Nurse Jokes

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Funniest Nurse Jokes

Me: “When I donate blood I do not extract it myself. A nurse does it for me.” Receptionist: “Yes, but this is a sperm bank and it doesn’t work that way.”

After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. Who was that?

Me: When i donate blood i do not extract it myself. A nurse does it for me Receptionist: Yes, but this is a sperm bank and it doesn't work that way.

After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. “Who was that?”

Prostate Exam After my recent Prostate Exam - one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had –
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.
After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....

She said...."Who was that guy?"

Funny Nurse Jokes

I decided not to vaccinate my daughter... I let the nurse do it instead; she's much more adept with a syringe.

A man is rushed to the hospital and is given blood. When the man gets worse, a nurse goes running to the doctor, saying "We gave him the wrong blood!"

The doctor responds "Ah, must've been a Type-O!"

A nurse told me "Sorry for the wait!" I replied "It's alright, I'm patient."

After my wife had given birth to our baby, the nurse asked me, "Do you have a name yet?" I replied proudly, "Yes, Steve!" She squealed, "Awww! That's a lovely name!" "Thanks!" I said. "But what do you think we should call the baby!?"

In the hospital, I asked the charge nurse for a phone charger - she was very offended. Don't even get me started on the reaction from the head nurse.

I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight... to fulfill my fantasy... that we have health insurance.

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? Just in case she needed to draw blood!

A nurse in a mental hospital receives a call A man says: "Miss, could you check if the patient in room 14 is still there?"

Nurse: "A moment please"

After a while,
Nurse: "No!! He's gone!!"
The man: "Good, looks like I really escaped this time...."

Nurse comes in and tells the doctor “there is a man in the waiting room that says he is invisible. What should I tell him?” Doctor replies, “tell him I can’t see him today. “

A nurse comes in and tells a doc... ..."there's a man in the waiting room that thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?"

Doc says, "Tell him I can't see him today."

When I donate blood Me: "When I donate blood I do not need to extract it myself. A nurse does it for me."

Receptionist: "Yes, but this is a sperm bank and it doesn't work that way!"

A guy calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help! My wife's going into labor!"

The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?"

He says, "No! This is her husband!"

Nurse pops her head into the doctor's office..... Nurse: 'Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.'

Doctor: 'Tell him I can't see him.'

After my wife had given birth to our baby, the nurse asked me, "Do you have a name yet?" I grinned and said, "Yes, Steve!" She gushed, "Awww! That's a lovely name!" "Thanks." I said. "But what do you think we should call the baby?"

Hospital... A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

Words no man wants to hear After the prostate exam, the doctor left.

Then the nurse came in. As she shut the door, she asked: "Who was that?"

An invisible man was in the waiting room. "Your patient is here, doctor," the nurse said.

The doctor replied, "Tell him I can't see him right now."

Nurse to my dad at the hospital... ... after he was hit by a car on his bike: do you smoke?

Dad, still not sure who the current president is: only when I'm on fire

Nurse: looks to my mom

Mom: no.

My Dad and I were talking this morning about my brother's newborn baby... Dad: I think the nurse will take out the plastic thingy from the baby's arm today.

Me: IV?

Dad: I think her name is Brenda, actually.

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She told me that I have to stop jerking off. I asked, "Why?"

She replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

Two babies are laying in the nursery One says:
-I'm a boy.
The other one asks:
-How do you know?
1st one replies:
-When the nurse leaves I will show you.
The nurse leaves shortly and the baby lifts up his blanket and says:
-See, I have blue socks on.

If you’re trying to meet an attractive nurse It helps to be patient.

Why does the blonde nurse take a red pen to work? In case she has to draw blood.

I said, "When I donate blood, the nurse extracts it out for me." The receptionist said: "Yes, but this is a sperm bank & here it doesn't work that way."

John Cena wakes up in the hospital... He asked the nurse, "Where am I?"
The nurse replied, "ICU."
He looks at her and says, "No you can't..."

Dear JUSTIN BEIBER haters... Dear JUSTIN BEIBER haters*
.
.
.
I owe my life to justin.
On march 9th, 2012 I was in a coma for 6 months after a terrible car crash.

One day my nurse turned the radio to Justin's song, So I got up and turned the radio off.

A lawyer is in the hospital.. As the lawyer woke up after surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?"

The nurse answered, "There's a big fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."

Let's make it Aussie joke day. A man on vacation in Queensland suffers a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. On waking, he weakly asks the nurse, "Was I brought here to die?" The nurse replies, "No, they brought you in yesterday."

I woke up in the middle of an operation once. The nurse said “Don’t worry, you just drifted off for a minute doctor.”

A new nurse listened while Dr. Bryce was yelling... ..."Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!"

The new nurse asked another nurse, "Why is he doing that?"

The other nurse replied, "Oh, he just likes to call the shots around here."

What would a video game about an abortion nurse be called? Womb raider

I will never vaccinate my child. I'd rather a doctor or nurse do it.

My girlfriend and I like to roleplay She pretends to be a nurse while I pretend she exists.

I wrote the most disgusting joke ever. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Why don't mother vampires nurse their infants?

Because the only bleed once a month.

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New Nurse Jokes

A critical care doc, an ICU nurse and a field epidemiologist walk into a bar, Just kidding, no they don't.

goddamnit

A nurse walks towards a man informing him his wife didn’t make it while giving him the baby. He gives the baby back to the nurse and said “Give me the one me and my wife made”.

Doctor Visit After my Prostate Exam, the doctor left. When the nurse came in as she shut the door, she whispered three words no man wants to hear:


Who was that?"

What did the nurse say when the doctor decided to stay home? Suture self!

A man from the US with COVID-19 is the in an Australian hospital. He looks at the nurse and says, "Did I come here to die?"

The nurse turns and replies, "No, you came here yestaday"

I walked into the sperm bank wearing a Tuxedo and the receptionist looked over at the nurse and said.. Get a load of this guy!

gave blood today, nurse asked which arm… I said, “Left, please. If that doesn’t phle-boto-you; it won’t phlebotomy.”

A woman gives birth in the hospital to a beautiful baby boy. “I’d like to name him Jack”, she says to the Nurse. “I’m sorry,” said the Nurse “but that name is already taken. How about Jack573 or Jack_142?”

A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar. The nurse sits down at the bar and says, "I'll have
a Bloody Mary!"

The doctor sits next to her and says, "Give me
a rum and coke!"

The anti-vaxver says, "No shots for me."

She then collapses and dies from polio.

An Australian old man walks into a hospital. He says, "I came here to die."

The nurse says, "No, you came here yesterdie."

Once a woman gave birth to a very ugly baby When the nurse showed it to her, she told her husband:

-Look at this, isn't it a treasure?

The husband replied:

-Of course it is, bring a shovel and lets bury it

After a bad cut, I asked the ER nurse if I could do my own stitches. She said, “Suture self.”

How do you identify the head nurse apart from all the other nurses? From the dirt on her knees

"Push! Push!" Shouts the nurse in the delivery room. I can't believe I'm gonna lose a push up contest in front of my new born son.

A guy calls a hospital He says "you gotta help me! My wife's going into labor."
The nurse says "calm down, is this her first child?"
He says "No! This is her freaking husband!"

Where can you find the gods of the medical staff? The Nurse mythology

What did the nurse say to the patient who swallowed Scrabble tiles? Don't worry, you'll have a vowel movement soon.

A nurse asked me recently, “Are you always this pale?” I told him, “Only on caucasian.”

A doctor, a nurse, and a mom walk into a bar The doctor sat down and ordered a shot of whiskey.

The nurse sat down and ordered a shot of tequila.

The mom sat down and said “I’m sorry I don’t do shots.” Then falls over dead from polio.

Jean I once knew a dental nurse who loved giving blowjobs and smoking weed.

She was known as oral high Jean.

Did you hear about the maternal nurse who ran off with a doctor? It was a midwife crisis.

The nurse taking my blood got annoyed when I told them they were bad at their job, I don’t understand why though, after all they did keep saying: ‘be negative’

A man wakes up in the hospital from cancer surgery,and asks the nurse "Were you able to save my testicles?". "Yes,we saved them for you under your pillow."

A man is lying on his death bed and asks the nurse for a priest. "Do you want to confess?" the nurse asks. "No ," replies the man, "I want to molest a minor and need the advice of an expert."

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? In case she needed to draw blood.

John Cena gets into a car wreck and ends up in the hospital... After being in a coma for 3 days he wakes up and asks the nurse, "Where am I?" The nurse responds, "ICU".

​

John Cena replies, "NO YOU DON'T!!!!"

What do you call the Imodium the head nurse at Hogwarts gives you? Defense Against the Dark Farts

The nurse brought me my newborn baby and said, "I'm sorry, your wife didn't make it." I immediately handed it back and told her to bring me the one my wife made.

A nurse goes into the doctors office and says, ‘Doc, I’ve got a patient who’s waiting in reception. He says he’s starting to turn invisible. What do you want me to tell him?’ Doc: ‘Tell him I can’t see him right now.’

My sister in law is a nurse and she always has a red pen with her. I asked her why and she laughed and said ...you never know when I may have to draw blood.

After my prostrate exam The doctor left the room. The nurse walks in, and whispers to me the words no man wants to hear.

“Who was that man?”

Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? In case she needed to draw blood.

A nurse wakes up her patient and says "Wake up Mrs. Johnson. It's time to take your sleeping pills"

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? In case she needs to draw blood.

What did the cop say to the black nurse after his vasectomy? Don’t run, I shoot “blanks”

I became an anti-vaxxer after my doctor’s nurse insulted me. Right before poking me with the needle, she said: “Get ready... little prick!”

A small boy swallows some coins and is taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephones to ask how he is, the nurse tells her, “No change yet.”

Just a John Cena joke John Cena woke up in the hospital with no idea of what was going on.The nurse walked in and he asked
"Where am I?"
She responded
"ICU"
He said
"No you don't "

One of my friends is a nurse who used to throw up everytime someone with no feet came into her ward. Turns out she was lack toes intolerant.

A blonde bursts out the doctor's office, yelling that the doctor flirted with her. The staff rush to see what was going on, they asked her, "What did he do?"

She replied, "He told the nurse he'll check me out!"

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Long Nurse Jokes

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful.
Now listen very, very closely:

Are - my - test - results - back?"

Donald Trump, a Black man and a Jew are sitting in a hospital...

their wives all gave birth to healthy babies around the same time and are now resting. The three men are sitting in a room nearby when a nurse comes in and tells them there has been a mix-up, a nurse forgot to put identifying bracelets on the babies before taking them for a medical exam and now they don't know which baby is which.

She asks them if they could help identify their babies and the Jew goes first. One minute later, he steps out of the nursery holding a black baby, the Black man gets up and says ''Hey man, I'm pretty sure that one's mine'' to which the Jew replies ''One of those babies is a Trump, and I'm not taking any chances!''

Are my testicles black?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and
gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate
from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment
and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles
in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says
very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen
very, very closely:

Are - my - test - results - back?"

A Mexican man is found unresponsive...

A Mexican man is found unresponsive on the roadway outside Tijuana.
Local authorities call for an ambulance and he is rushed to the nearest hospital.
Unfortunately, the doctors determine that he has consumed a lethal amount of drugs and there is nothing they can do to save him. He dies within a few minutes and the attending physician marks the cause of death as "1/2".
Curious, the nurse asks him what this seemingly unrelated fraction has to do with this man's death.
The doctor responds "Juan over-dos".

If your Doctor spoke like Trump

So it seems you’ve tested positive for the Chinese virus, the so-called Covid NINETEEN, the Corona—nobody knows what to call it, quite frankly. It’s the most amazing thing, no one knew anything about Corona until a few weeks ago.

But the moment I heard about it—the Wuhan flu; it’s also the Wuhan, or WuHAAN—that’s a city in China. Many people don’t know that. But the moment I heard about this Chinese flu, I ordered a test. And it’s an amazing test. We do better testing than anywhere in the world. Some say the Germans have the best tests, but they don’t. Our tests are even better.

So you’re positive for Corona. And usually “positive” is a positive word—it’s a very good word, frankly. Everybody thinks it’s good, apart from what you hear on the news—which is fake. It’s largely fake. But in medicine, “positive” is not so good. So it’s very confusing. And I’ve always been very clear about that. Some say “positive” is always good, but I’ve never agreed with that.

So you’re positive for the Corona. But you’ll be fine. Totally fine. You might think you’re going to die—and everybody does die, eventually. But you’ll be fine. You feel fine, right? You won’t need a ventilator. There are no ventilators—but you won’t need one.

How old are you, 55? You won’t need one. Some people need a ventilator, and they’re amazing machines. Did you know the first ventilator was made by Henry Ford? It’s an incredible piece of equipment. But you’ll be fine.

The virus gets into your lungs, which is where you breathe. But you have two of them. Some say you have a spare. Some people only have one lung. It’s true. But I don’t talk about spares. I always want both. Given a choice, I want two lungs.

So I’ve asked nurse—what’s your name, Nancy?—I’ve asked nurse Nancy to keep you comfortable. And Nancy is one of our finest nurses. I mean, just look at her. Incredible, right? Nancy, you’re really incredible. You’re not afraid of Corona, are you, the Chinese Plague? I didn’t think so. Nancy will bring you whatever you need. And if you start coughing, do that into your elbow, so you don’t make a mess. Okay, you’re doing great. I’ll see you later.

An Englishman, a Welshman and a Pakistani man were sat in the waiting room of the maternity ward at the local hospital...

An Englishman, a Welshman and a Pakistani man were sat in the waiting room of the maternity ward at the local hospital.

A nurse comes out and says to the men "I'm sorry, but there's a been a mix-up and we don't know which baby belongs to which mother. Any chance one of you could come in and see if you can help?"

The Englishman stands up and says that he'll help. He walks into the ward and, a couple of minutes later walks out with what is obviously a Pakistani baby. The Pakistani man stands up and shouts "What do you think you're doing?!"

And the Englishman said "Look, one of those babies in there is Welsh, and I'm not taking any chances."

A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.

A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.

The nurse sits down at the bar and says, "I'll have a Bloody Mary!"

The doctor sits next to her and says, "Give me a rum and coke!"
The anti-vaxver says, "No shots for me."
She then collapses and dies from polio.

The nurse told the parents of a newly born child, "You have a cute baby."

The smiling husband said, "I bet you say that to all new parents."

"No," she replied, "just to those whose babies really are good-looking."

The husband again asked "So what do you say to the others?"

The nurse replied, "The baby looks just like you."

Doctor's Affair

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.

"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked.

He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write "spaghetti" on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by, and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."

The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you."

Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the hospital emergency room. The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest.

So the wife picked up the card and read: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs; two without."

Easy as 1,2,3.....4.

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

Four men are in the hospital waiting room!

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”

“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”

A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”

“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.

“I work for 7 Up!”

A guy gets hit by a car.

He wakes up in the hospital with the nurse right next to him.The guy asks if he'll be ok, and the nurse replies with yes.The nurse asks "You'll need to pay for your stay here, which comes to about 20 grand. Do you have enough money?"

The guy replies "No, unfortunately, money is tight for me."

The nurse asks "well do you have any relatives that could help you pay?"

The guy says "No, my only living relative is my sister. She's an un-married nun."

The nurse interrupts and says "Actually, nuns are married to God."

The guys goes "Ok then, send the bill to my brother-in-law."

​

Edit: Ok what the actual f\*ck how did this joke get 1500 upvotes

Nurse - are my testicles black?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and
gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate
from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment
and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles
gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says
very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen
very, very closely:

Are - my - test - results - back?"

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and
gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate
from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment
and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles
gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says
very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen
very, very closely:

Are - my - test - results - back?"

'Of course I won't laugh,' said the nurse.

'I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.'

'Okay then,' said Dave, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery. Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing.

Ten minutes later, she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure. 'I am so sorry,' she said. 'I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?'
'It's swollen',he said.....

A Jew, an Irishman, and a black man are in a maternity ward...

A Jew, an Irishman, and a black man are in a maternity ward waiting room. The nurse walks in and explains that there's been a terrible mix up with the babies, and that the fathers are going to have to figure out amongst themselves which baby belongs to whom. The Irishman springs up out of his chair and volunteers to go first.

A few minutes later the Irishman returns holding a newborn black-skinned baby in his arms.

The black man shouts in anger "Now, I KNOW that baby is MINE!" to which the Irishman replies: "One of those babies is Jewish, and I'm not taking any chances!"

An Engineer was jobless for long time...

He could not find a job so he opens a clinic and puts a board outside.. get treatment for $50, if not treated get back $100.

One Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $100 and goes to clinic.

Doctor : I have lost taste in eating

Engineer : Nurse , bring medicine from box no 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth.

Patient (Doctor) : This is Petrol

Engineer : Congrats.. you got your taste back ..give me $50

Doctor gets annoyed, goes back after some days to recover his money

Doctor : I have lost my memory, can not remember anything

Engineer : Nurse , bring medicine from box no 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth.

Doctor : But this medicine for taste of the tongue

Engineer : congrats. you got your memory back.. give my fees $50.

Doctor goes back angrily and comes back after some days

Doctor : My eyesight is become weak.

Engineer : Well I don't have any medicine for this. Take this $100

Doctor : But this is $50 Note

Engineer : Congrats .. you got back your eyesight .. give my fees $50

Doctor shocks...Engineer Rocks..!!!

"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse.

"I'm a professional. In over twenty years, I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest male part the nurse had ever seen. In length and width, it was almost identical to a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out. Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man's part, she composed herself as well as she could. "I am so sorry," she said, "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise that won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Bob replied.

I just successfully pulled-off the 'key to comedy' joke around my surgery.

As I felt the anaesthetic starting to kick in I said, 'I have a joke'. 'Better be quick!' The anaesthetist said.
'Do you know what the key to comedy is?'
Then I smiled and passed out.

When I woke up a couple of hours later I asked the nurse to tell the anaesthetist my message: 'timing'.

I was a bit worried I just dreamed the first part but I checked with the doc and they said they got it all :)

Great success.

A woman goes into labour and her husband takes her to the hospital.

As she is laying in the hospital bed, the nurse tells her of a new type of technology that allows a percentage of her pain to be passed to the father of the child. They both agree, so start on 10% to be transferred.

However, the husband says he can feel nothing, and is willing for it to be turned up, so it goes up to 20%.

Again, he says the pain is bearable and more or less non-existent, so it goes up to 50%.

Eventually, the pain transfer gets turned up to 100%, and the husband is coping very well, allowing his wife to have a pain free child birth. "This is so easy!" he says.

Eventually, a healthy, adorable baby is born, and they get to take it home. They drive the whole way back smiling. They pull into their driveway and go to the front door, only to find the postman, dead on the doorstep.

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