks boss, see you next Wednesday!"

Score: 2495





Edit: Wow, this really took off.

Score: 2404

Two Police officers. Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says:

“Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site.”

Score: 2326

A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single." The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?"

Cashier: "Because you're ugly."

Score: 2309

What does a girl want more than anything in the world? Nothing. She's fine.

Edit: Wow guys. Thanks so much for the upvotes, the hilarious comments and I finally got my 1st gold!

Score: 2071

What did the burglar say when he detonated a bomb to get into Fort Knox? Edit: Wow, this blew up. Thanks for the gold!

Score: 1929

How to be insulting A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.

He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"

She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"

The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Score: 1896

I had a bukkake party last night. It was a disaster. Nobody came.

Edit: Wow! While I was gone this really...exploded.

Score: 1883

From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks? You.

Why I oughta...!

Edit: Wow, thanks for all the love. My son is quite the character and he really caught me off guard with this!

Score: 1842

When do you start on red and stop on green? When you're eating a watermelon!

Edit: wow, this is my highest rated post. Finally broke the 1000 karma barrier thank you all

Score: 1842

Nice Legs.. A man goes to a bar and sees a 'larger' girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Score: 1780

My girlfriend is like an iPhone 7. I wish I had an iPhone 7.

edit: wow really this is the best thing I've ever done huh whelp I guess it's okay to peak at 24.

Score: 1653

What do Japanese cannibals eat Rawmen

Edit: Wow my first post is actually doing pretty well.
Thanks for upvotes and comments. I really don't know how to react.

Score: 1412

Today I got a girlfriend I wish I could post this in another subreddit.

Edit: Obligatory "omg so many upvotes/wow RIP my inbox lol/thanks for the gold."

Score: 1082

A dog walks into a bar The dog says, "Gimme a beer." The bartender says, "Wow! You can talk! You should get a job at the circus!" The dog says, "They're hiring electricians at the circus?"

Score: 670

I went to a bar last night and I saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said "Wow, great legs."

She giggled and said "Really?"

I said "Yea, most tables would've collapsed by now."

Score: 497

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot... The bartender says, "Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"

"Africa", says the parrot.

Score: 262

An inventor shows his friend the first knife ever. His friend says, “Wow! That’s the best thing since bread.”

The inventor says, “Well, I’m about to blow your mind.”

Score: 254

So a Black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder... The bartender says "Wow, that's something real special you've got there! Where'd you get it?"

"Africa!", says the parrot.

Score: 162

Doctor: it looks like you are pregnant madame. Lady: Wow, I'm pregnant?
Doctor: No, but you look like it.

Score: 141

A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator... And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.

The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."

The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"

Score: 133

If you want to impress a girl... ...try complimenting her. For instance, "Wow, you're a fast runner! You nearly got away!"

Score: 110

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New Wow Jokes

How about we cut the bread *before* we sell it? Wow! that's the greatest idea since... uh since... idk.

Score: 4

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said "Gee it's hot in here" The other one shouted "Wow, a talking muffin"

Score: 4

Interviewer: Please explain this 4 year gap on your resume. Me: That was when i went to Yale.

Interviewer: Wow, that's really impressive, you're hired.

Me: Thanks, I really need this Yob.

Score: 4

A black guy and his parrot walk into a bar The bartender says wow that's really cool where did you get it

The parrot says Africa

Score: 6

Two muffins are sitting in an oven One turned to the other and said:

"Wow, it's pretty hot in here."

The other one shouted:

"Wow, a talking muffin!"

Score: 4

Our orchestra teacher told us he’d throw an instrument at us if we messed up. Wow. I can’t believe our teacher is threatening us with violins.

Score: 9

So a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder the bartender says “Wow that’s cool! Where’d you get it” “Africa” says the parrot

Score: 30

A man wake up from a coma and see that Trump is president... ... he says "Wow this is a really elaborate April fool's joke".

Score: 6

Teacher: We found drugs in your son's backpack Parent: Oh wow, really?

Teacher: Yes, it's very concerning

Parent: Very.. *rubbing chin*.. he should have sold them all by now

Score: 4

A Demogorgon, a Dungeon Master and a Sherriff walk in to a bar. My friend shouts "Wow! I've never seen anything like this. Isn't this amazing?!"

I replied "Nah, I've seen Stranger Things."

Score: 64

A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please".

The barman says, "Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!"

The dog replies, "Why? Do they need electricians?"

Score: 66

Son : Why's my sister called Teresa? Dad : Cause your mom and I love Easter, it's an anagram

Son : Oh wow that's pretty cool

Dad : I know Alan

Score: 6

Wow, somebody actually died from smoking too much weed His cause of death was "Blunt Force Trauma"

Score: 7

HEY, HOW ARE YOU? - Dude, press the Caps Lock key on your keyboard!

Score: 9

So there's this blind girl giving a guy a handjob at a party... She says "wow! This is by far the biggest I've ever felt!"

The guy says "ah, you're pulling my leg."

Score: 5

Wow Peter! You have changed a lot during the last years! "Wow Peter! You have changed a lot during the last years!"
"My name is not Peter..."
"Oh you've also changed your name?!"

Score: 9

A clown and a five year old boy are walking into the woods As they get deeper into the forest the little boy says, Wow it's scary in here!
The clown replies, What are you scared of, I gotta walk out of here alone!

Score: 12

Wow, nice legs! A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Score: 63

Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree. Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.
Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.
Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?

Score: 10

A man went back to a pet store fuming. "Excuse me," he said to the pet shop owner. "That trained monkey you sold me yesterday died!"

"Wow," the owner replied. "He could never do that trick when I owned him."

Score: 10

The dentist said, "You need two root canals. They'll be expensive, but I'll let you pay... ..for them for $500 a month for 36 months."

I said, "Wow, those sound like car payments."

"They are."

Score: 46

IQ Test Psych Admin: "Sir, your IQ results are in, you scored 91."

The other guy: "Wow, my first A+"

Score: 8

A man is buying a banana, some skittles, and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single." The man responds: "Wow, how did you know?"

Cashier: "Because you're ugly."

Score: 5

My wife and I were walking past a restaurant She turns to me and says

"Wow , that place smells really nice"

I decided to treat her

I let her walk past it again

Score: 5

All those with telekinetic powers raise my hand. Wow! I wasn't expecting that!

Score: 17

Lucy, Linus, and Charlie Brown are assigned a history project. Each person was assigned a country to report on.

“Wow!” Lucy said. “I got Italy!”

“Interesting” exclaimed Linus. “I got Germany.”

With dismay, Charlie Brown said, “I got Iraq.”

Score: 29

A man with a black eye Walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says 'Wow, rough night?.' The man replies back, 'no my dads a panda.'

Score: 9

A man is buying a bananas, an apple and two eggs. A man is buying a bananas, an apple and two eggs.

The female cashier says: "You must be single."

The man replied: " Wow, how did you know?"

Cashier: "Because you're ugly."

Score: 69

I was doing the laundry today and I started reading the side of the detergent and it said… Tough on Grime.

Smashes Dirt.

Hard on Stains.

I thought, wow, that last one's a bit too much information…

Score: 20

Son of chief: "Father, how are we named?" Chief: "After you are born, your mother looks out of the teepee and names you the first thing she sees."

Son: "Oh wow, is that how you were named Soaring Eagle?"

Chief: "Yes, Horse Taking Dump"

Score: 18

There's a support group dedicated to those addicted to plastic surgery... The leader walks in and says "Wow, I see a lot of new faces. I have to say I'm disappointed!"

Score: 38

What does a terrorist say when his post reaches the front page ? Wow, this blew up

Score: 18

Prof.: There are no dumb questions! Prof.: "Are there any questions? There are no dumb questions!"

Student: "Do cows sweat more under the black dots than under the white ones?"

Prof.: "Wow..."

Score: 7

My girlfriend yelled at me today saying, "You weren't even listening to me just now, were you!?" I thought, "Wow, what a weird way to start a conversation."

Score: 15

Wow! I can't believe it's been almost a year since Harambe died. For the anniversary of his death, Cincinnati Zoo should have a sale. Discount for Harambe

Score: 5

"I saved a girl from getting raped yesterday." "Wow! That's great. How?" "Pure self-control."

Score: 6

Wow, Trump is making America great again... Aaron Hernandez is dead, Bill O'Reilly got fired. Trump is actually getting rid of the criminals and rapists!

Score: 5

What did the owner of the mining rig say to his workers after they blasted the rock and found gold underneath? Wow this really blew up! Thanks for the gold!

Score: 6

So a guy wants to get a job Interviewer: Do you have any abilities?
Man: Yes, I never die.
Interviewer (Surprised) WOW, how do you do that?
Man: Because dreams never come true....

Score: 5

A guy is buying some game DVDs, some magazines and a six pack. Cashier : "You must be single."

Guy: "Wow, how did you know?"

Cashier: "Because you're ugly."

Score: 33

A gorgeous blonde is stranded on an island... Two cannibals, father and son, find her.
The son says to the father: Wow dad! She is beautiful! Are we going to eat her?
To which the father replies: No son. Don't be silly, we're keeping her. We're eating your mother.

Score: 10

I saw a universal remote control for the first time today I thought to myself, "Wow, this changes everything!"

Score: 89

Bill Gates wakes up one morning, hungover, after a late night soirée at the foundation. Melinda looks at him and says, "Wow, Bill, you don't look so good."

Bill replies, "Yeah I know, I feel like a million bucks..."

Score: 85

The School Janitor Janitor: I know im just a school janitor, but my eldest son is in M.I.T., his younger brother in Princeton, and my youngest in Harvard.

Student: (amazed) Wow, what are they studying?

Janitor: Oh no, they are janitors as well.

Score: 6

Wow, Donald Trump is President. I haven't seen Democrats this mad since.... ...slavery was outlawed and the desegregation of public schools!

Score: 27

Doctor & Patient Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?

Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?

Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.

Score: 4

Before my tenth birthday, my dad told me I was adpoted I said, "wow really?"

He responded, "Yup pack your stuff they will be here in about twenty minutes"

Score: 9

A man is buying an apple, a banana, and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single." The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?"

Cashier: "Because you're ugly."

Score: 53

Some idiot asked me what the 27th letter of the Arabic alphabet is... And all I could say was, "Wow".

Score: 4

A black guy with a parrot walks into a bar. The bartender says, "wow! That is beautiful! Where did you get it?" The parrot responded, saying, "there are millions of them running around in Africa."

Score: 91

Husband and wife on call A wife hangs up after about a half-hour on the phone.

The husband is surprised, "Wow, that was quick - usually you women are at it for two hours at least!"

wife"Yeah, well, it was a wrong number."

Score: 8

What did the Japanese man say as the Hiroshima sky was filled with the light of an atomic bomb, in a split second? Wow this blew up fast.

Score: 4

A man goes to the lawyer: “What is your fee?” Lawyer says: “1000 US dollars for 3 questions.”

Man: “Wow - so much! Isn’t it a bit expensive?”

Lawyer: “Yes, what is your third question?”

Score: 3

A teenage boy to his father: "Father, I am not a virgin anymore." Father: "Wow that's great. Come, let's sit down and drink something to celebrate this moment."

Son: "Ok, I can drink with you but I really cannot sit down for a while."

Score: 3

Wow Monica Lewinski is 50 They grow up so fast. It seems like it was just yesterday, she was crawling around the Oval Office putting everything in her mouth.

Score: 3

A pirate walks into a brothel and says... "ARG! THERE SHE BLOWS!"

Edit: Wow 8 views. thanks guys :D

Score: 6

A man and a boy are walking through the dark woods together Boy: Wow this is really scary

Man: How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!!!

Score: 11

I showed my 12 year old son an old floppy disk.. He said "Wow.. Cool! You 3D printed the save icon!"

Score: 44

My friend's WoW character couldn't go forward anymore. You'll never guess what he said !? " wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"

Score: 11

A blonde, brunette, and a red head walk into a bar Wow, these are great binoculars!

Score: 5

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