Fat Jokes

Contents

Funniest Fat Jokes

Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she won't think twice... Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

Score: 22270

Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"... O B C D...

Score: 17833
Funny Fat Jokes
Score: 12124

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Nice legs."

The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."

I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Score: 11531

Yo mama's so fat she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops

Score: 10733

I wish I could see what it was like to be fat for just one day. I'm tired of being fat every day.

Score: 8484

I was going to make a fat joke It didn't work out.

Score: 4658

Yo mama so fat Before she was buried the earth was flat

Score: 4330

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Add a nipple to it.

Score: 2967

Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

Score: 2692

Two fat ladies walk into a bar They order drinks, in a thick accent.

"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.

Offended, one of them replies "Wales!"

"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"

Score: 2313

Stop bullying fat people, it isn't funny They have enough on their plate anyway.

Score: 2133

Don't make fun of fat people with lisps... They're thick and tired of it

Score: 1992

Why is Japan afraid of Kim Jong-un? because they remember what the last fat man did to them

Score: 1970

How to be insulting A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.

He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"

She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"

The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Score: 1896

Yo Mama so fat I swerved to avoid her in the road and ran out of gas

Score: 1768

A fat man was standing in front of a kindergarten One of the teachers comes and asks him:

"Are you expecting a child?"

"No. I am a bit fat that's all"

Score: 1729

Yo momma is so fat ... She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars.

Score: 1714

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

Score: 1702

My wife is so fat that when she booked a flight they made her have 2 seats. She was pissed off until I mentioned that she would get 2 meals

Score: 1663

My friend gets offended when people tell fat jokes. I told her to lighten up.

Score: 1523

Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she'll never notice. Call a girl fat once and she'll never forget it. Because elephants never forget.

Score: 1441

My 7 Year Old Cousin just told me this yo mamas so fat when she fell down no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up

Score: 1428

Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she'll never notice. Call a girl fat once and she'll never forget it. That's because elephants never forget.

Score: 1208

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

Score: 1116

I went to the doctors with hearing problems He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"

I said "Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"

Score: 1103

Why does Japan have a low obesity rate and a low birth rate? They don’t like Fat Man and Little Boy

Score: 861

My girlfriend was standing nude... in front of a mirror and she wasn't happy with what she saw.
She said, "I'm fat and I am ugly I really need a compliment right now."
To which I replied, "Well your eyesight is near perfect..."

Score: 710

Guys come on, we shouldn't give fat people such a hard time. They have enough on their plate already.

Score: 669

I went to the doctor with hearing problems.. He said "can you describe the symptoms?"

I said "Aye, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair!"

Score: 644

You shouldn’t make fun of fat people They have enough on their plates already.

Score: 644

Went to the doctors the other day and said ‘ I’m having loads of trouble hearing people when they speak’ Doctor said ‘ right ok. Can you describe the symptoms?’
I said ‘yeah Marge has blue hair and homer is a fat bloke’

Score: 610

Yo mama's so fat when she sat on a memory foam it forgot

Score: 598

What does Mr. T say when he sees a fat lady at a bar? I pity the stool!

Score: 582

I don't see why in this day and age there aren't marches against fat shaming Because marches would definitely solve the problem.

Score: 580

I went to a bar last night and I saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said "Wow, great legs."

She giggled and said "Really?"

I said "Yea, most tables would've collapsed by now."

Score: 497

Teacher: "Kids, what does the fluffy chicken give you?" Students: Eggs!

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pink pig give you?"

Students: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Students: "Homework!"

Score: 490

I like my girls like my file system... FAT and 16.

Score: 473

Sometimes I wonder about my ex girlfriends who I haven't seen in years, you know, like has she become all fat and bloated, or has she become disgustingly skinny; or maybe someone has already found the body.

Score: 410

I went to a pub last night and saw a fat girl dancing on a table... I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Score: 381

I said to a fat girl today... I said to a fat girl today,

"You're a big girl!"

She replied, "Tell me something I don't know."

I said, "Salad tastes nice"

Score: 374

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New Fat Jokes

I got one of those anti-bullying bracelets the other day I stole it off a fat ginger kid

Score: 11

My wife was worried that she was going to get fat, just because her sisters are fat, her mom is fat and her grandmother was fat. So I bought her a Peloton. She broke the cycle.

Score: 16

Yo mama so fat When she steps on a scale it says “To be continued”

Score: 10

How do you get a fat girl to bed? I’ll tell you, it’s a piece of cake!

A cake joke, because it’s my cake day!

Score: 32

What do u call a fat bee? A chubee

Score: 11

Want to know how to get a fat girl in bed? It’s a piece of cake

Score: 50

Why does Japan have such a low obesity rate? The last time they had a Fat Man 100,000 people died.

Score: 32

Yo mama’s so fat that when you were born... They had to send in a search party!

Score: 11

Relationships are like fat people most of of them dont work out

Score: 14

The past tense of fat is fit.

Score: 13

What do cows give you? Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Score: 18

I thought my jokes about fat people would be great for this sub but none of them worked out.

Score: 47

Your mother is so fat nobody can be 2 metres away from her.

Score: 33

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Score: 245

Why do Americans become fat by choice? So they can add more bullets to their ammo belt.

Score: 15

I was watching a really weird porno yesterday, it was a fat man wanking and crying.. Then i realised i hadn't switched the tv on...

Score: 12

My winter fat is gone... ... now I have spring rolls.

Score: 25

As a fat guy, I tend to avoid wearing skinny jeans. I find it very difficult to pull it off.

Score: 24

Fat acceptance is the only movement without movement

Score: 33

Yo mama's so fat She can't practice social distancing.

Score: 11

Life is like a box of chocolates It won’t last long if you’re fat

Score: 12

Why are Japanese people so thin? Because last time there was a fat man, 80,000 people died.

Score: 33

Wife: Did I get fat during quarantine? Husband: You were never really that skinny

Time of death: 26/4/20 11:31am

Cause of death: Corona virus.

Score: 9

Tell a woman she is beautiful every day and she probably won't remember you having said anything Call a woman fat once and she will remember that for as long as you live.

Because elephants never forget.

Score: 23

I went to the doctor because I was having hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms ?", he asked. I said "Homer's a fat guy and Marge has blue hair"

Score: 13

I went to the doctor for hearing problems. He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"

I said "Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"

Score: 116

A woman tells her therapist that her husband made 2 fat jokes about her the previous day. Husband: That's a lie.


Therapist: Then why would she remember you making them?


Husband: Because elephants never forget.

Score: 14

Your mother is so fat That she was sent home for gathering in a public place

Score: 14

Life is like a box of chocolates. Doesn’t last long for fat people.

Score: 29

teacher and class Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Students: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Students: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Students: "Homework!"

Score: 12

I don't make fat jokes But looks like your mom did

Score: 35

What do you call a town full of fat people? Obecity

Score: 26

-Doc, I have hearing problems -Could you describe the symptoms?

-Marge has blue hair and Homer is a fat guy

Score: 18

Life is like a box of chocolates It last's shorter for fat people

Score: 12

Yo mama so fat I took a picture of her last year and it's still printing

Score: 11

“I love you loads, honey pie.” My wife said earlier. “And I love you tons.” I replied.

“What, no nickname for me?” She asked, disappointed.

Sometimes I swear the fat cow’s going deaf.

Score: 202

Yo' mama is so fat That she sends me nudes via torrent

Score: 113

In 2020 I’m going to stop making fun of fat people They already have enough on their plate

Score: 18

Why shouldn't you make fun of a fat girl with a lisp? Because she's thick and tired of it.

Score: 42

If you watch Wall-E backwards it's about a little robot that would rather live alone forever than deal with fat people

Score: 82

I went to the doctors with hearing problems. He said, Can you describe the symptoms? I said yeah, Homers a bald fat dude that drinks Duff and Marge has blue hair

Score: 101

How is Christmas exactly like your job? You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.

Score: 21

If I'm fat but identify as slim Does that mean I am trans slender?

Score: 26

I like my women the same way I like my cheese Fat free American singles

Score: 18

Why is Cardi B named like that? Because she is too fat for Cardi O

Score: 10

Call a woman beautiful... Call a woman beautiful every day for 10 years and she won’t remember you did.

Call a woman fat just once, and she will remember it forever.

Because elephants never forget.

Score: 10

I have lots of jokes to tell about fat people and doors But they just never seem to fit

Score: 10

I have seen a lot of fat jokes here recently, and we should be nicer to them. They have enough on their plates as it is

Score: 48

People should just ease up on criticising fat people for their body structure They clearly have enough on their plate

Score: 11

How do you burn a lot of calories quickly? Set a fat kid on fire

Score: 26

Why does Japan have such a low obesity rate? Because last time there was a Fat Man, 8000 people died.

Score: 13

Yo mama so fat when I see her on Tinder, I have to swipe twice to get all of her off the screen.

Score: 15

I told a suicide bomber she looked fat Boy, that really blew up in my face.

Score: 10

Life is like a box of chocolates ... it doesn’t last long for the fat people.

Score: 20

My wife looked into the mirror and said "I feel fat and it's making me depressed." ​

"Well then," I replied "stop touching it."

Score: 12

As a fat guy, I tend to avoid wearing skinny jeans. I find it difficult to pull it off.

Score: 34

At the school petting zoo, the animals all give different things. The sheep’s give wool to make blankets,

The pigs give therapy for the disabled kids,

And the fat cow gives out homework.

Score: 16

How do you make 3 pounds of fat look beautiful? Simple, just add a nipple.

Score: 11

I asked my husband if I looked fat His answer was, “Do I look stupid?”

Score: 14

Yo mama so fat ... The sorting hat put her in waffle house.

Score: 37

Yo momma so fat she doesn't support NTFS.

Score: 30

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